Sorry for the delay, had writers block! And the next update might be a while coming, i actually have to work for once this week so i wont be able to update too soon, sorry!

Disclaimers: This one is baaaad guys, im being a bitch to Jack this time around so warnings for language, drugs and sexual abuse

"Jack, time to get up" Jack started awake as Evelyn knocked on his door, mumbling sleepily, waiting for his muddled brain to jog into coherence.

"I'm awake" he yelled, rolling out of bed and hurriedly pulling on a thick sweater as protection against the cold.

He added thick woolly socks and staggered to the bathroom, remembering to put the seat down once he was done, washing his hands sleepily. He made it down the stairs miraculously intact, yawning as he walked into the kitchen.

"What's with the sweater Jackie boy, your fairy ass cant handle the cold!" Bobby grinned from his seat at the counter and Jack grinned from ear to ear as his brother rose to hug him.

"Hey man, when did you get here!" Jack squeezed Bobby hard, feeling the solid muscles under Bobby's clothes.

"Just now little brother, a couple minutes ago" Bobby released him from the hug "Let me look at you, shit Jackie when did you get taller than me!" Bobby grinned, actually stepping back to appraise Jack.

"I don't know man, its not a big deal" Jack shrugged as Evelyn set down a mug off coffee in front of him. "Thanks Ma" he smiled at her.

"So what's been happening kid, any news, anything interesting, come on I been goin nuts wondering what's goin on" Bobby sat back down on his stool, regarding his brother with something close to shock.

"Nothing really, I've been handling things, you know, keeping everything running" Jack told him "There hasn't been anything worth mentioning going on" he wrapped one hand around his mug "Ma what's up with the heatin?" he looked to Evelyn.

"Look out the window Jack" Evelyn laughed.

Jack frowned over at the window and blinked in surprise at the white fuzz that covered the window.

"When did it snow!" he asked incredulously.

"Started about an hour ago" Evelyn told him "a few inches already and it's only the beginning, weather report says we're looking at some bad weather"

"Whoah" Jack raised an eyebrow at the snow.

"We gotta play hockey in that" Bobby murmured happily.

"You wont be able to see a thing!" Evelyn told them.
"That's the point" Bobby and Jack said in unison.

"Jack, go get dressed while I make you some breakfast" Evelyn smiled at her youngest son as he walked out of the kitchen.

She waited until she heard him climb the stairs then turned to Bobby "You see?" she asked.

"He seems okay to me Ma" Bobby shrugged apologetically.

"Well you wait, he doesn't eat, I don't think he sleeps, I'm positive he's been doing drugs and…he's drifting away from me Bobby, he's going some place inside himself and its not healthy, I'm worried he might be hurting himself" Evelyn told her oldest son.

"Ma he's seems fine! And what do you mean, 'hurting himself'?" Bobby frowned.

"I don't know…just to talk to him?" Evelyn asked.

"Course I will Ma" Bobby gave her a smile.

Evelyn made Bobby and Jack a full breakfast, insisting that Jack eat every morsel when he came back down, even sitting and watching him.

When he was don't, he and Bobby gathered their hockey gear and headed out into the snow.

"What you doin that Ma's worried about you?" Bobby asked as soon as they where outside.

"Nothing" Jack lied, pulling a pack of regular cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one up.

"Well she's worried" Bobby told him "And Ma doesn't get worried without good reason so talk to me kid" Bobby told him.

"Nothing man, she was talking to me the other night when I was stoned is all" Jack shrugged, knowing Bobby wouldn't mind that Jack had been dabbling in some drugs.

"And?" Bobby asked.

"And….nothing man, I'm fine, she's just being Ma, you know how she is" Jack told him, chuckling idly.

"You got some weed on you right now?" Bobby asked.

Jack handed him a ready made joint, taking a long drag on his own cigarette.

"That shit'll give you cancer" Bobby told him.

"I know" Jack shrugged.

"Should you even be smoking that with your chest?" Bobby frowned, referring to the scarring on Jack's lungs from an old injury he had received as a child, that required him to use an inhaler occasionally.

