The Game of Seduction

Chapter 9: Awakenings and Invitations

James caught her right as she was acsending the stairs to the girls' dorms.

"Lily! Wait!" She paused, taking in a deep breath, before reluctantly turning around.

"What is it, Potter?" James' eyebrows shot up, before they furrowed in confusion.

"Eh? We're back to surnames, are we? I thought we'd called a truce…?" Lily closed her eyes, sighing heavily.

"Sorry about that. Old habits die hard, I guess…." James smiled at her a bit uncertainly. It might have just been him, but she looked like she'd been run over by a train; she was desheveled, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her skin had an almost green hue to it. It nearly broke his heart seeing her like this. He was brought out of his reverie by the impatient tapping of her foot. "Not to be rude, James, but was there something you wanted?" For a moment he just gaped at her, at a loss for words, his mind abandoning him, just when he needed it.

"Er…" Lily raised her eyebrows, for a moment, then nodded sharply.

"Right. I guess I'll be going then-"

"Wait!" he shouted again when she began to turn, and with annoyed scowl, she turned back to him, expectantly.

"Well…?"

"Er…" he knew there was something he needed to tell her; if only he could put it into coherent sentences! Luckily, when she rolled her eyes skyward, everything came back to him in a rush. "Lily!"

"What? What is it?"

"Lily, I've been meaning to ask you…. How are you?" She looked at him incredulously.

"Is that all you had to ask me?" When he blushed, she sighed once more. "Well, I guess I'm fine, thanks for asking. Now, if you'll excuse me?" Just when she'd almost reached the 7th year girls dorm, he called out to her, once more.

"You're not fine." Swallowing heavily, she slowly began back down the steps.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'you're not fine.'"

"Yes, I heard you. Now do you mind telling me why?"

"Why what?"

Lily huffed in frustration. "Why do you think I'm not fine?"

"Oh! Well, for one." James took a deep breath. "you look like crap."

Lily recoiled at his bluntness, and tears unwillingly sprang to her eyes. James immediately took hold of her arm, and began to apologize profusely.

"Gah! Lily, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to say at all!" Lily forcefully pulled herself from his grip.

"Then what the hell do you want from me? What do you want? You want to see me cry, is that it? Well too bloody bad, because I'm not crying for you anymore!" She attempted to run up the stairs again, but James caught her and held her to him.

"Please, Flower! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want to know what's wrong! I want to help!"

Lily struggled for a minute, but he was too strong. Finally, she gave up, as did her frantic struggle to keep her tears at bay. They came welling out of her, and she burried her head into his sweater, terribly ashamed of herself for crying in front of him.

"Don't you know…? You can't help! You'll only make it worse!" she sobbed.

"Make what worse?"

"This!" Lily pulled away from him for a second, and gestured down at her chest. "All of this! It hurts, James! I don't know how to fix it! I mean, usually I can fix it, but now it's too much! It's too--"

She was cut off abruptly when James took her head in his hands and kissed her hard. But it was only short lived, and Lily pushed him away.

"No! You're only making it worse!" she moaned, burrying her face in her hands.

"Lily, please! I don't understand!" She sucked in a few deep breaths before looking him in the eye.

"He's after you, James," she whispered. "You know that. How can you know that, and think that this--" she motioned between them, "could ever work! And Dumbledore wants us to protect each other?" she laughed humorlessly, "Ha! I can barely look after myself, let alone you too!"

"So that's it..." said James, as his confusion was miraculously being lifted. "you're just scared!"

"Of course I'm scared! I'm bloody terrified! Who wouldn't be?"

But James didn't hear her, and reached for her, holding her in a bone-crushing embrace. "You don't have to be frightened, Little Flower…. I'll always protect you, no matter what. Do you know why…? I love you, and no matter how hard he tries, Voldemort can never destroy that…."

Lily let out a tiny gasp at this declaration, and tried to fight the melting she felt in her already weak knees. She stiffened, and pushed him away. "No."

"No?"

"No." She shook her head, slowly backing away. "You don't love me… if you did, you wouldn't lie to me…."

"What?" said James, but he already had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he knew exactly what she was getting at.

"You know what. You lied to me that day in the forest… about how we escaped that werewolf. You know more than you let on. I told you before: I'm not stupid."

"You're just changing the subject, Lils. You're just using that as an excuse so you don't have to admit that this is real. Our love can--"

"Don't talk to me about love, and don't tell me I'm changing the subject! Real love has no secrets! You keep things from me, James…. You even knew that Voldemort was after you, and you never told me…."

James immediately felt guilty. "I was only trying to protect you. That's the only reason I never told you. As for my other secrets… they're just not mine to tell!"

"Then whose are they?" James was silent, shaking his head back and forth.

"I can't, Lily… I just can't."

A fire James hadn't seen for days lit up inside her eyes. "Then that's just it. It's over." She laughed again. "What am I talking about? It never even got started!" She turned on her heel and vaulted the stairs.

"Lily…!" But she was already gone. Growling angrily, James turned around and kicked a chair, which he soon regretted when a hot pain radiated up in his foot. "Ah!" Feeling like he was going to cry, (half from physical pain and half from emotional pain), he trudged up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. When he opened the door to his room, it was empty, which he was greatful for. Sighing, he flopped miserably onto his bed, but lept up again when he heard the crunching of paper. Looking back down at his bed, he realized that he had landed on a note. Picking it up, the pretty pink paper let out a nausiating scent of something flowery and perfumy, and after waving his hand in front of his face to get the smell away, he finally got down to reading the message written in a frilly and fancy cursive:

My Darling Jamesy,

Meet me tonight at midnight, in the Astronomy Tower. Don't be late.

Love,

Narcissa Black

P.S.—Bring your bathing suit.