Author notes:
Teehee! I'm so happy! -bounces around-
I've got my two reviewers back!
To Sazza: I admit I was just the tiniest bit worried you had lost interest, but please don't hurt your poor head! I can fully sympathize with internet or computer problems and I'm just glad you're back and still enjoying the story!
11. Obliviate
Harry took a deep breath as soon as he got out of the kitchen. Shaking slightly he quickly ran upstairs and dived in the room he and Ginny often hid out when Ron and Hermione were arguing again. Flopping on the couch he buried his head in his hands.
What the hell was wrong with him! There was no need to be this upset, what Bill had said actually rang true; he did often lead his friends into danger, he did always think he could save everyone. Hermione had even said so herself, claiming he had a saving-people thing. Arrogance, that was it, Snape was right, Harry really was arrogant.
"So this is the place you two always hang out," Harry looked up at that soft comment, when had Hermione gotten in?
"It's pretty nice," the girl walked forward, sitting down next to Harry on the couch.
"Yeah," Harry's voice came out all raspy sounding and he quickly cleared his throat, trying again, "yeah, it is, isn't it."
The room was rather small with only one candle to light it. There hang a portrait on the wall with a snoring guy on it, but Ginny had turned its face to the wall and covered it with a bedsheet for good measure, as the sound drove them both mad. The couch was old and nearly falling apart but they had put a nice looking blanket on it to cover that. The only other thing in the room was a moldy old carpet and a big standing clock, with seven hands and strange symbols instead of numbers on the face. There lived a small fury animal in the clock, that sometimes came out and scurried around in the room. Ginny insisted it was a mouse, but Harry had never seen a mouse with that much hair, let alone one with such a strange purple colored fur.
Still the room did look rather cozy and was a great place for hiding as the door was difficult to spot and most people just walked right past it.
"How did you know I was here?"
"Ginny told me," Hermione said simply, drawing her knees closer and holding them, "are you alright?"
"I'm fine," Harry snapped, "would be better if you just left me alone though."
"Too bad," Hermione said calmly, "I'm not going anywhere."
Harry risked a quick look at her, it surprised him she was being this calm, he had expected her to fuss over him and try to push him into 'talking about his feelings', at the very least he expected her to have plenty of comments on the matter.
As if reading his mind Hermione said, "Ginny made me realize I've been a bit of a bad friend lately, I'm trying to do better though."
"You haven't been a bad friend," Harry immediately denied, "did Ginny say you were?"
"No, but I can see you feel much more comfortable around her than me. You used to be able to confide in me, in both Ron and me," she gave Harry a sad look. "What changed, Harry?"
Harry blinked, unsure of what she wanted him to say, "uhm..."
But Hermione was already continuing, "I know things are different with Ginny, as your feelings for her are not the same as for us but..."
"I don't fancy Ginny," Harry sighed exasperated, "she just doesn't treat me like I'm weak."
"Neither do we!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Oh, yeah? Then why did you come here?" Harry challenged her, "I bet you thought I was going to break down or something. You are always checking up on me, always asking me: "are you alright?" He adopted a high-pitched voice to imitate her, "if you don't think I'm weak than why would you think I'm not alright? 'Cause guess what, Hermione I'm doing fine."
Hermione let out a tiny, soft "oh" and than fell silent, staring at her hands.
Harry sighed, "look, I'm sorry, you are a good friend and I know you mean well and are just worried about me. Let's just forget it, alright."
He went to stand up and leave when Hermione suddenly grasped his arm and gave him an intense look.
"I don't think you are weak. You are anything but weak," she insisted, "but you are the kind of person that bottles everything up inside, so yes, I worry about you. I worry that you have real nightmares about everything that has happened to you, I worry Voldemort sends you nightmares to make it worse, I worry you feel guilty for what happened to Sirius. Most of all I worry you might try to push us away, to solve it all on your own, because you want to protect us, or for some other stupid reason. It has nothing to do with you being weak, it's because I love you."
Harry stared at her, momentarily stunned at her sudden declaration, he didn't think anybody had ever told him they loved him. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it again when he couldn't think of anything, feeling uncomfortable warm he freed himself from Hermione's grasp and stepped away a bit. There was a slight burning behind his eyes, as if he was about to cry, which was of course ridiculous as he should be happy. He cleared his throat again and finally managed to get out the only right response, "I love you too."
>>>>>
"I still can't believe she managed to hide it. How could we not notice something was wrong?" Ron lay on his bed and stared forlornly at the ceiling, going over the past week in his head, trying to remember anything that might have given his mother away.
"Sure, she spend a lot more time in the kitchen than before but I thought that was just 'cause she was bored. She was the same as always, fussing over us and yelling at Fred and George."
"Give it up Ron," Ginny said exasperated, "you have been talking about it for ages, just accept the fact mum is a far better actress than we thought."
She was sitting on Harry's bed, rummaging through a box with old stuff from her.
Ron turned to face her, "but aren't you mad she never told us?"
