The Life and Times of an Average Coward

Chapter 10: What Makes a Coward

This was supposed to be posted yesterday 'cause it was my birthday (I don't about y'all but it was September 25 yesterday in my country) but I didn't get to it since I was too tired.

Anyways, enjoy!

I feel like I'm dead already.

Ughhh…. This headache is killing me and my eyelids feel like it was superglued to my eyeballs for some reason. What was I doing again? Why do I feel like I've ran a marathon through the woods for three whole days?

My body feels sooo heavy.

Groaning to myself, I tried to peel open my eyelids only to have light assault my retinas and cast them on fire.

"AHKaefADca!" I promptly shut them down, covering them with my palms for good measure, the event causing them to water, making me feel even more terrible about myself.

Ah, shit.

The sound of footfalls alerted me that someone was approaching me, listening closely, I don't recognize the sound of this person at all.

Double shit.

"W-Who are you?" I licked my lips nervously and started trembling, my brain refreshing and resupplying the past events where it led to me blacking out, lost in the woods and being found by a huge strange man.

The unknown person paused from their approach.

"W-Where am I? W-Where d-d-did you t-t-take me?!" Cautiously, peeking through my fingers.

What I saw had me almost passing out once again.

I-IT'S HIM!

"Are you alright now dear child?" The very tall man asked with a solemn and quiet voice, his pale eyes staring at me unseeingly.

"I, I, WHO A-ARE YOU?! A-AND W-WHERE HAVE Y-YOU TAKEN M-ME?! A-ARE YOU A K-K-K-KIDNAPPER?! ARE Y-YOU GOING TO SELL MY O-ORGANS INTO THE BLACK MARKET AND L-LEAVE ME TO D-D-D-D-DIE?!" I all but screeched in his face, shuffling all the way to the corner of the room and taking the blanket with me as a shield.

OHMYGODI'MSODEADWHATDOIDO?!WHATDOIDO?!WHATDOIDO?!

I'm on a full-blown panic mode right now, my earlier stupidity had now come back to bite me in the ass. I'm such a pathetic creature. This is karma for running away from Jii-chan when he's only trying to help me.

The young man held his hands in front of him in a none threatening gesture, as if to mean he means no harm. But most of all, he started full on crying, an unnerving site because of his looming size.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean you any harm dear child, I swear it to the Gods above. We are currently at the Tsuchikage Temple, I brought you here because you've passed out at the forest, I hope you are able to understand."

Calming myself down, I carefully listened to his heart for any lies, but what I've found only echoes what he had just said. This is soooo embarrassing! I jumped into conclusions once again! The young man's sound is mellow but steady, like a hardpacked dirt that's squishy and soaked with water at the moment, it's a reassuring sound despite being slightly strange. The piano in his tones makes me a bit teary eyed displaying his inherent kind heart, a reminder of the instrument that I can no longer play.

"Gah! I'm sorry! I'm really, really, really, really, very, very, VERY sorry! I jumped into conclusion once again! Please forgive me!"

"It's quite alright child, I shouldn't have greeted you like that in the forest. I apologize for scaring you so much."

Wiping away my tears, I gave a small awkward smile. "I-It's alright. Uhmm… ahhh… what's your n-name Nii-san?"

"I apologize again for not introducing myself." He clasped his hands together and bowed. "I am Himejima Gyoumei." He rose up from his bow and gave a kind smile. "And what could be your name be, dear one?"

I almost cried once again at his kindness; I can't help but feel guilty for accusing him for something like that when he's only trying to help.

Looks can really be deceiving and I've made a mistake once again.

Instead of continuing my impulse, I tried for a smile instead, somehow I knew that he can tell that I'm doing the action even though he's blind.

"My name is Agatsuma Zenitsu. It's nice to m-meet you and t-thank you for taking care of me Himejima-san. I deeply a-apologize once a-again for my b-baseless accusation!"

Out of nowhere he started crying once again, his hands still clasped together. Panicking that it was because of something that I just said or a delayed reaction from my earlier panic, I immediately got up and took hold of the young man's crying face, trying in vain to wipe away his tears.

"P-Please don't cry! I'm sorry for accusing of something t-that you didn't e-even do! I-I'm sorry please forgive me Himejima-san! I-I'm sorry for mistaking your kindness f-for something else!" I felt my own tears flowing down on my cheeks, but I ignored it in favor of the young man before me. "I'm v-very sorry that I d-didn't realized that you were o-only trying to help m-me! I-I'm v-v-v-very sorry for being such an u-ungrateful c-child! I'm s-s-sorry for running away! I'm s-so sorry! P-Please forgive m-me!"

My rant came to a halt when a large hand covered my own while one reached out for my own cheek to wipe away the tears.

"Thank you, Buddha, for letting me meet such a splendid child."

What he just said only made me cry even harder.

(Because I know how untrue that statement was.)

I'm only here because I ran away from Jii-chan and everything that I've promised to do, trying to seek comfort at something so stupid. I ran away from my problems like a damn pathetic coward!

What's so splendid with that? What's so splendid with a coward like me.

It's coming! It's coming!

Dodging clumsily to the right, I barely kept myself from getting scratched by extremely sharp claws.

"Stay still ma dinner!"

"GAHHH! WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO STAY STILL!" I docked down from another swipe. "I DON'T," Jump, slide and keep running. "LIKE THE THOUGHT OF BEING SOMEONE'S DINNER WHEN I STILL" In coming projectile from the left, eeeekkk! WAS THAT A HUMAN BONE! "HAVEN'T HAD DINNER YET!"

