The Life and Times of an Average Coward

Chapter 12: Face your Fears

Warning: I wasn't able to proof read this because I want to sleep.

Slightly changed up minor things like clarification that Kanao is a boy on this fic.

The bustling city of Asakusa, Tokyo.

Tall buildings, crowded streets with different people walking alongside each other, some wearing western clothes but majority were still sticking to tradition, different savory scents from food stalls lingered and different sounds came from all over the place. It was bright despite being nighttime, lanterns and a few scant electric bulbs can be seen everywhere, illuminating the busy streets and cementing the fact that this city is the capital of activity even in nighttime.

To say the least, it was a bit overwhelming after living my life in a small village. This place is a far cry from the nearby fairly modernized town around our area where I rode a train to get here.

It's like looking back at modern Tokyo, when Mama and I visited some relatives. I don't remember much of it anymore since I was only eight back then, but I remember having the same overwhelmed feeling as I am feeling right now.

Ukogi's soft chirping brought me back to reality, doing the total concentration breathing, I exhaled all of my anxiety out as I smiled and nodded to him.

This is where my first mission is located, and from what I've been told, it's a pair of demons who had always worked together somehow as a symbiotic unit, both preferring young mothers as their meals.

The premise of my targets was a horrifying reminder of the demons who ate Kaa-san and Tsutako-nee (who I think was mistaken as Yuu's mother according to his retelling), the ones who attacked Daiki-ojiichan and left to die.

It's probably not them, I'm probably just looking too much into it.

Shaking my head and slapping my cheeks repeatedly, I carefully ignored the funny looks I'm getting. I methodically did my concentrated breaths once again to keep my head clear.

I can't afford to panic. This is important, human lives are at stake, if I don't do my job right someone would get hurt.

Breathing exercise done, I straightened my yukata turned haori while simultaneously looking down at the standard issue uniform if there were any creases.

~Are you okay?~

"Yep," I sighed. "And I'll try to stay okay."

~You don't have to worry too much Zenitsu, Oyakata-sama sent you as a reinforcement to the person in command of the mission. And that person in charge is a Hashira, so just do your best to do your part!~

"Okay, you're right."

Bad thoughts off. Bad thoughts off. I need to stay calm; lives are at stake here.

Dread gripped my heart once again when the familiar sound of a demon reached my ears. I looked towards the right when a distinct distorted sound came shrieking like a beacon.

Cold sweat trickled down my brow as my whole body froze in fear.

There's not one, but two of them.

I need to move. Desperately, I tried to move my fingers like the first thing that I'd do when I'm under sleep paralysis. And just like when I'm having a nightmare, it was getting harder and harder to breat―

"KAA-CHAN! NOOOO!" "MAYAAA!" "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! SOMEBODY HE―"

The fearful screams from the distance rang through my ears yet the people all around me remained passive about it, likely not hearing the cries for help and the visceral sound of despair it carried.

There's a whole family desperately pleading… I flinched.

I need to be there.

Without much anymore thought, I started weaving in and out of the crowd swiftly, not crushing into any busy body, my ears still focused to my destination, while fear crept at my throat and negative thoughts came resurfacing.

What if I'm too late?! What if I'm not enough?! What if the Hashira doesn't come in time?! Who's gonna save the children?! What if I―

"TOU-CHAAAAAN NOOOOOOOO!"

No! The father's sound disappeared!

I slapped myself once again.

Now's not the time to get cold feet! You're doing this! You're gonna do this! Their father's already gone, you have to be there Sen, you cowardly bitch! *Kaya mo to!

My natural quick feet and the use of the breathing technique got me out of the crowd easily and I came facing a side of an inn at a back alley, with no further hesitation, I jumped towards the large tube protruding from the wall and started leaping up until I've reached the rooftop.

There's two demon over there with the children!

The cold night wind blew past me, ruffling my hair and clothes. Looking down from the height, the view from above wasn't scary at all, if anything it was beautiful, the lights illuminating the busy street looking lovely against the darkness, a juxtaposition to the alarming event currently happening.

Just a reminder that the world would still revolve even if humans die on a daily basis.

Never before had I ever thought on doing one of those dangerous parkours where a person goes roof hopping from one tall building to the next, but seeing the situation, it would be faster here than weaving across the crowd.

(Besides, I think this would be far easier than hopping from one tree to another like what I often do in the Tsuchikage Forest as part of Jii-chan's training.)

