The Little Mer-Alchemist: Chapter 4:

Winry's Plan and Roy's Heart

PILLZ-ExXtheXxalchemist: IT'S HERE! The fourth chapter of The Little Mer-Alchemist! WARNING! Extreme mushy-ness toward the end. Don't worry though! In chapter 5, things get a little…well…strange. o.o' This might be my favorite chapter, because Roy gets in trouble…oo'…THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT AND REVEIWS! CHAPTER 5 COMING SOON!

Where we left off…While Ed was learning proper pole-dancing procedures, Winry was plotting to get her "sex object" back for herself!

Back in Envy the Sea Bitch's lair; Al and Envy were sprawled on the floor, countless bruises and dents on their heads, in front of a royally pissed-off Winry with an oversized wrench.

"It's…not…our fault…ow…why do I feel this?" Al was able to finally say.

"SHUT UP ALPHONSE! THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT! ED JUST CAN'T BE GAY! If I want to rule as queen of the sea and want AT LEAST twenty mer-children AND want to get some action in, I HAVE TO MARRY HIM!

Envy sat up and rubbed her head. "Ugh! Don't put images in my head mechanic. I was just doing my job."

Winry lifted the wrench over her head like a hammer you see at Whack-a-mole games.

"I'll give you five seconds to tell me where you poofed Ed, or else a concussion isn't to far away!"

Envy vain popping "Don't threaten Envy the Sea Bi-OW!"

With a mighty swing, Winry brought the wrench down onto Envy's head, knocking her out cold.

"Your next if you don't tell me NOW!"

Al stress mark "Ok, OK!" Al said hastily, thinking, she can get crazy when it comes to Nissan…

"Envy gave him legs and sent him up to the surface to go after Roy, the human he is in love with."

Winry dropped her wrench and her mouth dropped down to the floor. A small fish swam into her mouth and she didn't notice.

"Are you-ACK!" Winry began, chocking on the fish that had tried to make her mouth it's home.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" she screamed at the fish, and threw it out of the lair.

"I'm sorry Winry! There's nothing you can do…Nissan made his choice…" Al said cautiously, afraid of another episode of "When Wirny attacks".

"Oh, that's what HE thinks! But if I can't make him come back, I'll just FORCE him down here, even if I have to drag him back here myself!"

Winry then began to laugh diabolically.

"Um…he would drown if you didn't change him back…" Al said dumbly.

"Now, I'll need to plan this entire scheme out, and until Envy wakes up, I got nothing."

Al sweat drop "I wonder how Nissan is doing?"

But Ed was doing great! He had learned all the basics and was performing for all of the Eastern Command and The Silver Tiger.

A couple of hours after Roy had explained everything to Ed, he was walking around the command avoiding his paper work.

"If there is one thing EVERYONE hates, it's paper work."

Roy sighed. He was bored, and didn't know what to do with himself.

"Maybe I should go see that Edward kid dance…" Roy thought to himself. He finally decided that anything would be better than paper work.

Roy walked to a building with a flashing transmutation neon circle with neon letters under it that said "THE SILVER TIGER". As he approached the entrance, he saw…Alexander Armstrong and Scar! They were coming out of the club and were talking in surprised tones.

"That new dancer is fantastic! He has such grace, such style…" Armstrong boasted dreamily, pinks sparkles dancing around his head.

"I have to agree." Scar said, taking off his sunglasses. "Full Metal is ama-OW! MY EYE!" Scar was in the middle of talking about Ed, when one of Armstrong's sparkles flew into one of his eyes.

Armstrong sweat drop "OMG! Scar, are you ok?"

Scar was clutching his eye, saying "DAMN YOU SPARKLE! YOU'VE SUBDUDED ME YET AGAIN!"

Roy sweat drop "I don't even want to know." Roy said, and walked inside.

Inside The Silver Tiger, the lights were dark except for multicolored spotlights and one regular spotlight. Roy unpleasantly pushed his way to the front of the stage and saw no one on it dancing.

"I wonder what they're all waiting for…" Roy wondered. But his question was soon answered, because suddenly, a DJ shouted into a loud speaker:

"and now! The one you've all been waiting for! Our newest and probably most talented dancer, Full Metal!"

A cheer rose from the crowd, as Ed's special dancing music blasted and he was on the stage in his sleek, shiny and VERY tight full body leather. With a sly grin, he jumped to his pole and danced incredibly.

"I'm to sexy for my leather, to sexy for my leather so sexy whenever! And I'm a dancer, you know what I mean, and I shake my tight ass for the rest of the scene!" Ed sang, stoking and spinning on his pole. Then the music changed and he started to sing, "Out Tonight" from RENT.