"Probably not" Jack gave him a wink.

Bobby took a hit from the joint and passed to Jack, bending down as Jack discarded his normal joint and took a drag on the joint.

The snowball hit Jack in the face stopping him dead in his tracks.

"You ass" Jack told him, "You're dead" he clenched the joint in his teeth and grabbed his own snowball, hurling it at Bobby.

It caught Bobby across the nose as Bobby turned and Bobby yelped in shock, grabbing more snow tot throw at his brother.

"Wait, wait! Jerry lives two blocks up, we gotta get him!" Jack grinned.

"Oh!" Bobby cheered "Go kid, lead the damn way!" Bobby laughed.

They jogged to Jerry's house, scooping up snowballs as they went, dumping their hockey gear at the end of Jerry's drive way when they reached his house, hiding a small pile of snowballs behind the bins.

Jack ran up to the door and rang the bell aggressively, running back to the bins to crouch with Bobby.

There was a pause, then the door opened and Jerry, still in his pyjamas stepped onto his porch, yelling at who ever had rung his bell.

Jack and Bobby, in perfect unison, stood and hurled twin snow balls, the hardened ice balls striking him in the face and chest.

"HAHAAAAA WHITE DEATH JERRY!" Bobby yelled gleefully as Jerry stood in total shock, shivering as the snow began to melt through his clothes.

"OH!" Jerry yelled "You're dead Bobby, I'm gonna fuckin kill your ass!" He ran out into the snow, grabbing handfuls as he went and hurling them back at his brothers.

Bobby and Jack bombarded him mercilessly driving him to his feet and diving on him to rub snow on his head, shoving it down the back of his clothes.

"Get off get off you bastards!" Jerry laughed as Bobby and Jack rubbed hand fulls of snow on his face.

"We're gonna find a pick up game, you're in" Bobby told Jerry, pulling the slender black man to his feet.

"What? I just got out of bed!" Jerry told him, rubbing snow out of his hair.

"So go get dressed get some cheerios and get your ass in gear, we're gonna play!" Bobby laughed.

"It's nice to see you too Bobby" Jerry grinned, pulling his brother into a hug.

"good to hear it now go, get, your stuff!" Bobby gave Jerry a gentle shove in the direction of his house.

Jerry rolled his eyes but chuckled and jogged toward the house.

After enough time passed for him to have a shower, eat breakfast, explain the situation to his fiancé and gather his things, he emerged from the house.

"Alright, alright, lets get gone man I wanna beat some people!" Bobby whooped.

It didn't take long for the amped up brothers to find some people to take part in a blizzard borne Hockey Game. It became the Mercer brothers and some of Bobby's old friends against another group that the boys knew of old.

In a very short amount of time, the Mercers where up by ten goals and a member of the opposing team tackled Jack from behind and his head, on which he didn't wear a helmet, thumped on the floor.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut as the pain resonated through his head in waves that brought pained tears to his eyes.

He lay on the floor for a second, then rolled onto his front, got to his feet and skated after the guy, an African American kid named Lee, tackling him from behind, using his hockey stick to push Lee down. Jack turned Lee onto his back and grabbed his head, bouncing it on the floor, a seething rage boiling through him, blinding him to the severity of his actions. He was aware of being dragged backwards and swung wildly, hearing a yell as his fist connected.

Some one was on top of Jack, holding him down and he growled as some one stronger than him caught his wrists and held them against his chest.

"Jack, Jack!" Jerry was yelling into his face as Jack fought to get back to Lee.

"Jackie calm down" Bobby was trying to hold Jack down.

"Get that fucking animal off've the ice!" Some one yelled.

Bobby went from crouching to standing and tackled the speaker so hard the guy 'oofed' as he fell to the ground, the Michigan Mauler riding him down. In an instant a fight broke out on the ice and Jerry gave up trying to hold Jack down, realising there was simply no point. The five members of the Mercer team immediately sided with the brothers, taking on anyone who dared to come at them.

Jack went for Lee again, tackling the young man just as Lee managed to climb to his feet.