Following where the unsettling sound was coming from, I started jumping one roof to another, automatically making use of the full concentration breaths for additional speed boost, honing in quickly to a sparsely populated residential area. Landing to the ground, I continued running towards the nearby forested area where the cries and the two demons were located, and in three minutes, I was there.

Face to face with the horrifying familiar sight.

(Why?)

Chills went down my spine involuntarily, leaving me in cold sweat and shaken.

A huge centipede body that blocked the moonlight from over the skyline, even larger than what I remembered, its red shell glinting ominously, sturdy spikes on its back with hundreds of glassy lifeless eyes aligned at its side, staring at me in apathy. Captured on its remaining human like arms located near its human head was a corpse of a young woman.

The sight of it was like the ones featured on my nightmares.

(Why is it here?)

Blood splattered all around as the other mouth located under the human face bit the woman's head off, the cries of the wailing children ensnared within its legs sounded distant to my ears. Their pain and suffering, echoing the feelings of my three-year-old self, making the vision of that blood-filled night fourteen years ago more vivid than it should.

It's that thing.

(Why is it here?! Why? Why? Why?! WHY?! WHY?!)

There was a spike of killing intent then―

Duck!

I rolled away as a huge scorpion tail retracted from piercing the ground, facing where the attack came from, I faced the other demon that was present.

The spiky red-haired demon looked relatively normal compared to his grotesque companion, with only a few added appendages. Namely, the looming black scorpion tail on his back with tiger-like red stripes and attached to his waist were a pair of claws with the same pattern. His eyes were red with a black sclera, insanity and hunger can be easily seen on his gaze, matching the crazy red tiger stripes running all over his tanned body.

But looking more closely, I'm not even sure if those red stripes were marks or the blood that came from his recent victim. A body of a man was on his feet and on his left hand was severed bloody arm.

I blankly stared at him as I don't know on how I should react right now.

It's him, the other sound lurking that night. The one who killed Kaa-san and Daiki-ojiichan.

"Ho? A demon slayer?" Arrogance dripped in his baritone voice, a smug smirk stretching over his lips, casually tossing the severed arm over his shoulder. How could a pleasant-sounding voice come from someone so insidious? "That was fast, we haven't even gotten to the main course yet."

Tilting his head to the side, his smirk widened as he saw my shaking legs.

"Oohh… you smell quite nice."

Chills went down my spine as a raspy voice sounded from above, slowly, I lifted my head up and my breath hitched as soon as I looked up.

The pleasant face of a young man stared back at me, but the only one thing that caught my attention was the one on the center of his forehead.

Amber.

My eyes honed in on the lone eye that was identical to my own.

Kaa-san…

"Hmmm…" His face lowered further only three meters apart from me as I stood frozen with shaking legs. "Your eyes. I want them. They look like this beautiful one here." One hand came up to the lifeless eye, and his second mouth grinned, the rows of sharp teeth with some flesh and bone still stuck in between made itself known, the foul smell of decay and death coming from it had my eyes watering at the sheer rancidness.

That was Kaa-san's eye.

…

"I love you my Songbird."

…

Everything around me started spinning on itself, the discorded sound of both demons sounded way too loud for my ears, my heartbeat coming in second, the panicked chirping of Ukogi and the shrill cries of the children became white noise to me as I suddenly feel light on my feet.

I know that the Scorpion Demon was saying something to mock me, but all of that was left unheard as I tried to swim through my own head full of molasses.

Distantly, I heard a torrent of cutting wind coming from the far northwest before my whole world tipped to the side.

It seems like my legs gave out on me and I can hear their laughter, taunting me for being a useless cannon fodder, for being a pathetic little wuss.

It's over. The tears that have gathered in my eyes fell one by one.

I'm going to die again.

"You're no fun at all." Footfalls came to my right as the Scorpion Demon came closer. "But I guess we'll have to skip the main course for now, and go straight to dessert."

I closed my eyes, accepting the faith that I've been given. It was a good run at life at least, considering the friends and family I had lived with. It was fulfilling being surrounded by the people around me, being loved and cherished by them. And Jii-chan…

…

"Make sure to come back."

…

Jii-chan's last words before I went for this mission came coming back in, jolting me back to what I'm doing, lying down and readying myself to be eaten by the very same demons who had haunted my countless nightmares. The very same demons who have taken the lives of the people that I love, the very same reasons why Yuu held hatred deep in his heart.