The creature growled, sounding like a very pissed off grizzly bear. "Stop yellin' already! If ya don't want me ta pull out yer throat through yer big mouth."

SCARY, SCARY, SCARY! SCARY IMAGES BEGONE! SCARY IMAGINATIONS BEGONE! WHY CAN'T THIS GUY STOP CHASING ME AND SHUT HIS MOUTH UP!

"Or~" The blue haired demon licks his blue tinted lips, shark like teeth making its appearance. "I can claw yer larynx out and pull it until I get that delicious lungs out, ma favorite part, bitter yet salty. Ya seem ta have a healthy pair of them after all. I'm sure that it'll be," He licked his lips in appreciation.

"Delicious." An utterly disgusting moan came from him causing all hairs on my body to rise as cold sweat began to form on my brow, my body locking up at the sudden surge of killing intent.

This killing intent… I―!

His vivid description had my brain going highwire, the bloody images of my own demise playing out in quick successions, the sounds filled with discord that were followed by anguished screams can be heard all around me as a horrifying background music. The following cries had my heart jumping out of my throat, my brain up in the air and my lungs on my feet. All of the stress I'm experiencing right now had me freezing in place, my half starved and tired state not helping my overall thinking capacity at my dire situation.

All of that all went to a halt when I welcomed the promise of sweet, sweet silence in my mind.

I passed out.

…

When I woke up again there was no demon insight, just a pile of ashes and ratty clothes.

The Fujikasane Mountain is a misleadingly beautiful place for a place where man-eating demons were held as prisoners.

My eyes wandered at the light purple flowers glowing from above, the daylight adding to its mythical appearance, looking like a place straight out of a Ghibli film. I brought my focus to th vermillion red torii gates where the 'girls' – I'm saying this now but the other one, the black haired one, heart sounds like one that would come from a boy, and seeing that I have encounters with pretty boys – ahem, Mui-chan, ahem – I would be reserving judgement about that – with their blank large plum purple eyes, stood and observed us who have passed the Final Selection.

Both of them look like dolls, with pale skin, red painted lips, both wearing elegant purple kimonos patterned with geometric flowers, their straight hair cut at shoulder length, one black and one white, and a wisteria flower head piece each to finish their dollish ensemble.

They're so doll-like that their polite smile and blank gaze ends up being creepy.

Inhaling deeply, the overpowering scent of wisteria calmed my frayed nerves, casually rubbing at my cheek to remove the dirt that was clinging there after my last faceplant from a misplaced tree root.

I made it.

I looked to the side to see a boy with a mean look on his scarred face, his aura screaming 'fuck off' in large amounts, his sound not betraying impatience leaking from him. Hearing the fluttering wings of a butterfly from behind me, I turned around curiously to see a beautiful petite girl smiling absentmindedly at the butterfly on her finger, her purple eyes were just as blank, the voice in her heart, all but a tiny whisper that made me a little worried for her mentality. And lastly, my gaze fell to the burgundy haired boy wearing a familiar jinbei styled kimono, light blue with a cloud pattern, the handcrafted warding mask he was wearing the first time I saw him was missing – probably lost in the godforsaken mountain – and now replaced with bandages wrapping around his forehead.

I've been meaning to approach him the first time but my shyness got the better of me, this boy is probably the elusive student of Tengu-jiji and Sachi that they didn't bother to tell me the name of. I was really confused why they hadn't even bother to inform me his name and the name of the sister he had brought with him. They never really told me anything, the two just spoke of having a new student and that's about it, though they mentioned that it isn't advisable to visit them at the moment. Strange right? But I guess that works on my favor as an excuse to focus more on using the Total Concentration breathing style for a longer period of time.

Seeing their student now, the letters didn't justify the words that had described him, that he was a good kid or something along those lines.

He has such a gentle sound, a sound so beautiful, kind and warm that it almost made me cry when I first heard it.

Gentle tones of piano coupled by the soft tinkling of a familiar sounding wind chimes (Kaa-san's wind chimes are still the best!), lapping waves of lake water over the sound of a gentle bonfire. It was a mish mash of everything that feels like home. There's nothing but kindness in his tone, determination to achieve something is also present, understandable since he's also participating on this dangerous Final Selection.

I wonder what could be the reason of a boy with such a gentle sound in entering a life filled with danger and blood.

God I really made it. I guess the others didn't get lucky as we have.

To approach or not to approach, that is the question. But the options were stolen from me when he stumbled forward because of an injury and as a decent human being, I caught him before he could faceplant.

"Y-You okay?" I murmured softly to the boy, his warm burgundy red eyes staring up at me with surprise.

We stayed like that for a good few seconds.

He nodded carefully. "U-Un. Thank you."

I smiled a little awkwardly as I righted him. "I-It's no p-problem. No need to g-get yourself injured even further if I c-could help it."

He blinked and returned my smile with an easy quirk of his lips. "Congratulations on passing umm…"

"Oh." I flushed in slight embarrassment. "M-My name's Agatsuma Zenitsu and congratulations on passing as well err…"

The boy started to chuckle, but a wince stopped him from further doing so.

"I'm Kamado Tanjirou, it's nice to meet you."

"Z-Zenitsu is fine, Kamado-san. Um… are you alright? Wait, that's a wrong question! Of course you're not alright!" He gave an easy grin. "Thank you Zenitsu and yeah, I had a sprained ankle and maybe cracked a rib. And please, call me Tanjirou."

"Ahh… o-okay." I averted my eyes to the side as I threw his arm over my shoulders, letting my other hand settle on his waist, leaving him leaning and surprised by my actions. It doesn't hurt that we're at the same height level, with him being a half centimeter taller or something.

