2. Speak only in limericks.

> > >

"There once was a gypsy with a parrot,

Who played with her tarots,

She read her hand,

And told the man,

'It's your shift, Ferret!'"

Frank grumbled his annoyance and gave an even glare to the speaker. "In English?"

Trappers sighed before continuing.

"My patience is beginning to drop,

I might whack you with a mop,

Get out of bed,

Use your head,

It's your shift in Post-Op!"

The ferret-ish man sighed before getting to his feet. On his way out he murmured something about how, "The IRISH invented limericks".

"'I might whack you with a mop'?" Hawkeye, who had been lying on his cot sipping a martini during this exchange asked quizzically.

"You think of a line there!"

"Listen to me and stop." He replied without hesitation. Trapper grumbled something about how Hawkeye was to smart for his own good.

Hours later, in Margaret's tent

"Honeybunch…" Frank whined. "They just won't stop with the limericks!"

Margaret sighed. "Frank, what do you want me to do about it? The Colonel finds it amusing, so I can't go to him, and it's not important enough to get a general over here…"

"But Margaret…"

"Come here, poor baby." Hot Lips murmured, wrapping her arms around Frank. Honestly, of all the men she could have dated, she chose the whiniest one in the army.

"It's bad enough they treat the North Koreans, but now they quote the IRISH! I'm ashamed to call them Americans."

"FRANK!" Margaret squawked indignantly as she pushed the other major away. "I'M IRISH!"

"You are?" He asked with distaste before he could help it. Seeing the look on her face, he "attempted" to recover. "I'm sorry baby… It'll never happen again… I didn't-"

Margaret cut him off. "GET OUT! GET YOUR BIGOTED, MARRIED BUTT OUT OF MY TENT, FERRET-FACE!"

At the Swamp

"Why, hello there Frank,

What have we to thank,

For you to come,

Looking lonesome,

I assumeyour date stank!" Hawkeye called as Frank entered.

"Irish…" Frank replied angrily.

> > >

AN: I apologize for the bad limericks… I'm not talented! I don't have any of Frank's ideas about Irish true. I thought that that would be a good way to get him and Hot Lips fighting. Also, as you might already know, most of these will include a scene in Margaret's tent. Frank whining to Hot Lips is just so fucking funny! To my lovely reviewers:

Major-Baby: Thanks for reading! If I finish, there should be 103 chapters because of the prologue and the epilogue. That's a big "if", though!

Highmaintenance: Thank you very kindly for reviewing. I write to please! And I agree… This is very stupid.

Kooshball: That last line was a bit creepy, but I couldn't resist… It was so obvious to me! I won't start 101 Reasons I Deserve a Section Eight until this one is finished. That probably means it'll never go up, but, oh well. I did deserve to have me fics taken down, though. Both of them broke a ton of rules and I admit that they never should have gone up. Thanks for telling me what you think!