"Bring them back! Bring Kaa-chan and Tou-chan back! Spit them out you stupid centipede monster! Let me and my siblings go you bastard!" A boy, the eldest of the three children kept banging on the limb that had them captured, his little siblings doing the same.

It was such a wakeup call seeing children try to help themselves in their own situation despite it being a futile endeavor.

Something that I can't even say the same for myself.

Well… I really am pathetic. Even those children are braver than me.

"Hey Hyaku, can you shut those three up! I have enough of their wailing." The scorpion demon said it in an irritated tone and I watched in horror as the children went eerily close to the giant monstrosity's mouth.

My breath hitched at my throat as I watched it happen. I need to move now if I want to save them. I need to calm down and just fucking move.

…

"Don't panic when facing those Demons, once they get to you, that's the end."

…

I let myself inhale deeply, and it's a damn good thing that the smaller of the two wasn't taking action, probably thinking along the lines that I'm too cowardly to move and he's basically right on that part.

That's what I was going to do if it weren't for the people relying on me and all the promises that I've made to keep myself alive.

Man, I really am pathetic.

…

"Calm your heart and take a deep breath, always have confidence on yourself and your ability."

…

Remembering those words gave me strength to get my shit together. I can do this. I've trained my ass for this. The children are in danger and I need to do my damn job right!

Closing my eyes to seal off my sense of sight, so that I wouldn't have to see what I'm currently afraid of, focusing only on my ears, taking on the advice that Tengu-jiji had imparted to me when I'm facing what I'm deeply scared of.

Alright Sen, you can do this. You've trained for this. Just don't look, close your eyes, listen and most importantly,

I shot up from my lying position, by the sound of it the scorpion demon wasn't expecting that. Sliding into position, I heard the wisteria charms tinkle with the movement as I placed my hand on the handle, thumb pushing up the guard.

I need to breathe and survive.

"Storm Breathing, Fourth Form: Thunderstorm."

Putting power to my legs, I ran past the redheaded demon, taking out his pincer claws and his right arm while I'm at it.

"Grrr… you'll pay for that bitch!" Unfortunately, I was only able to nick his neck before he dodged and got pass him. Taking extra care of the whipping scorpion tail and taking no heed of the curses being hurled at me, staying focused on my true goal in getting the children back to safety.

You can do this Sen. No big deal, Jii-chan and Tengu-jiji's training was way more difficult than this. Just don't open your eyes and don't let panic sink in. Kaya mo to!*

By this time, the person with the sound of savage cutting winds had entered the clearing as I managed to cut off some of the giant centipede legs. The person's ferocious angry sound doubling as I hear the sound of a blade slicing through flesh.

Then the centipede demon underneath my feet started going wilder.

Tonight's targets were two demons that Shinazugawa Sanemi specially hates the most.

It was a pair of demons who prey on young mothers and would-be mothers, a duo who wouldn't bother with the children nor the father, a pair of sick fuckers who enjoyed the despair of the family left behind.

Just thinking about it makes his blood boil with hatred at the depravity of those monsters.

He came in rushing onto the clearing, nichirin blade already in hand as he felt his hair stand on end at the static that can be felt through the air. The sound of thunder rang through his ears as something yellow zoomed in onto his periphery as large insectoid legs fell from above, a shrill cry coming from the a heavily fanged maw of the hideous creature because of its limbs getting detached.

Sanemi's anger flared even further when he saw the three crying children being held hostage by the gigantic centipede demon's arms, eerily close to its gaping jaw. Close by, he noted the other demon was also currently being occupied by the slayer, relentlessly and futilely trying to stab the quick footed teen with his scorpion tail in tandem with the centipede demon's wild movement in order to offset the slayer's footing on its large body.

Having enough of it, Sanemi created a wound on his left arm, letting blood flow freely, and the demon duo's reaction was immediate.

Both demons swerved to face his direction, their open mouths salivating at the scent of his blood. The bigger demon started bucking wildly as the scorpion demon ran mindlessly towards him, taking this opportunity, Sanemi cleanly sliced off the disgusting creatures head with one quick stroke, not even needing a breathing form.

Sanemi noticed that the unknown slayer had also taken this opportunity and took off the arms holding the children hostage.

