A/N:

Willowwind: (gasps) SORRYSORRYSORRY! I don't usually take this long in updating! And you've all been so nice and reviewed, too…. But, the truth is, I haven't had many ideas for this ficcie of late, and I still don't have very many, so this chapter will probably be a little shorter than normal. SOMEBODY NEEDS TO FEED ME SOME SUGAR!

Disclaimer: I own Yu-Gi-Oh! And the sky is green and pigs fly and it doesn't snow in Canada and I am perfectly sane and….

The Secret Journal of Bakura the Great
Chapter Two

This morning has been perfectly depressing. Hikari woke up in a bad mood again, and that's when the problem started. He woke up too early, so he caught me as I was trying to put pink hair dye in his shampoo. I was doing that out of pity. My poor little hikari hardly gets any attention at school, and that's what I was trying to fix. I mean, he'd get PLENTY of attention if his hair was bright pink, right? That's another problem with this world: if you try to fix things, Ryou will chase you around the house five times with his metal spatula, then force you to use the dyed shampoo on yourself. That's right. My hair is now bright pink. And it will most likely be that way until I can find where Ryou put the bleach.

And that's at what point I am now, sitting on the edge of Ryou's bed while he has a shower (with new shampoo, might I add, so all of my trouble has gone to waste). Oh, he's getting out now, so here comes the lecture. More later.

Later

I'll just scribble a quick note here while Ryou isn't looking. He gave me a half-hour lecture about finding a hobby, and being mean, and something else. I don't know what it was, I was busy trying to think up a new sch- I meanpl- I mean...idea to get my poor hikari some attention. At the moment, I am sitting in my hikari's…moving metal thingee…on my way to his school. Yes, that's right. My hikari is making me go to school with him. AND MY HAIR IS STILL PINK. This will be the start of a bad reputation, I think. And as the future ruler of the world, I cannot afford to have a reputation like this. I must think up a way out of this…. Let's see…I could blackmail Ryou into letting me go back home, or retreating into my soulroom…but he never listens to blackmail, and he still has his spatula. So…any other ideas? I could just go into my soulroom without asking permission, but I have a bad feeling about that…hikari would probably take off the Ring and never let me out again. And…is he looking? I don't think so. Even if he was, he'd probably have trouble understanding all the intellect in here. He's not to bright. Hm, I wonder why he's taking out his spatula, I mean, the only reason I could think of would be to

(scribble)

Oh. Rats.

During Class

Yes, that's right. I am in my hikari's English class. Who needs to learn English? Why couldn't we learn something more interesting, like Egyptian? Now there's a worthy language for studying. It's going on my list of 'Things to be Changed When I Rule the World'. Enough people speak English. We need some people educated in more important languages.

In other news, I'm beginning to get a bit nervous. Hikari is getting suspicious. His girlfriend wouldn't talk to him, for some insane reason. I think he suspects me. And people are staring at my hair. When I see someone doing this, I use my death glare on them. None of them are dead yet, unfortunately. When I rule the world, my death glare will bring death to all! All, I say! BWAHAHAHA…is Ryou reaching for that spatula again? Well, it's no use. He'd get in trouble if he used it in class. I win again! BWAHAHAHA…hikari's glaring at me. Make him stop! Oh, yes, I forgot, you are only a stupid, cheap little book that I sto- I mean...borrowed from a shop when I was out shopping with hikari. You can't stop his death glare.

Oh, now hikari is trying to tell me something through the mental link. Have to listen, hold on….

I am running away at lunch. And then I shall be beyond my evil hikari's grasp! But I can't, cause he won't let me! He's going to kill me! And that will be the end of the life of Bakura the Great, who had not yet risen to power! I'll never rule the world! This earth will never get the change it needs! Goodbye, life! It was nice knowing you!

Lunch

I have just realized something brilliant. I am a spirit. I am not alive. Hikari cannot kill me. I HAVE WON AGAIN! DO YOUR WORST! MUAHAHA…hikari's taking out that spatula again. Gotta run.

Math Class

I may be dead, but Ryou can still whack me with a spatula. I don't think that's very fair, do you? Oh, yes, you're just a stupid book. I should really stop asking your opinion. Oh, yes, and hikari has just figured out that I dumped his girlfriend for him. He explained everything to her, and now they're together again. My work has all been in vain. And now hikari is looking for me. But he will never find me. I am hiding under an empty desk. And…oh no, I think he's seen me. He's glaring at me. He's fingering the Ring. He's lifting the ring up. He's pulling the ring over his head, and

-

Willowwind: Need I explain the ending more?

Legolas: Maybe you should, some people might not get it.

Willowwind:Okay.When Ryou takes off theRing, the theory is that Bakura would be stuffed back into his soulroom, just like that. I don't know if it's true...I don't actually watch Yu-Gi-Oh, but I still love it anyways. (sigh)And to think, I wrote that and I wasn't on a sugar-high…so it's probably not as funny as the other one. I can't really tell. Too tired. Oh, and before you think of not reviewing, people, I would advise you to remember that Ryou has a new weapon….