Willowwind: Well...this is sooner than expected...
Legolas: (to reviewers) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Willowwind: That's right, actually. Because I got so many reviews, I decided to post early. I hope everyone's okay with that...
Legolas: No! We're NOT!
Willowwind: You are? Good. Well, here's the reviews:
Reviews:
Sami: Australian? Cool. You sounded Canadian, though. Whatever. Yeah, our Prime Minister's terrible, too. Seems to be a common trait among them. And Canadians are stereotyped to say "Eh?" all the time, but I don't... It just happens, I guess. And I really don't care whether the reviews are signed or anything like that...what I wanted to know was 'how are you always the first person to review my fic chappies when you don't get an author alert or anything?' Do you check every day or something? Your being on the other side of the planet might have SOMETHING to do with it...but I was just curious...
goku-ranko: Thanks for the review...and a bunny did WHAT? Okay...killer bunny on the loose...that's enough to give ANYONE a bad impression of bunnies, I guess.
random person: Well, I'm posting...soon enough for you? And Ryou is sort of evil in this fic...but congratulations! You are the first reviewer who figured out (or, at least, said so) that Bakura is making Ryou sound a lot eviler than he is! Cookie for you!
Computerfreak101: Serenity? O-KAY, that would be weird...evil Serenity. But then again, this whole fic was written with no other point than to be weird, so...yeah. But I already have somebody lined up to help Bakura. You'll see...(snickers).
Nachzes Black-Rider: Oh, they were yours? BAD CITRUS! (sprays bunnies with cinnamon and vanilla scents) There. Much better. And as to the number of ellipses without a period on the end...let's just say ff.n is squashing grammar and be done with it, shall we?
Ichigo: Yup. Ryou won't get you now...HEY, RYOU! GET BACK HERE WITH THOSE!
Captain Black Rum: That'd be funny...waking up with a bunny on your head... And I assure you, Bakura the bunny is quite safe...there's no need to go save him.
Waffles4eva: I read on your bio that your name still has the 4, so I put it back in. You spelled my name wrong when you thanked me there, by the way.
Yes, I got the hint. I reviewed. As to your questions...you'll see what happened to Bakura the bunny in this next chapter, a whole lot more than he has now, I haven't the faintest idea, probably a whole lot more psycho than he'll ever be (sorry, but us real people don't have much of a chance with anime characters), and yes, you did just 'type that aloud', whatever that's supposed to mean... And I assume your last comment means that I can borrow the tinfoil. Thankies! I used it in this chappie, too...
I agree...Ryou's cookies are good. Where do you think I keep getting all the cookies I keep giving out?
(Ryou is standing by an oven, wearing a "Kiss the cook" apron, and muttering something in Japanese)
Bakura helps him sometimes, but I'm saving those cookies for the flamers.
(blink) That was long...
Hui Xie: Thank you for the review that I'm SURE will be coming soon, right? (hand strays down to cutting board)
And this time, you all get...CHOCOLATE! If anyone doesn't like chocolate, they can always have a cookie. I'm sure Ryou-kun wouldn't mind making some more.
Ryou: (mutters) (death glare)
Willowwind: Anyways, now that I'm finished my rants, let's get on with the show!
Legolas: Why do you people always have to review? WHY!
Disclaimer: Don't own, and probably never will. BUT RYOU'S IMPLEMENTS OF DOOM ARE MINE! (ahem)
Warnings: Characters that are OOC almost to the point of being AU, much randomness, bleach, bunnies and kitchen accessories. Not for people who like sanity.
Nothing out of the ordinary...
The Secret Journal of Bakura the GreatChapter Five
I'm so happy. I'm not dead! Oh, wait. Yes, I am. Never mind. What I meant was that HIKARI DIDN'T KILL ME! He just whacked me a few times and made me make more posters, with him watching. But his plot to punish me backfired! While he was chasing me around the house, I spotted something. Something I've been wanting to see for a LONG – well, maybe not too long, but anyways – time. BLEACH! MY HAIR IS WHITE AGAIN! Now I just have to find where hikari put the dye, so I can dye my bat wings black. That'll be one thing off the list... I'm also still no closer to finding a partner than I was before. And Ryou is still ranting over that idiotic bunny he lost. Good riddance, I say. Oops, hikari's going to take me out to look for that bunny. How are we supposed to find a miniature little white fluffball by driving around through the streets of Domino? Rats. I did it again. NO MORE ASKING YOU QUESTIONS! There. Maybe I'll see it next time. Anyways, I have to go, so more later.
