1. Steal all of his boxers.
> > >
Frank seemed more twitchy than usual… If that was possible. He shifted his weight from foot to foot when on duty and glared suspiciously out of the corners of his eyes. Whenever someone threw a glance his way, he would snap angrily at them:
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!"
The subject of his scream now happened to be two army captains, both who were suppressing sniggers at the way he was crossing his legs uncomfortably. Hawkeye spoke.
"Monthly physicals, Frank. Pants off."
"I had mine last week!" Frank retorted, still shirting uncomfortably.
"Your results were lost."
"You did it yourself. You know I'm fit."
"I do, but Trapper doesn't. You need two doctor's opinions."
"Fine. I'll have the colonel check me later."
"Why do tomorrow what you can do today?"
"We're in the middle of the compound!"
"It's new regulations… Officers get physicals in public in order to show the enlisted what to do."
"Aw… Common, Frank! Just do it now! It's not like you have anything to be ashamed of… You'll be in your boxers…" Trapper added, eager to get his two cents in.
The doctor seemed to have said the magic word, as the expression on Frank's face turned to one of pure horror. "It just so happens that I'm not wearing any!"
"You're not?" Hawkeye and Trapper asked simultaneously, both raising their eyebrows.
"Erm… I mean… It's not your business whether I'm wearing boxers or not!"
"You know, Frank… It's against regulations to go around without underwear…" Hawkeye said casually.
"Yeah… It's our duty to report this…" Trapper added.
"Perhaps to Henry…"
"Or General Clayton…"
"Or your wife…"
Frank took off in the other direction nervously biting his lips.
Hours later, in Margaret's tent
"Oh, Frank… How sexy…"
> > >
AN: TADA! I told you they would be short. Leave lots of reviews so I won't have to end this with Hawkeye and Trapper dying in order to prevent the book being finished!