The Little Mer-Alchemist

(AKA Ed, the Merman Pole Dancer)

Rated T for (mild adult topics, mild adult language)

Once upon a time, there was a merman named Edward Elric. He lives with him full auto-mail merman brother named Al. One day, Al awoke to the violent sound of very loud dancing music. Al swam out of bed and knocked on his brother's door.

"Brother? What are you doing in there?" Al noticed that the door was unlocked and went inside.

"Oh yeah…how do you like me now!" Ed said. Al stopped dead and his entire face turned red. Ed was in tight black leather and pole dancing. Ed hadn't noticed he had come in, and continued his perverted dance. (Me: --.--;)

"I'm too sexy for my leather, too sexy for my leather, so sexy whenever!" Ed sang, grinding up and down the pole. Al was speechless. He had known for a while that his brother was a pole dancer, but he never saw him dance.

After about five minutes of pole dancing, Ed noticed his brother had come into the room. He stopped dancing and waved at Al.

" Oh hi Al! I didn't hear you come in. Do you like my dance?" On dance he did a body wave on his pole.

Al, now scarlet, finally stammered "Um…h-hi b-brother. sweat drop Your d-dance was very…um…n-nice…Anyway, come on, we have to-"

But Al was cut-off by his brother, who sank to the floor and started crying.

"Oh Al! I feel so empty! I need someone to be my lover!"

Suddenly, Winry came into the room and jumped on Ed.

"Oh hi... Winry?" Al said, confused at why Winry had come.

"There you are my sexy pole dancing boy! I've been looking for you! Don't worry, I heard you crying and I know exactly what you want." She said slyly.

"Um…hi Winry." Ed said, backing away from Winry, who was now clinging to Ed's leather. "You know what I want?" he said hopefully.

"Of course! You want…me!" she said, now trying to make-out with Ed.

"Um…do you two want some time alone?" Al said, backing away to the door.

"OH MY GOD! WINRY! WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR SWEATER? IT IS FABULOUS!" Winry sweat drop. Ed suddenly screamed in a girly voice and ran out the door.

"Oh no you don't Edward Elric! Get back here and sex me up!" Winry said, pulling out an over-sized wrench.

Al reluctantly followed after.

Later that day Ed went up to the surface. He saw a ship and went to see what was going on. When he got there he saw the most beautiful person he had ever seen, and fell in love…with Roy Mustang! He saw Roy doing paper work, looking quite fearful because Hawkeye had a gun pointed to his head.

"Now I want you to finish all of this paper work!" She said, placing a mountain of paper work on Roy's desk

Roy stress mark. "Please let me go. I can't possibly finish this paper work!"

Hawkeye's finger gripped the trigger. "What did you say?"

Roy sweat drop. "…I'll do the paper work…" he said.

"That's what I thought I heard you say." Said Hawkeye, and watched Roy reluctantly do the paper work.

Ed, love stricken, swam back to find his brother.

"Al! I'm in love with Roy!" he said as he swam into an unsuspecting Al.

Al sweat drop. "Hmm…Roy is a weird name for a girl, isn't it brother?"

"Al, Roy is a guy! And a kawaii (cute) one two!" Ed said, and daydreamed about Roy.

"Um…brother? Are you…uh…gay?" Al said hesitantly.

"Well of course I am Al! What did you expect from me? I'm a guy pole dancer! Besides, not only do I think Roy is cute, but if he saw MY pole dance, he would fall in love with me for sure!" Ed said, and threw on his tight pole dancer leather and stroked his pole with his mer-body.

"Not all pole dancers are gay you know…" Al said quietly. "Well, you can't go up to see him anyway, so just forget it ok, and brother? Could you pole dance AFTER I've left."

Suddenly Ed had an idea. A crazy idea. An idea so crazy, only Edward the gay pole dancer could think of it.

JADE-fullmetal377: Hi passer-bys! This was my first story, and more chapters to come!