Part I

Foot in the Door

18 February, 1834

The library was probably Elsa's favorite place in the castle. It allowed her to be safely isolated from everyone else, while still being out, in a manner of speaking, especially when she was surrounded by piles of books. At the least, there were so many ways for her to escape, be it through the magic of geometry, or the wonder of a lady knight saving a princess. That was the book she paged through, though her mind was somewhere else than her favorite book. Her mother had warned her they were taking on a new member of the staff, but Elsa hadn't expected her to be so … young. So close to her own age. She'd gone over the conversation she'd had with her mother, trying to remember if she'd missed something about having her own handmaid, but it seemed as though they'd kept that from her until she'd had no choice but to deal with it for the past two months.

Secrets. Always with the secrets. Elsa sighed, realizing she'd been staring at the same sentence and reading it over and over. Another person in the castle meant there was another person she could hurt. So few knew her secret; was she supposed to tell Céleste? Had her mother? So far she'd avoided conversing too much with the other girl, but Céleste had proven to be stubborn in the pursuit of her duties. Elsa set the book down as she realized she risked damaging it, and rubbed her fingers into her palm as she brought her anxiety back under control with a familiar mantra.

She turned her head when the door creaked open, and she sunk further until her book fort concealed her. Elsa had become an expert at avoiding her sister when she was out of her room but it wasn't always perfect. An awkward conversation was not something she wanted to deal with today. The last time they'd talked, Elsa had come across Anna making a snowman in the gardens and had probably broken her heart. Again.

Footsteps approached, and she sunk deeper into her fort, leaning slightly to the left to try to see who it was. Raven-like black hair, beautiful amber eyes and light skin just a shade or two darker than Anna's, Céleste walked past Elsa's hiding spot without noticing her. Slowly, Elsa let out a breath, and quietly shifted to watch the girl. Every time she was around, Elsa had been forced to close herself off for her own protection, so she hadn't really been able to really focus on her or study her. Their interactions had been brief, too, though somehow they'd fallen into a simple routine helping Elsa into and out of her dress in the mornings and evenings. She hadn't frozen her through yet which may or may not have been a good sign, but maybe it was the mundaneness of it all.

Céleste was gorgeous, Elsa realized, watching the girl stretch up to try to reach a book on one of the shelves. Her dark hair was in a long braid that fell down to the center of her back, which meant when it was down it would go much further. It swayed to the side to reveal her neck and Elsa's pulse spiked. She dug her fingernails into her palms.

"Your Highness," Céleste called out, glancing in her direction with a smile that left Elsa feeling flustered and confused. The lilt of the accent from her native tongue wasn't helping matters either, "Is there a stool around, by any chance? I'm a bit too short to reach."

"No," Elsa said automatically, ice crystals forming underneath the desk. She needed to leave. Or make Céleste leave. What little control she had was slipping the longer she looked at her. In a clipped voice, she continued, "I'll ask Kai to bring one later." Get out Get out Get out!

"Thank you, Your Highness." To Elsa's horror, Céleste started to walk towards her, "Since I'm here, is there anything I can help you with?"

She looked so earnest, so honest, that Elsa felt guilt flood through her as though a dam had broken. Elsa thought of every time she pushed her sister away, of long hours alone in her room ignoring the knocks at her door and now here was someone else she was going to hurt. But it was to protect them. Always protect. "You can help me by leaving me alone."

Elsa couldn't hurt her friends if she didn't have any to begin with, right?

Céleste's smile faltered so quickly Elsa almost missed the change in her expression. She didn't miss that it took a little longer than usual for Céleste to respond nor that her voice was a little cooler, "Then I'll leave you to your reading, Your Highness."

Ice spread down the desk leg and Elsa jerked to her feet, "No. No, it's okay, I was … just leaving."