"Let's go over t-there. I think they're going to s-start their w-welcoming speech and what not."

I ain't just gonna let him be after learning his injuries you know, plus, I got lucky to get out with only some bruises and small scratches, there's no hurt in helping someone that I sorta seconhandedly know of.

"Y-You don't have to! I can―"

"Shush you! I'm just helping a person I know that is injured, what's wrong with that?"

Tanjirou smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "N-No problem." I mumbled, definitely avoiding my gaze to his heartfelt smile.

Walking steadily even with my additional baggage, the four of us present – there's supposed to be a fifth one, but the noisy wild guy left with much enthusiasm – gathered before the 'girls'. Tanjirou tugged on my hand and I nodded.

I removed his arm over my shoulders and let him stand on his own with me hovering just a few ways away that I could catch him if he falls.

"Welcome back." The black haired one started, his – and yes, I'm convinced that he's in fact a he – painted lips quirked upwards.

The white haired one continued. "Congratulations on making back. Being safe and sound is better than anything else."

And I can never more agree with that sentiment.

The thrum of disappointment and grief emanating from Tanjirou surprised me.

'There's only four… passed out…I couldn't even save him.'

Ah. I could say the same thing Tanjirou-kun, I know the feeling. But maybe I should tell him that nobody really died.

A scoff, pure impatience and disgruntlement. "Eh? Just get on with it. What about the blade?" Mohawk hair grounded out.

The real girl, white hair, answered him and not at the same time. "You must first pay for the uniform. Then, you must get your body measured and have your rank engraved."

Trap-kun 2.0 – because the Trap-kun 1.0 title solely belongs Mui-chan – finished it off. "There are ten ranks in total; Mizunoto, Mizunoe, Kanoto, Kanoe, Tsuchinoto, Tsuchinoe, Hinoto, Hinoe, Kinoto, Kinoe. You are all currently a Mizunoto."

"What about the blade?" The boy insisted.

"Today, you will each choose a chunk of Tamahagane Alloy and it will take ten to fifteen days to for your blades to be completed." The girl finally answered. "And also, from now on a Kasugaigarasu will be following and guiding you all."

On cue, a flock of crows cried from above, circling before landing on each one of us. Curiously enough, mine isn't a crow, sweet chirping came from the little sparrow nestled on my palm.

"Eh?"

~Greetings! It's nice to meet you my new partner. I am Ukogi, pleased to be of your service!~

I blinked and then smiled. "I can say the same to you as well."

~You understand me! You understand me!~

"Well… Let's just say that I have some experience with birds."

Nestled amongst the branches of the huge wisteria tree towards my left, I can hear a rustle of feathers and soft swish of fabric from a deliberate movement, the fluttering sound of wings against a soft petal of a flower, while the familiar feel of the judging piercing gaze was on me.

There's no doubt about it. Kurotsuki is here.

(I am so proud of myself that the regal crow loved the blue scarf that I gifted to him. He says it builds up his individuality amongst his brethren or something along those lines.)

Speaking of judging gazes, I felt a pair of eyes staring at me and when I looked up it was the boy that was dressed as a girl.

(And isn't that funny? I'm a girl dressed as a boy and he's a boy dressed as a girl. What has the world – and you know I'm serious 'cause I said 'the world' and not ZA WARUDO – gone into.)

"The Kasugaigarasu are crows that are used mostly in communication."

There was a thumping sound of anger and irritation before a cry of a crow broke the impromptu staring contest. The mean looking guy had just shrugged his poor new partner – I caught the poor bird – with a fist, a snarl in his face.

Aggressiveness rolled off of him as he neared the two children, stomping heavily on his feet.

I don't like where this is heading.

"I don't care about some dumb crow!" He let his fist fly towards the girl before grabbing a fistful of white hair, making me cringe, reminding me of a memory from a distant past. Though for some reason the girl – Gah! There's blood! Is she okay?! – and her brother still looked as detached as they were before, though I can't definitely say the same for their sound. "What I want is the blade! Give me the blade! The famed blade of the Demon Slayers! The blade that can change colors!"

'I need that blade now!'

'I need that blade now!'

Ukogi chirped at me incessantly, full of distress, reminding me that I need to breathe, asking me if I'm okay. Hearing a squawk, I eagerly apologized to the poor crow that I caught in my arms though my eyes are still on the spectacle.

I think I would be staying clear from this guy if that's the case.

By the time I was breathing correctly, Tanjirou had apparently made his way towards the mass of thumping anger, had grabbed his arm and now totally threatening him to let go of the girl or he would break his arm.

Damn. Tanjirou can be really scary too.

And seeing that the boy didn't let go, Tanjirou made do of his promise. The creaking sound of the pressured bone turned into a resounding snap, making me flinch at the scrunching sound then the aggressive scarred boy retreated with a cry of pain.

Meanwhile, the other girl on the clearing is still focused on her butterfly and crow, a small absent smile still on her lips.

That girl is scary too. Seeing that she doesn't even have a scratch on her after getting out of the forest and the near emptiness of her smile and her sound is a bit too creepy for me.

Scary. Just Scary with a capital S. I didn't know that a person with that kind face and the kindest sound could be so violent. As they say, the kindest of people is the scariest when angered.

With shaking footsteps, I neared towards them.

Because you don't know what to expect from them when they're angry.

"U-Um… Are you o-okay?" I asked from a respectable distance, my eyes trained on the little girl.

