A Sorta Fairytale
Song by Tori Amos.
On
my way up North
Up
on the Ventura
I
pulled back the hood
And
I was talking to you
A few days ago I received an unmarked letter in the mail with only my name on it, Ashley. I recognized the handwriting instantly. And I knew he had to have been here at my place to drop it off seeing as neither address was given to denote a destination to the mail carrier. Inside was a concert ticket for this upcoming weekend and a note. The only thing the note said was "don't be late". Not even a signature. But he knew I would know it was him. I'm sure that he also knew that I would know why he didn't hand deliver it to me in person, and I do. He's testing me. He only went so far and now it's up to me to finish it.
And
I knew then it would be
A
Life Long thing
But
I didn't know that we
We
could break a silver lining
So here I am. Driving the several hours drive to the venue that he's playing at tonight. My job asked me to cover the show while I'm at it but I told them no, this is a personal trip. I had to make things right after our last meeting, and something told me that I shouldn't miss this opportunity.
Things
you said that day
Up
on the 101
The
girl had come undone
I
tried to downplay it
With
a bet about us
You
said that
You'd
take it
As
long as I could
I
could not erase it
The last time we had seen each other, we had a serious conversation that I must admit freaked me out. We both said some meaningful things and I think he was ready to start something again but I just kept running like I've done for the past seven or so years.
But in those years I've had time to do lots of thinking and exploring. And one thing I've realized is that I've never been happier than I am whenever I'm around him. I've figured out that there's a reason why we keep ending up back in the same spot. So I think that I'm finally ready to stop running away, and start running ahead to my future.
And
I ride along side
And
I rode along side
You
then
And
I rode along side
Till
you lost me there
In
the open road
And
I rode along side
Till
the honey spread
Itself
so thin
For
me to break your bread
For
me to take your word
I
had to steal it
We've had our ups and downs. Each having been on the giving and receiving side of pain and heartache. I think I ran so much because I was afraid of that, afraid that it was all we would amount to. But now I realize that the only reason we can hurt each other so much is because we love each other so much. Because it's worth it to risk your heart for someone that can make it so full. I think Craig must have known this all along but it took me a while to catch on.
I don't even regret the lost time because I know it helped us to grow into ourselves and become better for each other in the end. We've both had some failed relationships (if you can call them that) since then and got some great insight of what life would be like if we ended up choosing someone else. I know that none of the other guys even came close to him and I honestly don't believe that I loved any of them. I tried so hard at the time to convince myself otherwise but there's no faking that kind of thing.
I'm really close to my exit now and I start to wonder what I will say or do. But then I stop and recognize that that's part of my problem. I don't need to prepare some big speech or even the perfect words. I've already got three that should suffice. And something tells me no matter what I do, I won't be disappointed.
And
I'm so sad
Like
a good book
I
can't put this
Day
Back
A
sorta fairytale
With
you
I
could pick back up
Whenever
I feel