-1A/N: I'm baaaack! The culprit that held me back… my sister's wedding! It was fun. She got married to a British guy who has the accent and everything! He's really funny and teases my sister by mocking her in a girly voice. I laugh every time. I had a lot to do with the planning and helping of organizing the wedding, so that's why I couldn't write anything these past two months. Sorry! But I'll get back into the swing of things now! Alright, I'm sure you're all wondering what happened with Shuichi at the end of that last chapter. The horrible, blood-curdling scream in the bathroom and stuff. So climactic! So cliffy-hangy! Eek! Well, here it is!

Chapter 11: Realization

"Y… Yuki…" The trembling boy brought his hands up to his mouth in horror. His eyes were glassy, like he had just witnessed the death of a loved one right before him.

Yuki had his share of gawking as well. He never thought it was that bad.

"Yuki…." Shuichi tried again, having a hard time getting the words out. "I… I can see them……. My bones… I can see my BONES!" The pop star started sobbing at that point and fell to his knees. He felt dizzy and was about to throw up if he didn't block the view of himself in the mirror from sight.

The blonde novelist had trouble comprehending the situation and just stood there, still staring at his lover on the floor like he was some kind of alien from another planet.

'It… it got…… that bad?' Yuki knew for sure that yesterday the boy was definitely NOT that skinny. What had happened in the last few hours! The diet couldn't have changed him that quickly in that small amount of time, could it?

The older man was brought back to the world of reality when he heard a monstrous sob from the singer in front of him. Slowly, as if he hardly knew the boy, Yuki crept closer to him and stretched his arms, embracing Shuichi lightly from behind.

"Shuichi…?"

The young man continued to hiccup and cry mercilessly and shook his head despairingly.

"Y-Yuki… how could I have let this happen to me? I… I didn't think it was this b-b-bad! What went wrong? I was just dieting, right? How could it have done this to me? I'm a monster; a skeleton! I look like I'm anorexic! I didn't want this Yuki! I didn't… I didn't think…." Shuichi couldn't hold back anymore and went into uncontrolled sobbing.

The author felt guilty. He knew that it was getting out of hand, so why didn't he put a stop to this sooner? How did he let him become like this? How could he not have noticed the signs? When they made lover at night, Yuki felt that Shuichi was indeed skinnier, but he was usually so lost in the heat and passion that he never focused his view clear enough to see what the boy really looked like without all those baggy clothes on. All this time, the vocalist had truly been starving himself to the brink of death without even knowing it. Or… had he known it?

"Shuichi…" the blonde tried to turn the bony Shuichi around, but what he received was tug by the boy indicating that he didn't want to face him.

"No… I don't want you seeing me like this. I'm so hideous… even I can't look at myself. I'm so stupid!" The musician stood his ground and cried even harder.

Without a sound, Yuki forcefully twisted the pop singer around, emitting a gasp from the other, and pulled Shuichi into his warm, inviting arms.

This, of course, confused the boy, thinking that Yuki would be mad at him or disgusted. Why instead was he getting a hug? Or maybe it was a goodbye hug? Was Yuki going to leave him? He couldn't bare to think of that…

The blonde whispered calmly into the smaller one's ear, "I don't think any differently of you… than when I did yesterday, or the day before, or even when I first realized how much I needed you. Shuichi Shindou, you are not a monster. You are mine, and I will do whatever it takes to nurse you back to health so that you can be happy and stop those tears falling down your face."

This was a bold declaration from the usually stoic man, and Shuichi was left stunned by his statement. It touched his heart in ways that anyone ever could. And he could tell… Yuki meant what he said.

After a moment pause, Shuichi hesitantly wrapped his arms around the novelist and began crying again, only softer and more sorrowful this time. The two lovers spent 10 minutes in that bathroom, holding one another and comforting each other to the best of their ability.

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Suguru had come over Hiro's house that night to talk about the situation with their lead singer. In the midst of their conversation, the guitarist had decided to call his friend and sort things out if they could. The green-haired boy sat on Hiro's bed all the while, listening as best he could to the words being transferred between what seemed like he and Yuki. Once the redheaded musician hung up, he turned to face the younger man and looked sorrowfully into his eyes.

"Well… I think we- or Shuichi himself actually- has finally gotten across to him."

"Really? Was it from what we said earlier?" Fujisaki asked curiously. Maybe they'd be able to get back to their music sooner than he thought.

"It's not that simple Suguru." Hiro sat down on the been bag opposite the bed. "That was Yuki-san on the other end that answered. He told me the whole story. Shuichi… took one good look at himself in the mirror today after he got home (he had his shirt off), and well… it wasn't pretty what he saw."

"How could he not notice it until now? He always looked fine on stage, but when we see him at work and stuff…"

"The lights and our own concentration at the concerts probably are what blinded us from seeing this sooner. Yuki-san tried to explain to me that something about Shuichi's diet was making him smaller and smaller by the day, even hours. I think that they're going to figure out what it is that's doing this to him." Hiro granted his friend a small smile of reassurance. "Don't worry though. Now that it's all out in the open, I think Yuki-san will take care of things from now on."

Suguru smiled as well. "I'm glad. I really want Shindou-san to get back to normal."

"I believe that he will get through this. Shuichi always does." The guitarist nodded to himself, confirming his statement.

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Back at Yuki's condo, the two had calmed down for a while now and were talking with one another in normal tones of voices. Shuichi had just told his lover about the TW pill he ordered in the newspaper, and how it had affected him over time. The novelist just sat and listened carefully to the boy while holding him close.

"And, you see, that's when I started feeling bad and getting all moody. I didn't know it was happening until Fujisaki had pointed it out this morning at practice. Which reminds me, that K is gonna kill me for running off like that…" The pink-haired pop star sweat dropped nervously.

