Chapter three: Hao
A new thunderclap. Anna walks around the part for the hundredth time. She knows it by heart, knowing each case, each trace which her movements make in the dust. Once more, she leans with a case and goes up her knees from her chest. Why isn't he there? What does he wait to come and help her? Was it possible that really, he doesn't love her anymore? The young itako pushes back this idea. No, Yoh loves her. She feels it at the bottom of her heart. And it is what hurt her strongest. He loves her, she loves him, but he's not there. Why? A memory grows in her memory. The first meeting with Hao. Why is this memory there? What can it be useful to her? By re-examining the face of their former enemy, Yoh's twin, her heart tights. Strange. Why the fact of thinking of Hao makes her so unhappy? She has said to Yoh when she has found him that her heart balanced between the two brothers. But it was only one way for her to say him to pay attention to her. It was the only reason for which she has said that to the young shaman. Then why this pinching? Because he looks like his brother, physically? The girl presses her hands on her eyes, asserting a complete black. But a tear manages to cross the prison of flesh. Why isn't he there? And why doesn't she have any more her shaman power?
Anna was forced to think slowly. The shaman powers were innate, the level of furyoku obtained to the birth was impossible to change or almost. But these capacities were accompanied by a force of the spirit. If this one were weak, the capacities would be it too. Then, these doubts that she testes would be a reason of the loss of her capacities? For the knowledge, she hasn't another choice. It was to put at light what she feels. Does her heart go towards Yoh, as she has believed during years, or towards Hao, like a Yoh surer and intimidating? The girl sighs. Still of long hours of reflection in sight.
Anna keeps the eyes closed during long minutes. These last appears endless to her, so much her reflection was difficult. Which of both brother could she love? Yoh, the soft boy, but so tender, so nice. Or maybe Hao, the same boy physically, but hard, and powerful. The image of both shamans mixes in her spirit. The first meeting with each one has been difficult, and testing. Yoh had helped her to defeat her devil, her over-soul. He didn't know her, she didn't want his assistance. All that she wanted, it was to be alone. And yet, the boy had asserted himself, saving her life. Hao, him, has met her right in front of the pache village. He was strong, tempting, but too undertaking. And especially too sure of him. No, she could not love him. Impossible. And yet.
Yoh stands up and surveys the room. Of length into broad. Then broad longitudinally. He sighs something which she would have left for him. But there is nothing. Absolutely nothing. The boy sits back in his corner and poses his face on his knees. The pain. Incomprehension. He doesn't know which feeling is strongest in him. Probably the pain. His spirit is lost in his thought and he imagines her, once again. She is sat in a field. The wind plays with her hair, which she has left floated for once. Why the life has separated them. They are made to be together. That jumps to his eyes. She is simple and ambitious, him a little soft and generous. They are complementary! And yet. She's gone, he remains alone. Only with his despair. The boy is inserted a little more in darkness which his unconscious have created. All in him calls her. His heart remains close to her, his soul is fixed on her. His whole body calls her, but she remains deaf from this call. The pain increases further and always. It's going soon to submerge him, but he makes fun about it. It would have welcome the death as a liberator, releasing him from his doubts and his rancour towards the life.
However, for him, the love is not sign of reciprocity. He has always believed that love somebody, it's to hold to see her happy, even if it is not in his company. But today, finish the great speeches, finish the nobility of soul. Only the pain is his adviser. She shouts to him to find it, to bring her back. To force her if necessary to live with him. But he doesn't manage to be solved there. He wants to see her, but to see her happy. Not with tears toward her cheeks, flooding these eyes where he would have easily drowned. All so that she is happy. But why, oh god, why, is it necessary that it's with his pain. Cannot they live together? He, unconsciously, has already imagined possible heaps of futures, where they will be together. Together, they will go out to walk. Together, they will fell asleep coasts at coasts. Together. But never, she will has left it. And here is that reality exceeded the fiction, revealing all its cruelty, taking a malicious pleasure to torture him.