I know I've told peoplethis would be up by the weekend, but after reading some GREAT reviews, I just started writing and couldn't stop.
Um…did I say infinitely better? Maybe a bit better. It's certainly longer. Um, I think I'll raise the rating now, coz I kinda get a bit carried away with the tasteless humour sometimes, lol. Forgive me :)
After an hour of black smoke and hideous costumes, Cameron was fighting her way out of a raunchy Dominatrix get-up while Chase sat back and watched, thoroughly enjoying himself, rocking back and forth and whispering "I've been bad" excitedly. Cameron rolled her eyes and wrapped her rags around herself once more.
"Do you think you could do it right this time?" she asked impatiently. Chase picked up his rather worn copy of "Magik Fo Dummys" and nodded.
"Yeah, I think so. I just gotta really picture it in my mind" Cameron rolled her eyes again. Somehow it didn't surprise her that all the bizarre and demeaning costumes had been products of Chase's imagination.
"Do you want me to draw you a picture?" She asked sarcastically. She was getting tired of this. He shook his head. "I got it." He answered confidently.
As he whipped out his wand and began chanting, Cameron lost her hold on the rags covering her body.
"Bibbity, bobbety- BOOBIES!" He exclaimed, eyes wide as Cameron blushed bright red and picked up her rags.
"For crying out loud" she huffed, snatching the wand off an ecstatic Chase, and turning it on herself.
"Give me a freaking dress!" She yelled. After a muffled 'boom' and puff of smoke, Cameron emerged wearing a beautiful pale turquoise dress and a pair of silver strappy heels.
"It'll do" she sighed contentedly. Chase said nothing, but his wide-open mouth and bulging eyes told her he approved.
"Now I just need a way of getting there," she hinted, eyes darting over to him suggestively.
He blinked..
She winked at him.
He flicked some dirt off his tutu.
Cameron threw her hands up in exasperation. "Argh! Could you please give me some transportation?" She yelled in frustration. Chase grinned. "Now THAT, I can do." He answered.
"I'm going to kill him," Cameron growled as she pushed herself down the road on Chase's scooter. "Hopeless, absolutely hopeless, he is." She gasped as she bobbed along. By the time she reached the Ball, her hair had gone awry and her face was magenta from the effort. But we can't have her looking like that, because Sir Gregory would probably laugh, so as she walked up to the doors everything fixed itself, even the sprinkling of blue glittery dust that fell from the little fluffy baubles on the handles of Chase's scooter.
She approached the door, and was met by a little bald man in a pink tutu. "Invitation?" he squeaked, holding out his hand. Cameron hesitated. She didn't have an invitation. Now how was she supposed to get inside and win Sir Gregory's heart?
"I don't have one." She stated. The little bald man in the pink tutu shook his head. "Then I'm sorry, you can't come in, unless you produce a invitation, break into tears, punch me in the face, or perform a sexual favour for old Bruce over there." He jerked his thumb towards the dark alley way alongside the building, from which a great belch sounded.
Cameron gagged, clearly revolted. She was about to break into tears in order to gain entrance to the Ball, when something blue and poofy appeared at her side with a 'pop'. It was her ever-helpful Fairy Godmother. "Don't cry darl, you don't wanna ruin your makeup. Cecil! Mah man!" He stepped forward and greeted the little bald man in the pink tutu with a pat-on-the-back-man-hug. This gesture of camaraderie would have been nice if the two men weren't wearing sparkling tutus.
"Aww, what the heck, you can go in girlie." Cecil shrugged, opening the door.
"Thanks," Cameron said before turning to Chase as they entered. "How did you get here so fast?" She asked him incredulously.
"Magic." He answered nonchalantly.
Smack"I worked my ass off on that stingy little scooter for NOTHING?" She screamed, infuriated, before stalking off into the ballroom. Not watching where she was going, she ran straight into Lord Foreman, Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy's Big Royal Advisor.
