A/N:
Willowwind: The start of a new ficcie…what fun!
Legolas: Or…not.
Willowwind: Anyways, not really sure where this came from, but…well…read and enjoy, and don't forget to review! Whee! My first ficcie that isn't being co-authoressed!
Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or it's characters. But then, you knew that, didn't you?
Warnings: Er…extreme stupidity? I'm not too good at warnings….
The Secret Journal of Bakura the GreatChapter One
Hello, mere mortal. I am Bakura the Great. Or I will be when I succeed in my plot to take over the world. Until then, I am just Bakura, but that doesn't matter, because I have such a great plot, there is absolutely no way that I will not take over the world. I bet you're wondering what the plot is, right? Well, let's just say it involves a lot of a-bombs and gunpowder. It is such a good plan, it only has one flaw: I don't have any a-bombs and gunpowder, and Ryou-baka won't let me get any. He thinks I would hurt somebody with it. He might be right, but it would only be for the good of this earth. And believe me, this earth needs change. Bad. So I thought that I would be the one to bring it, since no one else is.
Why does this earth need change so badly, you ask? Well, I didn't realize it either, until hikari finally let me out of the house, and took me along with him to get some lunch and run a few errands. He probably wouldn't have taken me if I hadn't flooded the house the last time he left me alone. Once we were out of the house, I immediately noticed several problems with society:
1) There are too many people on this earth. With how cramped everything is, I'm surprised that we haven't broken into nuclear war just to get a little more elbow room. When I'm ruling earth, the first thing I'll do is kill over half the population. This will give everyone more space, and will also help to get rid of the stupid people.
2) What is with those post thingees? Whenever the light thing on them is red, everyone stops! When I rule the world, no one will take orders from a light post thingee.
3) When Ryou took me to some restaurant, I don't even remember what it was called, we both ordered steak sandwiches, and I asked for mine rare. And when I got it, guess what? The outside was BROWN! The outside of rare steak should not be brown. When I rule the world, everyone will know the difference between rare and medium. Also, when we were getting the food, my hikari paid for everything! And no one thought this was odd! I mean, do people actually make the serious mistake of paying for everything still? When I rule the world, that will be the first thing to go.
4) I was facing a window when we sat and ate, and the people who drove by the restaurant would always stop and talk to a post! Every last one of them did that! And Ryou didn't think it was weird! When I rule the world, NO ONE will be stupid enough to stop and talk to a post. It's not like it can talk back….
5) When I laughed at the people who were talking to the post, my oh-so-innocent hikari whacked me over the head with a tray! When I rule the world, NO ONE will whack me over the head with a tray. And if they do, I will whack them back. With something a little heavier than a tray, might I add.
6) After lunch, we went shopping, and we ran into the pharaoh's midget in one place. And I couldn't help but think, 'society accepts him, and he has hair like that?' When I rule the world, I will force everyone who I didn't kill off with weird hair to shave it all off, and then wear a sign that says 'Praise your ruler for making me shave off my weird hair', or some other such slogan.
7) When we finally got home, Ryou wanted to take a shower, so he told me not to touch the phone or open the door while he was busy. So, naturally, when the phone rang, I picked it up. It was Ryou's girlfriend, so I pretended to be my hikari, and I dumped her over the phone. I think hikari might be mad when he finds out. But that isn't the point right now. Someone knocked on the door, I opened it, because hikari told me not to, and it was this stupid maniac person asking for money to support some hospital or other. When I rule the world, hospitals will be gone, and if you're stupid enough to get sick, you can suffer. Naturally, I told the person at the door this, and then I knocked him out with his own clipboard. So far, this has been a fairly pleasing day….
8) Ryou found out that I answered the phone and opened the door while he was in the shower, so he made me clean the house. NO ONE makes me clean the house and lives…except for hikari. I'm not scared of him, but for some odd reason, I feel compelled to do whatever he wants when he glares at me. When I rule the world, I'll have servants to clean the house for me if hikari gets mad.
9)Ryou had some homework to do, so he was ignoring me. I don't like being ignored. So I set his work on fire to get some attention, AND HE MADE ME DO HIS HOMEWORK OVER AGAIN! I'm so misunderstood, it's scary. All I wanted was some attention! When I rule the world, everyone will understand me, and I'll always be the centre of attention, and everyone will love and respect me, and….
(HUGE scribble)
10) When I rule the world, hikaris will not be allowed to read over their yami's shoulder and then bang them over the head with a frying pan because of what they wrote.
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A/N:
Willowwind: Short. And weird.
Legolas: Not surprising, seeing as how it's coming from you.
Willowwind: I'll take that as a compliment, my dear muse. Now everybody review, or I'll set Ryou with his evil frying pan on you! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Legolas: -.- Ignore her. She had sugar.
Willowwind: MWEHEEHEEHEE!