SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I WAS ON HOLIDAYS! I URGE U TO READ MY ONE SHOTS WHICH ARE PURELY LILY AND JAMES AND REVIEW TOO!

Hey guys! Crap guess what! I crapped my knee up! YAY! OKAY yes there is horrible pain but I get to:

Take the lift instead of stairs!

Boss everyone around

And get lots of privileges!

YAY! Lol if ur interested in how I crapped up my near it al l l l began when I was playing basketball versing my friend who shall be called 'A' yes 'A' is a HUMONGEOUS traitor to play another team then our team, but well she bumped into me hard and thus my leg crapped up real real bed! Don't worry! I get to rub it into her face!

Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns all and I'm just filling lies into your heads. Oh, but I still own Nothing. Though I do repeat arse a lot too I admit!

Anyways this chappie isn't the bestest as I did it with a crapped knee and real fast over my holiday. it was in my head 4 a long time too!

Chapter 2

Chapter's name: James Potter is in love

But for insanity: Definition If the ink change pink: Your in love

"Head Boy…?" HEAD BOY? HEAD BOL-UH-DDY BOY? HEAD BOY? BOY WITH A HEAD? HEAD…HEAD...HEAD?"

Yes, Sirius Black was on the verge of: tears', fainting, screaming, urge for snogging AND dying but was it really his fault? Yes of course he wasn't in shock at all! Sirius's face was going into a slight Michael Jackson sort of colour (which doesn't mean he had a face for molestering) and that was really really really really really really BREATHE pale.

Of course it was faint-ful to find out that James Potter was head Boy of Hogwarts.

Head Boy of Pranking… believable

Head Boy of snogging…believable…but not in Sirius's eyes

Head Boy of having the cutest arse… REALLY believable

Head boy of annoying Lily Evans… IN her eyes… believable

Head boy of potatoes and green cheese…reasonably believable

Head Boy of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry…? Wait repeat that?

Head Boy of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry…? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?

No a hearing aid isn't needed; James Potter was remarkably Head Boy of Hogwarts School Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Sirius went as rigid as a board that lived in James's bedroom floor. He clutched his chest in obvious desperation to breathe; he fell dramatically to his knees. Gasp was it the Grim Wreaker? No, it was his pain and horror for James.

"HEAD BOY!"

"Sirius Shut-up!"

"HEAD BOY?"

"Padfoot!"

"HEAD BOY YOUR SCARYING THE SHIT OUTTA ME!"

"Padfeet shut your face up!"

"HEAD BOYIEEEEEIEIEIIEEEEIEEEEE!"

"SIRIUS SHUT UP!"

"NO I WILL NOT SHU-"

"HOLD YOU BUTTOCKS BOY!"

It was one thing to know that Remus Lupin hated migraines and at every sound of Sirius's voice was a 99.9 chance that Remus was going to receive one. Though it was one thing to know that Sirius Black did not care one bit!

"HEAD BOY! WHAT, GOD, ARE YOU DOING! HOW COULD YOU?" Tears caused by an onion that Peter was waving around came out of Sirius's eyes. "THERE SO YOUNG! THEY ARE TAKEN SO YOUNG! SO YOUNG I SAY, YOUNG, SO, TAKEN, WHY, FOUR-EYES?"

James looked at Sirius in full indignantation, sure maybe he did have an eye problem that made him scream YAAAAAAA YAAAAAAAAA when he didn't have his glasses on and moan like a constipated camel but really was it his fault he accidentally poured acid in his eyes when he was 8?

Anyways why was James head Boy? How did he get it? He could he deserve it?

"Padfoot shut-up or I'll get your voice stuck in my head!"

Sirius pointed an accusing finger to Remus.

"WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S SUPPOSE TO HAVE THE AUTHORITY! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Peter was covering his ears. Rat. Were potentially good listeners. So he squeaked.

"Padfoot!"

Remus side glanced at James, James shrugged. What had happened to his earmuffs?

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSE TO BE TOUCHED BY THE DARKSIDE! GASP!" Sirius gasped with and added in gasp. "YOR TOUCHED BY THE DARKSIDE!"

Besides the fact that Sirius and James had created the word 'dark side' out of a weird muggle book about I-am-your-father, James had every idea what the dark side was.

"I'm not touched by the dark side! Don't be a preposterous retard Sirius!" James tried his best to act casual, the one he did around Lily.

"PROVE IT!"

James glanced at Sirius, Sirius looked back. Remus sighed. Not the 'dark side' test. According to James and Sirius Remus wasn't in the dark side until he became prefect as he 'failed' a test on a weird combination of upside down handshakes. The thing was, Remus never got them. Peter on the other never ever tried the test as he gave himself a wedgie with the test.