Darting around the desk, Elsa rushed through the door, hands clenched tight against her chest as if that would somehow keep everything in. She just needed to get to her room, to relative safety where she couldn't hurt anyone. As she reached the door of her room and touched the handle, she spotted Anna at her own door. Her sister looked at her, then stepped inside and shut the door behind her without even trying to say hello. Elsa barely made it inside before everything became too overwhelming and her room became a winter landscape.

❄️

Céleste stared at the door to the library, standing there for several minutes as she tried to figure out what had gone wrong. Elsa had seemed tense, stand-offish even by her usual standards and it felt like what little progress she'd made since that first day had been lost. Blinking a little dust out of her eyes, she turned to the desk, picking up the various books Elsa had left behind to put them away. There was a winter's chill in the air, but a quick glance told her the window was closed nice and tightly. Shrugging, Céleste looked through the books as she searched for where they belonged. Elsa had an affinity for geometry and other maths, and there was an astronomy book tucked between a book of Greek poetry and a French fairy tale. Each went where it belonged, and Céleste returned to the desk for one last book, some sort of adventure that was well read.

Curious, she flipped through it, then tucked it under her arm. She'd wanted something to read and maybe this could give her more insight into what made Elsa tick. Half way down the hall, she suddenly lost her balance, skidding on a slick patch of ice and catching herself on a curtain before she could fall and break her neck. Wide-eyed, she stared at the floor and the impossibility thereof.

"Céleste!" Kai rushed over, steadying her with one hand, "Are you all right?"

"I … oui." Céleste nodded, holding the book tight against her chest.

"I'm very sorry, we should have warned you. This castle can get quite drafty."

She stared at him for a moment, then glanced at the ice patch again. "I see. Merci." Loosening her grip on the book and straightening, she nodded at him, "I should put this book in my room and then see what help Gerda needs."

"Of course. I'll make sure this is taken care of to avoid any more unfortunate accidents."

Céleste nodded at him again, this time walking much more carefully on the way to her room. Once she'd put the book away, she walked back out, hesitating in front of Elsa's door. She could hear nothing, but one of those drafts Kai mentioned seemed to be coming from underneath the door. Lifting her hand, she stared at the door again before changing her mind.

Gerda kept her busy for the rest of the afternoon, which afforded her little time to think about what she'd seen or her near miss in breaking her neck. It was also a mercy in that she didn't have to think about Elsa all that much, either. But once she'd finished her last chore, she realized that the Princess hadn't come down for dinner. Not that this was unusual, in the two months she'd been in Arendelle she'd seen Elsa leave her room twice, one of which was the library today.

She poked her head into the kitchen, "Have the Princesses eaten yet?"

The tall, broad man at the oven straightened, "Anna ate, and I was about to send Elsa's supper up."

"I'll take it," Céleste offered. "I was going to head up with my own anyway."

"Can you carry both?"

Céleste feigned offense, "Easily."

Laughing, the Chef prepared her two bowls, which she picked up with an elaborate flair before walking carefully up the stairs. There was no light under Anna's door which meant the Princess was probably outside, perhaps in the stables. It also meant she and Elsa were alone in this area of the castle. Sighing, Céleste approached the door and gently knocked at it with her elbow, "Your Highness? I have your supper."

There was some movement, then the door pulled open slightly and Elsa's beautiful face appeared in the crack. She gazed at Céleste for a moment, then said, "Thank you."

"Of course." She swiveled to offer the larger helping to Elsa, who took it and then closed the door.

"I should have expected that," Céleste whispered, and turned to return to her room. But some feeling made her hesitate. She rapped on the door with her free hand and called out, "Are you okay, Your Highness?"

"I'm fine."

Céleste didn't believe her, not even a little bit. She tapped her chin as she considered what to do, and in her mind there wasn't really any sort of choice, "Even so, Your Highness, one should not have to eat alone. So I shall eat with you."

There was no response and she could imagine Elsa trying to puzzle out what Céleste meant. Carefully, she sat down in front of Elsa's door, and started to eat.