Willowwind: This was supposed to be finished quite a while ago, but my muse ran off. (smacks Legolas upside the head)
Legolas: Ow! It's not my fault that your plot bunnies all died!
Willowwind: I guess not, but I need to blame somebody, and you're not allowed to leave. I even had to use my authoress powers to get you to come back! Bad Legolas! (smacks again) So...reviews!
Reviews:
Thief-Joelle: I actually like this fic too, which is odd for me. Anyhoo, hope you like this chappie!
person: Heh...I liked that line... I think I used tongs already, but thanks anyways!
Waffles4eva: (head inflates) Arghble! (squishes head down to normal size AGAIN) Thankies! Oh, and Bakura doesn't know where they are, so him talking through the mind link would be pointless. If Bakura-bunny goes to find Ryou and co., he can lead them back. So that was really the only way it'd work. Now let me ask you a question: would I honestly kill of a cute little bunny in a HUMOUR FIC?
Dying Angel Ryou: I go hyper on life. Thanks for reading!
Pikpik246: (sniffle) Well, if you really don't want me to come back...I WILL ANYWAYS! Mweeheehee... Why is your yami mad at you for going to school? That's required by the law. If it wasn't, this thing would probably update a lot faster...
Puzzlie: Yes, that last chapter was meant to be funnier than anything. This whole fic was, but you can't have an entirely humour fic and still have plot. So I have to settle for somewhere in the middle. Ah well...
DreamCherry66: (cries) You are mocking me and my tendency to say 'yesh'! (perks up) I dunno. Do you have an alarm clock?
pointe master: Do not worry. We are all crazy here.
PUNX13: I'm writing, I'm writing! Mwee flute! (prances around)
AssaianQueen: You changed your name. I do not understand it. And I'm insane too. So it's most likely a good thing you don't know me. Cause I scare people. And enjoy it.
Shikyo666: Thank you. Oh, and that song...never heard of it...is it rap? That's the only type of song I can't understand...
Bella The Unicorn: Mwee...thank you... (attempts to stop inflating head)
Nachzes Black-Rider: Oneshot will take a while... No! You cannot burn Bakura! I still need him for the fic! (grabs Bakura out of the flames) And I got the worm phrase from a friend at church. So steal away. Just say it isn't yours.
My Seto: Well, hope you had fun at camp. And insane Yami is ever so much fun to write. Just type the first random thing that pops into your head, and embellish a bit, and away you go...
person: No killing the reviewers, please. And have no fear. I am crazy too. And my head is swelling again.
BakaBakurasotherlady: Did I check your fic? (checks) No, I did not! But I have been busy, so I apologize. And I shall check it the moment I have some free time. And am not writing this.
Dragon-Charmer16: Fear not, I shall block any bullets sent my way with my telepathic shield of telepathicness...and being in a room with padded walls is fun. Cause you bounce off the walls! Wheeee! (In case you were wondering, no, I have never been in a room with padded walls. I wish I had.)
Computerfreak101: Mine head is permanently inflated. Thank you!
Ryuujin: Oh, I wouldn't bother running off. Bakura's too pathetic to manage much. It's the bunny you wanna watch out for. Thankies for your nice comments!
And that's it! Although, that phrasing might be a bit wrong... NINETEEN REVIEWS! DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY THAT IS? ALMOST TWENTY! NINETEEN! (dies)
Legolas: Yay! She died! (does the happy dance)
Willowwind: (springs back to life) Yes. When I get weird, he does too. Thank you sooooo much for all of your reviews! My head size tripled about five times in reading them! (is still attempting to squish it back down to normal) I can only hope this chapter lives up to the glory of the last one. Now, Legolas, do the disclaimer.
Legolas: She doesn't own anything except Bakura-bunny. And she doesn't even own its name. So there. And the warnings have not changed. If you are reading this and don't know what the warnings are, THEN GET BACK TO CHAPTER ONE!
Willowwind: Be nice, Legolas. ROLL FIC!
The Secret Journal of Bakura the Great
Chapter Fifteen
"...What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
"...Do you need a response?"
I glared at Kaiba. We were still locked in the room. Yami had started mumbling something about mushrooms while poking a spot on the wall, Mokuba had gone back to running around in circles, speaking so fast that no one could catch anything he said, I was trying to hack into the computer in the room, and Kaiba was standing around being useless. And annoying.
"I'm TRYING to get into their computer so we can figure out how to get out of here, of course!"
"...Oh, and I suppose it never occurred to you to turn the computer ON first."
