A/N: Wow, it's been a while. Wish I could say my computer broke down or something, but I've just been too lazy to get off my ASS! (Which, coincidentally, I'm sitting on right now. ) So, hence, the chapter begins:

CHAPTER 11

"Here you go," Frernest said merrily. "The perfect place to relax before you go into the trial of your life—between you and your mortal enemy, the man who might kill you any second and has tried for who knows how long; one of the most evil men this world has ever seen—but, the upside is, you get a perfect relaxation area before you go—this broom closet!"

He opened the door and threw them in, cackling. "Who was that?" Klaus asked, as if that really mattered right now.

Violet scratched her head, which didn't have much room with three full-grown (ahem) two fullgrown and one baby in the small closet. "I don't know, but I think this is very important to the story."

"Shhh," Roger said, poking his head into the closet from wherever he is, and spraying them with spit a la pre-"Your Eyes." "I know."
"I should tell you," Klaus sang, holding Roger's hand.

"I should tell you," Roger crooned.

"I love—" and Klaus collapsed onto Violet, who was sputtering. Roger cried, "Klaus-yyyyyyyyyy!" and then disappeared as fast as he had come.

So, hence, when the trial began, Frernest and Ernank had to drag Klaus out UNFATHOMABLY, while Violet and Sunny walked—ahem, walked and crawled behind.

Justice Strauss approached them, and gave the three blindfolds. Well, two. Klaus was laying on the floor twitching hysterically, but they ignored him, because who cares about a brunet 13-year-old geek with blush on?

"Why do we have these on?" Violet asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Justice Strauss asked, filing her nails a la Violet in a previous chapter. "We have to put them on because justice—" she gestured wildly with her hands in an oddly Italian way—"is blind. By the way, did you see my fellow judges before you put the blindfolds on?" she asked them anxious—nervous—anxiously.

"Uh, no." Violet's eyebrows furrowed. "Should we have?"

"Hahahahahahahahahaha………..no." She then stalked away back to her bench. "So—who knows about these orphans?" she banged her gavel.

"I do!" came from all across the room. One sounded oddly like Roger, another like Britney Spears, and yet another like Humpty Dumpty.

"Order! Order!" She banged her gavel yet again. "You. The egg. What've you got to share with us?"
"W-well, Sunny and I went out a few times in high sch—preschool," he added hastily, "and—she, she—"

"YOU!" Sunny shrieked from across the room, and pointed in a certain direction, which happened to be the wall.

"A little to the left, honey," came Justice Strauss's voice. She adjusted her finger. "No, to the right. Just—no, stay right there. Right. Please continue, Mr. Dumpty."

"Well—she couldn't put me back together again!" and at this the fat egg burst into tears.

"Sunny is king's horses and men!" asked a voice that no Baudelaire could recognize.

"Mais oui!" came another voice which sounded like Fleur Delacour.

"You have no idea," drawled a Southern voice.

"ORDER!" came a hoarse voice near Justice Strauss. At this, a high-pitched scream came from next to Violet.

"AAAH! c'est l'homme avec une barbe mais aucuns cheveux! es ist der Mann mit einem Bart aber keinem Haar! es el hombre con una barba pero ningún pelo!" Sunny cried.

"Aah," sighed Ford Prefect from across the room. "The Babelfish. A simple yet wonderful creature."

50 Cent banged through the door and shot Mos Def, and then Douglas Adams rolled over in his grave.

"Can we please get on with the chapter?" asked Tim Curry, dressed in his Rocky Horror Picture Show outfit, which was the complete opposite of how he was acting. We just got him in because he has a British accent and is therefore dignified.

"Fiiine," whined Strauss.

"If we must."

"I submit this!" "I submit that!" "I submit—HEYYYYYYY MACARENA!"
Because sanity is very scarce in this story, we suddenly had to break into song and dance, ie. THE MACARENA! (The UNFATHOMABLE MACARENA starring Ernest and Frank Denouement.)

Guess what? I'm sick of this chapter. Let's just have the Baudelaires discover the judges and—

ANNOYING ALWAYS RIGHT PERSON IN AUDIENCE: Didn't that just happen?

ME: Where?
AARPIA: Well, when Sunny was talking in all different languages a few paragraphs up. That was her saying "It's the man with a beard but no hair."
ME: Aah right. Anyway—

Discover the judges and add a few more analogies, long paragraphs, page-long lists, and we'll call it a chapter, all right? Good night, folks.

Sorry for the shitty chapter. I'll try and do better next time. Aw, it's so sad. Only two chapters left. This story's been really fun to write. Anyway, review and I may just answer you guys this time! That is, if I get a lot of reviews! Later!