The eyes from before returned on my person and I did my best not to wilt to such a dissecting stare. What could he possibly find entertaining with me? Wait, maybe he knows that I am in fact a girl! No, that can't be it… no one until now had find out about it except for the people I consider family. Everyone who's in the small village nestled between the hills of Ushigome District doesn't know any lick about my true gender, except for Amai-obaa and the village doctor, Kobayashi-sensei, of course.

"I'm fine." She nodded elegantly, daintily wiping away the trailing blood from her lips with an embroidered handkerchief.

"Are you done?" The monotone apathetic voice let my eyes dart towards the indifferent fellow crossdresser, a hint of mocking inflecting his plant like sound.

"If so, then please go over there and choose the alloy that would be used for the construction of your blade." He directed to the table – which for some reason I didn't notice – filled with rocks or the so called core alloy for the famed Nichirin blade.

I've heard so much about this Nichirin blade. From my two cultivators slash gramps, my brothers and demon slayer friends and even from my penpal – a surprising fact – Oyakata-sama. How this Nichirin Blade is said to change colors according to the wielder. How it is the only tool that it is possible for a fleshy human to kill a demon. How it only changes colors when it is held by someone who had enough skill and potential.

Geez… I wonder if I even have a lick of that potential.

After the whole ordeal of choosing ores for our swords, which I chose the one with the most suiting sound when I hit it, we were shuffled in line to have our body measurement by the ninja looking guys called the Kakushi, paid for the fitted uniforms and we're left to go on our merry way to go the fuck home.

Sorry for cursing there. I'm just really tired, like reeeaaallly tired, emphasis on the really.

My eyes wandered over to Tanjirou, the poor boy limping now that his earlier adrenaline has gone down the drain.

Walking up to him I offered a faltering smile. "U-Um, if you like I can carry you downwards." He seems surprised by the offer. "I m-mean if you would like me to do so! I-I'm not forcing you to or anything, it's just that, you have a sprained ankle and that w-wouldn't be good if you keep using it. I can also maybe c-carry you all the way to your current home if you want and it isn't a big deal 'cause I'm not that injured and I know the way there a-and oh Music Gods I'm gonna stop now 'cause I'm rambling and I'm starting to s-sound like a total creep!"

I resumed burying myself in the ground in my mind as I covered up my heated face with my hands. Because really, who the hell just offers a piggyback ride towards the other's home to someone they just met and finally admitting that you know where said other's home is.

Gods, that's major creepy stalker alert.

There was a fluttering of a hand before a warm hand settled on my left shoulder.

"You're really kind Zenitsu." My face just got hotter, what kind of person is this guy? "But I don't really want to impose."

I peeked at him between my fingers and he's smiling once again, his sound still that gentle beautiful piano.

Who the hell just smiles at someone and calls them kind after being offered a piggyback while the other just admitted of knowing their address?! This guy has one too many times had his head bashed during the Final Selection!

Finally after a few more stilted awkward seconds, I decided to remove my hands from my face, plus it's also rude to talk to someone by having it covered and I'm definitely NOT rude.

"Y-You're not imposing, I am offering. You d-don't have to if you d-don't want to. It's just that," I pointed lamely at his bandaged foot. "It could get worse."

The boy tilted his head not unlike a puppy dog, his hanafuda earrings swaying with the movement as he seemed to sniff the air around him.

Seemingly confirming something, he smiled once again. "Then I would like take you up on that offer."

"A-Aren't you curious of why I know w-where you're currently staying at?" I started of tentatively after a few minutes of silent trekking, his weight on my back more of a relief rather than a burden.

All the weight training Jii-chan had put me through is really paying off. The added mass on me feels like a familiar thing only a few kilograms lighter. Compared to a basket filled with river rocks, Tanjirou weighs way lighter, the fact that this would only take for maybe three or four hours is nothing compared to the hellish training that the old man made me do.

(Running down the hill towards the river with a basket, filling it up with rocks while running through the shallow part of the river and once the basket was filled, I'd run over five hills and around the village, back to the house then to the river once again, dump out the rocks and repeat the sequence all over again for at least half the day or until Jii-chan was satisfied. Sword training and breathing exercises for the later part of the day, the one I undoubtfully enjoy the most.)

Sometime during the trek down, Tanjirou had kept his head close to the side of my neck, sniffing at me once in a while.

"I actually am curious about that; I just don't know how to bring it up again since you seemed uncomfortable talking about it."

Licking my dry lips, I noted how this boy is very considerate even to a stranger, he's really too nice for words.

"Ya know you're really weird. You aren't really weirded out by the fact that I know where your home is?"

"I―"

"Wa-Wait! On s-second thought, don't answer that. It's already embarrassing for me as it is." The heat started creeping from my cheeks and down to my neck, a good thing that Tanjirou isn't facing me right now or he'll be seeing me turn into a red human. "T-The reason why I know where your home is because I used to live with Tengu-jiji and Sachi, both of them are family you know. Tengu-jiji is a mentor slash granpa to me and Sachi's an older brother figure." I smiled to myself, picturing them in my mind. "Both of them had wrote me some vague passages about you and your sister in their letters, but for some reason they didn't really told me both of your names." I grumbled the last part out exasperatedly as I carefully went down the steep slope, managing to avoid slipping on the rocks that had tripped me from a week ago.

Silence reigned once again and if it weren't to the erratic pace of Tanjirou's heart I would have thought that he fell asleep.

"Hmmm… So you're also a student of Urokodaki-san and the younger sibling Sabito-san – the one who calls him Sachi – had talked about." Hesitation laced his gentle tones. "Did they… did they say some things about Nezuko?"

I hummed to myself. "Based on the feminine name, that's the name of your sister, right?"