"Storm Breathing, Second Form: Storm Surge!" Using the momentum of the large creature's approach towards Sanemi, they swooped in from below, leaping and giving multiple flowing quick slashes from different directions, generating cutting winds.

It easily took out the arms precisely, not even grazing the children encased on it. But the most important part still remains, it was not strong enough to slice off the head.

Of course, Sanemi was already there for the follow up.

"Wind Breathing, Eight Form: Primary Gale Slash!" Leaping through the air, Sanemi swung his sword horizontally, generating winds and cutting of its head easily.

Landing, Sanemi looked back and saw the unnamed competent slayer fussing over the children and their injuries.

And yes, he could admit it to himself – and no, he is not going to say it out loud – they are competent. Competent enough to withstand two mid-level demons at the same time while also keeping in mind of the children being taken hostage. That much takes skill and Sanemi had been informed that the person assisting him was supposed to be a rookie at demon slaying and one of the five who recently passed the Final Selection.

"Sa-Samurai-san! Can you help with Kaya's arm? It's bent all weird. Look at hers first and don't mind me!"

"But Nii-chan, you're bleeding!"

And that he was, his tiny fist and arms were bleeding, yet the boy kept a brave face despite the tears obviously trying to leak through his eyes.

"This is nothing, these are just small wounds that look worse than they do." Then he grinned, barring his teeth.

Sanemi knows it very well why the boy was acting all tough.

It's the duty of the oldest brother.

The boy couldn't be older than ten and yet he was assigned to a great burden. What a cruel world they live in. Leaving fucking children to fend for themselves.

It' s all those damned demons' fault.

"Tch."

Kicking the demon's ashes that he just killed, his eyes caught on the hundreds of eyeballs lying on the ground.

Sick fucker even had the gall to keep those as fucking trophies.

"Let me see that." Sanemi said rather gruffly, stomping towards them, causing the children and the teen to flinch.

"U-Um, okay Hashira-san."

That got Sanemi's attention – How the fuck? – so, he faced the mizunoto for the first time.

Fuck, is it a boy or a girl?

Wide amber eyes with thick long lashes, rose tinted lips and cheeks, soft features and an unusual hair color the likes of Kanroji. It was very much hard to tell whether they're a boy or a girl, seeing that appearances doesn't equal to their gender. Seeing that Tokito, Kiriya-sama and Shinobu's tsugoku could all pass off as a woman with their faces.

Whatever. I'm calling him a he.

"Will Kaya-nee and Ichigo-nii be okay?" Asked the youngest child who could only be five, tears in his huge silver eyes.

Fuck! They're still so young, fucking demons should all go back to fucking hell where they fucking belong! Sanemi gritted his teeth, his earlier fury towards the demons resurfacing once again.

The other slayer paused from clearing away Kaya's tears – the second eldest, only eight – facing the little boy and in turn facing Sanemi's direction. And he was treated to the sight of a sad gentle smile, melancholic amber eyes filled with understanding, a clear sign that this person had also gone through a similar experience.

Another person who probably had lost someone to a fucking demon.

The blonde proceeded to pat the child's head. "Don't worry, your Kaya-nee and Ichigo-nii would be alright. This would be over in just a few." The hand patting the boy's head move towards the boy's cheek. "So don't worry alright, everything's going to be fine now."

There were tears on the verge of falling from the blonde's eyes and it's clear that he would have broken down after the demons were defeated, but he kept strong and gave a smile instead. Sanemi could respect that, this guy is probably weak at heart but somehow got himself into something dangerous.

Maybe not weak per se, easily shaken should be the word.

"Come on, let's go to your house and get you all treated."

…

The two of them made quick work with the siblings' injuries, all done with hands that were used to treating them.

"There, all done." The blonde gave another one of his gentle ass smiles. Reassuring them once again.

Come to think of it, I still don't know his name.

"Hey you." Sanemi scoffed when the blonde flinched.

"A-ah, yes?"

"What's your name?"

For a moment, the teen didn't seem to register what he just asked and just stared at him and blinked.

Then a massive blush rose on his cheeks and bowed at the waist.

"I-I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier! M-My name is Agatsuma Zenitsu, it's n-nice to meet you Hashira-san!"

Wait, that name sounds familiar.

"Damn your loud."

Where did I hear that name again?

"I-I'm sorry!"

"Stop that already! And my name's not Hashira, the name's Shinazugawa Sanemi. Remember that."