LaterThis time period has strange things going on, indeed. We drove around, looking for that thing that stole my name, and you know what? WE DIDN'T FIND IT. I'm quite relieved, but I still don't see why I had to waste over half my day looking for it. Then, for lunch, hikari said we didn't have time to stop anywhere, so we went to something called a "Drive-in", or some other such nonsense. And I learned something very important...
Those posts do talk back.
Seriously, we drove up to that little post thingee that I saw people speak to before, and Ryou rolls down the window and leans out, just like those other things. Then this voice comes out of the post! I immediately tried to defend my hikari from whatever demon-thing possessed this post, so I took this window-cleaner thing and whacked the post with it. It didn't even dent. So, I did the only thing I could...I sent the post and its voice to the Shadow Realm. Hikari was very mad, for some odd reason. I was trying to help! You know what he did then? HE ATTACKED ME WITH A SOUP LADLE! I was trying to save him! Stupid ungrateful hikari. See if I ever save him from talking posts again. Oh, yes, and I have to buy him a new window-cleaner thingee, because the old one broke when I whacked the post with it.
Anyways, when we got back home, hikari told me that I wasn't going out of the house for a long, long time. I asked him how I was supposed to help find Bakura the bunny if I couldn't leave, and he said I could stay near the telephone and answer any calls we get.
Ooh, this is going to be marvelous.
Ryou's coming now. Must hide you.
-
"Oh, er, hi, Ryou..."
"So, have there been any calls?"
"No, not yet."
"Okay. Well, I'm going out to look for Bakura, so you just stay here and wait by the phone. Oh, yes, and if I get my bunny back in little pieces, because you told some caller to run him over, there will be trouble." I looked to my hikari's side, and saw the soup ladle sticking out of his pocket. I gulped. "BIG trouble. Do you understand?"
All I could do was nod.
"Good. See you later, then!" With that, my hikari left.
I sat quietly by the telephone, trying to think up how to respond to any callers I might get. I couldn't tell them to kill it, because hikari said so. Maybe I should just tell them that it was the wrong bunny. But that's not very fun. Or maybe I should tell them they had the wrong number...oh, wait. I have a wonderful idea...
Not long after this, the phone rang. I picked it up, hoping I wouldn't start laughing maniacally before I could finish the conversation. "Hello! Domino Supermarket! How may I help you?" I asked, as sweetly as I could, what with the evil grin. I grinned wider as I heard the stuttered reply...something about 'the wrong number', and then a mumbled apology. "Quite alright," I said. "Bye!" I hung up and burst out laughing. However, I was expecting what came next, too. The phone rang again. This would be GOOD, I thought as I picked it up. "Hi, you've reached the Domino High School. May I help you?" I half-stuffed my fist into my mouth to keep from laughing out loud as I heard the same voice stutter the same thing, then hang up. Then came another ring. "Hi! Domino Pizza! Would you like to order?" This time, there was nothing but a click at the other end. I winced slightly through my smile as I fell out of my chair laughing.
I am SO evil.
Hours passed, and I didn't get any more phone calls. I sincerely hoped that person who was calling hadn't found the bunny, as hikari's posters had our address on them. It was getting late, and I was getting hungry, when I heard a strange sound. It was screechy, and I recognized it immediately.
It was the sound of Ryou's window opening.
Soon after came the sound of hikari's door creaking open.
Then a slight creak as someone or something came down the hall.
By now, I was panicking. I scanned around the kitchen, looking for something to save me. I couldn't see anything that would help. How did hikari find weapons in here so easily? I opened a random drawer, and saw something shiny. Not looking at what it was, I picked it up and held it in front of me, looking as threatening as possible, with my eyes about as wide as the Pharaoh's midget.
"D-don't come a-any c-closer! I-I have...some sh-shiny stuff!" I yelled, glancing at what I held. It was some paper-thin substance, but looked metallic. It made a funny noise when you shook it, too. How interesting. Unfortunately, my hikari chose that moment to walk in the door.
