A/N: Ok so after a faithful reviewer gave me some ideas as to what could be wrong with this, as I had wondered to myself why it didn't seem to flow. I have decided to give a little more thought maybe into it. More insight or something along those lines at least. Characters thoughts will be in regular italics from now on, and there will be a little more dialogue than the last chapter. Thanks as always for all of the reviews I love reading them. On with the chapter!
OoOoOEverything is perfect. Why was I trying to rush things? I just felt like we should be closer. I honestly do love him. I sometimes think that I love him more than I ever loved Dylan. Is that possible? After all Dylan had been my first everything. My first crush, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first fuck. Everything that we shared had been a first for me. I don't know how I could love anyone more than him, but then again I do. I love Tim more than Dylan. I think it is because I know that Tim loves me the same, and isn't going to just say it. He actually means what he says. He isn't going to go behind my back with god only knows how many other guys. I mean…I don't think he would do that anyways. How could he, as far as I know I am the first guy that Tim has ever been with or has every even thought about being with. That has to make him feel like I felt when I initially started my relationship with Dylan. Does he think I was like Dylan? Does he think I would go out and cheat on him? I hope not because I know that I never would. I would never dream of doing that to anyone. Look at me lay next to him with all of these thoughts running through my head. I should tell him good night, and walk home before it gets to late and mama worries. She's already tried calling my cell a couple of times. I just ignore it. I don't want to leave Tim, ever. He is great.
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Why did I stop him? I didn't want to stop him. I want to advance our relationship. I'm ready to. I love him. There is no doubt in my mind about that. This is just not the place. Not here on my bedroom floor with my super homophobic father in the house. Maybe he will still want to go to the lake this weekend. That would be a great place. A warm night under the blanket of stars, that's perfect. Maybe I'll bring it up. I don't know. I hope I didn't offend him by stopping him. I really do love him. Look at him. He is so perfectly beautiful in every way.
Tim unlaced their hands and pushed Marco's hair out of his face. They laid there in complete silence just starring into each other's eyes. They knew that they were both thinking the same thing. That they were perfect together, and nothing was going to break them up.
"I've got to get going. Ma has already called a couple of times," Marco said in a whisper before slowly pulling Tim into a slow, deep kiss.
"I love you," Tim whispered after the kiss.
"I love you too," Marco whispered in response to his smiling boyfriend.
They regrettably got up and made their way to the window. Marco slowly climbed out of the window. Tim pulled him into one last kiss before replacing the screen and giving a slight wave, as Marco turned in the direction of his own house and began to walk.
Tim stood at the window watching Marco walk down the street. He wished that he wouldn't have stopped him before, but he ultimately knew that something would have gotten screwed up if they continued what they were doing that night.
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Marco climbs back up the side of his house using the same fencing he had used to climb down. He didn't expect anyone to be in his room when he got to the window, but he was wrong. His mother was sitting on his bed waiting for him. It had been a while since she had sat down and had a serious conversation with him. She felt as if one was needed after that night.
Marco climbed in the window, and looked at his mother who patted the bed as to say come sit. Marco reluctantly walked over to the bed. He was in no mood for a mother to son heart to heart talk. He just wanted to sleep, to dream about Tim.
"Marco, my boy, I love you and always will," Marco's mother began as she looked at Marco with sad eyes, "But you have to stop sneaking out. I know that your papa has been hard headed about this, but you can't run away. You need to try to work stuff out with him. I love you both, and I can't be forced to choose between you."
"No one is forcing you to choose Ma. I love you no matter what. I know that it isn't you who is shunning me. It is Papa, and I can't stand to be around him Ma. He hates who I am. Why can't he just accept me? He knew it all along, I know he did he is just afraid to admit it. Afraid to let the world see me for whom I truly am. He thinks that people will judge him on me being gay. It isn't his fault Ma. Why isn't he just happy that I'm happy?" Marco had tried to hold his tears back, but it had grown impossible for him. He now had a trail of tears running down both sides of his face, as his ma pulled him into a tight embrace and comforted him.