Ignoring his last comment, Yuki pondered over the situation, and with a sigh, he responded, "Didn't you mom ever tell you not to take drugs?"

"B-but it wasn't a BAD drug, it was supposed to help people!"

"Yeah, it sure did, didn't it?" He raised an eyebrow at Shuichi. The boy sunk down into the couch cushions a little more, ashamed.

"Besides, you are supposed to ask your doctor first before taking any kind of strange or new pill and see if he recommends it… ESPECIALLY a drug from an ad in the newspaper." He emphasized.

"Well, I didn't know that, okay? I was desperate!" Shuichi attempted to defend his last bit of pride and self-esteem.

"Have you ever even heard or seen this pill anywhere on TV or in regular drug stores?" Yuki asked.

Shuichi didn't reply, knowing full well that the blonde had got him there. There went his last bit of pride and self-esteem out the window…

"Anyway…" The author changed the topic. "You're saying it only took ONE pill to make you like this?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Mm-hm. It's true! The thing did wonders on me in less than a week!"

"I think you mean 'blunders'. Yuki corrected.

"Well, everything was okay at first, but…"

"But then you found out that the thing is pretty much sucking out every living fat cell in your body, right?"

Shuichi fidgeted uncomfortably and said quietly. "You don't have to rub it in, you know."

"I'm just doing that so you can realize how stupid a mistake this was so you won't try anything like this again. You tend to get yourself in a bind a lot, but not something as big as this one." The writer shook his head and looked toward the wall on his right, facing away from Shuichi.

The pop star had never felt so dumb in his life. How come when Yuki was telling him these things, it all seemed so clear and true, but when HE was sorting it out, it would all turn out to be a big mess in the end?

Shuichi's train of thought was broken by his lover's gruff voice. "Well, it's too late to consult a doctor about this now, nor call one to see how we can fix you back up. We'll just have to wait until tomorrow morning and bring you in." The novelist kept staring at the wall.

Yuki was indeed concerned for the boy. Out of all the stupid, idiotic things he had to do, why this? And the bad thing was, it wouldn't stop. Shuichi just kept getting thinner and thinner by the days. How would he end up in another week? Hopefully, his questions would all be answered at the doctor's office tomorrow. Yuki couldn't bare to picture a skeleton Shuichi sitting in the corner of the room with flies swarming his rotting carcase…

"I'm sorry…" The soft voice cut through the tension of the air.

"What?" Yuki looked back at him.

"I said…" Shuichi buried his face into the older man's chest. "… I'm sorry I kept this from you. It… it was pretty much like lying to you the whole time. And I felt so bad for it…" Shuichi tried hard not to cry, but his barricade wouldn't hold long.

Yuki paused a moment, and with an emotionless expression, pulled his lover close into a cherishing hug. "Don't worry about it. I understand how irrational you can get. It's just part of being a brat." He had to lighten the ominous mood surrounding them somehow.

"Hey! I am not a brat!" Shuichi fought back with a playful pout on his face.

"Oh, so you ARE irrational, then?" The blonde grinned down at him.

"Yuki!" Shuichi whined and rest his head back onto the clothed abdomen.

"Whatever…" Yuki shook his head and held the boy a little longer until he finally decided to get up.

"Alright. We better get some sleep. Tomorrow we're going to get you some help from the doctor." He reminded the singer.

"Mm-hm. And I'll be back to normal! Guess I'll have to miss the shoot though…"

"Yeah. It's only a couple of days away, and you can't be there in this condition."

Shuichi frowned and snuggled deeper into the blonde. "I… I know now…"

Yuki smiled, and helped the boy up to head for the bedroom.

Shakily, the vocalist walked toward their room with the help of Yuki's arm on his back and hand in his.

Shuichi had gotten weaker.

Slowly, the writer lowered the boy into the left side of the bed and tucked him in tightly.

"'Night Yuki." The musician smiled tiredly up at the saffron eyes.

The author showed a small smile back at his lavender-eyed lover. "I'll be right beside you." He reassured him, and got ready for bed himself.

Once both were safely in the comfort of their sheets, Shuichi was the first to fall asleep, while Yuki followed after, back turned toward the wall and facing Shuichi's delicate form. He swiftly brushed his fingers over the nimble bones in the boy's cheeks and frowned slightly. The life was taken out of them, now cold and plain, not like they used to be, flushed and pretty. It ached to see Shuichi like this, but, withholding the small watery feeling at the back of his eyes, Yuki's lids closed into a heavy and restless sleep.

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Somehow during the night, Shuichi had managed to roll over onto his other side, facing away from his blonde lover. Yuki slowly woke up to find that the said boy, in fact, was not even in the bed with him. Groggily, the author propped himself on one elbow and rubbed his right eye, neglecting the other for the moment.

At first he saw the wall, and then, over to his left a little, was Shuichi. But not the cheerful, morning-person Shuichi he always knew.

No… this Shuichi was standing in a frigid position, both hands over his mouth and nose, eyes widened to their extent in horror and confusion, staring at an object in particular.

Yuki's brow furrowed.

Something wasn't right.

A/N: UH OH! What has happened and why is Shuichi so frightened all of a sudden? Well you'll find out next chapter, won't ya? That's right! Last chapter is up next, so don't miss it! I'd like for thank you all for participating in the encouragment of continuing this fic. It's taken me a while, but I've finally almost finished it. It'll be one of the many stories that I will (hopefully) finish soon. ALSO! Once I get done with the last chapter, there will be a little piece of information in the Author's Note about where I got the idea for this story, so read that afterwards! Oh, and a DEAR REVIEWERS will be there too, so look for your pen name! Thanks to all, and good night… until next time.