"Meow…HA!" On "HA" he flung out his lower body and another cheer came from the crowd.

Roy was stunned. He had never seen such a great dancer before. He had seen A LOT of pole dancers; he even saw Hughes, Havoc and Armstrong when they had gotten drunk at the Christmas party. But he had never seen such a sight as Edward Elric. Roy started to feel something strange inside of him. It tugged at his heart, but it was a good feeling. He couldn't help but smile.

"Wow…he's so…" Roy started, but then noticed he was blushing! He held his breath. Could it be true? Had Roy Mustang fallen for Edward Elric? You bet!

"I wonder if he likes me…tee hee…" Roy said softly, compacting himself and tapping his index fingers together, still blushing.

"Oh I'm very sure he would fall for you, Colonel."

Roy stiffened and started to sweat. He heard the familiar intimidating voice of Hawkeye right behind him.

"You're late. I told you what would happen…"

Roy glanced to the side and saw two oversized probes next to his ears. He was sweating rapidly now.

He finally found the courage and turned around to find an enraged Hawkeye with two electric probes in her hands.

"Um…I-I can e-explain Captain…I mean…AHHHHHHHH!"

Roy twitched as Hawkeye shocked him right were she had threatened she would. Surprisingly, no on noticed because they were hypnotized by Full Metal's dance.

"I'll let you stay and watch, but you better come back and finish the paperwork!"

Hawkeye then saluted Roy and with a sly smile walked out.

Roy, now on the floor, clutching his "private" part, writhed on the floor, his "private" part smoking. He couldn't speak, but he thought,

"OW! OH DEAR GOD OW! THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME I ACCIDENTALLY ATE "PUDDING" WHEN I WAS SITTING BY THE KITCHEN AND THE BATHROOM!" (me:…ew… )

Finally after ten minutes of indescribable pain, Roy was finally able to stand up and watch Ed finish his dance.

"I know. I'll go see him backstage and invite him to dinner! That would be perfect!"

And with high hopes, Roy waited until the end of Ed's dance, and went backstage.

Ed was walking to his dressing room, unnoticing a love-stricken general Roy Mustang following silently close behind.

"Hello Full Metal." Roy finally said as he tapped Ed on the back of his shoulder.

Ed spun around and his heart fluttered with glee because Roy was actually touching him.

"Hi Roy! Did you like me? I saw you in the crowd!"

Roy blushed and said, "Well, actually, yes! I did enjoy your performance. I just wanted to know if you would join me for dinner tonight."

Without hesitation, Ed yelled, "YES! OF COURSE! I WOULD LOVE TO JOIN YOU! I'LL BE IN THE DINNING HALL IN FIFTEEN MINUTES!"

And with anticipation, Ed ran back to his dressing room and began to get ready for his semi-date with his ultimate love. As he was running back, he noticed that Roy had been blushing. Maybe he liked him too! Oh, this was too good!

Roy waited impatiently inside the vast dinning hall, sitting at the head of the table, dinner set out and two very large candlesticks in the middle. Suddenly the door swung open and there was Ed.

"Hiya Roy! Edward Elric has arrived!"

"Oh hi Ed! Glad you could make it. You can sit wherever you want…Ed?"

But Ed was frozen at the other end of the table.

"Ed are you alright?" Roy asked, concerned and confused at the same time.

"Fi-Fi-FIRE!" Ed screamed, and jumped onto the table and slid full speed into Roy, clutching a lit candle.

"Woah!" Roy said, as Ed fell on him and Ed accidentally kissed him on the lips.

Roy and Ed both blushed, silent for a few moments, still in the embrace.

Roy pushed Ed off him and patted the dirt from his pants.

Ed stared at the fire in a total trance, but dropped it and stared at Roy. Still blushing, he smiled.

"Roy, I'm sorry but…there's something I need to tell you."

Roy stared at him surprised. He blushed and stepped toward Ed, now only a couple of inches away from him.

"What is it Full Metal?" Roy asked cautiously, thinking he already knew what Ed was going to say.

"Well, the truth is…I came to the surface because…"

Ed paused and grabbed Roy's hands and brought him very close to him.

"I came because…because…I love you…"

WILL CONTINUE IN CHAPTER 5!

PILLZ-ExXtheXxalchemist: No, this is not the end if you didn't read my note above. Will Winry find Ed? Will Roy and Ed ever find happiness? Will Lust ever get the perfect breast job? All of these questions and more will be answered in Chapter 5 of: The Little Mer-Alchemist! Also, Hohenheim comes into the story. Chapter 5 might be the final chapter, so don't miss it!