"Alright. Before we start talking, we actually need to talk," As soon as Birkhoff, Michael, and Nikita joined Alex and Ryan in the office, Alex ordered the team. Her phrasing earned her strange looks while everyone took seats around the table; however, she stood her ground. They weren't going to address whatever Ryan wanted to tell them until after they cleared the air between them. If they didn't talk about their problems, they were going to fall to pieces. The team had to do better than that. It was the only way they could survive, "Keeping secrets almost got us all killed. Several times now. We need to communicate."
"That's very mature of you," Birkhoff couldn't stop himself from commenting. Although the team knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they had to talk, it was difficult to actually start a conversation. Making quips, taunting each other, and joking around was always easier for them. Possibly because they didn't have to own up to their faults and difficult problems that way. They could keep things light between them while everything else in their lives was dramatic and hellish. Unfortunately, that strategy couldn't sustain them for long. Not communicating was their fatal flaw. If the team didn't talk soon, they were done for.
"Talking saved mine and Sean's relationship countless times. It'd save us too," Alex defended her decision easily. If she and Sean had never talked about the problems that had arisen between them, they wouldn't have been where they were then. They wouldn't have been in a happy, secure, healthy relationship. They wouldn't have been thinking about their futures together. And they certainly wouldn't have been able to survive all the horrible things that had been thrown their way. Actually communicating was the best lifesaver they had.
No one could argue with Alex. What had happened in Kosovo was just one more tragic example of why they couldn't keep secrets. They always said that they wanted to keep each other safe. The only way to do that was to talk. And to apologize. Sighing, Nikita knew she had to be the first to open up, "I'll start. I'm sorry for running off to Kosovo alone. I'm sorry for keeping all that information to myself and making decisions without you guys. Especially you, Michael. And I'm sorry I've been so distant. I didn't want to hurt anyone again. I thought I could protect all of you. By doing everything alone, I thought only I would get hurt. I was wrong. I'm sorry."
The others simply nodded at Nikita's explanation and apology. When she had disappeared to Kosovo alone, they assumed that some of her motivations were to protect them- as misguided as that was. An apology was a great way for her to make up for that. However, she needed to act differently as they moved forward. She needed to realize that they were just as capable as she was. They could take care of themselves in and out of the field. As long as they knew everything she did, the team would be safe. No one else would be hurt.
Although the team would have to continue talking about Nikita's actions, especially the married couple, they could move on for the moment. Others also needed to make confessions. Sean was still helping his sister with her kids, yet Alex could speak for the both of them. They had the same regrets and problems regarding Division. Discussing them with the team should help the two resolve them, "Both Sean and I are sorry for constantly being away. We're trying to help you and keep our lives intact, and it's not really working. We need a better way to make it all work. Though, with Sean shipping out soon, it might be harder."
"Where's he deploying?" Michael instantly asked. Alex had said more important things than that, yet he was curious about where the Seals could've been heading. Alex only shrugged, however. Although she and Sean had been talking about what his deployment would mean for them and the team, he didn't share a lot of information with her about it. Either he didn't know, he had been ordered to keep it a secret, or he was trying to protect her. She believed it was some sort of mixture of all three. It probably wasn't worth digging into. It'd save her a lot of anxiety if she only knew the basics. And God knew she had enough anxiety as it was.
"Sorry. I'm also sorry for just drifting along and not fighting for anything. We should all be fighting, even for the little things," Seeing how stressed the topic made Alex, Michael apologized. He also apologized for his other actions recently. When Nikita was pulling away, he should've put more effort into chasing her. The fact that they had been hurting wasn't a good excuse for his lack of action. He should've continued to fight for what was right. The whole team should've. There was no reason for any of them to quit.
Grabbing her husband's hand, Nikita silently reassured him. None of the recent horrific events were on him, yet that was a topic they should discuss at home. They needed to continue their conversation from Medical once they were somewhere private. The two needed to keep talking to repair the damage to their relationship. Alex had been right- talking was the saving grace of everything. Which was why the married couple could wait to focus on each other for a moment, and focus on their team instead. They all needed help. After all, Birkhoff and Ryan also had a strained relationship, "You finally going to explain what's going on between you two?"
"How'd it go with the boss lady?" Turning to Ryan, Birkhoff asked. It was an obvious deflection of Nikita's question, yet he didn't care. He didn't want to share what had happened between them all those months ago. He knew it'd ruin how the team would think of Ryan, and he didn't want to ruin friendships. Yes, Alex had suggested that they all talk so that didn't happen. However, sometimes sharing everything wasn't good for them. There was a reason secrets existed. There were times when that was the safer and better option.
"She was pleased with the operation in Kosovo. No one suggested liquidating our assets even once," Ryan flashed an easy and genuine smile. While the team traveled back from Kosovo, he informed the President of their success. He let the cover story they had created do most of the work. The less he said, the less he incriminated Division. They were clear to live another day taking out their rogue elements and trying to locate Amanda. Hopefully, the team could accomplish those tasks before more trouble arrived. Ryan had a feeling that that would be coming soon. They were simply lucky enough to have a reprieve at the moment.
"That's good news, right?" Rather than get on Ryan and Birkhoff for dodging the conversation, Alex became concerned about what the President told Ryan. Usually when the two talked, Division was a breath away from being completely wiped out. What they had done in Kosovo, even with their cover story, was more than enough cause to kill them all. Their actions were going to catch up to them; the President would discover what they did eventually. Though, if she didn't threaten them, maybe the team could stay in the clear. They could keep operating business as usual, until the next disaster struck.