Damn I swear I heard that name somewhere!

"O-Of course, Shi-Shinazugawa-senpai!"

"Lift your head up already, it's disrespectful to talk to someone without looking at their face."

Fuuuuuuck… I swear I heard it somewhere recently. But where?!

"Y-Yes!"

He straightened himself out, all stiff and nervous, but the look in his eyes seemed like he wanted to tell Sanemi something.

Damn this! I'll fucking find out the answer later.

"What is it?"

"A-Ano… W-Where would the children be staying for now. T-The night is still deep and they need to rest." He diverted his eyes to the side, eyeing the massive hole on the wall, broken wood and debris all scattered around them. "I d-don't think that this place would be a good place to stay the night at."

Well, he's not wrong. And besides, Sanemi glances at the children who were clearly under shock after all that shit happened to them. They need to get away from here.

"Follow me, I know a place."

"A-Ah wait a sec, I'm going to pick up s-something." Then the blonde made his way outside, his eyes intent on something.

Sanemi watched him as he picked up something from the ground, cupped it in his hands as if he were in prayer, before he placed it on a small pouch and wipe off his face.

Sanemi didn't saw what exactly what the teen picked up but when he came back to them, the corner of his eyes was slightly redder and he looked like someone just told him that sweets no longer existed in this world. He didn't bother asking what that was and it's none of his business to know.

All that he knows was that the kid was reliving old pain.

We carried the children towards a place where they can rest properly with the trauma in mind.

A place where Demon Slayers were treated as honored guests as thank you for saving their family.

The Fujisaki Family are a widespread family with many estates scattered across the country. Additionally, they are a very wealthy family that does trade and inns for business, a very great help when it comes to lodgings and for injured Demon Slayers to rest at, with family doctors available in each one of them.

Or so what I think we were heading to, Hashi- I mean Shinazugawa-senpai hadn't said anything since leaving the forest.

I got Kaa-san's eye,and Tsu-nee's eyes and even the the silver eyes that resembled little Jirou's in my little pouch, proof that the creatures that had tormented my nightmares were finally gone. I still can't believe that I had faced them both head on in a battle.

I know that I wasn't the one who had dealt the killing blows but the fact still remained that I confronted them and fought, that I was capable of doing something that I can't imagine myself doing. Yes, I had faced demons during the Final Selection and yes, I was able to – albeit clumsily – cut through them, but this, this was different.

Those two were different.

I feel so out of place.

I feel like crying and laughing at the same time.

I feel proud of myself, sad, relieved, happy and scared all the same.

The slight sting on my ankle where the scorpion tail had grazed felt too real to be a dream.

It wasn't all for nothing after all.

Frankly speaking, I am not seeking for revenge, my heart is too weak for something so visceral and heavy. And either way, I can't see myself going down that path no matter how much motivation ammo that I have in doing so. I know myself inside out, I know that in that case, I would just wither away in bitter helplessness and self-loathing that I wasn't capable of doing anything.

I would probably go to the depressed kid route if I hadn't had a reason to pick myself back up, if it wasn't for Yuu, I would probably let myself go to waste starting that night.

And that day, when Yuu came the very next morning, all that I can hear was the darkness and the storm waging on a used to be calm ocean. It was unsettling in so many different levels, the happiness and the childish vigor that he had the day before was gone right after.

Sorrow and mourning were all I can hear from the very quiet siblings – not a good sign – that was overlayed by the rough furious sound that the Hashira was producing. The musical number it all creates was nothing short of a dark lullaby, something children their age shouldn't be making, Yuu had almost the same outlook then, but he cried and let it off on me.

As expected, tears gathered in my eyes in no time from just remembering it. These children were another victim of how Life could be so harsh in a flash, one minute they were a happy family, the next, two pillars that supported and sheltered them were gone, just like that.

I can totally emphatize with them.

The darkness and the pain in their hearts were evident.

But the thing that I am most concerned about was that they're not letting it out and keeping them all in. That's clearly unhealthy and destructive, a thing that Yuu had trouble about when all of our wounds were fresh and new.

And I'm still infuriated with him for keeping up that unhealthy practice.

I can hear that Shinazugawa-senpai was also concern about the children's stillness yet he wasn't doing anything. I had an idea of why, the children aren't really comfortable with him, the main reason why the younger ones were hitching a ride on me.