Once again, he stilled in my hold, apprehension, worry and hope running through him in an allegro of piano notes. Tanjirou is hiding something. Something probably big like his sister being a hanyou – half demon, half human hybrid – or something equally as crazy and terrifying.

(Could cases even like that exist? I know that once a human's been ingested with demonic blood, they either change into a demon or die immediately. But maybe the hanyou theory can be possible if a demon and a human paired together, then maybe they can have an offspring or another. An unlikely outcome since demons often lose their shit when there's food readily available for them, they're likely to eat the human than to take them us a partner. Plus, if Tanjirou's sister really is a hanyou, wouldn't that make Tanjirou a hanyou too? Very unlikely, his sound is entirely human though a bit too beautiful for a human. Though really, this is not the time for me to get stuck in my head when I'm talking to another person, that brain fart is also laughable at best.)

Doesn't matter though. Unless he spouts shiz about him being the next Demon King then I'll be dropping him on his ass and try to avoid him as much as possible. But him being a Demon King is very unlikely, I can't picture kind, gentle Tanjirou to a wild, animal sounding man-eating monster.

(But then again, looks can be deceiving, but that's why I have special ears for that, I can hear a lie from miles away and tell what emotions or sometimes thoughts a person has, and nothing so far leads to Tanjirou being an evil demon lord mastermind.)

Tanjirou is a good person. I've witnessed that for myself, so whatever the hell he's hiding, I trust him enough not to spring the very dangerous stuff right at my face. Just something in him makes me trust him so easily. I don't know if it's his gentle, heartwarming inner sound or his honest warm eyes that had me trusting so easily on someone I just made an acquaintance with, but there's something there, something that speaks volumes of his trustworthiness.

Plus, I think he's the type of boy who doesn't know how to lie.

"Yes. Nezuko is my sister."

Feigning ignorance at his obvious apprehension, I answered honestly. "Not really. They didn't even tell me your names; it's really frustrating how I need to find it out on my own. They p-probably think it's funny if I meet their student during the Final Selection." Snorting, I raised my nose while an unbidden smile stretched in my lips. I felt Tanjirou relaxing onto me, his arms now less probable to strangle me. "So much confidence to a coward like me. You probably seen me faint when I first came to the site. It's seriously embarrassing! I even stumbled at my own feet when we first entered the forest."

Tanjirou chuckled good naturedly and not in a way that is mocking.

"I don't really remember that happening, but it's probably because I was occupied myself and I bet the others are feeling the same."

"Yeah, but I was the only one who actually f-f-fainted, I can hear their laughter blaring in my head when that happened, good thing the stupid test haven't started yet, I have no doubts that those two proctor kids would have any problems in tossing me into the wilderness. And how the hell did you even forgot about that? You're the one who assisted me remember? Or did you bash your head too many times in the Mountain of Death that you forgot? I think I even faintly heard you calling out to me before I fell totally unconscious."

I could practically hear his brain working.

"No. I don't remember that happening." He hummed. "Maybe you're right too. I did bash my forehead when I was fighting the 'Hand Demon'."

My brain stuttered to a halt when he said 'Hand Demon'.

Mechanically, I turned my head to look sideways at the boy. "W-W-Wait! D-Did you just say H-H-H-H-Hand D-D-Demon! The H-Hand Demon!"

"Umm… yes? Is there something wr―"

"OF COURSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG?!" My sudden screech had the boy flinching and I held myself back from further imitating a banshee on steroids. "That thing, that H-H-H-H…. arghhhfsdg demon was the one responsible for killing off Tengu-jiji's other previous students. T-The main reason why…" My eyes watered from the onslaught of sudden emotions. The memory of that night, of Sachi crying on my shoulder a few years back as I console him with a lullaby.

"You know, it's okay to be weak sometimes, you don't always have to be strong. That's why we're here Sabito, we're your family, we'll be the strength that you would need, we'll be anything that you need us to be, so you don't have to face this alone okay? Everything might feel like it has fallen apart, but always remember that you have us to support you every step of the way."

"Why Sachi cannot become a swordsman anymore."

I was surprised by the sudden blare of gentle understanding coming from Tanjirou.

"You really love them, don't you?"

I scoffed, rubbing my eyes with a sleeve. Stupid genetics for giving me teary eyes.

"Of course I do! They're my family! A-And damn! You survived from that guy! And even talking about him right now you don't seem scared at all. I wish I could be as brave as you are. At the very end even though I passed, I'm still nothing but a c-c-coward who's afraid of his own shadow."

I looked down at my feet as I said those words. Because it's true. What good would I be as a Demon Slayer if I'm not even capable of facing a demon without the thoughts of running away or worse, blacking out. And I did black out. I fell unconscious as soon as I faced my first demon in a long while, the sound they emitted was hair-raising as I remembered it would be when faced to face. Up until now, I don't know how I got lucky enough for someone to save my ass when I fainted in a forest filled with man-eating beasts. Whoever that was, was so skilled that when I opened my eyes again the demon's already turned to ashes and the person gone without even a trace. I was sure that no one was around that time, but then again, I could be mistaken because of the fear clouding my mind.

Whoever the person who saved my sorry ass is, I will just pray for you to remain alive so that I can thank you properly for saving me when I finally meet you.

"You know, you're not as cowardly as you think you are Zenitsu." Tanjirou halted the train of self-deprecating thoughts.

I raised one split fuzzy eyebrow, though he probably wouldn't see it either way. "Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"Well…" He trails off and I waited for him to tell me that it was in fact an insult. "To start with, you even came to the Final Selection, it takes great courage to even do that."

