The Little Mer-Alchemist Chapter 5: FIANLE

The wedding of...WHO!

PILLZ-ExXtheXxalchemist377: T-T yes! The romantic ending of Little Mer-Alchemist! So sad…surprise ending! Hehehe….0 Enjoy the final chapter of…THE LITTLE MER-ALCHEMIST! Mushy beginning but gets A LOT funnier later on. (Middle sorta weird, but REALLY funny scene.) ENJOY!

When we left off…

"Because…I love you…" Ed said softly, a pulled Roy into a kiss.

Roy was half stunned, half overjoyed. He loved Edward with all of his heart, and now they could be together since he knew his true feelings.

"Edward…I…love you also…" Roy said when the kiss was over. They stared into each other's eyes blushing.

Finally, Ed grabbed Roy's arm and said, "Come on." Pulling him through the back door unto the beach. The two sat down right on the shoreline, and sat by some rocks that made a sort of wall that over looked the sea.

"Now you can be mine forever." Edward said as they both sat down, staring longingly into each other's eyes.

"Ed…there's something I need to tell you…" Roy said blushing.

He whispered something into Edward's ear.

Ed gave a caring smile.

"Don't worry. I'm one too, and it's my first time, but I want it to be with you."

And with that they both started getting completely undressed and…

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(DUE TO THE GRAPHIC EXPLANATIONS OF THE NEXT SCENE, WE WILL EXPLAIN WHAT WIRNY WAS DOING WHEN ENVY FINALLY WOKE UP.)

Meanwhile, Envy had finally regained consciousness, and had an ice pack on her head.

Envy popped vein "Bitch…" she muttered.

Winry shook Envy wildly, screaming, "THERES NO TIME FOR THIS! I have to tell you my plan that you NEED to help me with!"

"I can't believe you're going to kidnap Niisan and Roy…" Al said softly.

"Ok, fine! I'll help you with your stupid plan. What do you need me for?" Envy asked in an annoyed tone.

Winry smiled diabolically. "You need to send me to the surface!"

Envy sweat drop "Idiot…you could've asked that bastard Hohenheim to send you up with a gyser…CURSE YOU HOHENHEIM!"

Envy then shook her fist at the fish that wanted to make it's home in Wirny's gaping mouth. The fish just swam there, but then revealed razor-sharp teeth, and attached itself to Envy's hand.

"HOLY SHIT! OW! OWOWOWOWOW! GET OFF OF ME YOU ASSHOLE!"

Envy screamed in pain and anger and swam around her lair, frantically trying to get the fish off.

Al & Winry sweat drop "Um…I guess will be going now…" Al and Winry said in sync, and fled the Sea Bitch's lair, hearing curses and things breaking on their way out.

Inside the Royal Family Castle, a depressed Hohenheim was sitting on his throne.

"Sigh…where is my son? Then again, do I really care?"

"SIR! I NEED TO KIDNAP ED! HE'S GAY AND WANTS SOME ACTION FROM SOME HUMAN NAMED ROY!"

Winry burst into the castle, scaring the shit out of Hohenheim in the process.

Hohenheim sweat drop "Um…hello Wirny. You say Edward is chasing after some guy? You mean he's gay?"

Winry nodded her head.

"I knew it." Hohenheim said with a smile.

Winry smacked him in the face.

"IDIOT! I NEED to marry him and have children! Do I have to explain this to EVERYONE? Anyway, give me passage to the surface.

Hohenheim, extremely afraid of the deranged fan-girl, gave her permission.

"Just don't kill anyone…" Hohenheim said, softly.

Winry popped vein "What did you say?" Winry screamed, and smashed Hohenheim's head with a wrench.

"…nn…" Hohenheim mumbled, and passed out with a large red bump on his head, as Wirny started her journey to the surface.

(NOW WE CAN RESUME THE SCENE THAT WAS CUT-OFF DUE TO GRAPHIC NATURE AND VERY NAUGHTY…UM…POSES. THANK YOU.)

Ed was lying next to Roy, both of them naked. He was breathing heavily, with a grin on his face and blushing.

"That was superb." Roy said dreamily, looking at Edward and smiling.

But just then Edward heard a familiar sound across the ocean. It was the sound of a gyser.

"Oh no. Not her…!" Edward said nervously.

"What's wrong Ed?" Roy asked concered.

Ed frantically turned to Roy and screamed, "Run bastard! Run before it's to-"

"THERE YOU ARE MY SEX TOY!"

Ed and Roy froze as they saw Winry emerge on the sea atop a gyser.

Winry blushing "EDWARD ELRIC! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES! YOU CAN ONLY STRIP BARE FOR ME! Wait, why is he with you…!"

Suddenly Winry's eyes turned into flames, and she was steaming.

"Oh! U-um h-hi W-winry…t-this I-is Roy M-mustang…" Ed stammered in complete and utter terror.

"Ed, who's this crazy chicka?" Roy asked.

"That's Winry, a crazy fan-girl who wants me for herself…" Edward shuddered as he said this.

"EW! THAT IS SO WRONG! EDWARD, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY UNSOILED DOVE! AND THEN YOU GO OFF WITH THIS CRAZY BASTARD!"

