A/N: Hey peeps! Thank you for your reviews. I'd do a smiley but it doesn't work.Damn this format...!
I'm glad you like the story.
And to Doug: Ribbing?
?tey ynnuf ti Is Halb halb halb. Uoy esufnoc ot siht gniod tsuj m'I
The Hotel was odd, and this pond was a secret, which I'll now overshadow. Then the Brattylaires decided to look up, because that usually helps.
"C'mere, Bratty—er, Baudelaires!" Kit motioned.
"How did this picnic get here?" Violet asked before sitting down.
"It's never really explained. And technically we're supposed to leave one out for the next volunteer, but whatever. It's not important to the story," Almighty Know-All Klaus said knowledgeably.
Sunny shrugged. Violet shrugged. The story continued.
"Since our initials are here, perhaps someone's stalking us…" Klaus mused. "But no matter. This possibility has also flown out the window, along with everything else that made sense in this story." Sunny nodded knowingly. "And someone knew we were going to be here, but they completely ignore us for the rest of the story…" Klaus shrugged again, which had to be the millionth time in this story.
"You look like your father. I'll now say things that prove I'm good and pretend to answer your questions while actually just make everything more complicated and give you impossible instructions for a baby and two teenagers, but since you've survived everything that's been thrown at you which makes you really lucky children, so the name is a lie, and—" Suddenly Kit burst into tears for no apparent reason, astounding the children. They asked her what was wrong, and she responded, "Someone who mysteriously has the initials that everyone else has is posing as my dead brother, Jacques Snicket. Or it could be a good person or—I don't know," she cried, sounding even more distraught. "Now do this, do this, do this, and do this. And don't do this. Make sure not to do this, because it'll all be ruined." A fresh batch of tears burst from Kit's eyes, and the Baudelaires became very worried and scared of a woman who cried for no apparent reason. "It will be ruined!" She sobbed. "It must be ruined! I mean, er, it will be ruined, I'm positive! But you must try, though I just told you you can't! Solve every one of VFD's problems, Baudelaires. You must. It just becomes your automatic duty because you are three vulnerable children being stalked by a horrible villain. Now, Frank is good, Ernest is bad. The trick is they're identical. Go solve it, Baudelaires!" She ushered them away to change and settled into a nice lawn chair and next to her magically appeared an ice cold glass of lemonade. "Ah," she sighed. "The magic of a summer's day.
I apologize, for the very short chapter, but most of it was Kit talking anyway. The next chapter will be better. But I need five reviews for it. ;) God, I hate when people do that. Ah well.
For those lazy people, here is it forwards:
I'm just doing this to confuse you. Blah blah blah. Is it funny yet?
Luv, Me.