They'd finally gotten a moment alone. In honor of Oliver being in town they'd thrown a small gathering at Grimmauld. Lupin, Tonks, Hermione, and the entire Weasley clan with the exception of Percy. They'd managed to break away from their family and friends and had snuck down to the lab. Heat shot through Lucy's body as Oliver kissed her. God, she had missed him so much. He was the first boy she had ever loved, and she knew he was the only boy she would ever love. She didn't know when it had happened. She'd thought he was very handsome the first time he'd come into her office at Hogwarts. But she'd had other things on her mind. Somewhere between finding out who she was, protecting Harry from her father, and trying to find a potion to regenerate nerves they had fallen in love. The first time he'd kissed her she'd had to check to make sure her head was still attached to her body. He had found her in the library after hours. She'd been reading her mother's diary for the third time.. He'd snuck up on her and read the entry about how she had been concieved. He'd been very curious as to why she was reading the diary of Harry Potter's mother with tears running down her face. She'd been so afraid that he would hate her and look at her in disgust. But he hadn't. He'd held her in his strong arms and told her that her heritage didn't matter to him and he had kissed her. Her heart had raced, and her face had felt as though it were on fire. Whenever he held her she felt so safe, and so loved. She knew that when she had fixed his sight he would be going back to playing Keeper for England. He wrote her often, and the used the floo network, but it just wasn't the same as having him here with her, touching him, kissing him. She would never ask him to give it up because she knew how much joy it gave him. She saw it in his eyes whenever he played, or talked about one of his games. He didn't do it for the fame, or the glory, and he certainly didn't do it for the money. He played Quidditch for the rush of euphoria it gave him. It was the same rush she felt whenever she found the right combination of potion ingredients. It didn't matter if the potion could counteract poison or just get rid of an unpleasant odor. It was the thrill of accomplishment. She moaned as Oliver pressed her against her mix table. She felt a flash of heat as his hands slid up her skirt. They had been together for almost six months but had not yet consumated the relationship. They shared her bed whenever he visited, though Sirius was doing everything in his power to prevent it, but they never did anything. It was not from any lack of desire, she simply wasn't ready. She just enjoyed feeling him next to her when she slept. She never slept better than when she was in his arms. It was incredibly tempting to let him continue his ministrations, and take her right here against the table. She let common sense take over and gently pushed him away.
"We shouldn't," she said. "I mean I want to but"
"It's okay," he told her gently stroking her cheek. "I missed you Lucy"
"I've missed you too, Oliver. So much." He pulled her against him and rubbed her back. Even though he was two years younger than her he was taller, her head fitting just under his chin. She buried her face in his chest and let his scent fill her senses. He always smelled like soap and vanilla. Whenever she smelled those things she always thought about him.
"You want to tell me what's wrong love?" he asked her. She pulled away and looked away from him.
"Why would you think anything is wrong?" she asked evasively.
"Oh I don't know. The way you threw yourself on me when I arrived. The way you hardly said anything at dinner. The way you never directly speak to Sirius unless it's to ask for the salt. What's going on Lucy? The last few times we've spoke you've seemed sad." Lucy could never hide anything from him, he read her like an open book. Unable to hold back her emotions she buried her face in his chest and let her tears soak his shirt.
"Shh, shh," Wood soothed her. "Whatever it is love, you can tell me"
"Oh I don't know what's wrong with me, Oliver. I've been alone all my life and now I'm surrounded by people who love me. Harry is just the greatest brother anyone could ever have. Tonks and Remus, are like my best friends now. Hermione is so much fun to work with, I love teaching her to make potions, she's so thirsty for knowledge. She reminds me of myself when I was fifteen. And the Weasley's have pratically adopted me. I should be so happy. But I'm not"
"It's Sirius isn't it?" he asked her. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes and nodded.