Lee managed to catch Jack in the tackle and pushed him off balance, sending Jack crashing to the ice. Jack rolled as Lee punched down in the place where Jack's head should have been, struggling to get to his feet as Lee came after him. All around him, people where fighting and Jack felt a rising, bubbling wicked glee. He gladly skated into Lee's tackle, ducking at the last minute and flipping Lee onto his back, spinning on the edge of his blades and diving on the youth, throwing punches as he went, a manic laugh escaping his lips as he fought.

"I am so sick of you three getting into fights" Evelyn snapped at Bobby and Jack as they sat side by side at the counter, trying to hide the grins that kept creeping over their lips.

"Jeremiah went home?" she asked them laying out witch hazel and cotton wool balls for them.

"Yeah" Bobby told her quietly.

Lizzie walked in the room, saw the sight of the bruised, beaten brothers and rolled her eyes "What did you do?" she asked.

"Lee started it" Jack stated "He tackled me too low"

"Has anything I've tried to teach you over the years ever actually stuck?" Evelyn asked.

"Tie your shoe laces" Jack smiled at her.

"Don't run with scissors" Bobby raised an eyebrow.

"Chew with ya mouth closed" Jack chuckled.

"Homework before chores, chores before fun" Bobby gave his mother a smile.

"Always be polite to ya PO" Jack snickered and Evelyn couldn't help but grin, happy to see Jack actually smiling for once.

"Clean your selves up" Evelyn threw a cloth at Bobby "I'll make some lunch, then you both can help Lizzie with her snowman" Evelyn smiled too sweetly at them.

"Gladly" Bobby shot at her with a grin.

"Really!" Lizzie squeaked.

"Course kid" Bobby smiled at her.

Jack picked up the bottle of witch hazel and the cotton wool and grabbed Bobby's jaw, holding his brothers face so he could dab witch hazel on the cut on Bobby's lip, the other scratches and cuts he had receives. Bobby did the same, tending Jack as Jack tended to him, both of them working easily and with a fraternal familiarity that made Evelyn smile.

They teased one another as they each winced at the various stings and pains that came as the witch hazel entered the wounds. "Quit bein a little fairy" Bobby scolded.

"I'm just copyin you bitch" Jack shot back.

"Ma did you hear that?" Bobby asked, moving to stand behind Jack so he could see the small cut on the back of his head.

As Bobby dabbed the cut with one hand, Jack pulled the other hand forward over Jacks shoulder, examining the scratches and broken skin on Bobby's knuckles.

"You woulda thought your knuckles would be callused by now" Jack told him.

"You mean they're not?" Bobby frowned, pressing on the wound a little harder than necessary to see if it was just bruised or fractured.

"You got baby soft skin, what do you do, moisturise" Jack laughed as Evelyn began to lay out sandwiches, sodas and chips.

"Shut up" Bobby jabbed the bruise hard enough that Jack, still holding on to Bobby's hand, bent his brothers finger back.

"Ow, hey!" Bobby snatched his hand back and sat back down in his seat as Jack picked up his soda and popped the ring pull.

"That's what you get" Jack sing songed, grinning.

"Ma, will you tell him, he tried to kill me Ma" Bobby put on a nasally voice.

"Quit your bitchin" Evelyn covered Lizzie's ears as she said the last.

"I heard that" Lizzie smiled.

"Well then excuse me" Evelyn told her.

The phone rang as Jack picked idly at his chips, and Bobby slid off his stool to answer it.

"Mercer residence" Bobby said, turning his back and unwittingly giving Jack the opportunity to shake up Bobby's soda can vigorously.

Lizzie saw him but he gave her the 'sh' motion, grinning conspiratorially.

"Jackie, its for you" Bobby told his brother.

Jack took the proffered phone "Yeah?" he asked.

"Hey buddy boy" Hooks voice came over the mouthpiece and Jack casually walked out of the kitchen.

"Hey whats up man?" he asked.

"Got a call from Toby, he liked you man…got another job for you tonight if you want it, I can set you up with some primo coke if you want it" Hook sounded like he was eating something and the noise was bugging Jack.

"Stop fucking chewing man, give me the address" Jack told him.