"You look about as threatening as a marshmallow," he told me, grinning. "But what are you doing with the tinfoil?"
"Shh! Somebody came in, and I'm defending myself!"
"With tinfoil?"
I never got a chance to reply, as the intruder came around the corner just then. I screamed and threw myself to the ground before I could see who it was, but I could hear my hikari's shout.
"BAKURA!"
I looked up tentatively. "Yes?"
Ryou rolled his eyes, while hugging something white. Something familiar....
Oh. No.
"I wasn't talking to you," my hikari informed me (although I was well aware of that already). "Bakura came back!"
"I noticed."
Ryou glared at me. "You sound disappointed." His hand strayed down to his soup ladle.
"D-disappointed? N-no, I'm r-really happy h-he's b-back."
"Good." With that, my hikari turned and made his way back to his room.
I reached under a couch cushion, pulled out my journal, and began to write.
-
Some things REALLY aren't fair. Why did Bakura have to come back? I'm also curious as to where he went, but we'll never know that now, will we? Gah. I did it again. Twice, actually. I really need to work on this. 'The journal is an inanimate object, and, therefore, cannot respond to my questions. Therefore, it is pointless to ask it anything, because you might as well go and speak to a brick wall...you'd get the same response. Not a post, though. Posts talk.' There we go. Hopefully I'll remember now.
I also am very disappointed that I didn't find a partner yet. Where should I look? I mean, I have a lot of fangirls who'd help me, but they'd want...something...for it, I'm sure. Girls these days... So who else am I supposed to ask? I'll look around at school tomorrow to see if I can find any likely people. I probably won't, though. Everyone there is so brain-dead from all the pointless information they receive that they'd be more or less useless as cohorts. I'm really lost as to whom to ask. But I will not ask you who I should try to get, because you are only a stupid book. So there.
In the meantime, I must think up a way to get rid of that bunny. I thought he'd done it by himself, but it seems he might need a little help in running away for good. Stupid bunny. I should scare it away. But how? I could set off firecrackers around it when Ryou's not home, but it would probably just sit there, plus hikari would find out...firecrackers leave burn marks on the carpet. I don't think he'd appreciate them. He didn't last time...but let's not get into that. Seriously, that guy has no sense of humour. Maybe I could help him with that...no. He wouldn't appreciate it. He never does. When I rule the world, everyone will appreciate me, and they'll all have a sense of humour, and
(scribble)
Agh. It's that soup ladle again. Why won't hikari just leave me alone?
Rats. I did it again.
-
Willowwind: (grin) There we go, another chapter finished.
Legolas: But not the story?
Willowwind: I should say not! We are looking at a VERY LONG story here, people!
Legolas: Help?
Willowwind: Aww, he loves it. I know he does.
Legolas: You wish.
Willowwind: You're forgetting about my authoress powers, dear muse. Just one little thought and...
Legolas: (does oliphaunt impression)
Willowwind: (grin) I know I'm evil.
Now, I have two things to ask/tell reviewers about:
1. WHO IS RYOU'S GIRLFRIEND?
Pick one of the below whom you think should be Ryou's girlfriend. I'll go with whoever the majority wants.
Serenity (actually not a bad pairing, but weird...)
Tea (I don't really like this, but if that's what the majority decides...)
OC (Do NOT tell me the name or the description! I'll give you a few options to choose from, if you do choose this. I don't want however many people review sending in descriptions of themselves, hoping they'll get written into the story)
2. CONTEST!
Whoever can guess who Bakura's companion is going to be will get...something. Haven't decided that yet. But I don't think it'll just be a cookie. Oh, and NACHZES BLACK-RIDER DOESN'T QUALIFY FOR THIS, BECAUSE I ALREADY TOLD HER WHO IT IS! And she can't tell anyone, either. If she does... (brandishes ladle threateningly) Other than that, anyone qualifies. But you'll have to give me some prize ideas. I have NO idea what to do. I could write a oneshot fic for you...or something...
There we go! Now review, because Ryou has quite a few weapons and he's not afraid to use them...
Flames will be given to Seto's BEWDs, or Joey's REBDs, depending on what colour they are.