Kaya on my arms and little Jirou on my back while Ichigo was being carried piggyback style by the white haired Hashira.

A Hashira that Yuu had explicitly warned me about that has anger management issues.

From the looks of it, he was everything Yuu had told me about.

But he left off the fact that he was very gentle with children.

(Or maybe this dude just doesn't like showing that side of him to everyone.)

The children's stillness was getting on my tear ducts so before I could embarrass myself to my senpai, I have to this.

Enough of this, this isn't healthy for them.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth.

"It's alright to cry you know?" That got everyone's attention all at once, I felt like hiding myself in a hole somewhere but these words were needed to be said.

"You guys don't have to bottle it all up, I…" Goddamnit. A tear fell over my cheek. "I understand what you guys are going through and you need to let it all out, don't bottle it up."

And it's true, seeing the goddamn thing that swallowed Kaa-san was like reaping of the stitches from a recently shut wound with no anesthesia.

I heard sniffling from the back and I felt the tiny arms looped around my neck squeezed tighter.

"Cry, because you're in pain and sad. I k-know how much it hurts," Kaya trembled in my arms. "I know that everything's not okay and it feels like the world is ending." Jirou is full on crying now, hiding his face on my neck with Kaya sniffling in my arms while Ichigo was weeping bitter tears quietly. "Let it all out and cry, I know that it hurts and it will continue to hurt but someday," My voice broke so I took a breather.

"Someday, you guys will learn how to manage that pain but until then," I brushed off some of Kaya's tears as I tried to smile through the tears. "Support and take care of each other. Love each other. Survive, that's what your mother and father would have wanted." It's the ultimate FUCK YOU to Life.

"KAAA-CHAAAAN! TOOOU-CHAN!"

"WHYYY?!"

"P-PLEASE COME BAAACK!"

Their hurt filled wails echoed through the dark forest, waking up some of the creatures living there.

But that doesn't matter, it's their first step to healing.

"Great job, Agatsuma."

Those where the words spoken to me once the children were tucked in their individual futon, all of them decidedly relocated in one room.

And I smiled, feeling proud of myself for a mission well done.

It could have been better though. I could've come sooner and save these children all from the heartbreak. But that said, I don't have temporal powers to do that.

Standing up from my seat I look up to my senior.

"Y-You to s-sen―"

Why can't I move my mouth?

"Agatsuma?"

Wait… my body feels so stiff, why can't I move my neck?

"Oi, Agatsuma, what's wrong?"

Why are there two Shinazugawa-senpais? Why is everything so dark all of a sudden? Did I stand up too quickly?

"Oi, what the hell's wrong with y―"

My world suddenly tilted sideways, and I had a hard time identifying what was up or what was down, but before I could fall, I was caught in someone's arms.

"The fuck!"

Even his voice was starting to sound distant. But really, he shouldn't swear in front of children, even if they're asleep.

"Fuck! You're running a high fever!"

Am I dying? Am I dying again? I can't feel anything.

"Shit! Hold on, did you got done in with those fuckers? Did they hit you somewhere? Did Scorpion-Ass nick you somewhere?"

Oh yeah, I think that guy scratched me with his tail on my ankle.

"Grunt if I'm right."

I hummed instead.

"Fuck! Shit! You should have told me earlier you dumbass fuck!"

Was he worried? He doesn't seem like it, he should really watch what comes out of his mouth more though.

"Fuck! I'm gonna get you the fucking doctor! You better fucking stay alive when I get back or else I'll fucking kill you for being a dumb fuck." He gruffly said this while gently laying me back down. What a contradiction.

No promises though, you can't kill me if I'm already dead.

I heard his distant thumping footsteps while I stared at the ceiling, body feeling hella numb. I can't even feel myself breathing anymore but I kept through the motion of doing so. I don't know if I'm even doing it right.

It's an unnerving feeling to be this numb and it's even more unnerving with my ears not detecting every single sound from a kilometer away. My ears had always been the part of me that I trust the most, it's a huge part of me that had always been present when I came into this world.

Slowly as seconds pass by, black edges to my vision and the used to be noise filled world became silent for once and without my notice, I found myself welcoming the familiar darkness.

Omake: Kohaku (Amber)

K iriya stared at the back of the person which he had known about since he was able to remember, now carrying a fellow demon slayer who had injured his leg. Beside him, Kanata also stared as discretely as she could.