"What else did she say?" While they were on the topic, Michael might as well ask. After all, Ryan had requested the team meet in his office to talk about something. Apologizing and sharing their problems was solely Alex's idea. Ryan had something else important to share. Michael hoped that there wasn't any blowback from Kosovo. The kids on Heidecker's plane who were meant to be test subjects were already the worst thing to come from the mission. The team couldn't suffer any more shocks. They needed good news again.
Ryan sighed. If he was being more precise, he had actually talked to the President's chief of national security, Danforth. He had been the one to relay the President's messages to Ryan. He also gave him files for Division to look at. With some hesitation, Ryan pulled the four thick blue files out of his desk. The team stood at the sight of them. Whatever information they held, the team could already sense that they weren't good. Ryan tried to make the files seem positive. But even he was unsure, "She was so impressed that she asked us to look into a few other matters."
Immediately, Birkhoff shook his head. While Nikita, Michael, and Alex stared at the blue files in a strange mixture of shock and interest, the hacker was quick to shoot down the idea. Division was only open so they could clean it up and shut it down. They weren't supposed to perform any missions besides Dirty Thirty one's- Nikita's personal mission to Kosovo shouldn't have even happened. They couldn't be sucked in for more. No way, "Alright, hold on. We all agreed that there wouldn't be any government missions. We'd find these rogue agents and then we'd shut this place down. Strictly clean-up duty, with a real hard expiration date."
"What do we do?" Alex searched the others for answers. Obviously, Division shouldn't perform the missions in the President's files. They weren't a weapon for the government anymore. They were meant to be free once the rogue elements were taken care of. No one should be controlling them. That being said, if they didn't do what the President asked, they might suffer severe repercussions. They were almost obliterated after making too much noise in Hong Kong. what would happen if they refused a direct order.
"I mean, I feel like I've done enough," Nikita backed away from the blue files. She could admit that she was at fault for a lot of the problems Division ran into. She had caused all that noise on their first Dirty Thirty op in Hong Kong. She kept leading the team on dangerous, risky missions that put them on far too many radars. She was the reason Amanda had painted targets on their backs. And she was the only one to blame for the situation in Kosovo. Nikita couldn't run off and cause more problems. She needed to focus on what Division was supposed to be doing. Those blue files definitely weren't it. They'd only lead to more problems.
"It's four files. We take care of them, maybe that's the end of it," Again, Ryan attempted to make it seem positive. Taking out corruption was one good thing that Division had done. They have been continuing that with some Dirty Thirties and with Bechiraj. What if they did four more. They could ignore the fact that they were government ordered. The team would be able to save people; they could bury terrible people. That was a good thing. Who knew, maybe they could get their pardons early if they completed the President's missions. Division could be rewarded for being terrific agents. For once, they wouldn't have to suffer.
"No, not the end. This is how it begins," Shaking her head, Nikita argued. Those files could grow exponentially if they did everything the President asked. Division would fall back to old, horrific habits if they became the government's tool once more. They couldn't be the expendable agents that went in when everyone else failed. They were their own people with their own agency. They were doing things their way, not anyone else's. Those blue files had to be burned with everything else in Division.
Michael, Alex, and Birkhoff agreed with Nikita. Those files were Pandora's box. Opening them would only lead to more pain and trouble. Division had to focus on the many issues that were already in front of them. There were still Dirty Thirties out there. And Amanda continued to wreak havoc. The government's problems were nothing compared to theirs. After all, even though they were trying to fix it, the team was still shitty about communication. Birkhoff and Ryan hadn't addressed their problem, for which Michael called them out, "And it's going to get worse if you two don't tell us what happened between you."
Birkhoff and Ryan exchanged a look. Whereas Ryan was guilt stricken, Birkhoff was livid. That wasn't information for the hacker to share. The head of Division had to confess to how shitty he had become. He did feel terrible for what he had done; that was at least a start. But there was so much Ryan had to make up for. He held far too many secrets from the team. The worst wasn't even when he hid the President's threat of cancellation. What he had tried to do to Michael and Nikita was far more deceitful, "I ordered Birkhoff to keep something secret. I was completely in the wrong, and I'm sorry for that."
"What secret?" Nikita had a feeling she already knew what Birkhoff had been asked to hide. He and Ryan had been on the outs since the failed mission to kill Amanda; specifically, their relationship had been strained since she was rushed to Medical after killing the mole and saving Sonya. Whatever conversation that had ruined their relationship had occurred then. Nikita wanted to believe it was something Division related. Maybe there was another threat leveled against them that Ryan didn't want escaping- it'd freak them out too much. But if that was truly the case, it would have been revealed already. He had wanted something much worse hidden.
"He wanted me to wait to tell Mikey about the miscarriage," Birkhoff confirmed Nikita's suspicion with a hint of lingering anger in his voice. Despite the months that had passed, he still wasn't okay with the decision. And as he found out about it, Michael wasn't okay either. A quick flash of anger overcame him. He stormed across the room and punched Ryan in the face. While he recoiled from the powerful hit, the rest of the team's jaws dropped in surprise. Michael ignored their reactions. He just turned on his heel and left the office.
"Sorry," Quickly, Nikita apologized for her husband and chased after him. She hoped to catch up to him and soothe his anger. She was mad at Ryan as well, but a part of her could see his rationality- at least enough to not punch him too. Michael needed to calm down so he could return to the office and the team could keep talking. Though, that ship had already sailed. After the married couple ran off, Alex left Ryan too. She couldn't look at him at the moment. Only he and Birkhoff were left, staring at the four files and wondering what came next.