"That's because Jii-chan – he's my other mentor – and the others would probably kill me themselves if I put it off once again. I was supposed to participate last year but I chickened out." I refuted his claim with a grumble.

"Well…" I could practically here him thinking of a way to refute the claim. "You participated now, finished it until the end of the week and didn't quit until it's over."

"I guess you are right. Some of the other participants went down the mountain after a rough and scarring encounter with a demon, I d-don't really blame them though. The only reason why I didn't quit was because Jii-chan drilled into my skull how I can't just give up easily on my problems and of course," I pushed up Tanjirou when I found him slipping down. "the threat of bodily harm is also in effect."

Plus, the disappointment that comes after is also a thing. After all the support the two old men had given me, not giving up on me once when I've given up at myself so many times to count, I wouldn't want to disappoint them.

Disappointing them is the farthest thing in my mind.

There was a terse silence that followed, the slight tingle of irritation coming from the redhead had me hunching with tense shoulders. Here it is, he's probably gonna yell at me now that he knew how cowardly I am. He's probably not gonna talk to me after this.

"You're really negative about yourself, aren't you?" It felt more of a confirmation than an accusation and I let myself look down at the beaten down mountain path.

Tanjirou sighs. "Zenitsu, do you know what are the traits that makes up to be a coward?"

Of course I do. I embody the essence of a coward. Why the hell wouldn't I know?

"A person who always cry for help instead of doing something about a problem themselves and chooses to remain idle and passive, a person who lives in lies and denials, a person who,"

"I don't want to be here! I have enough of this training! I'm quitting! I can't take it anymore Jii-chan!"

"Runs away from their problems instead of facing them."

"Correct." I felt him nod his head. "You're completely correct. But you know, running away isn't always a sign of being a coward."

I have to pause and do a double take on that one.

"What do you mean Tanjirou? Isn't running away from your own problems the truest mark of a coward?"

If I could have subtitles right under my face it would have stated [visible confusion] in italicized letters. Come on, what else there is to it in being a coward? I know that I am brave enough to proclaim to the world that I am in fact a coward.

Cowardice had put me in this whole situation and nothing else.

I mean, I'm so spineless that I can't defend myself from my bullies in my first life, always eager to bow out just so that I don't get hurt – which was really stupid because I ended up emotionally and mentally hurt instead – taking the brunt of slurs head on. I'm not brave enough to conquer the world on my own by becoming an orphan at age fifteen – going sixteen – so I took on the bullets and faced Death. But instead of facing Death, I faced Life instead once again, now one that has constant instances to face Death once again. I'm just a pitiful puppet, dancing around to the tunes of whatever omnipotent being that rules my life just so that I don't get a chance to meet Death again for anytime soon.

Really, a total pushover and ROA's favorite cosmic doormat just so that they could get a few laughs about my whole existence.

I've already written journals titled "The Life and Times of an Average Coward" detailing my life as you may know… as a coward, the fact that when Kai found it – it doesn't have my name written on it – and returned it to me without question is a hard slap to my face.

(The bastard tried to read it, but jokes on him, it's written all in Romaji except for the title. My greatest excuse for actually using alphabet letters was because Gyou-nii and Oyakata-sama had gifted me rare English books and a sort of how to guide in reading said rare English books.)

(I'm thanking them both for letting me have an excuse in doing that.)

"Well yes, but also a no." Did this boy just unintentionally referenced a meme? But as soon as that thought came, I slapped myself mentally, I need to focus damnit! Not poking fun of memes that has yet to exist. "Often times, running away is the right choice, let yourself breathe before tackling it again with a clearer mind. Actually," He lets out a sigh, his warm breath hitting my neck. "it can take more courage to flee than to fight because at the end of it all, you chose the path where you thought is right. Cowards submit themselves into their fears, and those who don't allow fear to dictate their actions are nothing but courageous. That's why you're not a coward Zenitsu."

From the corner of my eyes, I watched Tanjirou's eyes go half lidded with tiredness, a tired smile on his face. My head not exactly registering his words at the moment because if it was, I'll be crying myself to dehydration at the absolute sincereness in his heart. I know that it isn't a lie, that's for sure, he's the type of guy where his words also resonated with his heart, a very, very rare type of guy.

"Even though you're afraid at the prospects of being a Demon Slayer, you didn't let your fears get the best of you and you made it, you became a Demon Slayer."

I actually made it…

"A person who stands up to their fear is not a coward."

…

His forehead hit my shoulder softly, his tiredness getting to him, relaxing and relying solely to me now.

"…Is it alright for me to sleep on you?"

I didn't deigned him an answer and grunted wetly, looking straight on with blurry eyes, Tanjirou's breath was slowly evening out into a relaxed rhythm and it stayed like that until he finally fell asleep, giving his body time to rest.

I'm just trying to control myself so that I don't actually whimper.

I could also definitely say that I would really love to sleep right now but unlike Tanjirou, I somehow got the better end of the stick, only having scratches and a few bruises here and there, totally manageable, if anything, I'm just emotionally and mentally drained, my fainting spells actually helped me in conserving energy. The fact that it is also counterproductive when I'm in a middle of the test where man-eating demons lurk everywhere was not lost on me.

But that's over now.

I actually made it and survived the whole ordeal.

I'm a little amazed at myself, now that the shock is starting to leave my system.

Thank the Music Gods! I made it! I actually made it!

Tightening my hold on Tanjirou with my right arm to keep him up, I wiped away the tears with my left arm, trying to clear my vision.

"You know, you're not as cowardly as you think you are Zenitsu."

GODDAMNIT NOW I'M CRYING AGAIN! AFNSJKDNJSESDMNDV!

