Author's Note: For some reason this site continues to take out whatever I use to make a break between scenes. If you notice that there is no page breaks, please shoot me a private message or comment on the chapter you've encountered it with and I'll try to replace the text. Thanks! -dkc

I knew the second I saw the finalists for the Mandy awards that I was going to have to garner some courage to interact with Jane again. I knew I had hurt her. However, I didn't anticipate how uncomfortable it would be between us. Even the flowers I sent to her home to congratulate her weren't enough to deaden that discomfort.

I dressed to impress in power red. I even gave myself a pep talk in the car on my way to the photoshoot. The other finalists were scheduled at different times which left Jane and I alone to be photographed for the Mandy award ceremony program as well as other promotional materials.

I looked at her and I felt a pang of guilt. She mentioned she had a meeting beforehand with an editor. I could tell her heart wasn't in it. Talking it up, she wanted me to see her thriving. Maybe she wanted me to not hate myself for refusing to hire her back. I complimented her on making the freelancing life work for her as a way to soften the blow of not re-hiring her. That didn't fix it. And what she hadn't said was how poorly interviews were going when editors realized she was that writer who flamed out on New York 14.

She was writing a follow up to my story for the Daily Review, the angle of which had nothing to do with me at all. It sounded promising and I enjoyed her enthusiasm.

"I am happy to see you happy, Jane," I spoke sincerely even though I knew how torn I was about all things Jane.

My being torn wasn't helped by the impossibility of not noticing her notice me. She took in what I was wearing and more than once glanced at the high slit in my skirt. While I did wear red on days I needed an extra boost of strength, the slit hadn't been intentional even though I was previously aware that it made my legs look especially good.

We stood close together. We sat close together. We took stuttering breaths together.

And then it was over.

For all the lead up, the photoshoot with Jane was short and we weren't forced to make much small talk. We also didn't have time for me to fully apologize for things I regretted saying at our last meeting.

I had another engagement and announced as much. We said we would see each other at the awards dinner and left it at that. I would have to wait until I could again be in her presence. Perhaps then I could find it in me to admit to being all over the place where her employment was concerned. If I did that, I would have to admit it wasn't my professional position alone that had me so torn up.

Those few days between seeing her and the awards dinner felt like an eternity.

###

"Kat? Do you have a second?" I poked my head out the door of my office to ask.

She cheerfully made her way across the bullpen and followed me in. I closed the door behind us and motioned to a chair.

"What can I do for you, Jacqueline?" she smiled broadly.

"Be honest with me. How is Jane really?"

I remained standing, leaning against the front of my desk, but refraining from folding my arms as I didn't want her to be intimidated or feel obligated to speak.

"Professionally or personally?" Kat asked.

"Both?" I phrased it as a question because I wasn't sure if either were any of my business or which I wanted to know more.

"The announcement of the Mandy finalists has opened a few doors for her. She seems to be finally lining up work. That has taken a bit of the pressure off. What else would you like to know?"

Kat crossed and then uncrossed her leg. She wasn't uncomfortable talking to her boss like this so much as she appeared to fear revealing too much to me. Her best friend had been very hurt when she had bravely come to me to ask for her job back. It was understandable.

"I had my reasons for saying no, Kat. I won't justify them. I want to know that she is going to rebound. Whether or not she works for me, I care for Jane."

"And she knows that, Jacqueline," she nodded.

I hoped that was true.

"Will you be at the awards dinner?" I asked my social media manager.

"Jane told us not to worry about it. Adena is in town and Sutton has… Anyway, no."

I raised an eyebrow at this. It surprised me that they wouldn't be there for their closest friend.

"I know. The stubborn runs deep with that one. I hope you have a nice time. It's as much your nomination as hers, Jacqueline. Both as her editor and as the subject of her piece. In fact, if she had it her way, it would be all yours."

She stood and offered me a smile.

"Thank you, Kat," I said to her as she made her way to the door.

"Hey, Jacqueline?" she looked back and waited for me to nod. "You have her phone number. You can always call or text her. She would love hearing from you."

Kat left me to stew on that.

###

I spent an unusual amount of time getting ready for the dinner. I had a messenger deliver my dress to the loft where I could get ready at my own pace, though I had considered doing so at the office to avoid any reproachful looks or comments from Ian. As it turned out, Ian wasn't even home.

The soft music I put on hardly matched my mood as I seethed over his response to all of this and his absolute refusal to go to the dinner with me. I shouldn't have been surprised that he wouldn't accompany me. It still stung. Neither of the boys knew where he was. This had become a fairly frequent occurrence of late. When I thought about what this might mean, I tried to talk myself out of what I believed, but the truth was, I knew my marriage was ending. We were not going to weather this.

