A/N:
Willowwind: (sniffle) YOU GUYS LOVE ME! And I haven't updated for so long...I SOWWY! WAAAH! (tears) I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK! DON'T KILL ME! (runs away from mob, who are all chasing her with Ryou's evil spatula of doom)
Disclaimer: Don't own. You cannot sue me now. Muaha.
Warnings: Erm...VERYVERYVERY OOC characters? And when I say VERYVERYVERY, I mean VERYVERYVERYVERYVERY...
I'm going to do the 'replies to reviews' thing here, since you're all so nice. What? Stalling? No, of course not…what makes you think that? (shifty eyes)
Hazel-Beka: Evil Ryou and stupid Bakura…'tis fun!
Waffles4eva: WHEEEE! I LOVE YOU! Have a cookie. (holds out cookie)
RainOwl: I know. Weird, isn't it?
Nachzes-Black Rider: (sniffle) SORRY! For whatever it was I did...
BlackCharmgirl: (sweatdrops) Er, glad you liked it….
scottishwolf: Hehe, just WAIT AND SEE what I have planned as weapons for future chapters….
Sami: Don't worry, I like 'Kura' as much as the next person. I won't obliterate him. Kind of a weird thought, though….
Hui Xie: Thankies for the review! Your ficcie's good, too. Keep going!
Neko Fujoshi: Yes...green...shall have to remember that...
Thank you to the other reviewers who reviewed chapter one, whom I did not mention here.
Okay, now that I'm done stal-…I mean, REPLYING TO REVIEWS, let's start the ficcie.
Oh, yes, and Bakura's journal writing will be appearing in italics, as I'll be going into Bakura's POV in this chapter.
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The Secret Journal of Bakura the GreatChapter Three
I was just reading over my past few entries, and I have realized that I've been stalling for way too long. Something needs to be done, and soon. So, I have decided to make a list of everything that I think should be done before I can take over the world, and then do everything on it...only at night, though, because Ryou might find out otherwise. So, here is my list:
1.Get rid of those red-lights-that-make-people-stop thingees on the streets.
2.Find the bleach so I can have white hair again
3.Get my hands on gunpowder, guns, and a-bombs so I'll be able to carry out my plan later
4.Find a partner who'll help me with this
5.Kill whoever's ruling the world now
That's pretty much everything I can think of. The list might expand if I think up new stuff. And yes, I do need a partner...perhaps they could get some a-bombs, and Ryou wouldn't be able to get at them! Hmm...who to choose, though? It needs to be someone who I don't hate, so that'll be difficult. I'll have to let them rule under me if they help me take over. But I don't have to worry about that until later. The first thing I have to do is get rid of those stupid street thingees. How should I do that? Oh, yes, I remember, no more asking your opinion. You're just a stupid book. I'll figure out how to do it later. But I have to hide you now...hikari just got home, and he wants me to help carry the groceries in.
I closed the little, leather-bound book and stuffed it under my hikari's pillow, before running down the stairs at a breakneck pace. Ryou banned me from writing in my journal a week ago, and he might get mad if he figures out I've been writing in it again. Hmph, he always said that I should take up a hobby, and now that I did, he's telling me I can't do it. Anyways, as I raced down the stairs to help my oh-so-innocent hikari with the groceries, I tripped on something lying on the stairs and went hurtling down them. Only one thought ran through my head as I fell: 'Oh, so THAT'S how you do cartwheels...'
I landed at my hikari's feet at the bottom of the stairs. I looked up at him, and found him staring at me, one eyebrow raised.
"Yami, you weren't writing in that journal of yours again, were you?"
Mentally, I cursed. Perhaps he wasn't as stupid as he looked... "Er...no?"
"You better not have been. I'll check later. In the meantime..." he cocked his head towards the bag of groceries lying near the door. I rose to my feet, and made my way over to the bag.
Wait a moment. There was only one bag of groceries. And Ryou was holding something...but not the bag of groceries. "Ryou...WHAT did you get?"
My hikari smiled that innocent smile of his that always makes me want to puke. "Oh, just something I picked up at the pet store..."
"Oh. Okay." I grabbed the bag and started towards the kitchen before another thought hit me. "Erm...Ryou?"
"Hm?"
"We...don't have a pet."
Ryou's smile broadened. "We do now." He reached into the bag, and pulled out its contents: a white wire cage...and inside...
