A/N: This chapter focuses mainly on the incident at the hospital.
Chapter 4: The Hospital
Meanwhile, at the Quahog Community Hospital, the Griffins were sitting in the waiting room. Peter was reading a magazine and giggling at the political cartoons. "Hey, Brian, look at these pictures of Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. They look funny! Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh," Peter said.
"Of course they look funny, Peter. That's because they're caricatures," Brian said.
"What?" Peter asked.
"Caricatures, Peter. They're exaggerated pictures of political people to bring out their most unique physical characteristics," Brian said.
"Huh?" Peter wondered, still confused.
Brian sighed. "Never mind, Peter. You can keep laughing at the pictures if you want." Peter giggled at more caricatures in the magazine.
Then, a nurse came into the waiting room. "Griffin, Chris."
"That's me!" Chris shouted.
"Come on back," the nurse beckoned.
The family followed the nurse, who led them to a hospital room, where a doctor was waiting for them. "Hello, Chris," the doctor said.
"Hi," Chris said.
"So, I hear that you got bitten by a black widow spider," he said grimly.
"Yeah, and I don't feel good," Chris said.
"Do you have the specimen with you so I can look at it?" questioned the doctor.
"Nope," Peter said. "Last we saw it, it was at our house. I'll go back and get it real quick for ya."
"Peter, it's okay, you don't need to –" Lois started, but it was too late. Peter crashed through the walls of the hospital and jogged down the street all the way back to the house. He weaved in between cars, who shouted at him when they nearly ran over him. He then passed by Meg, who was sadly trudging down the sidewalk with tears in her eyes. "Hi, Meg," Peter said. He didn't even realize she was running away. Peter then entered the house and noticed that the black widow was gone! "Oh my! Where the hell is that spider? Peter then looked under all the furniture in the house at light-speed. When he couldn't find it, he sadly walked outside. That's when he caught sight of it crawling on the sidewalk. "Ah ha! There's that little bastard!" Peter the picked it up by its legs. "Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh – OW! OW! OW!" he shouted.
The spider bit Peter! Peter dropped the spider in panic and hurried to the hospital. "Doctor! Doctor! Help me! That spider bit me!"
"Did you get the spider, Peter?" Lois asked.
"Uh…well…no," Peter said, embarrassed. Lois growled in exasperation.
"Well, well, fat man. That's a new low for you. You crash through several hospital walls, jog all the way home to look for one itsy bitsy spider, it bites you, and you don't even think twice to bring it back with you," Stewie taunted. "And you didn't even lose any weight while doing it!" He then laughed. "Oh, man, that's priceless!"
"Oooookayyy…" the doctor said. "I guess we'll just have to give you both the standard remedy for the black widow bite. He wrote a prescription. Take the medicine twice a day for three months, and it should relieve you of the poison that the spider injected into your bodies." He handed Peter the prescription.
"How the hell is anyone supposed to read this? The writing's all jumped up and scribbled. Didn't anyone teach you how to write?" Peter complained.
"That does it!" the doctor suddenly roared. He then gave Peter a hard punch in the jaw. Peter fell to the ground knocked out. The family looked at Peter with concern, and then, they looked at the doctor. "What? He'll be okay."