"Mom?" I heard my eldest's voice from the bedroom door and poked my head out of the master bathroom door to let him know it was safe to enter.

"Hey, kiddo. Is everything okay?" I said to him, waving him closer. I needed to continue on with my hair and makeup.

"Will you be out late?" he asked.

"I shouldn't be, no. It's an awards dinner. Once the awards are given out, I will come straight home. Will you be okay with your brother? If you want me to stay, I will," I said as I blotted my lipstick.

"No, you go. It's important that you do this." He looked introspective and sober. "I am sure it wasn't easy to tell people about what happened to you."

"You're right, it wasn't," I sighed.

"I am really glad you are my mom."

"Oh, sweetie," I stood and pulled him into a hug. "You and your brother are the two greatest things in my life."

"What about dad?" he said as he pulled away.

"I… Yes, your dad is important to me, too."

"Are you getting a divorce?" James was blunt and I knew equally capable of handling the truth.

"I really don't know, baby. I wish I did. I am sorry that you have had to listen to your dad and I arguing recently. You know we both love you, right?" I pressed a kiss to his forehead and he immediately wiped the lipstick off.

"He should be proud of you, too, mom."

"Thank you, honey," I hugged him again. "I won't be too late tonight. You can call me at any time. If I don't answer immediately, I will sneak away and call you back."

He nodded and smiled before leaving me. As soon as he was out of earshot, a barely stifled sob hit me. I began again on my makeup.

###

Flying solo to the event, I was quite grateful that Richard and his charming new girlfriend offered to pick me up.

"Jacqueline, is everything okay?" Richard's voice caught me as I was drifting away into thoughts I really shouldn't have been lost in about Jane. Turning slightly in my seat as we sat in typical Manhattan traffic, I shrugged.

"Of course."

Richard looked to his date in the passenger seat and they exchanged a look.

"Cone of silence," she promised.

"The board has agreed to hear your appeal for the salary line to be reinstated, paving the way for Jane to return. I thought you would be pleased. Is there something else?" he asked.

"Would you think less of me if I said I made the salary request far more for my own sake than Scarlet's?" I looked up at him in the rearview mirror.

I let out a shaky breath.

"Does she know that?" he looked at me with sincere, warm eyes that held no judgment.

"No, I would never tell her. She is good for the magazine and her talent earned my considering bringing her back."

"I know the two of you have become close, especially since she told your story so powerfully. I also know that you have needed support recently—support you haven't been getting from Ian," he spoke the truth, causing me to cringe. "If her friendship is what you need, that doesn't mean you are selfishly bringing her back into the fold. It is possible for you to need her support and the magazine need her voice."

He reached back and placed his hand on my knee. It was brief, though meaningful. I was lucky to count him among my friends.

"Thank you, Richard," I smiled softly.

His face gave away the fact that there was something he wasn't sharing.

"What is it?" I insisted he tell me.

"Jacqueline, this may not be my place, but I say this because I care about you: If the person who should be supporting you can't or won't, they don't deserve you. You are an amazing woman."

I gave his hand a squeeze as I blinked my eyes repeatedly to ward off tears. Whatever he knew, he seemed well informed. Richard had been my friend first. He and Ian had never really hit it off. However, he seemed to know something he could have only learned from my husband. There was a part of me that took pride in the fact that he was on my side. It was ridiculous. When I looked at him it was clear to me that he was in my corner and always would be. Richard Hunter is a good man.

"You're too kind, Richard. Thank you."

Good men are hard to find. Richard was one of them.

"Here we are."

Richard's announcement that we had arrived at the hotel where the awards dinner was taking place made me suddenly nauseous. Was I worried about the outcome? No, that didn't fit what I was feeling. Was I worried about the looks I might receive because I did not have my husband by my side? No, I had been to plenty of events without Ian or with Oliver beside me. I didn't think people would read too much into it. They certainly wouldn't read enough into it that it would be splashed on Page Six tomorrow.

I was worried about seeing Jane again. Yes, I had asked for the salary line back and yes, I was nearing asking her back. That didn't negate the fact that I had said things I wish I could take back. Primary among those regrets was my saying she had a lot of growing up to do. This was a woman who lost her mother to breast cancer at a young age. She had moved across the country on her own to take an internship that paid next to nothing, also at a very young age. I was badly out of line and I couldn't take my words back.

It wasn't the first time I had screwed up with Jane and it wouldn't be the last.

To be continued…