"A BUNNY?"
Ryou was looking pleased with himself. "Yes. A bunny." Then his self-satisfied smile died. He put the cage down, and crossed the distance between me and him in three strides. He grabbed my shirt collar, and glared up into my eyes. "And if I wake up one morning to find him mutilated, bleeding uncontrollably...even missing..." He trailed off, reaching down into the bag I was holding, and pulling out something. He brandished it slightly above my head, and my eyes widened slightly with fear.
It was...a...cutting board!
(A/N: Muahahaha! Ryou's new implement of doom! Bwahahahaha...okay, I shush now.)
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I had long since finished putting the groceries away, and I was now watching my hikari playing with his new pet, and trying to figure out a way to get rid of it and make it look like an accident. Ryou was oblivious to my glare, as he was cuddling the fluffy, white...thing, scratching it between the ears, and speaking to it in something that sounded a little too close to baby-talk for my comfort.
A few minutes later, he looked up and smiled, still not seeing my glare, then walked over to me and dumped the little furball into my arms. "Here, you can hold it!" I thought of dropping it, but Ryou was right there, and that...cutting board...was sitting on a counter near my hikari, within arm's reach. The little thing squirmed in my arms, then wriggled into them and fell asleep. Ryou smiled happily. "It likes you, Yami!"
I held it out at arm's length, and dropped it into my hikari's arms.
"It needs a name," he mused, stroking it between the ears thoughtfully.
I tried to be helpful. "Bunnicula? Rabid Kuriboh? Fluffball of Doom? Hairball?"
Before I knew what was happening, I had been dealt a solid whack over the head with my hikari's new cutting board. I fell back into a sitting position...which always hurts more than it looks like it does.
"Bakura, be nice. It needs a real name. Hmm..." Ryou scanned around, presumably looking for objects to help him. His eyes finally came to rest on my hair.
"I know! We can name it Bakura, after you!"
I sweatdropped. "Er...why?"
"Because," Ryou almost giggled, "You have bunny ears, just like it! Although yours are pink now, instead of white..." He gestured to those peculiar pieces of hair sticking out of the top of my head.
I was back on my feet in an instant. "Those are not bunny ears. Those are bat wings."
"No...they look more like bunny ears."
"Bat wings."
"Bunny ears."
"Bat wings."
"Bunny ears."
"Bat wings."
"Bat wings."
"Bunny ears."
My hikari smiled triumphantly as I mentally slapped myself. "There, now we both agree," he said, grinning, and, for a moment, I seriously considered throttling him, deciding against it at the last moment, when I saw the cutting board still in his hand. I turned and stormed over to my hikari's bedroom,and startedto slam the door, but stopped and shut it quietly when I remembered that slamming doors makes Ryou mad. I reached under his pillow and pulled out my journal, opening it to the page I had left off at. I began adding points to the list.
6.Get someone else to bring in the groceries for me
7.Get someone to clean the stairs so I won't trip
8.Kill every last bunny on the face of this earth
9.Dye my bat wings black so my hikari won't call them bunny ears
10.Get rid of every last cutting board on the face of this earth
I really must find some way to get rid of that bunny of my hikari's. How am I supposed to rule anything when I have a BUNNY named after me? I'm supposed to get cities and countries named after me, but nooo, I get bunnies. I suppose I could try taking the bunny out into the backyard and setting him on the grass to eat, then running him over with the lawnmower...maybe that would look accidental enough...or I could slip poison into his food...or maybe put lettuce and him into the microwave and turn it on high for ten minutes...I could say I was microwaving my lettuce and I didn't know how he got in there...or maybe
(HUGE scribble)
It's that cutting board again. Gotta run.
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A/N:
Willowwind: I hope that was okay...
Legolas: Of course it was. (coughNOTcough)
Willowwind: Aww, you're just saying that. I thought it was kinda funny...
Legolas: (snort)
Willowwind: See, he thought so, too. HAHAHA THE PLOT BUNNIES ATTACKED—LITERALLY! (ahem) Yes, Ryou just got one of the plot bunnies. I'm really fond of these little guys... (grabs plot bunny and pets it)
Plot Bunny: (makes little squeaking noises)
Willowwind: (chibi smile) Aren't they cute? Anyways, review, 'cause if Ryou doesn't get you, Bakura the bunny will! See ya!