Ginny shrugged, "not really, I think I would have done the same thing, no use in worrying everybody as long as you're not certain it is true," she grimaced when she found an old smelly sock in her box and threw it at Ron.
Dodging the sock easily he grabbed the nearest pillow and threw that at her, hitting her full on the face and making her drop the box on the floor.
"Oh great," Ginny snapped when the box fell upside down, scattering her stuff on the floor, glaring at Ron she went to pick them up, but her brother beat her to it.
"Why do you still keep all this rubbish?" He asked her, holding up her old baby pajama, he made a face at a rather wilted looking doll with only one leg and laughed at a crumpled, black burned toy lamb, "You even kept Laila! I thought you had thrown her away after I accidentally burned it."
Ginny hastily collected everything and stuffed in back in the box, "you're the one to talk, don't think I've forgotten Mr Fluffy."
Ron paled at the mention of his old toy.
"You carried it with you everywhere, even long after I stopped playing with Laila you still talked to it and offered it biscuits," Ginny said, grinning maliciousness, "so don't tempt me to tell this to Hermione or show her some nice juicy baby pictures of you."
"You're evil!" Ron accused.
"I know."
Ron lay back down on the bed, grumbling to himself about annoying baby sisters.
"Do you think Harry's alright?" He eventually asked after a long silence, "they've been away an awfully long time. Stupid Bill."
As if on cue, the door opened and a faintly embarrassed looking Harry stepped inside, followed by Hermione who appeared to have been crying.
Ron jumped up and was about to ask if they were alright when Ginny jumped up as well and stamped hard on his feet.
"Ow!" Ron yelled, rubbing his feet and glaring at his sister, "what did you-"
But Ginny gave him a warning look and talked right over his complain, "come sit down guys, I've got an idea. I remembered I had an old book lying around somewhere and I think we should try it out."
"Try what out?" Hermione asked curiously, sitting down next to Ginny.
"Try to become an animagus!" Ginny said exited.
"That's a bloody good idea!" Ron immediately said, getting exited as well, "we should have tried that years ago! Imagine those death-eaters faces if we would suddenly turn into a lion or something and crush them!"
Harry nodded, the idea of becoming an animagus definitely held a lot of appeal to him, and not only because of the advantage in a battle.
"That really is a good idea, but we don't have the ingredients here," Hermione said, "we can get it at Diagon Alley but we'll need to wait for that until we get our Hogwarts letter."
Ginny shook her head, "I know it's easier with a potion but it's not necessary, we can practice until we get those ingredients. Maybe we can make it work."
"How does it work anyway?" Harry asked, "I remember Remus saying it took my dad and Sirius years before they managed it."
"That was probably because they were really young when they started," Hermione explained, "it is much more difficult if your body is still growing, normally it takes about a year to fully complete the transformation once you've found your animal."
"To find this so called inner animal you need to find a way into your own mind," Ginny read aloud from the book she had found in her box, "this can be done by meditating and finding the inner balance needed for this. However for the untrained mind this is very difficult to manage and generally takes several years. Because of this William Prince invented the libermens potion which temporarily allows you to enter your mind and find your inner animal relatively easy."
"Than what's the point of trying it without using that potion?" Ron asked disappointed, "it will take years that way."
Ginny shrugged, "it's not like we've got anything better to do and maybe one of us can actually make it work."
"Besides, meditating is always good," Hermione added, "I've read a lot of books that say it clears your mind and helps you focus better."
"One of us will have to wait though," Ginny said, "according to the books there needs to be someone who keeps an eye out, in case something goes wrong."
"I will do that," Hermione volunteered, "now, everybody try to relax and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. Control your breathing, try to slow it down. Slower and slower..."
Feeling a bit silly Harry followed her orders, letting her voice lull over him.
"Now listen to your heartbeat, feel it. Focus on the sound and feel of your blood, streaming through your veins like a big river. You are that river... you are one with the river... don't try to fight it, just float along."
Slowly her voice faded away, and with that the whole world disappeared into nothingness.
>>>>>
"So now you know everything," Minerva said, sitting primly on her chair in Albus' office.
Albus stared out of the window, looking more tired and old than Minerva had ever seen him, but still there was a small sparkle of something in his eyes. She liked to think it was hope, if only because it gave her hope.
"What are you going to tell him?" She prompted him when he stayed silent.
"Nothing, for now."
"You can not possibly be serious!" Minerva exclaimed, sitting up straighter, "he needs to know!"
"This will put him even more danger," Albus said calmly, offering Minerva some tea which she angrily waved away.
"He is in danger whether you tell him or not," she snapped, "but if he knows he can use it to his advantage, if only he gets the change to learn."
Albus shook his head, sipping his tea, "there are things about this matter you are not aware off, I have my reasons, I won't tell him, and neither will you."
He moved faster than any tired, old man should allowed to, without even spilling his tea he got his wand out and threw a spell at the defenseless Minerva before she could even begin to comprehend what had happened.
"Obliviate."