He found a pen in his pocket and scribbled down the address on his palm as Hook read it aloud. "Be there for nine, this guy's…a little aggressive, so watch yourself" Hook told him.

"Whatever" Jack told him, hanging up.

"Who was that" Bobby asked as Jack walked back into the kitchen.

"Buddy of mine setting something up for tonight" Jack told him, mostly truthfully.

"It's Sunday, it's a school night" Evelyn told him.

"Ma look out side, I think it's safe to say we're gonna have a snow day tomorrow" Jack stated, trying not to stare as Bobby reached for his soda can,

"What time will you be going out?" Evelyn asked.

"Nine" Jack told her, his eyes on the can.

"For how long?"

"A couple hours"

"Alright, but no later than eleven okay?" Evelyn frowned at Jack, following the direction of his gaze.

She saw Bobby starting to pop the can, realised what Jack had done and was fast enough to pull Lizzie to a safe distance before Bobby broke the seal and pressurised soda spurted out, covering Bobby from head to foot in soda.

"Oh you son of a BITCH!" Bobby yelled as Jack roared with laughter, actually falling to his hands and knees clutching at his stomach.

"That's not funny Jack, this is my best jacket!" Bobby snapped angrily.

"That's sad man, you sound like a girl, you sound like la vida loca" Jack laughed.

"Ma, I have to kill Jack" Bobby shook his head, running at his brother.

Jack, still laughing, let Bobby tackle him and lay on the ground as Bobby straddled him, punching his upper arm repeatedly.

"Dead arm ya little fucker!" Bobby yelled.

"You hit like a girl!" Jack chuckled.

"Bobby let him up" Evelyn called half heartedly.

"He aint listenin" Lizzie told her.

"You gonna make me hurt you more?" Bobby asked, leaning forward to knuckle Jack's head.

"Hurt me more? You haven't hurt me yet!" Jack yelled.

Bobby stood and grabbed Jack by the ankles, dragging him through the kitchen and out the back door, pushing him onto the thick snow. Jack was laughing the entire time, even as Bobby closed the door and locked it, leaving Jack in the snow.

Lizzie emerged from the house a minute later, carrying Jack's coat and zipping up her own.

"You gotta think up a name for your snowman, then we know what kind of snow man he'll be" Jack told her, pulling his coat on with a grateful smile.

"Oscar" Lizzie told him "Like the awards"

"That's a pretty awesome idea" Jack raised an eyebrow "Alright gat your gloves on and lets get to it, -Bobby, get your lazy ass out here and help!" He yelled the last.

Bobby emerged wearing a new, dry coat and picked Lizzie up affectionately, throwing her over one shoulder.

"Jack where's Lizzie?" he asked as Lizzie giggled.

"I don't know man" Jack played along.

"Ma we lost Lizzie!" Bobby told Evelyn as she stood in the door way watching them.

"Well damn it, I better go call social services tell em we lost another one!" Evelyn smiled.

As Bobby spun holding Lizzie, Jack passed the girl a snowball which she neatly dropped down the back of Bobby's clothes.

Bobby actually squealed and hurriedly shrugged Lizzie off his shoulder, into a snow drift, yelping as he tried to fish the snow out of his clothes.

Jack helped Lizzie up and they ignored Bobby's vague threats of retaliation and set to work on the snow man, the powdery white snow fluttering around them.

Jack felt the buzz of heat rush up his nose, through his skull as the cocaine entered his system, coursing through him in a white hit flash of ecstasy.

He lay back on the couch in Ray Markhams den, his eyes fluttering closed as he rode out the buzz, sniffing almost constantly, a layer of sweat covering his skin. It had been two months since his first Job for Hook and with each client, Hook gave Jack better and better stuff. Ray was a semi regular who preferred it when Jack was as out of it as he could get.

"There you go" Ray smiled, lounging beside Jack, stroking the boys hair gently.

"D….don't" Jack brushed his hand away, turning his head to the side as Ray sidled closer.

"Alright" Ray withdrew his hand, already knowing enough about Jack to know to move away if Jack told you to move away

He slid his hand down Jack's arm and held it aloft, touching the scars and cuts there, all of which had quadrupled in number since that first job.

