"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" Alex asked seriously.
"Depends on the god," Thalia shrugged.
Percy responded just as seriously, "and the cheeseburger."
"He has a thing against those plant ones," Thalia stage whispered.
"Those black-bean ones aren't bad," he protested, "they're just a lie!"
"Moving on," Will chuckled.
"Poor Grover, I wonder if you smelt as bad as monsters by then," Will chuckled.
"Let's hope he doesn't start throwing tin cans at us if so," Percy nodded.
"Um, demigods still need to text with a phone, right?" Magnus asked, he'd believe almost anything at this point.
"Yes, you're about to see what those drachmas were for," was all Thalia would answer.
"I imagine people from out of town feel just as claustrophobic being in New York surrounded by buildings," Magnus said sympathetically.
'This realm is so strange, having a billion different types of cities that are barely held together and have little in common,' Hearth signed.
Magnus froze as he looked at him, for the first time wondering just how different his 'realm' was.
Will was fascinated at this idea, kids had a tendency to loiter and play and laugh wherever they fancied in the most randomest of places, but he was the only one naïve enough to think some cop wouldn't instantly accuse them of being drug dealers or something. Jason had no specific memories, of course, but he had a feeling he'd had a few unpleasant interactions with mortals and their idea of authority. Each of them had experience being chased off by the cops for some reason.
'How does this continue to get stranger every chapter?' Magnus asked. 'I keep expecting sentences like that to stop being weird.'
'You're not alone this time' Hearth assured, but he was more than excited to find out, he'd never want to leave if they kept talking about how they use magic.
The look of wonderment on many of their faces made Thalia feel like a proud parent showing off her world, her eyes lingered on Jason more than Percy as he grinned and looked from the book to the empty room as if hoping a rainbow would appear now so he could give it a try.
"Well when you put it like that it sounds ridiculous," Nico rolled his eyes.
"Says the guy who communicates all of his messages through silent stares," Will sighed, he was so hard to read. He'd known Nico for years and was still trying to pick apart any details he could to try and get to really know him. It helped nothing he'd never spent longer than a month at camp before he vanished, randomly reappearing and then repeat.
Nico answered him, with a stare. His lips were stiff, he seemed unpleased, but there was a bend in the quirk of an eyebrow as he also seemed to be wondering something too, before turning back away.
"How, nice," Thalia caught herself from saying convenient at the last second. She scolded herself for being paranoid, Annabeth hadn't been specific enough and Luke didn't have his fingers in everything!
What gods had been on who's side at this time though? Here she was, lying to Percy even if it was for a good reason, had the same thing been on Luke's mind, had he convinced himself they'd understand when it came out?
"Thalia," Percy asked quietly, "did you need that break?"
She gave him a weak smile. Percy wasn't dumb, he knew he didn't have the whole story and he already seemed to know Luke was connected somehow. She was nothing like Luke, she wasn't manipulating anybody. "No," she assured, "just hoping he's not up there to put out a fire or something, that could get awkward." She lightly fibbed and tried to laugh off.
Will smiled and played along, "oh, like the time Connor and Travis tried to build a bridge out in the forest for extra obstacles, ugh that was a disaster."
The others laughed and demanded details while Thalia smiled and said, "thanks though."
Percy glowered and decided he might not like Luke as much as his first impression had led him to believe. Stupid, sandy-haired, swordsman...
"It's nice we can all agree on some things," Will said cheerfully, so nobody but Thalia was quite sure why Nico tried so hard to suppress a laugh.
Nobody was laughing much now, the uncomfortable notion of the gods going to war with each other, the idea still a little to radical for some to wrap their heads around at all, and caused to many bad memories in those that recently had been in battle.
"I would pay all the Drachmas to sit in on that conversation instead," Percy said enthusiastically as he imagined her little stature telling someone like that off.
"If we could pick and chose what this book showed already we'd be at war with each other," Jason sighed.
Nico scowled as he thought for himself, 'Poor thing having to stay and sow dissent in the background.'
"So was everybody apparently!" Jason scoffed this still seemed the only real evidence.
"Did he just hope nobody would notice that little plot hole?" Will grumbled.
"Is he accusing Annabeth of something?" Magnus demanded in the closest thing to outrage any of them had yet seen.
"If he is then he's a bigger scumbag than whoever started all of this," Alex agreed with a scowl. She hadn't been very taken with the know-it-all girl, but Annabeth had been instrumentally helpful to a boy she clearly didn't like and obviously worshiped Luke more than her own mother. What a horrible thing to imply about someone he should know better of!
