Title: Attack of the Birdy
Author: Lady Valmar
Genre: Humor (Drabble)
Rating: K
Archive: FF, SGAHC
Spoilers: Set in Season 2 (eps Duet, Runner etc)
Date: 05-12-06
Summary: A peaceful day on Atlantis and our favorite couple 'Carson and Laura' are out on the balcony eating a mid-morning breakfast. Then a bird shows up and ruins their breakfast...aside from Rodney, Zelenka, Ronon...
Inspiration: I was bored at school.
Warnings: Not to be taken seriously! Don't like it then don't read it kay people just so we are clear on this. (may be a bit out of character but yeah...I'm not my usual self...)
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters, So stuff not owned by Stargate Atlantis is mine and therefore please ask and do not infringe nor steal my original themes, concepts, ideas or characters please.
... .LV. ...
Attack of the Birdy
By Lady Valmar
It was midmorning on Atlantis and quietly in the mess hall personnel sat and ate. Two of their number proceeded to the outside balcony to eat their breakfast with a view. One being Dr. Beckett and his girlfriend Cadman. Setting up a small blanket and with a basket brought along with some extra tidbits the two clamered down to eat their breakfast and chat. It was than that the evil thing appeared. It's beady, blood-thristy eyes set on one thing and one thing alone. Food!
As Laura said something funny, Carson turned at the sound of soft chirping nearby. He could seea small bird, the coloring of starling only in blue with a long beak. It cocked its head before pooping once.
Carson stared. "Well that was lovely."
"What was...?" asked Laura, as she reached down for her cup of slightly "more" than just orange juice. Considering it wasn't a weekday and today was her day off, Laura had no problem with a mid-morning dash.
"Owww look Carson. A birdy. Its so cute!" squealed Cadman, her eyes lighting up at the little bird sitting on the railing.
Carsonwatched as the bird squawked and hopped up and down. "Yeah he is kind of cute isn't he."
"Do you have any bread?" asked Cadman, searching the wicker basket Carson had brought along for their mid-morning breakfast.
"I think so. There should be some in the left corner…"
"Here?"
"No, the other left corner. Yup that's it," said Carson, smiling at Laura.
"Come here little birdie…come here…"
The bird squawked a couple of times and bobbed its head.
"I think it wants the food brought to it," said a rude voice from the doorway. It was Rodney.
-Zing -Warning flash -
Never feed strange birds...you might never know what they will do!
-Zap - End of flash-
"Rodney?" said Carson, his smile fading.
"Well Rodney why don't you try and feed it then?" asked Cadman, shoving the bread piece into Rodney's hand.
"Ah…no…I…it might…"
"It might…what Rodney?" asked Carson.
"Fine! I will then!" said Rodney walking over to the bird quickly.
The bird squawked a couple of times as Rodney edged closer to shove the bread in its face. Apparently the bird didn't like it and suddenly flew away.
-Zing -Warning flash -
If you do decide to feed the "birdy" I suggest being gentle and cautious...again they are unpredictable.
-Zap - End of flash-
"Oh! You scared it off!" said Cadman, snapping her fingers.
"yeah so….ahhhhhhh!" screamed Rodney, as the bird suddenly zoomed at him.
Both Beckett and Cadman began to laugh and quickly raced for the door as the bird turned on them. All three jerked on the door when it wouldn't open and began to bang on it as the bird pecked at Rodney's head than Carson's.
"Open up!" they shouted.
Ronon leaned against the column near the door, "Don't you think you should let them out?"
"Nah…a little longer," smiled Radek, holding the tablet in his left hand.
Suddenly the bird squawked loudly and dived into the door, aiming for Radek.
Everybody jumped.
"Oh my…okay I'll let you in…" said Radek.
Ronon began to laugh.
Zing -Warning flash -
Playing tricks on your co-workers is all fun and games until you end up stuck with their problem or problems because of your pranks. So be wise in what you do.
-Zap - End of flash-
"Are you sure Elizabeth? This is a very important deal and I don't think we should rush this," said Sheppard, his arms out.
"I agre…"
Dr. Weir's com beeped suddenly. "Yes?"
"Ma'am we have a problem…SQUAWK!"
"What kind of problem?"
Sheppard sat up straighter his eyebrows raised.
"A ahh…bird kind…SQUAWK….AH GET IT OFF OF ME! SQUAWK!"
"Was that Rodney's voice in the background?" asked Sheppard.
"It appears so…"
Racing down to the hall where the incident had been reported, Sheppard ducked as someone threw a shoe at him. "Hey!"
"Oops...sorry Colonel," said a sargent, her face blushing slightly.
"What the...?"
Zing -Warning flash -
Never throw inanimate objects at birds. It's just animal cruetly and you could get injured...if you miss and hit a human. ...Course you could get hurt too if you hit the bird...it might not like shoes' hitting it.
-Zap - End of flash-
Sheppard watched as the bird dove down and everybody ducked. Next the bird dove at Rodney and squawked loudly. Than it dove for the very same sargent who had thrown her shoe at Sheppard. Finally the bird saw him and dove straight for him. Sheppard crouched down in a defensive gesture as the bird barreled through the air at him. Thankfully, the bird didn't get its chance. As Sheppard ducked, Ronon stunned the bird with his gun.
Shouts of "Oh thank god!" and "Your my hero" were shouted.
Zing -Warning flash -
Never think for one moment that just because something works reliably all the time, it won't become unreliable at least once in a lifetime. Stunners being on that list...
-Zap - End of flash-
'And so...the people of the mess hall and our heros were saved yet again by some miracle of luck and a stun gun'
"HELP ME...OH GET IT OFF ME!"
'ah...maybe not then...like I said stun guns only work to a certain extent. Guess the bird is a lot strongerthan they all thought ay?' wink
"NO RONON OVER THERE...OVER THERE...JUST SHOOT THE DAMN THING. I DON'T CARE...KILL IT!"
"Colonel Sheppard, that...would be...animal cruelty."
"AND WHAT IT'S DOING ISN'T HUMAN CRUELTY?"
A/N: Sigh...I had one of those crazy days...guess it's a reflection of it.