Can't I just get a break from all the crying?! I'm freaking dehydrated right now and need some serious H2O in my body, but my brain just won't let my tear ducts rest. What would Jii-chan even think if I pathetically died of dehydration after qualifying as a Demon Slayer?

"Even if you don't see it yourself, you girl, are very brave. Being brave does not mean that you do not fear anything. Being brave is about facing that fear, admitting that you are weak and overcoming it." A warm hand shuffled my skull cap once again, messing it up and letting some of the longer strands free. I stared at the old man; his eyes closed as he smiled from ear to ear.

"And what you are doing now is nothing short of bravery."

GAAAAAAAAAHHH! WHERE DID THAT MEMORY COME FROM?! THAT WAS EIGHT YEARS AGO WHEN I FIRST CAME TO JII-CHAN! WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN?! YOU'RE FURTHER SUPPLYING MY FEELS TRIP WITH MORE TEAR AMMO!

…

This will be a long walk home and I sure do hope to stop crying my eyes out.

Stupid genetics.

Tanjirou woke up with a start, confused really, on why was he moving without moving his legs, but a quick sniff was all it needed to identify why, his brain also catching up to what happened before he slept.

"Falling fast asleep,

May this little boy find blissful dreams~

Among the ash and the flames that light up the night sky!

One by one, falling softly~"

A beautiful, gentle voice sung softly and it surprised him even further that it was coming from the person that helped him and let him rest. Taking another whiff, his body relaxed once again when he finally confirmed that he is, in fact, safe as can be.

Zenitsu's smell is surprisingly calming despite how jittery she is. He doesn't know exactly know why that is, but there's just something about her that is calming and reassuring.

Tanjirou knows for a fact that Zenitsu is a girl despite how she is currently dressed, her scent had gave it all away.

It screams femininity and gentleness, kindness. She smells of peach blossoms at their bloom, a rainforest at constant downpour and of sweet bean paste, the scent of blood, demons and wisteria are still on her understandably, but it doesn't deter from her pleasant smell.

"With your silhouette

Casting shadows of your lovely face,

I watch the sky as a million dreams are shining~

Little dreams, little drea―"

It's so warm.

"Oh, did I wake you up? I'm s-sorry if I did! I was just bored and I have this song and melody in my mind so I―"

"No! It's okay, I don't mind it. You have a beautiful voice Zenitsu, it almost pulled me back to sleep."

And it's true, her singing voice is on par with his mother's, lilting with gentleness and warmth.

"I-If that's the case, you wouldn't mind to― AHHHHHHHHHH!"

The sudden scream had Tanjirou's hold on Zenitsu tighten, though he started looking around to what might have caused her distress.

"I swear I'm n-not a girl! I just s-sound like one okay! That was me trying to imitate a girl's vo-voice! An impression! Y-Yeah! Just an impression!" Zenitsu's voice took a deeper turn, one that she had been using since the beginning when they first met, one that can easily pass of as a man with a very, slightly raspy higher tone.

It was actually impressive and something Tanjirou wouldn't have associated with a soft looking face. So his suspicion was correct, she really was trying to pass off as a boy, and she would have if it weren't for her scent, her face is more feminine too if anything.

Tanjirou contemplated lying to her because the situation causes her so much distress. But that's like spitting on her kindness if he did such a thing, it's already weighing on him how he's being carried by the girl.

Tanjirou decided to speak the truth.

"Zenitsu, there's no need to worry. I already knew you were a girl from the start."

"You WHAT?!"

"You see, I have a really great sense of smell and from what I detected by your scent," He couldn't help but flush in embarrassment when he realized he was unconsciously sniffing her neck, her mutual embarrassment is also clear with her red ears. "T-that you're a girl."

…

"A-Ah is that so, s-so you're kinda like Tengu-jiji with his n-nose."

"Un."

This is awkward.

…

"D-Do you mind if I… c-continue singing?"

Red eyes blinked but a slow smile crept to his face.

…

"No, I don't mind."

Passing rice paddies and getting hailed by some farmers who knows of me, our destination is almost in sight, but everything around me stilled when I heard that familiar sound.

Why is it there?! Why is… WHY IS THERE A DEMON INSIDE THERE?!

Breathing became hard all of a sudden, the weight on my shoulders feeling lightweight as I desperately tried to find Sachi's and Tengu-jiji's sound.

"Zenitsu? Is there something wrong? You can put me down if you're tired, I think I can handle it from he―"

They're there, but the demon is also not moving around, likely staying inside the only room. But why is it there?! Why is there a demon close to them?! Tengu-jiji would have noticed it already, they're even at the same room! Sachi's somewhere outside, probably training, both of them sounded calm enough but I still have to check.

"Zenitsu? Zenitsu! Calm down! Breat―"

Inhaling deeply, I tightened my hold under Tanjirou's knees and bolted.

I ignored Tanjirou's tight grip on my neck and his worried shouts, focusing on just moving my legs, everything blurring around me as I run at my fastest speed and in no time, I was by the door and opening it with a bang.

"TENGU-JIJI A-ARE YOU SAFE?! WHY IS THERE A D-D-DEMON IN THE NEXT ROOM! ARE YOU GUYS BEING HELD H-H-H-HOSTAGE! IF SO WE, BETTER GO NO―"

"ZE-ZENITSU! CALM DOWN! NEZUKO'S NOT DANGEROUS!"

My breath left me when Tanjirou subsequently put me in a chokehold, his panic doubling mine by miles.

"Y-You're… ch-choking me… urk." My hands went to my neck, trying to push off Tanjirou's arms.