Sirius and James their test handshake, tribal dance, then… James slipped on a banana peel.

"OMG!" gasped Sirius.

"OMG!" gasped James.

"Omg," gasped Remus in embarrassment.

"OMG!" Peter banged the fridge closed. "We're out of breadsticks."

"Freaks!" cried Sirius in a Petunia-sort-of-way, "All of you! Dark sides!"

He ran into a corner were sunbeam was beaming and started shaking.

"My god! I earned Head Boy!" James was about to vomit or cry it was hard to tell.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Prongs you ARE in the dark side!" Sirius moaned in an odd sort of melancholy way. Poor James didn't know what to say or what to do!

"Am…I…gonna…die?" asked James quietly.

"Yes!" answered Sirius loudly as if he was calling to someone in the other side of the world. The house boomed and rocked rockily.

"Noooooooooo!" James melted to the floor like a wicked witch of the west sort of way.

"I'm meltinnnngg! I'm gonna be Head Boy! I get to go to the prefect bathrooms, boss people around and prove to Lily that I'm growing up!

James's melting soon turned into rising…

"Prongs?" Peter looked scared. IT WAS ATTACK OF THE EVIL JAMES BOGGIE POTTER MAN

Rising…

Rising…

Rising…

…and he was floating in a few moments time. He was smirking widely that it probably would of scared the daylight of me. Boy was it scary, he must have been happier then the pineapple that was eaten yesterday!

"And then She'll love me and snog me and soon we'll have kids together and-"

"James!" Sirius barked.

"What?"

"My Brains can't take anymore nightmares!"

James rolled his eyes. And kept his fantasies to himself which was very very good thing because James Potter had a wild imagination when it came to Lily Evans! Very wild! Indeed. So wild that he could of won a noble prize award of being the most creative boy that was known to Earth.

Head Boy…

"How'd I get it?" asked James as if he was listening to a sage.

Of course James was surprised how he got the badge, man who wouldn't be? If there were a betting post with one million people in it on if James Potter could be head boy they would all lose A LOT of money! Besides James had the number of detention slips that could replace the Great Wall of China and sheesh that thing is MASSIVE!

But there was the badge with JAMES POTTER engraved in it.

"Maybe it was a mistake!" suggested Peter after he got over the overwhelming fact that they were out of breadsticks. "Maybe it was addressed to me!"

Er… a possibility.

"MAYBE!" Sirius gushed. "Albus Dumbledore went off his conk and read Remus Lupin as James Potter

"Dumbledore is not off his conk Padfoot!"

"Psshh a sherbet lemon obsession! CONKY TO ME!" yelled James loudly and horribly to the world.

Remus rolled his eyes again.

"Get it into your head James! YOUR HEAD BOY!"

"A boy with a what?"

No one laughed at James. Crickets chirped in the middle of the day.

James filled the crickety silence.

"But my detention slips can be seen from URANUS!"

Peter turned around with extreme difficulty and Sirius plunged into the LOUDEST hysterics known to man and women.

"HE HAY HOOO OF THE HOOO HA HEE!"

They stared at him.

"HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HU HU HU HU HU HU !"

"Sirius…"

" HARDI- Yes Prongs-I!"

"Go eat some carrots!"

You see carrots calmed Sirius's hysterical… ness down. It was weird, random and not normal, but also a fact of life that everyone must remember around Sirius Black! So off Sirius went to eat some carrots.

James sighed and leaned forward the table.

"You think it's her?"

Remus inhaled a deep breath of air. It went like Uhhhh-hhhhhuuuuhhhh.

"If it isn't her then you can call me gay and I'll shag a pickle!"

James looked weirdly at Remus, his eyebrows were positioned all funny and different and his mouth looked upside down!

"Moony…I never knew you had a fetish for pickles."

Remus gave James his FMMMing look (Full Moon Moony Mood).

"Are you saying Lily isn't Head Girl?"

James gasped exaggeratedly at his friend.

"We were talking about Lily? I thought you were talking about Snivellus!"

Peter piped in.

"He's a women? Padfoot told me he was a monkey with shaved balls," (a/n: lol stuck on you moment!) Peter tilted his head to one side, confused written from head to arse.

"Padfoot wanted to be a flobberworm when he was three," answered Remus, rolling his eyes.

"Well at least I didn't want to be the Weird Sister's guitar!" Sirius Black walked back into the room nibbling on a carrot. Of course it was Remus who dissed Sirius, so it would be strange to see Sirius Black dis James.

James blushed.

"Well I was 7."

"Nine"

"8"

"Eleven!"