"Yes, as a matter of fact, it did. I'm trying to find out how!"
"...You're wiggling the mouse around."
"...You never know..."
Kaiba rolled his eyes and poked a button. Instantly, the computer began to boot up. "You've never been on a computer before, have you?"
"Yes, I have! But it was already on!"
"And what made you think that moving the mouse would turn it on?"
"The screen would go black like that sometimes, and if you moved the..." I tried to remember what Kaiba had called it, "mouse...then it would go!"
"That would be the screensaver. And now, if you don't mind, I'll take over, as I'm the only one who knows what I'm doing." He shoved me out of the way and took over.
"I'm the only one who speaks Egyptian, and that's most likely what their password is in!"
"We don't need a password. It logs in automatically."
"Why don't you stop bothering me and do something useful?"
"Why don't you take your own advice?"
I couldn't think of a reply, so I glared and stomped off. Sitting down, I grabbed my journal and a pen, and began to write.
OoOoOoO
Kaiba's so mean. He thinks he knows what he's doing, but I bet he's gonna need a password. And then I won't give it to him. And then he'll ask the Pharaoh, and he'll have to type in 'mushroom' in Egyptian or something! And then I shall laugh! HA!
In the meantime, I really should do something about his little brother. The stupid kid is getting on my nerves...he's asking me for sugar now...NO I DO NOT HAVE ANY POCKY! LET GO OF MY BAT WINGS! THEY ARE NOT BUNNY EARS! GO AWAY!
Now resisting urge to either throttle him or send him to the Shadow Realm. Or possibly both. Hmm...
Good. He left. Now he's bothering Yami. And now Yami is screaming about paper in Egyptian. The noise... Maybe I should send MYSELF to the Shadow Realm. It's quiet there...dead boring, though.
So, here is my new plan: Wait for Kaiba to figure out how to get us out of here - or better yet, figure out myself and leave them all - then get out and run very far away from Ryou. Probably find some sort of deserted shack I can take over the world in. Of course, I'd have to find Bakura-bunny. What? NO! I don't need his help...he just makes a good decoy. And can fit through places I can't. Very useful. So there. I just need to get away from Ryou before I'm stuck in the Ring for six months again.
So...new update on the situation...the Priest is trying to pry little Kaiba off of his leg, the Pharaoh is poking the wall again, the bunny is who-knows-where, and I am scheming. All is well. Oh, lovely. Kaiba got Mokuba off. Now he'll be running around again...
Mind on the situation at hand, though. Kaiba won't let me on the computer. I need to find a way o
SCRIBBLE
Get off of me, you imbecile with long hair! I DO NOT HAVE ANY SUGAR! Someone give this kid some Ritalin...
I have to go before anyone suspects I'm writing in a journal.
OoOoOoO
Two pairs of amethyst eyes watched the screen closely. They were looking at the image from the security camera.
"I don't see much to worry about."
"Kaiba's booting up the computer, Yami..."
"And you know very well they won't find anything there but numerous links to that picture of Bakura and that bunny shaking hands."
"But what if they figure out how to hack through the barrier?"
"We'll deal with that if it happens. Which is doubtful, considering how stupid they've already proven themselves."
"Yami?"
"Have you any idea the amount of times they've looked straight at the directions out and missed it?"
"I suppose..."
"We have nothing to worry about."
OoOoOoO
Ryou glanced around for the umpteenth time, trying to find something that might lead him to his Yami, friend, and pet. Nothing.
"Are you sure he was coming here?" Téa asked uncertainly.
"I'm certain that this is where he wanted to come. He probably moved on from here earlier."
Joey and Tristan were asking passers-by if they had seen anyone with really weird hair around here recently. After receiving several "Yeah, you" answers, they rejoined the other two, looking discouraged.
"Anything?"
"Nope."
"Well then, I guess we have no choice but to give up."
Téa crossed her arms. "I'm not deserting Yugi. Let's wait here for a while. Maybe someone will be able to help..."
"I hop-WAH!" Ryou yelled, jumping as he felt something bite his leg. He whirled around, and saw a small black rabbit staring up at him with pink eyes. "Bakura!" The white-haired teen grabbed his pet and hugged it tightly.
"Hey, look! It's got a note!" Tristan grabbed the slip of paper from Bakura-bunny and read it to the group.
"The bunny can lead you to where we're being kept. Kindly get your moronic friends away from me before I'm driven completely insane. Kaiba."
