Clark was awake early. Actually, he never went to sleep. He looked over at a sleeping Lois. She snored loudly and she hogged the covers. At least, she had been nice enough not to make him sleep on the stone cold floor. He could have tolerated it better than most people, but it wouldn't have been great. He was also worried about pulling off life in the Middle Ages.

Lois' arm swung over to his side and hit him right in the face. Even in her sleep she hit him and just wait till she woke up. He'd lived with her long enough to know she wasn't a morning person. She was usually bearable after her first cup of coffee though.

His eyes grew to the size of saucers.

Coffee beans were not in Europe yet. He could handle Tornado Lois but a Category 5 Hurricane? Her ancestor seemed to have a calm disposition. Their existence depended on Lois having caffeine in her system. What was he going to do?

He began to pace the room. Tea was out of the question, Lois would only want coffee. Whatever he did, he had to do it before Lois woke up or Tempus showed up. He looked at the outside wall. Of course! Why didn't he think of it sooner? He would remove the stones, climb down the stone wall, and get the coffee beans.

He noticed the guards saw him but didn't seem alarmed. They must have been used to seeing Merlin/Mer-El doing 'sorcery'. He wished the people of his time could respect his differences.

He quickly sped to the convent. He needed Mer-El's help. He didn't know where the coffee grew in this time, but he suspected Mer-El might.

"Mer-El, I need to talk to you."

"Yea?"

"You must have come to study Earth."

"Yea but more to test a new ship."

"Right. So have you heard of coffee beans?"

"The plant that grows in Arabia?"

"Duh! Arabian coffee. Yes. Do you think you could fly there and get me some? Your powers are more developed than mine."

"Yea but why? Art thou thirsty?"

"Our future depends on it."

Mer-El left and was back fairly quick. He even took the liberty of making it into coffee.

"Thanks. I don't think I've ever seen coffee in a goblet. Tell Lucia and Samuel good luck with the wedding."

"Everything wilt surely be smooth. H.G. Wells is watching on his future Earth tool. His technology maketh me miss Krypton."

"Well, bye."

"Bye! God be with thee."

Clark made it back to the room just in time. Lois' eyes were fluttering. He put the stones back in the wall.

"Is that coffee, Smallville?"

"Yes, and you better get used to calling me Mer-El in front of people, Lady Lucia."

"Whatever, just hand the coffee over."

He gave it to her. She spit her drink back into the goblet and shouted, "It's cold!"

"What do you want me to do about it? There isn't exactly a microwave handy."

"Don't you remember that you have heat vision?"

"Lois!"

"Lady Lucia," she reminded him.

He groaned. What's the point of arguing with her? She usually won in the end. As long as she drank that coffee, they'd both be winners. He warmed the coffee up.

She had just finished it, when the door opened.

"Good. You're both awake. Ready for the big day?"

Clark covered Lois' mouth with his hand and answered, "Yea." Lois bit it and wondered to herself how he knew when she was about to say something bad.

They went out into the hallway.

Tempus was the only one looking happy out of the three, as he said, "This is Abigail, Lady Lucia. She'll escort you to your bridal chamber and help you get ready. Mer-El, you already know King Arthur. He will keep you company until the wedding. I'll be waiting in the chapel."

Lois stomped off with Abigail, leaving the two men alone.

"So Mer-El, let mine words of wisdom give thee advice. Lady Lucia is a good woman with kindly words. The moment she becomes thy wife that changes. Be prepared. Me thinks I see a change in her even now."

King Arthur continued to give Clark advice from one man to another as they walked the corridors. At last there was a pause in the lengthy speech and Clark asked, "Did thou know Lady Lucia and I were locked up?"

"Yea. I know it was wrong, but I thought why not? They wilt be married on the morrow. If a priest was happy with it, who am I to argue with God and the Church?"

So that's how Tempus got away with it right under the King's nose.

At last they made their way to the bridal chamber and King Arthur said, "Here we be. I thought thou would like some time alone with thy lady before the ceremony."

Abigail came stumbling out with her hair out of place and cried, "The woman is possessed by the devil! I hath never heard such strong language or seen such vulgar behavior even among the peasants!"

King Arthur chuckles merrily and says, "A lady hath the right to be nervous on her wedding day."

Clark bit back a smile and thought, 'If only they knew she was like this everyday.'

"Come, Abigail. I shall escort thee to the chapel," and Abigail and King Arthur left.

Clark went in and Lois looked as mad as a wet hen. Pretty but mad.

"Lois, I went to a lot of trouble to get you that coffee. Now perk up and look cheerful."

If looks could kill…that's when Clark noticed the most horrific thing he had ever seen in his life and that was saying a lot.

"Lo-Lo-Lois! You're holey."

"I admit I pray when I get in a tight situation, but I would hardly call myself-"

"No! Look."

Lois looked down and saw little holes of light appearing through her.

"Something must have gone wrong! Don't go ANYWHERE!" Clark ran faster than he had in his entire life. He was at the convent in less than a second and heard:

"Aunt Mary, thou must let us be married!"

"I do not feel that a marriage should begin on a lie. I wast not ill and I should not have feigned it even for thy sake, Lucia."

Clark yelled, "Get married, now!" and he took Mary, the nun, into another room. He saw when the wedding was over with his x-ray vision. He released Sister Mary and ran back to the castle.

Lois was in one piece.

He hugged her tight. He had never been more afraid. Death was one thing. Death wasn't final. For someone to stop existing and for it to be someone he cared about that was something else. He didn't think he would ever let her go.

"Clark, I didn't just survive only to be crushed by superhuman strength."

He let her go and she was smiling at him.

"Shall we go get married, Mer-El?"

"With pleasure, Lucia."

Clark and Lois were beginning to wish they had studied Latin in high school because that's what Tempus was speaking in. It also explained where the translator went. They could see the weird looking gadget wrapped around his neck.

Clark was thinking during all this Latin gibberish how rude and bossy Lois was and how much he liked it now. Lois just spoke her mind and sometimes that came out rude, but it was truthful. She bossed him around but most of the time she was right. He could see her being a great reporter. He would never tell Lois, but he wished this wedding was real.

Lois was thinking how sappy and righteous Clark was and how much she liked it now. Sure he was a sap and would get pushed into doing something he didn't want to do because he was touchy feely, but he really cared about people and that was endearing. He was righteous to a fault, but you had to applaud him for it because it took guts and it worked out in the end. She could see him being a great superhero. She would never tell Clark this, but she wished the wedding was real.

They were fake man and wife. They shared a friendly kiss and wondered now what?