"10"

"Done!"

Sirius and James shook hands with each other.

"So what were we on about Moony?"

"Lily…"

"Ahh… yes! Hot girl she is!"

James had a horrible memory. If you compared him to a goldfish, you'll be stuck with the difference!

"Is Head Girl…"

"She is?"

"She is?"

"She is?"

James, Sirius and Peter Gasp in shock. They look at each other.

"Well… DUH!"

Sirius smirked and shoved an arm over James.

"See Prongsies! There are ups on being Head Boy!"

"But Padfoot I thou-," pipes Peter.

"More time with Lily Evans! Isn't that what you want mate?"

James didn't answer. He wasn't in shock. Or dismay. Or hyper. He was drooling. A lot…on Sirius's hand…he's newly clean James-free hand! Remus contained a grin.

"Padfoot get a bucket!"

"Wormtail get a bucket!"

Peter ran to get a bucket. When he came back he saw a puddle… a HUGE puddle.

"Uh… it's… slimy!"

Remus laid James on his back as if he was about to do mouth to mouth resuscitation while Sirius and Peter bet on his life.

"3 sickle his dead!"

"Guys shut-up Prongs!" Remus slapped James lightly on his cheek. James snapped awake suddenly and began wailing a certain girls name… but with and 'E'

"LILL-EEEEEEEEE!"

Remus and Sirius flinch horribly, the sighed.

"He's back."

James on the other hand was deep in thought right after his drooling trance! He even had a funny frown on his face.

"Moony I just had a bad bad thought."

"Mmmm?"

"What happens if Lily think I'm not mature enough?"

"Er…"

"What happens if he see's right through me?"

"Um…."

"Remus you have to give me mature lessons!"

"Mature…lessons?"

"Yes…please" James went onto his knees as if begging for mercy, innocent tears were coming out of his eyes just like puss in boots from Shrek! Man if there was one thing James was talented at besides eating rotten tamotoes without spewing, it was begging!

(Sirius tie up my shoes!

NO!

Please! Pulls face

Oh Fine!

Moony Pulls face can you kick Padfoot for me please!

It would be my Pleasure!

OW MOONY GO KICK JAMES!)

Actually that was out of sheer enjoyment of kicking Padfoot.

"You can teach me alllll your k-nowledge!" James emphasized on the 'k'.

" Yeah! Moony can enlighten us on how to be boring!" Sirius squealed with sheer delight.

"HAR. Sodding. HAR! Prongs I can't mature you, you have to mature yourself!"

James sank low. Darn begging just didn't work when you grow older. Your eyes just weren't overlarge enough. Remus sighed.

"Prongs just…act mature. Don't make arsehole comments that bug Lily. Don't laugh at weird things. Offer to carry her stuff or something! Stop hexing people!"

"Oh Moony I stopped that ages AGO! Little leprechauns are actually quite cute!"

"James there…first years…"

"Either way…" James grinned roguishly. "What else have you got for me Moony?"

"Be yourself?"

"And flatter he with your wittiness and charm, then finally true love will come to you in a shoot of the eye!"

That wasn't Remus

Don't even look at Peter

Nope James is the one asking for help.

Yep, everyone was staring at Sirius Black as if he was a scarecrow made out of woolen socks.

"Thanks Padfoot, I'll keep that in mind…" replied James surprised etched his face. Sirius just shrugged before saying.

"I am smart aren't I?"

"Dazzle us," Remus commented sarcastically. He stood up ruffled James hair with a slight sympathetic smile, James knocked Remus's hands out of his untouchable hair that was only touchable when a) in a snog b) by Lily Evans c) when the marauders were doing it in a brotherly fashion (not that Peter could reach James's head, man, he could only grope James's but if he tried). Remus was teasing James and that wasn't in the 'a', 'b' or 'c' list.

"And don't be a prat James." And he stood up to probably to release in the toilet. Sirius skipped over to James in a very dainty manner and flounced on a chair.

"Prongs you're my best mate/ friend/ brother/ comrade/ buddy/ pal/ chum/ sidekick/ assistant/ follower/ right hand man/ left hand man/ right foot man/ left foot man/ chick- I get it Padfoot."

Sirius was a super synonym rambler. If not disturbed James would have to hit him. But when that happened Sirius would hit him back and right now James just wanted some how-to-get-Lily-advice.

"But I'm telling you! Your turning sentimental man!" Sirius patted his right cheek, which rubbed it in because Sirius NEW the left side was ALWAYS better! James frowned.

"Bite Me!" grumbled James still stressing with the fact that Lily was Head Girl and might of found him…weird…

"Your not licorice," pouted Sirius. "And I want LICORICE!"

