Disclaimer: I don't own "All I Know"; that too belongs to Kelly Clarkson. Though I did make very, very minor changes.
And a huge thanks to : thatgirlyoucantrust;mazkalns ; intheclosetromanticfor continuing to review & also adding me to alerts!
PART FOUR: All I Know
" Happy Birthday," he said quietly, and he immediately regretted it.
Her eyes blazed, and she took a deep breath, ready to explode at him.
But her words were calm, " Why are you here?"
He almost didn't want to answer; he didn't want to fight with her, he just wanted things to be better, and he knew whichever answer he gave, it would be the wrong one.
"I've missed you…" he started. He was right; wrong answer.
"Oh, you've missed me? That's your own damn fault, Tommy, YOU LEFT! You left all of us; you didn't even keep in contact. You answered NONE of my calls. I must have left you 150 messages all in one night. Why don't you get back to your 'personal business', huh?"
"Jude, you don't understand-"
"No shit I don't, Quincy. You wouldn't let me! I tried to talk to you, I tried to ask what was wrong, but what did you do? Drove away. Caught your plane. Ignored my calls."
"Jude, I couldn't. It was all too much at once; I had to leave."
"Fine, okay. Say I understand that you left. That doesn't mean you couldn't call. And even if you couldn't talk to me, what about Kwest? What about your best friend, Tommy! You couldn't talk to him, either? You left us! Both of us, and you think it's just fine to come back when you feel ready; when things are fine for you. Well guess what, we don't want you back. We don't need you," she spat angrily.
" If I hadn't seen your performance, I might think that were true…" he said quietly, taking a step forward.
"I know you miss me Jude. And I missed you more than anything. Just give me one last chance; I swear, I won't screw up."
"Your words mean nothing to me, Quincy," she said, but the anger was gone and the words were choked coming out. He saw tears forming and immediately reached to brush them off her cheeks.
"And you mean everything to me, Jude, so please, hear me out."
She stayed silent, scared to talk, scared to ruin the moment. He was opening up to her, and though she had waited years for him to openly tell her how he felt, he chose the complete wrong time to do it. She suddenly remembered Kwest, and his words to her.
She realized immediately the bind she was in; if Tommy really was here for another chance, didn't she owe it to herself to see if it could work? And if so, what about Kwest?
She nodded, agreeing to at least listen to what he had to say. And just as she was preparing herself for his words, he turned and walked away.
She stood there, shocked. Didn't he just tell her he had to talk to her? Didn't he just beg for another chance? And now he was leaving?
She turned around, entering the balcony and sitting in the seat next to Kwest.
"So?" he asked, dejectedly.
"He asked for another chance. He asked for me to hear him out, to explain… And I said okay."
"And what was his excuse?" he asked curiously.
"He walked away."
"What?"
"He turned and left. I really don't understand this time, Kwest. I just want him to leave for good," she was so tired, physically and psychologically
"No, you don't." Kwest said sadly. "I know you don't, because I don't either. As much as I hate that he came back today, when I finally got to tell you how I feel, I've missed my best friend. And you've missed him too, probably more than I have."
The door opened, and they both turned to see Tommy standing there, holding his guitar, surprised at Kwest's presence.
The awkwardness that filled the room was nearly unbearable, until finally, Kwest stood up and embraced Tommy in a half-hug.
"We missed you, man. I'll let you guys talk." he looked pointedly at Jude, winked, and walked out.
She sighed heavily, watching him leave. She had never been so torn in her life.
"So you couldn't just say, 'Let me grab my guitar', you had to make a point to walk away again, or what?" she asked bitterly.
"Jude, please?" he really hated how much she was hurting, and he needed her to have an open mind.
He took a seat in front of her, and carefully started playing.
For all I know, you could be near
For all I know your just a though across my mind,
What I wouldn't give
To live that thought of mine
For all I know
Nothing has changed
Nothing ever will
If I don't leave this place
For all I know
You're waiting for me
To whisper your name
What I wouldn't give
To kiss your sweet face
Cause all I know is I need you here
And all I have
I would give away so I could say this dear
All I fear
All I've tried so hard to not feel
Is killing me
She'd rarely seen him so passionate about any song, and she'd never heard him play one he wrote himself, especially not one about her. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing, and she wanted so badly to turn back time and un-agree to hear him out. She couldn't handle him pouring his heart to her; it was always the other way around.
For all I know
You've forgotten me
For all I know
You're different
Completely
And everything we had
Was never what I thought it was
But for all I know, before it was love
His voice was rough and she could tell he was fighting back tears; she couldn't fathom the idea of him talking about their relationship possibly being love. Yes, she knew she loved him. But him loving her? It seemed unreal. She would have bet any amount of money she was dreaming, and she wasn't sure if that would be better or worse than it being a reality.
Cause all I know
Is I need you here
All I have I would give away so I could say this dear
All I've feared
All I tried so hard to not feel
Is killing me
Now everyone has a name
And every face always somehow looks the same
Oh I always feel so low
Especially when it rains
For all I know
Girl you feel the same
Yeah I didn't know that I needed her here
All I have I gave away cause I was too afraid to feel
All I feared
All I tried so hard to not feel
Is killing me
Is killing me
For all I know,
For all I know,
Oh, for all I know.
He finished and placed the guitar at his feet as he rose, pulling her up with him. He wiped the tears falling quickly down her face, and finally let one of his own escape.
" I love you, Jude," he said, staring straight into her wet eyes.
And before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her; the passion he put into his song he was now putting into this kiss: pure, raw, undying passion. And all she could think was that she wished too hard for a better release party than last year.
Okay, this layout turned out kinda weird? Idk what happened to it. Hopefully it's not too bad.
One more part left. And this is officially like the fastest fanfic in the history of ever. Seriously... five parts all in one night? Maybe I'll post the last one tomorrow... Probably not, haha.
Oh, and I love you reviewers. You're all making my night, especially those of you who are reviewing multiple times. So thanks again :-)
-Ashley