TPPCH8

BYDS

AN: Here lyeth parody the 8th of TPP. Get it got it good.

Dsclmr: See other chptrs.

Lemony/Daniel: Look! I'm not a fuckin' dictionary! If they want the definition of "denouement" they can look it up!

Editor: That's your job, Lemaniel.

Lemaniel: Eh, fuck off!

Editor: Oh hello, gentle reader. I will write this part, seeing as it is straight out of the dictionary. Shh! Don't tell HarperCollins.

Denouement

1.

The final resolution or clarification of a dramatic or narrative plot.

The events following the climax of a drama or novel in which such a resolution or clarification takes place.

2. The outcome of a sequence of events; the end result.

curtain up

Anyway, so the denouement of Snow White is this, and this is that, and that is up, but don't tell down. On with the story, shall we?
"No!"

"Shuuuut uuup!"

The man before them suddenly made his eyes large and spooky. "Bau-de-laires. We're all alone. In the dark."
Klaus glanced around nervously. "So?" The man burst into laughter, as his face rapidly turned red.

"I's just messing withya!" The man's eyes filled with tears. "Wasn't that funny!" Suddenly he stopped laughing and stood up straight. "By the way, I'm totally good." He winked at them kindly. "Anyway, I'm suuuure you wanna know who I am, dontcha dontcha dontcha?"
Somewhere in the wilderness, a lone voice was heard: "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Dontcha?"
By now the story was down on its knees, begging for mercy. The god of Chaos merely laughed.

"I'm Dewey Denouement!" The man said with a flourish. The kids were silent. "Anyone? Anyone? No? Remember—Oprah—Jerry Springer—most—don't you guys watch that?" The kids shook their heads dumbfoundedly.

"Who's Orpah?" Sunny asked, admiring her eight-inch heels. Dewey put his head in his hands. "You've gotta be kidding. You know what? No. That—that doesn't matter, because we're trying to do a story here, am I right? Thought so. Okay."

Anyway, let's skip the boring parts—Aha!
Dewey was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong again. Like the clock. Whooooa. Coincidences only happen twice in a lifetime, yo.

At the right moment to "get this story started on a Saturday night (pelvic thrust, pelvic thrust)" two people with the same initials came out of a taxi. JS female and JS male.

"Hello JS female and JS male! Whatever are you doing here?" asked Violet a la children in old movies.

"Since now there's no way to go back," JS male said, "We're both very sorry about being horrible guardians.

"No problem!" Violet said. "Though that's probably why we're here, among other things." She smiled and the others frowned.

"Violet…the bubble-buster…" JS female muttered to JS male.

"Aaaanyway," the once-silent Dewey said brightly. "Oh, yes, they are actually good despite all their big big big faults." They saluted him.

"So everything is A-OK!" The JS's said in unison.

Klaus cleared his throat to beg to differ, but thought better of it. "See you in the morning, Baudelaires!" JS's said, and skipped away, leaving the Baudelaires to roll their eyes.

The clock rang. "WRONG! GODDAMN IT, I FUCKING HATE THIS JOB!" It repeated this a few times.

"What a shitty book." Sunny said, and skulked off, closely followed by her siblings and fellow volunteer.

Done. Weird chapter, dontcha think? Review review review. And I said that three times for a reason. ;)

Grace