"So angry" He murmured, staring down at the semi conscious Jack "Why are you so angry?" he asked.

Jack came back to himself enough that his eyes fluttered open and he gave Ray a look, an empty, dark look.

He leaned forward and snorted another line of the cocaine Hook had given him, rubbing furiously at his nose as his head snapped back. The hit didn't have the desired effect.

He sat, riding the high again as Ray tried to move closer, but Jack pushed him away more forcefully "Get off me Ray" Jack muttered, "Don't fucking touch me" he rubbed at his eyes, wanting very suddenly to be home.

Jack stood, unsteadily blinking as if having trouble with the light.

He looked down at his shaking hands, his dirty, bitten down nails, ran a hand through his lank, greasy hair.

"I don't want to be here" he whispered to himself, "I don't want to be here" he repeated even louder.

"Say what?" Ray asked him.

"I…this isn't right, I shouldn't be here" Jack rubbed his eye again, the sudden realisation that he didn't want to be where he was, be doing what he had been doing brought tears to his eyes and he grabbed at his hair, pulling it hard enough that it hurt.

"I'm outta here man" he shook his head, walking forward to grab his jacket.

Ray caught his arm suddenly, an odd smile on hid face "You're not going any where Jack, I paid Hook already, just finish out the night, then you can go" he said calmly.

"Let the fuck go of my arm" Jack told him.

"Are you gonna finish up the night?" Ray asked.

"No" Jack told him "Look I get high so I can do this shit and not care, but guess what? Its not workin anymore, it bothers me that I'm here so I'm gone" he tried to pull his arm back but Ray tightened his grip.

"Jack, I don't give a fuck how you feel. I paid for a service and I'm gonna get it" He stated.

"Not from me" Jack twisted his arm to the side and his hand slipped easily through Ray's hand.
Grabbing his coat, Jack turned and headed for the door, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to hear Ray move. Ray was effeminate, but he was big, muscular, and taller than Jack, and when he grabbed the back of Jack's hair and slammed him forward into the wall, there was nothing Jack could do to stop it.

"I said you're not leaving" Ray hissed into Jack's ear, pressing himself against Jack's back.

"Get off me" Jack growled, fear flooding through him in a wash that made his knees go weak.

"No" Ray said simply.

Jack reached back to try and grab at Ray's hand in his hair but Ray caught Jack's skinny wrists in one massive hand, holding them against the back of Jack's skull with one hand. His other hand, he slid under Jack's t-shirt, running his hand over Jack's skin.

Jack bucked and tried to push away from the wall with his legs but Ray made a sweeping motion with one leg, hooking Jack's leg with his own so that Jack was off balance. Some how, Ray used this stance to pin Jack to the wall as he leaned forward and whispered in Jack's ear "I've been waiting for you to get like this, I like it hen there's a struggle"

Jack tried to yell but Ray wordlessly slammed Jack's head against the wall, dazing him. He ran his hand over Jack's skin again, sliding his hand low on Jack's stomach. He let his hand hover at the top of Jack's jeans, seeming to savour it as he pushed himself against Jack's back.

"Don't" Jack whispered, tears beginning to flow down his face "Please don't"

Ray chuckled and let one finger run along the top of Jack's jeans, his laugh turning cruel as Jack shuddered.

As he slid his hand even lower, Jack very suddenly managed to kick off the wall, shoving them both backwards hard.

Ray fell, but kept his grip on one of Jack's wrists, dragging the fifteen year old down with him. Jack was growling ferally, trying to pull away from Ray but Ray yanked Jack forward and slapped him across the face, splitting Jack's lip. Jack barely reacted though, throwing a punch at Ray. It connected and Ray dazedly let go of Jack's hand suddenly enough that Jack fell backwards onto his rear, landing with a yelp of surprise. Jack turned and ran but Ray, angered now, pushed himself to his feet and staggered after him, running through the house. He caught Jack at the door and simply grabbed the back of his jacket, swinging him around and sending Jack crashing into a bookcase. Jack hit the floor but still tried to crawl away as Ray walked over and aimed a kick at Jack's ribs that connected with a sickening crunch.