"I've got licorice!" Peter squeaked happily.

"Give it…!"

And Sirius dived all his body weight onto Peter. And you know Sirius body weight. Peter could only give in because Sirius only had heavy body weight on his 'lower' part.

But Peter could beat Sirius's body weight A-N-Y time!

"I'll go write to Lily and tell her I'm Head Boy,' James proclaimed.

IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans

---->James's POV ----

James was going to get Lily Evans!

He could feel it in his arse

Or maybe that was the stick…

He was going to show EVERYONE!

AND THEY ALL SHOULD HAIL ME! That was what was in Jamesie's Brain.

Okay, maybe not, but James neeeedddeeeedddd Lily Evans.

…And she'll be called Lily Potter.

We'll have twenty-one kids.

And we will live in a comfortable home.

And have it as much as possible until she wants me to get castrated and become a monk. And my temple will be a Lily Temple with Lily smell. Lily flowers. Lily statues.

Ahh that would be heaven :):):) Enough of James's Brain

Anyways, James was going to tell Lily Evans maturely as possible that he was Head Boy. Right first he needed a quill. He looked under his bed. QUILL! Pick it up James instead of stabbing around like a murder weapon. James Potter wasn't going to revert back into that immature Lily-hater. Right okay, ink Jamesie and don't I repeat DO NOT wave it around yelling IT'S RAINING BLACK INKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Ink, ink, ink, there we go. Sheesh these things just hide from you don't they?

Now Parchment James and DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE GET ANOTHER PARCHMENT CUT!

James found all his necessity that the tiny voice in his head ordered him to get which sounded disturbingly like the author of this story.

Dip Quill in ink.

DONE!

Write Dear Lily in…

PINK!

James flinched at the HORRID colour. If he hated anything it was PINK! Yes, once in his life he did love it but then this is what the girls said to him after he announced it: 'What Are You gay or are you Gender confused?' James answered:

Sexually…frustrated.

And from then on PINK was the sexuality colour.

So James turned the Bottle Around.

Mood Colour Changing Ink Dazzle yourself with the whiz bang sudden changing of ink colour that will be from green to blue as soon as the ink touches the paper.

Colour Definition for Mood

Green: Happy, Delighted, joyous

Blue: Calm, cool, composed

Grey: Dull, Bored, Sad

Yellow: Hyper, Overjoyed, excited

Red: strained, stressed, worried

Pink: In Love

Purple: sexual frustration

Brown: Confused, messy

James's eyes popped out on what caught his eyes.

And then this caught his eyes:

Green: Happy, Delighted, joyous

Blue: Calm, cool, composed

Grey: Dull, Bored, Sad

Yellow: Hyper, Overjoyed, excited

Red: strained, stressed, worried

Pink: In Love Purple: sexual frustration Brown: Confused, messy

But this kept him goggling:

Pink: In Love…

IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans IloveLilyEvans

"All this for a girl Moony?"

Sirius whined as Remus reread James's letter.

"I mean GEEZ Lily is hot! But…"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Sirius think of you and Alex."

"Douglas? Ew…that girls like…weird or something."

"Sure!"

There was silence. Peter was looking for the bathroom and probably lost. It was easy to get lost in the Potter mansion. Once Sirius got missing for three days and Mr. Potter found him snoring in the left wing of the house in a spare room.

"Yeah but his changing for a woman! Not just snogging her face off and getting it over with!"

"Padfoot, I think you know it as well as I do."

"No Moony!" Sirius shook his head.

"He is..."

"NOOOOOO MOONY!"

Sirius's eyes bulged suddenly and shook his head.

"How do you know?"

"Well he is head over heels in love with Lily!" Remus smirked weirdly.

"And his ink on this parchment is pink."

Sirius's gasped. "Mood Colour Changing Ink's never wrong!"

Remus nodded.

"Exactly, old Prongsie is in love."

Sirius re-gasped.

"LOVE?"

Then said:

"Wait I see a bit of purple isn't that sexual frustration?"

A BIG THANKS TO pickles .are. cool. acorns. are. not! I LOVE YOU WOMEN! She has been the bestest supporter in the universe. Also I thank SpaZzZzZattack who has done A lot for me too!

Lol. Luv it? Hate it? Also I've noticed that there have been a lot of flames going around about:

Copying

There has been a girl on Fan fiction reviewing about copying 'procrastinator starting 2 moro? If you got any of those plz email me or tell me on your review and I'll tell you the story (I know the person). She goes by the name of mystery OR the name of C-R-I-T-I-S-Z-O-R.

So review

Plz!

Aim: 27-30? More would be lovely!

Thanx

Addled.bRaIn