Eyebrows were raised. "Kaiba's with them?"
Ryou shrugged and put Bakura-bunny down again. "Can you lead us to them?" The bunny nodded, and led them away.
OoOoOoO
New update: Mokuba is twirling the chair Kaiba's sitting in around in circles...and, for once, I'm glad the kid's here. Kaiba was giving a rather suspicious evil laugh before that...the Pharaoh is still poking the wall, but talking about daffodils now. I'm starting to fear for my sanity...
What am I talking about? That's been gone for years!
I hope Bakura-bunny gets back here soon...I want OUT! I MAY BE STUCK IN THE RING FOR YEARS, BUT AT LEAST I'LL BE ALONE!
Must go. Little Kaiba just got bored of tormenting his brother...
OoOoOoO
A short while later, Kaiba finished whatever he was doing. I hovered behind him while he attempted to read the Egyptian characters on the document he had found.
I poked him in the arm. "My turn, Kaiba." Grudgingly, he shifted over, and I scanned the page.
"Anything useful?"
I smirked. "Only for me. These are his world domination plans." As I had seen Ryou do many times, I pressed the little print icon at the top of the screen, and a sheet ejected itself from the machine beside me.
"And how do we get out of here?"
"I don't know! You found that page, not me!"
"That's the only thing on this computer, besides a whole bunch of links to you shaking hands with that little bunny!"
"Well, I can't help..." His words sunk in. "What?"
The smirk was back. "I'll show you." He closed the document, and I noticed the background of the screen was completely covered in links...or, rather, one link leading to the same page. He clicked on one, and an internet window popped up...
And there was the picture.
"Uh...that's...fake...I didn't..."
"Right..."
"Do you honestly think that I would..." I stopped as I heard a funny grating noise behind me.
Yami was standing next to a hole in the wall, that had apparently just opened, gibbering incoherently and pointing to a sign on the wall.
A fire exit sign. Written in both Japanese and Egyptian.
Mokuba bounced over to it and read it. "In case of fire, walk five paces to the left of this sign, and poke the wall 782 times. The escape will open up." He stared at it, and then burst out laughing, and fell over.
Yami was looking way too proud of himself.
OoOoOoO
Malik watched in alarm as the wall opened. "Yami! They're getting away! And Bakura has our plans!"
"What?" Yami Malik rushed over to the screen, in time to see the four people in the room exit.
"What should we do now, Yami?"
Yami Malik stayed silent for a while, thinking. Then... "Just let them go."
"But Yami, our plans..."
"Our plans depended upon their help. That's what we need to change. We need a plan that requires only us."
"...I suppose."
"Don't sound so disappointed. This isn't a defeat. It's a lesson."
OoOoOoO
Out on the lawn, directly in between a patch of mushrooms and a flower bed covered in daffodils, a trapdoor opened. Me and my company emerged, and Yami pointed next to us, looking proud again. "Mushroom."
We all sweatdropped.
The sound of running feet came behind us, and we all whirled around. There, looking very mad indeed, was my hikari.
Oh no...
"BAKURA!"
"...Yes, Ryou?"
"Explain. Now."
"Er...yes...well...you see...is that a plane?" I began to sprint, speeding up as I heard Ryou run after me. Something hit me on the side of the head, so I looked back, and the last thing I saw before I was forced into the ring was my hikari, wielding a banana.
OoOoOoO
Willowwind: ...Well...that sucked.
Legolas: I couldn't agree more.
Willowwind: And it was way too short.
Legolas: ...Our opinion differs there.
Willowwind: Meh. I've noticed a pattern...every funny chapter is followed by a not-so-funny one. And last one...well...that explains it!
Legolas: ...You're not really making sense, you know.
Willowwind: That's okay. I never do. And I'm SO sorry for the time it took to update this...I had major writer's block, and whenever I got a plot bunny, someone would kick me off the computer, and then I couldn't write...I've been working slowly but steadily on this for about two months now. So I have not forgotten about this.
Legolas: (smile) She's finally figured out when she's gonna end this thing!
Willowwind: Yes, actually. 20 chapters. Nice and round. And then...there will most likely be a sequel. I have a few plot bunnies for it already.
Legolas: No... (dies)
Willowwind: 'Ey, none of that!
Legolas: Why? WHY CAN YOU NEVER LET ME REST IN PEACE?
Willowwind: Shh. Now REVIEW, people! Even though it sucked! And flames will be used to toast marshmallows for s'mores for another one of my fics that you should all read! Bye! (goes poof)