The Norse kids looked soothed at least, while Jason was still compiling it all in his head, of everyone who had been mentioned and even unnamed people who hadn't. He didn't really think it was Annabeth either, she'd done nothing to sabotage the quest though she'd had ample opportunity. To much was still unknown to him, the timing of it all bothered him more than anything. Where was the motive to steal that bolt now?
"Let's just say it's a good thing she didn't hear it," Thalia muttered.
"Random question, of no consequence I'm sure," Alex began pleasantly, "has she ever drawn that knife on a mortal?"
"I reserve the right not to answer that," Thalia grinned.
'And here I was thinking Grover's shoe had 'accidentally' come off,' Hearth grinned.
"Better than tripping you up," Nico said sardonically.
"I think I'm relieved," Magnus admitted, "I didn't feel like that was going to be helpful advice." Even if he hadn't done it on purpose, Luke had just annoyed him by even accidentally implying anything about Annabeth. Those shoes would have to save somebodies life to make up for it now.
"How is it every time I talk to him I feel worse," Percy said sourly, he felt like a jerk for even saying it, Luke had been nothing but helpful, but some part of him felt just the smallest relief he'd said it aloud even if Thalia called him one.
'Good intuition,' Thalia kept to herself. "I think I'll blame Grover, nobody's blamed anything on him yet," she instead laughed off.
"Right, yeah, that must be it," Percy smiled back. "Maybe he got in my head he's the only one allowed to give me advice."
"Charge people to watch, hell, you could make a mint if you let people start daring him to eat anything and payout big," Alex nodded.
"Maybe save that for plan B," Jason cautioned.
"Speaking of bets though," Magnus reminded, "they're in a burger joint! Final calls now for which god's going to show up and buy them a cheeseburger!"
"I think the only good option at this point is Pan there to scold us all," Percy sighed, "otherwise, this probably won't go well."
'Why do I get the feeling this guy isn't there to talk about healthy plant-based alternatives?' Hearth frowned.
'You never know, he could have a garden at home,' Magnus replied without hope.
'That he buries bodies in!' Hearth protested.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Will sighed as he awkwardly gestured to the book, "a god you will not question is a god." They'd only gotten a glimmer with Dionysius, Ares was going to be a real glimpse into the Olympians.
"They didn't order anything," Alex scowled. She wasn't even there and she was already annoyed with this guy!
"I'm guessing, not the god of cheeseburgers," Jason frowned. An idea was chafing at the edge of his mind, Percy's impertinence to a god of such importance, yet this seemed like nobody he'd ever want to worship.
Even Percy's own friends were watching him in concern why he still had his own head for mouthing off to a god like this! How had he survived this meeting, let alone to his own age?
They were all expecting it this time and still saw Jason spasm with frustration. Not right...they stole and distorted...destroyed-
Jason calmed himself with several deep breaths. Whatever Mars- err- Ares was to him was rooted to deep in his mind to get any clear idea on. He wanted, needed to get this horrible confusion out of his system, but the intense burning feeling for how this god was being shown to him was so backwards it only made his frustration at these constant lies grow and he retreated into his seat, scowling at nothing and refusing to look at anyone until the book continued.
This, in Nico's mind, finally trumped his very first time seeing Percy be the bravest person on the planet. He really never flinched from a single fight! Medusa, he suddenly remembered, the Chimera... and now he felt disoriented at how, unsteady he suddenly felt, sitting down even. Ugh, no wonder everyone thought he was a nutjob.
"Oh this will not go well," Alex said instantly, she'd never take a god asking her for anything, and this one was already as despicable in pleasure as Loki for how entitled he clearly was, waltzing in and interrupting their quest for his own problems!
'Steal something,' Hearth nervously reminded.
"A classic case of instigating, what a bully," even mercifully not being in the presence of him now, Percy could well remember the feeling he'd spent half his life under the influence of, between Gabe and the rich private-school pricks.
"A perfect way to overcome anger issues," Alex approved. "You must have had some good counselors."
"Some were better than others," Percy agreed.
Nico glowered at the book and for the first time wondered how a god would react to stygian iron being shoved up their-
"And Poseidon believed him!" Will rolled his eyes. "This guy? Man Perce, I'm sorry if this is the best advice your dad had on the situation."
"Honestly, me too," Percy nodded.
Nico was tapping the pommel of his sword and smiling at the two instead now, even if he would still like to test the theory eventually.
"So he's admitting it could be a frame-up," Magnus said, "please tell me he wasn't the only one offering up solutions."
"Wasn't there," Thalia reminded, "but I can't imagine it went very well regardless."
"Lies and deceit," Alex shook her head, "but I can't blame you."