Jack cried out in agony and Ray dragged him to his feet, pushing him back against the wall almost playfully. He stepped up close as Jack fixed him with a truly murderous glare.

"I'm gonna fuck you" Ray grinned smugly at Jack "And there's nothing you can do to stop me" he cocked his head to one side as Jack weakly tried to push away from the wall.

Ray smugly stepped back and Jack threw another solid punch and ran but even as he reeled from the blow, Ray grabbed Jack and slammed him against the wall face first again, twisting Jack's arms and staggering him so Jack really couldn't run away. He hurriedly unbuckled his belt and fly and after bouncing Jack's head against the wall once more, he dragged Jack back toward the den, yanking at Jack's jeans as he went.

Jack slowly opened the front door and stepped into the house, every part of his body aching as he pushed the door closed behind him. He had stopped shaking hours ago, he didn't have the energy even for that after Ray- he squeezed his eyes closed, stopping the thought in its tracks as he listened hard for the sounds of the family. They where in the kitchen, so he wordlessly headed toward the stairs.

"Jackie is that you?" he heard Jerry call "Come say hi!"

"I gotta wash up" Jack called back hoarsely, flinching as he thought he felt a hand caress his skin.

He hunched over his stomach as nausea suddenly flowed through him and ran up the stairs, slamming the bathroom door behind him, panting as his stomach threatened to heave. The feeling passed and stared at himself in the mirror over the sink.

"Stupid" he told his own reflection "Stupid fuck…what did you think would happen?" he looked at himself in the mirror, taking in his cut lip, the jagged cut over his eyebrow, the bruises on one cheek where he had hit the wall.

"What else was he gonna think huh?" he sneered at himself in the mirror, loathing every inch of skin he could see "You went there for one reason and one reason only dumb fuck, you got what you fucking deserved. You where made for this" he told himself "Your dad knew it" he whispered "He knew you where only fucking good for one thing you stupid, stupid prick and that's all you're ever going to be good for. You better learn to love it" he spat.

He was gripping the sides of the sink so badly his hands hurt as he opened them and stormed from the bathroom to his bedroom, locking his door behind him.

He pulled off his jacket and dropped it on the ground, staring at his own reflection o the full length mirror he had in one corner. He turned so he could see where his jeans where torn on the seam where Ray had pulled at them. "Stupid prick" he called himself.

He rolled up the long sleeves of his sweater and stared at the cuts and scars there, the urge to let the badness of what had happened out with a cut filling him so suddenly and strongly that he turned his stereo on to full blast and tipped the mirror over, shattering the reflective glass. He kicked the frame aside and picked up a jagged piece of glass, gripping it tight enough that the edges cut into his fingers and palm. He held the edge to his wrist, preparing to cut across then stopped, realising that all the badness from Ray would be too much for small cuts across his wrist. He re angled the make shift blade, pressing it to his skin, pushing down, that first swell of blood and pain bringing him a peace he could never have found with out it. He pulled the blade down, one quick swipe, marvelling at the amount of badness that flowed out. Transferring the shard he cut his other wrist, some tiny part of his mind telling him he had killed him self. But he didn't care. He slumped to the floor, leaning back against his bed, the mirror shard dropping from his hands as the blood poured from his wrists. He heard, on the edge of hearing, over the heavy rock music that played, the thump of some one at his door, and a distorted noise that could have been a yell.

Watching his blood flow out of him Jack smiled slightly, realising a promise that had been made to him years ago was finally coming true. He had been told he would never be hurt again, and now, he was ensuring that that was the case.

His head began to pound painfully and he let himself slump to one side, feeling numbness creeping up his arms and the tugging feeling of sleep behind his eyes.

'I haven't slept through the night since I was a kid' he thought, detachedly, 'finally, I can sleep like a regular person'

He happily gave himself up to sleep snickering to him self that Ray would have to find some one else from Hook. As he fell into the blissfully empty darkness, Jack relished the feeling of being, at last, free of the darkness inside him.