"I know Marco. He…he just doesn't understand. He will, one day. Just give it time," Marco's Ma said trying to keep him calm, but it was actually just make him cry harder. He didn't want to give his father time. He wanted his father to just understand, and to accept him right then. He was sick of living to please everyone else.
His mother stayed with him until he fell asleep comforting him the whole time. She didn't know how to make her husband see what he was doing to Marco, but she knew that she some how needed to. Marco doesn't deserve this. He is a good boy, and he deserves to be accepted no matter what. He needs to feel loved, and needs to be loved. Why is Gorge (A/N: I'm not sure if that is really his fathers name, but go with it for now) being so judgmental? Why can't he just love him for the son that he always has been? Nothing has changed he is still Marco, our Marco.Marco's mother thought this as she slowly rubbed Marco's back in a comforting way.
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Marco woke up the next day curled up in a ball in the clothes from the day before. Everything came flooding back into his head. Everything came back, from seeing Dylan at The-Dot to his breakdown in front of his mother.
I need to get away from it all. I need to just go away somewhere for the weekend. Maybe I'll just ditch school and go to the lake. I could tell Ma I'm staying with Jimmy for the weekend. Maybe Tim would want to come with me. Do I even want to be around Tim right now? Why am I feeling so lonely and lost?
Marco decided to not even get out of bed that day. He just laid there until his Ma came up to check on him. It wasn't like him to just not get up. To not care, but he didn't feel like himself that day. He just wanted to lie there and wallow in self-pity. He wasn't even sure why he was pitting himself. All he really knew was that he had been through a lot, and it was only getting harder.
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Tim was sitting on the steps outside of Degrassi. Where is he? It isn't like Marco to not show up. I wonder if he got home safe last night. He seemed a little off. I wonder if he is mad at me for not wanting to advance our relationship intimately last night. That's a stupid thought. Of course he wasn't mad at me. He loved me, and knew himself that I would have done it if my father hadn't been in the house. Tim pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Marco's number.
Marco jumped as his phone vibrated under him where it had fallen out of his pocket. He looked to see who it was before answering it in a sad pitiful voice, "Hi."
"Marco?" Tim questioned not sure what was going on. That doesn't even sound like him, is it him? What happened last night?
"Yeah, Sorry I'm not going to make it to school today," Marco said unsure of whether or not to tell Tim the whole story of what had happened after he got home last night.
"Are you ok? Did something happen last night?" Tim says with a hint of worry in his voice. He doesn't like to hear Marco sound so down. He doesn't like to think of Marco unhappy. He wants to be there to comfort him.
"I think I'm ok. I'll explain it later though. I love you, and will talk to you after school," Marco says still not wanting to explain what happened. He can tell that Tim is worried, and that makes him feel bad because it wasn't really something for Tim to be worried about. It was just usual Marco loneliness gone a little more chaotic than usual.
"Ok, I love you too," Tim, says with a voice covered in worry.
Tim hung up before Marco could tell him not to worry. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I should have told him that I had a breakdown about my dad last night. That it wasn't anything to drastic, and I just felt defeated and needed rest. He worries about me too much sometimes, but it shows me how much he loves me.
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I should just skip school, and go over there. He is obviously not ok. I don't know what happened after he left me last night. I wonder if it has something to do with his father. There is no way I'm going to be able to concentrate here all day. I need to see him. I need to know that he is ok. Too visibly see that he isn't hurt physically or emotionally. That's crazy. Of course he is hurt emotionally, his father isn't talking to him. He just stopped being his father after all of these years because of who he is. I'm going over there.
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A/N: What about this chapter? I know I said it'd probably be awhile before I updated, but I was on a roll yesterday. I got this one updated and my other one as well as read The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The after effects of being sick and sleeping all week I guess. Leave me some honest reviews about this chapter!