'What could he have been sent off to do that makes a god of war nervous?' Hearth demanded.
'I should be asking you that so you can lie and say it's no big deal,' Magnus reminded.
"He wouldn't lie about something so important," Jason muttered and was still scowling at nothing as if the god were still lodged in his temple, creating an angry new pulse point sprouting right out of his head.
"You and me must have very different interactions with this guy then," Percy shrugged, he hadn't believed a word out of Ares's mouth.
"As opposed to all the good fortune they've been getting?" Alex protested.
"This is all pretty standard quest activity, believe it or not," Will sadly informed. "Ares could still make it worse."
"And this is the optimist speaking," Thalia sighed.
"No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it," Alex assented to that.
"Quoting Disney movies to help your case is a cheap shot," Percy sighed even if he didn't disagree with either of them.
Magnus was smiling tentatively at her and finally had an actual, coherent question he wanted to ask, maybe something resembling a conversation he could start about some of her other favorites, but she was already reading again and this really wasn't the time.
"I officially hate it when they look at each other!" Percy groaned.
Nico gave a soft laugh that no matter how much Percy said otherwise, he'd be leading the charge there and was probably about to perform some other history-making stunt. It was a water park, how could he do any wrong in there?
"There's a horror movie waiting to happen," Nico sounded curious about checking it out, he'd never been to one and loathed the idea of a crowded area, this seemed like a good middle ground.
"I'll go with you if you promise not to push me down one," Will sighed.
Nico gave him a bizarre look and Will flushed, wondering if he was being pushy and should just leave him alone. If he didn't want company and preferred to be alone then who was he to judge.
"Um, okay," Nico nodded but was still watching him like he was waiting for a trick of his own. Will was that nice to everybody, he reminded himself, he's not just taking pity on you.
"Gah!" Thalia looked revolted at the idea, "can you imagine the monster baby they'd have! Artemis would have to hunt that with her special bow!"
Jason finally exhaled like he'd been unnecessarily trying to hold his breath. Venus, his mind easily supplied, and Mars were off canoodling around Vulcan. Yes, that made sense, not everything had been lost to time by those-
The vicious thought ended there as he frowned at Thalia and all of the Greek kids, commanding his mind to pay attention and stop wandering off.
"Isn't there a goddess of marriage? Magnus asked in fascination. "That one with a flamingo-" Hearth finger spelled something, "sorry, peacock. Yet the gods still skip around on each other?"
"They have multiple mortal lovers, they aren't any more faithful to their immortal lovers," Will shrugged.
"Well now he's just showing off," Percy chuckled at his friend doing it with such confidence. This was the same kid who'd teared up in class if Nancy Bobofit looked at him for to long. Who knew all it took to gain a little confidence was some flying shoes and hitting Medusa with a stick. He really owed Luke a thanks when he got back, he reminded himself, and must just be feeling jealous about Annabeth's obvious crush.
"And she said you two couldn't get along," Alex approved, "I've never heard of a better team-building exercise."
Magnus bit his tongue to stop the ludicrous statement he'd help her through barbed wire before she threatened to strangle him with her garrote.
"I don't even know where to start," Jason was right back to being inquisitively curious and clearly mapping the whole place out in his head once more.
"I do," Thalia grinned at once as she imagined all the fun of that place. The hunters deserved a vacation when she got back too, and she was sure she could throw a few literal snapping turtles and alligators in to appease Artemis it wouldn't all be relaxing in the lazy river.
'Isn't a snow globe of a water park just the least bit weird?' Hearth frowned.
"That's what you found weird about all of this!" Magnus didn't even sign that he was so exasperated while his friend just shrugged.
"I'm sure that'll throw the police off if they catch up," Will tried his level best to say with a straight face.
"I know I'd hesitate if someone threw one of those flipflops at me," Nico wasn't even bothering to try the same and was snickering mirthlessly picturing Percy in an outfit like that, yet somehow he still looked so regal and perfect in the outlandish getup- he stopped so abruptly it should have been concerning as he straightened back up and only Will was still frowning at him for how spastic the poor guy kept acting over the lightest of topics.
Magnus spluttered in protest at such a horrible mental image, more concerned than anything this seemed casual news to everyone except his own friend who was now fidgeting with the ends of his scarf once more and seemed as distressed as him.
"Why do I have an even worse feeling than one page ago now?" Thalia sighed.
"Good instincts," Percy groaned, he didn't need his gut to tell him he should smack his own head for saying such a thing!
"I'm going to knock both of your heads together," Alex joined in on how not helpful that advice was.
"Hey, he has horns!" Percy protested.
"And you keep telling us to stop tempting the fates," Magnus backed her up.