"What are you doing here?" he hissed at her. "The plotline, remember?" she replied nervously. Foreman suddenly caught on. "Oh, okay then" he whispered.
Suddenly Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy began sauntering towards him, wiggling her Big Royal Arse. "Foreman, who is that you're talking to?" she called out royally.
"Fudge!" he cursed, before unceremoniously flinging Cameron under a table. "No one, Your Royal Highness." He answered innocently before walking away, whistling softly.
Cameron was about to emerge from the table when someone pulled out a chair and sat down. She caught her breath. There, staring her right in the face, were Sir Gregory's knees. She heard him talk up above. She stifled a girlish giggle at the sound of his sexy voice.
"So where's this love interest that I'm supposed to be… well, interested in?" He asked someone whose knees Cameron couldn't see.
"She should be here. But I hear the only Fairy Godmother available was Bobbert Chase."
"Don't you mean 'Robert' Chase?"
"Uhh, no its written here as Bobbert Chase. It appears he can't even spell his own name."
"Dear God…"
Cameron crossed herself silently, thanking the lord and all things holy that she survived being trapped in a small space with 'Bobbert' Chase and his wand.
Just then Cameron heard the click-clack of Big Royal Shoes. Oh no, what's she doing here? Cameron thought to herself, her heart sinking. Her heart didn't literally sink; she just got this funny feeling in her chest, which she assumed was what it would feel like if her heart were sinking.
Anyway, Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy sat her Big Royal Arse down on the chair next to Sir Gregory, and Cameron had to suddenly shift as her Big Royal Knees came into view, nearly hitting the side of her face.
"Why hello Sir Gregory," Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy purred royally.
"Piss off" Sir Gregory replied.
"That's no way to talk to your boss, Sir Gregory"
"Sorry… please piss off?"
"Come on, don't you want some company?"
"I have company"
"I mean some… feminine company"
"Okay, when I get me some of that, I'll let you know."
From under the table Cameron could see Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy's Big Royal Hand shift closer to Sir Gregory's lap.
"Ew, piss off!" he repeated, louder this time. "Wilson, she's trying to touch my naughty places!" He complained.
With a snort and a sound like a foot connecting with a waterbed, Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy was sent flying across the room, where she landed on Her Big Royal Nose. Cameron giggled before she could stop herself, and slapped her hand over her mouth in panic. But at that exact moment a loud crash sounded through the ballroom, and a steady 'boom-boom' could be heard.
"What the fudgesticks?" Sir Gregory cursed, before leaping from the table. "Vogler!" He gasped. "But, but I thought I defeated him?"
"You did, Sir." The other voice said reassuringly. "But then his boo-boos healed, and now he's back for some extra screen time."
"Screen time?"
"Don't ask."
A woman in the ballroom screamed, and Cameron decided she should pop out and have a look at this 'Vogler' dude. So she did.
Vogler stood about twenty feet from the ground, staring vacantly into space, and drooling. When Cameron popped out from under the table he turned his gaze to her. Well, one of his eyes turned to her; the other required a forceful blow to his head before it too swivelled around.
"Ooh, perdy…" He moaned stupidly, before stomping over towards her, hand outstretched. Cameron screamed, and Sir Gregory turned to see what was going on.
"Watch out!" He cried, before leaping towards her, in slow motion. But unfortunately, everything else was happening at normal speed, so Vogler had Cameron in his paws and was heading out the door beforeSir Gregory even hit the ground.
"Oh no!" Wilson cried dramatically. "He's taking her back to his secret lair! But Sir Gregory, you must save her!"
Sir Gregory jumped up from the floor, and raised his finger in the air like he had found the meaning of life.
"I'll do it!" He announced.
And with that, he and his Noble Steed Wilson bounded off in Vogler's wake.
Feedback, please! As some of you may be wondering, yes I did forget about a part for Stacy, and YES I have now found one for her! Many thanks to The Mad Beta, for it was duringa reply to their review that an idea for Stacy whacked me in the face. you can all expect the next chapter SOON.