"AH S-SORRY!" The boy got off of me immediately, leaving me on my knees, gasping for breath.

Running at top speed using the Total Concentration breathing technique while dead tired is not a very good idea. And now that my mind is slightly cleared away of panic, I noted the calmness and happiness in the old man's note.

Speaking of the old man, a door slid open to reveal Tengu-jiji in all his masked glory.

And later was followed by a seemingly beautiful young girl who also happens to be the demon I've been hearing.

"Tengu-jiji! There's a d-d-d-d-d-demon behind y-you! What the hell is goi―"

Then the bamboo muzzled demon girl went charging on us.

I can't even pull myself to a scream when she went pass me and tackled Tanjirou. Mechanically turning over my shoulder just to make sure that he wasn't being eaten alive, I watched with wide eyes as the girl nuzzled into a crying Tanjirou, hugging him and making muffled 'hn' sounds.

"Don't scare me like that again Nezuko! You were in a coma for so long. I thought you're never gonna wake up again! Don't do that again, you hear me!"

What's going on?! I'm h-hella confused! I'm missing great context around here!

"Zenitsu-kun, Tanjirou, you both came back alive."

Familiar arms wrapped around me, bringing me onto their chest, I vaguely felt tears splattering my cheek, my mind slow and going elsewhere as my oxygen seemed to ran low.

"What's going on T-Tengu-jiji? Why is there a d-d-demon here? Why is it h-hugging Tanjirou so familiarly?"

"Shh… I'll explain it all later, just cooperate and breathe along with me, you're hyperventilating."

Oh, so that's why everything is getting blurrier.

"Zen-chan! Tanjirou! What's going on? Is she okay?"

A hand settled on my back as a took a steadying breath.

"S-Sachi… Tengu-jiji… I'm sleepy and t-tired."

"Go ahead and rest, we will be here when you wake up and then we'll explain everything."

I struggled in keeping my eyes open but I knew that it was a losing war, so I finally gave in and let darkness take hold of me.

I know that there's a demon nearby and any sane person would never bother passing out when that happens, but I trust them, I trust my precious family who is also with me at the moment.

I guess I'll be finding out the truth later then.

Omake: Growing up

~Zenitsu age 14~

~Giyuu and Sabito age 19~

~Kaigaku age 15~

When did she start looking like that?

Giyuu and Sabito simultaneously thought as they watched the smiling young woman across the table. They watched as her blonde locks was brushed over an ear by lightly calloused fingers, her long dark lashes brushing on pink cheeks as her coral colored lips were pulled in a beatific smile. Probably noticing their stare, her eyelids opened and warm amber stared at them with love and affection.

"What is it? Is there something on my face?" As she said this, fingers started roaming across her smooth fair skin, looking for some sort of food crumb.

When did she stopped being adorable and became beautiful?

Beside her, Kaigaku scoffed and gruffly took her chin, much to their irritation and mortification, his fingers brushed her lips in an almost careful manner, going over it twice before pulling away.

"Geez, you should really stop eating like a damn pig." He huffed and looked away from her.

The boy's blush didn't go unnoticed by the two, and as if noticing their ire, the boy had the audacity to smirk at them, turquoise eyes filled with mirth as the fingers he used to caress the girl's lips went to his own lips.

I'm going to kill him.

Their killing intent spiked through the roof, carefully directed only to Kaigaku and not in any way touching the still oblivious girl.

Sabito opened his mouth. "You're going to participate in the Final Selection soon right?" The boy made sure to keep happy thoughts running through his head – like chopping off a certain annoying boy's head – in case if Zenitsu is listening to them.

Kaigaku looked unsure and apprehensive, pausing from eating a peach mochi. "Yeah? So what?"

Sabito returned his glare with a winning smile.

"How about you spar with the both of us? We wouldn't mind training you."

Without a pause, Kaigaku answered.

"No."

Much to his surprise, Giyuu was the one to argue back.

"I see. Both of us are too hard for you to handle then. We're sorry for offering."

Sabito withheld a snicker, Giyuu really knows how to rile someone up when he opens his mouth. It's a natural talent of his, Sabito can still recall the times when his words had caused plenty of arguments between them as children. But Sabito is a man now, and a true man is patient with everything that he does.

But still, if Sabito was Kaigaku, he would have accepted the challenge.

A true man protects his honor after all.

Kaigaku abruptly stood up. "You guys are on! I ain't no weakling! I can take you both and then some!"

Giyuu stood up as well. "Are you sure? I'm ranked as one of the Hashira now after all."

The younger teen flushed in anger; you can audibly hear the grinding of his teeth.

"Just you wait, I'm gonna snatched that seat of yours one day! Just you wait unemotional bastard!"

With that, the three went outside to continue their argument, subsequently forgetting about the sole girl in the room.

With a blank gaze she started cleaning the table, ignoring the manly cries of passion going on outside.

"They're all idiots."

~Taisho Secret~

Though not mentioned, Giyuu and Muichiro had already met when Giyuu became one of the Hashira. Surprisingly, even thought they are both known for being silent, the two of them started a conversation about who is Sen's favorite.

It ended in a sparring match which nobody won because they were scolded by Oyakata-sama.

A/N: Hey guys! Still alive and kicking and I'm surprisingly doing well seeing that last month was pretty shit for me with the passings of my relatives. Anyways, sorry if there's any wrong grammars or misspelling because I'm dumb at English and it's my second language. I tried to post this yesterday as a celebration to my birthday but I was just too tired to continue proofreading and I almost slept if it wasn't for the laptop falling in my face.

Thank you for reading this and I hope you tell me what you think about the chapter at the review section.