"Has he been treating you badly?" he demanded. "Because if he has I swear I'll"
"No," she shook her head. "It's not that. Sirius couldn't be kinder. It's just"
"What love"
"I feel like he expects me to be my mother. He's always telling me how much I remind him of her"
"From what I've heard about your mother I would say that's a compliment"
"But I'm not Lily. I can never be Lily. I'm just not good enough"
"What are you talking about"
"My mother was an amazing witch. She was powerful, smart, high marks in every subject, great at Quidditch. I can't even make a ball of yarn float"
"You can make words appear on a blackboard without even using a wand"
"Not anymore," Lucy said weakly. "I haven't been able to do that since my father died. I told you that I finally got a wand last week"
"Yeah," he said. "Ivory and uniorn hair. You said it was working great"
"It was," she said. "Till about a week ago. Now I can't make it work"
"You've never used a wand before, it's natural to have some difficulty"
"That's not all. My potions have been off lately." Now Oliver was surprised. Lucy had never had difficulty with potions before. She knew more about potions than anyone he'd ever heard of.
"None of the potions I've tried to remove Sirius's mother's portrait with have worked. It's a simple potion, Oliver. It should have worked"
"From what Sirius has told me, there's some powerful magic surrounding that portrait"
"A simple sticking spell," she said shaking her head. "I've examined that portrait a hundred times. The spell keeping it on the wall is powerful yes, but it's not complex. I should have been able to bring it down weeks ago. Something's wrong, Oliver. It's like I'm losing my power"
"It seems to me like the only thing you're losing is your confidence." Lucy wiped the tears from her eyes and leaned against him.
"There's something going on Oliver. I'm scared." Oliver held her close and kissed the top of her head.
"Whatever's happening, we'll figure it out together. You're not alone Lucy. Not anymore"
"I love you Oliver," she whispered.
"I love you too."
Harry was exhausted when he crawled into bed at 2:00 that morning. It had been a fun evening. Charlie Weasley had brought his new girlfriend Diana to the party. She was Romanian and worked with dragons like Charlie. He couldn't help but notice Bill and Tonks holding hands underneath the table. Mrs. Weasley had made her special blueberry cake which everyone enjoyed. He enjoyed being with his family and friends though Lucy had been strangely quiet all evening. When Oliver had come in that morning she'd practically flung herself at him like a man dying of thirst would dive at a glass of water. It had been the first time he'd seen her smile in quite some time. He didn't know what was wrong with his sister, but he knew that she wasn't happy. He felt guilty. He was the one who had begged her to come live with he and Sirius. He wanted to make this work so badly he'd failed to consider her feelings. He knew that Sirius realized this too, but so far his godfather had not said anything about it. He heard Lucy getting ready for bed across the hall. No doubt Oliver would be sneaking out of the guest room and slipping across the hall into Lucy's room any minute now. He'd never heard any sounds that indicated they were doing anything inappropriate. He couldn't help notice that Sirius seemed to be extra nice to Oliver that evening. He rolled over onto his side and tried to sleep. He hadn't been sleeping well because of the nightmares. Sirius had noticed as had Ginny. Mrs. Weasley had made mention of it when she saw him that evening. He couldn't tell them about the nightmares. He didn't want them to worry. They'd all had too much of that lately. They deserved to enjoy the evening and not have to be concerned about him. He fell into sleep with thoughts of Ginny's red hair flowing through his mind.
'They were standing in a circle surrounding something he could not see. He could not see thier faces for they were covered by dark cloaks. Their arms were raised and they were chanting.
'With his blood his heart shall beat,
With his bone he shall be flesh
With his soul he shall live.
With the death of our hated enemy
Our master once again shall rise.' Harry was frightened by thier words. They were talking about thier master. Voldemort. The Death Eaters were trying to bring back Voldemort. He pushed his way through them and stared in horror at what they were chanting around. On a stone pillar, eyes closed in death, his own face stared back at him.
Harry sat upright in his bed. He reached over to his table and turned on the lamp. He ran a hand over his sweaty forehead and let out a shuddering breath. What could these dreams be telling him? With a start he remembered what Sirius had told him the other day. It was supposed to be impossible to bring someone back from the dead. But was it?