Amanda lay on a lounge chair on the Queen Ann Condominium's private beach basking in the warm sunlight when she felt the buzz of another Immortal. Without opening her eyes she slid her hand under her chair and grasped the hilt of her sword which she had covered with a thin layer of sand and waited. She didn't really feel threatened because there were several other Queen Ann residents also enjoying the warm afternoon.

Methos strolled down the path that led from the Queen Ann Condominiums to their private beach. He spied Amanda straight away, looking elegantly relaxed and headed toward her. He saw her hand slip under her chair and smiled. He approached her chair and positioned himself so that he cast a shadow across her.

"You're blocking my sun," she said coolly without opening her eyes. When the shadow didn't move and she got no response she raised her free hand to shield her eyes from the sun and looked up. Seeing it was Methos she smiled welcomingly.

"Well, hello, stranger," she said coyly. Methos only smiled at her. "You're still blocking my sun," she said and closed her eyes and lowered her hand.

"And now she lays claim to the sun," Methos said as he moved to her other side and sat on the side of the lounge next to her.

Amanda released the hilt of her sword and brought her arm back up to her side.

"I came by several times in the last couple of weeks," Methos said. "But no one's been home."

"Really?" Amanda turned her head to look at him surprised he'd been trying to get hold of her. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Does something have to be wrong for me to pay you a visit?" Methos asked.

"No," Amanda admitted. "I guess not."

"You know MacLeod's back in town," he announced.

Amanda closed her eyes and straightened her head back on the lounge pillow. "Goody for him," she said disgustedly.

Methos sighed. "OK. Why are you mad at him now?"

"It doesn't matter," she answered.

"I think it does."

"Think what you'd like," she said with an edge to her voice.

"Hey," Methos said softly and leaned forward. "This is me you're talking to. What's wrong?"

He had pushed too far and Amanda's emotions welled up inside of her. A tear escaped her closed eyelid and trickled down her cheek.

"Why is he back, Methos?" she asked her voice shaky.

"What do you mean, why? He's exhausted."

"He should still be looking for her," Amanda said fighting to keep her emotions under control. "He's given up hasn't he?"

"I don't know," Methos sighed. "It's been three years, Amanda. What if he has?"

Amanda sat up, swung her legs around so she was sitting on the edge of the lounge and facing him. She began collecting her things and glared into his eyes, then stood up and started to walk away.

Methos jumped up and grabbed her arm.

"For God's sake, Amanda," he said.

"What?" she whirled around to glare at him. "Why is he giving up on her? She wouldn't give up if the tables were turned."

Methos saw the deep pain in Amanda's eyes. "If she kept running into brick walls? That's what he spent the last three years doing. When does he get to say "enough is enough"? When does he allow himself to heal?"

Amanda jerked her arm out of his grasp and hissed, "Never! She's not dead. She's out there somewhere and she needs our help."

Methos sighed out of exasperation. "Amanda, I know what Caitlin meant to you."

"No you don't," she snarled. "How could you? You've never taken someone from infancy and taught them...watched them grow and shared yourself with them." Tears sprang to her eyes no matter how hard she fought them. "I held her life in my hands for five years. We shared everything," Amanda's voice cracked and tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

Methos tried to put his arms around her to comfort her but she pulled away trying to maintain her indignation and independence.

"She became more than just a student," she continued, the words gushing out of her. "She's my best friend. Do you know what it's like to have a best friend?" She stopped and shook her head. "No you probably don't," she grumbled.

Methos looked away, hurt. "I'm not a robot, Amanda. I have feelings."

Amanda snorted her doubt of his sincerity.

Methos remembered the camaraderie shared between himself and the Horsemen. He reflected on his present day relationships. If he were to use Amanda's definition of a best friend he would have to say that Joe Dawson and Duncan were as close as anyone could get to being his best friends. They knew him, knew his past and yet never stood in judgment. He trusted both of them with his life (probably MacLeod more than Dawson) and trust was practically foreign to him.

Amanda was still talking but Methos' mind had shut her out. He thought about Caitlin. He remembered the first time he met her. He had been unusually taken with her. Although she was only 5'4" tall, she had the spirit of a giant. Her spunky sense of humor, her smarmy nature and her take no prisoners attitude gained his admiration and respect. And she kept him laughing. She was tough as nails and extremely independent. Even her Irish stubbornness was endearing. Methos had to admit that he missed her. That her disappearance had definitely left a void in his heart.

Methos returned his attention to Amanda whose ranting seemed to be winding down. When she finished, he put a hand on each of her shoulders.

"I miss her, too, Amanda," he said softly. "She was very special to a lot of people."

Amanda tried to wrench free of his grasp.

"Was?" she yelled. "You talk about her in the past tense. She's not dead, Methos!" She said almost pleadingly. "She's not. I won't believe it. I'd know it if she were," she looked at him seriously. "We had that kind of connection. We always knew when the other one was in trouble. She's in trouble, yes. But she's not dead."

Methos decided that his belief that it was just wishful thinking on Amanda's part would be better left unsaid, so instead he said, "OK, I believe you, luv." He couldn't remember ever seeing Amanda this upset. Not even when Rebecca was killed.

"Unfortunately, we can't help her right now since we don't know where she is," he said. "But there is someone here that we can help."

Amanda shook her head "no", aware of whom he was referring to.

"MacLeod's in a bad way," Methos pushed. "He needs his friends right now."

"Then you and Joe do the friend thing," Amanda said as she used a corner of her beach towel to wipe her face. "I just can't."

"You've been his friend longer than we have," Methos continued trying to reason with her.

Amanda gathered her things up again and turned to walk away.

"I haven't got time, Methos," she said over her shoulder.

Methos caught up to her. "What do you mean, you haven't got time?" he asked.

"I'm going over there myself. I'm going to do what MacLeod should be doing," she said as she continued to walk up the access path toward the Queen Ann Condos.

"What makes you think you can get any farther than Mac did in three years?" Methos asked following her.

"I have my ways," she smirked and Methos could see the old Amanda starting to resurface. "He quit too soon," she said. "I won't quit until I find her."

"That's exactly what Mac said three years ago," Methos said more to himself than to her.

TO BE CONTINUED