Percy just crossed his arms but sighed in defeat.
"Somebody, like?" Jason asked dubiously.
"All of Olympus apparently," Thalia chuckled.
"I take it back," Will was shaking with laughter now, "I want a copy of this book framed, let the god's wrath reign on me!"
"Me and her will sign it and everything," Percy said with no regrets as he gave his empty hand a squeeze where he wished her fingers were. He thought for the first time how lucky he was, getting to fall in love twice.
Que eight collective snorts of amusement around the room, finally something they could all agree on.
'How much do you think she knows about love magic?' Hearth asked with extreme interest.
'Enough I'd be worried about the next thing she gave Percy,' he chuckled back.
"You guys are getting slightly better with every catastrophe," Thalia sighed, "now you know it's a trap right before it's sprung rather than figuring it out during it happening!"
"I've always taken whatever improvement I can," Percy shrugged.
"And I thought Annabeth was the smart one," Will smirked.
"So that's why she's the smart one," Alex cackled.
"If that is the worst thing that happens I'd call it a good day," Will shrugged, it at least explained Ares's part in all this.
Jason wasn't so sure he agreed, he shifted uneasily at the idea of being the laughing stock of onlookers. Mars shouldn't be put into that kind of position either.
Thalia cussed in ancient greek and Magnus jumped free of his seat in pure concern to run to her now and help even before he heard the problem. Percy's empty hand was now clenched into a fist as he watched Alex's every twitch of the lips like he was trying to read for her.
Everybody else was wincing now as they understood. The poor girl clearly had a thing against arachnids and should not be subjected to them spontaneously popping up.
"Percy for the win of astute observations this chapter," Thalia groaned, no wonder her sister had never mentioned this particular adventure, she had no clue how they'd gotten out of this one and was resisting the urge to start smacking Percy to get on it if he wasn't wringing his hands with so much worry, she was getting concerned he'd start flinging the ocean about- wait. They were in a water park!
Alex hadn't hesitated to see the scrutinizing look Thalia was giving her friend or much of anything, she was reading with complete concentration even over Magnus's burning gaze. At least now she knew a Halloween prank she would never pull on Annabeth.
"I've never had a book give an actual countdown for me before, usually I'm just doing that in my head," Jason sighed in relief.
"It's not over yet," Magnus cautiously lowered himself back into his seat even as he kept scrutinizing the book, he wanted to hear of his cousin back to chastising Percy or something to know she was okay after that sort of panic attack, very early childhood memories of her screaming like that over a spider in the park had convinced his mom early on not to take them outside to play much when she was over.
Thalia managed a genuine laugh again at least as she imagined Annabeth blushing scarlet to chase away her pale face, this scene playing out for all of them to watch. She and Percy got that Thrill Ride of Love after all.
"That honestly sounds like the best tunnel of love ride ever," Will chuckled.
"I'd be happy to send anybody else crazy enough down there," Percy promised, "but please don't be getting ideas of putting this in camp."
"Where's your fun side gone Perce!" Will couldn't stop grinning at him.
"Safe in Denver," Percy reminded.
"I really wish that wasn't such a common thing with you," Jason muttered. They were only on the first book and this guy seemed to be made up of nothing but crazy ideas and killer monsters on his tail.
"Look at you two cooperating, this is obviously destiny," Magnus sighed and relaxed back in his seat in pure relief again she was definitely okay.
"I take it back, I get to blackout some passages before Annabeth signs this," Percy theatrically sighed.
"Not a chance," Will's smirk increased.
Nico was enthralled by hearing of all this. Even in Annabeth's wisdom, her mistakes meant just as many mess-ups. Percy hadn't the perfect solution and saved the day single-handed, he had no doubts who was about to swoop in and save them. He swallowed as he watched his idol lounge back comfortably in his seat now, adjusting finally to the disorienting feeling of his pedestal getting some cracks in it. That Percy was just, normal.
"Number one I'm positive, you'll have a dozen seasons in no time," Alex nodded seriously.
"Action, adventure, comedy, even a stupid love triangle, you'll be raking in the views," Will mocked along.
"Who's in the triangle?" Nico looked at him oddly, the back of his neck feeling unreasonably hot, oh gods, was he that obvious? Just because Percy was normal didn't mean he had a chance against a ship that had long since sailed.
"You don't think Grover's got a shot with either of them?" Will gave him an exaggerated mock pout, "I was rooting for it!"
"Moving on," Thalia cut in with an exasperated laugh.
"It won't stay little for long," Alex said with confidence, imagining the yelling Percy could hopefully get out of his system as she passed the book along to him.