Roy stood up, a blanket that was covering the two alchemists fell to the ground.

"Ooo…" Ed said staring.

"Listen up you crazy bitch." Roy said, putting on his white gloves.

"Leave my lover alone!" With that he pulled the short alchemist up and kissed him on the lips. Then, he snapped his fingers, and in a sheet of flame, the gyser evaporated.

"AH! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! AND DON'T TRY TO GET WITH MY SEXY BOY!" Winry said.

Hovering in the air for a couple of seconds, she looked down.

"Oh shit." She said, and fell into the ocean.

But she quickly poked her head out of the water, and still extremely upset, she chanted a spell.

Suddenly, Ed was shrouded in a sheath of sparkles.

After about a few seconds, he had a mermaid tail again, but half was auto-mail.

"No! Edward!" Roy said, reaching for him. But suddenly he had a tail two!

"Now, here's what I'll do. I'm marrying Ed today, and kidnapping you. GOT IT? It's foolproof, because I'm having Al be the bodyguard. Now come on hot stuff…" Winry said, and kissed Edward.

Roy & Ed stress mark "AHH! IT BURNS!" Edward screamed, as they descended into the ocean.

Wirny was being fitted with a wedding dress.

"You look very…beautiful miss Wirny." A maid said hesitantly.

"THAT'S MRS. ELRIC to you from now on!" Winry said, and sighed blissfully.

"This is the best day of my life…" she said

"This is the WORST day of my life…" Edward was in a room putting on a tuxedo. His worst nightmare had come true. Well, second worst. His worse nightmare was that pink bunnies took over the world and made pole dancing illegal.

Ed shudder "ugh…bunnies…" he said.

"But that's the least of my problems…sigh…I wonder how my sweet Roy is doing."

Inside a solitary room, Roy was in a cage being guarded by Al.

"God Damn it you stupid walking toaster! I don't know what's inside of you, but whatever it is, your gonna let me out!" Roy said, snapping his fingers even though he knew it wouldn't work.

"I'm sorry! Winry commanded me to watch you, and if I did something against her…"

Al sweat drop

"Wait, are you Ed's brother?" Roy asked, knowing that strange questions was the only thing he could do (and think of) to help him now.

"Yes! He is my brother. How did you know?"

Suddenly Roy thought of an idea. Guilt trip.

"Well, you know Ed apparently doesn't love Wirny. Your letting him throw his life away because you're afraid! What kind of brother are you…" Roy shook his head in displeasure.

Al thought for a second. "He's right. He's my brother, and how can I do this to him? Oh crap…(un-al like) he's using the guilt trip! No fair!"

Finally, Al caved in and said, "Ok! I'll let you out. Hold on, let me get the key…"

Al then took off his head and stuck his hand in the hole where his head used to be, searching for the keys in his empty hulk.

Roy fell backwards in shock.

"How the hell are you doing that? There's no one inside of there! And you TOOK OFF YOUR HEAD!"

Al ignored the shocked Roy and pulled out a small key.

"Well, actually, there IS a story behind that, but since were already in one, it would take to long to tell a story within a story."

"Okay then…" Roy said, not understanding a word he just said.

Al finally turned the key in the lock and the door swung open.

"I'm free! Now I have to save Ed!" Roy said, and was just about to swim to the rescue when Al stopped him.

"You might want to put some clothing on…" Al said, handing him a tuxedo.

Roy looked down and blushed, remembering he was still naked. He grabbed the tux and changed quickly.

"Thanks again." He called, and raced out, following signs that said:

TO WINRY AND EDWARD'S WEDDING.

Edward and Wirny were standing together in front of the priest…Pride!

"And do you, Edward Elric, take Winry to be your wife?"

Ed paused for a second and said, "Well…" but Winry hit him over the head with a wrench and, almost crying said, "…yes"

"If anyone has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

Suddenly, Roy came bursting through the door and shouted,

"YES! BECAUSE ED REALLY LOVES ME, ROY MUSTANG!"

Ed's face brightened up and he shouted, "ROY! You've come to rescue me!"

Ed ran toward Roy, and they kissed each other.

A gasp arose from the crowd, but then applause.

"Well, looks like we are having a wedding after all!" Pride said.

"Make that two weddings!" Al, with his normal body, came in holding hands with…ENVY!"

Everyone sweat drop "How did you get your body back Al?" Edward asked.

"Envy gave me back my body. She's so sweet…" and with that Al and Envy kissed. (Me:…EW! Hehe…funny though…')

And so, Roy and Edward were married, and so were Alphonse and Envy.

"Ok, this family is WEIRD and SICK! I'm leaving!" Winry had been sulking in the corner at the post-wedding party and had left for good.

AND THEY ALL LIVED…UM…HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

The End

PILLZ-ExXtheXxalchemist377: WOOHOO! My first story complete! I hope you all liked it! PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks to my reviewers for their everlasting support. PILLZ FOR ALL!

Melissa: So? What did you think of my parody?

Ed:…um…why did Al marry ENVY! ENVY OF ALL PEOPLE!

Envy: HEY! I'm as attractive as anyone! Besides, I'm a pretty girl…

Me & Ed: oo'