Well, he had known her through various exchanged letters but not in person just yet. He's just relieved that his prediction that she would make it out safely was enough to make him happy and in a good mood the whole day.

Last week, when he first saw her, Kiriya had to hold himself back from running over towards her fainted self. It was a hard struggle to keep themselves neutral as the very first friend they had made aside from family collapse like that.

She sure was as easily flustered and timid as she had described herself.

Senritsu was everything the other had described her to be and more.

Worried wide amber eyes that held light and warmth glanced away at every corner nervously, a sweet looking face that expressed her emotions openly and brightly colored hair restrained with her most precious possession. She was surprisingly quite tall with a lighter physique compared to the other examinees.

One look at her can easily evoke a sense of protectiveness, like a small deer who was just taking their first step.

Time and time again, according to the others, it was a joy being surrounded by her presence, the sheer warmth, sincerity and care she gives off was said to be a sort of therapy to them, being generally around her makes them happy and forget their past mission traumas, to just be themselves with no burdens.

Even through just her letters, her kind and generous personality can be felt, all the members of his family have a veritable collection of all the things she had given them, whether handcrafted or bought with them in mind.

I wonder how it feels like to talk to her.

That in mind, they must remain unbiased for this event until the end and he may or may have not sound rude to her earlier.

He was nervous okay? And he panicked, so he ended up sounding rude towards her.

But someday, he knows that he will have the opportunity to do so.

Kiriya doesn't like it, this ache that he's currently feeling residing inside of his chest.

The person he had been wanting to me meet was now lying on bed, unconscious after a mission gone bad to worse.

She looked so pale almost comparable to the white sheet covering her. Her bright blonde hair was the only color left in her, with the sickly purple markings across her skin that was a great reminder of the venom that had taken her down. Her limbs were now shorter and frail looking, Kiriya couldn't bring himself to imagine of what would've happen if Shinobu hadn't appeared on time.

I wouldn't have any chances then, I should thank Kochou-san later.

But what matters the most is she's doing fine now, just unconscious.

What if one day she was assigned to another mission and she won't be able to come back alive? What if I'm the one who assigned her to do it?

Soft hands took hold of his and Kiriya looked at his older sisters who were smiling gently at him.

"Don't worry Kiriya, I'm sure that we would finally be able to talk to Zen-nii* when she* wakes up." Nichika started. "Kochou-san is amazing at her work, I'm sure she would open her eyes soon." Hinaki finished in her usual factual manner.

"Hina-neesama is right." Kuina said from her place beside the sleeping blonde, her tiny hands holding onto a purple spotted hand. "And Zen-nii isn't weak either and she promised to meet us, didn't she?" Kanata added while carefully brushing Senritsu's hair.

"Kana's right. Listen to your sisters and stop overreacting Aniue or I'll slap you."

That's right. It's not like it's the end already.

Despite them looking cold and professional towards each other in an outsider's point of view, Kiriya could definitely say that they are a tight knit family. His family were the only people who would be able to tell what each other were feeling despite them holding the same facial expression all the time. They're also the people who knows what words to say to lift each other up. A testament to their togetherness as a family.

"Now Kuina, who's slapping who?" The familiar serene baritone entered the room and there by the door is their father being escorted by their mother.

"Ah! Chichiue! Hahaue! I'm sorry, I swear that Aniue deserves it, and it's something I wouldn't regret on doing."

"Oh," Their father smiled kindly. "If it's a slap that you wouldn't regret doing afterwards, it means that it's really a well-deserve one."

"Un, Otouto was thinking negatively once again Chichiue." Hinaki reported.

"He's thinking of things that is yet to happen again." Nichika continued.

"Is that so?" Amusement seemed to radiate in the man and Kiriya had this feeling that something in his future would happen that would reflect what his would say to this moment.

"Kuina?"

Kuina looked up cautiously, she had been scolded many times about her slapping habit. A slap that she would lament after doing it. "Yes Chichiue?"

"Remember to only slap Kiriya when he needs it, I'm sure that he'll need it in the future."

"Of course Chichiue."

"Chichiue?!" Kiriya gaped, his neutral façade now completely broken.

His mother closes his jaw for him.

"I agree, you never know if you ever needed a slap or two."

"Even you Hahaue?!"

"Lower your voice Kiriya, Senritsu is resting."

Kiriya supposes that he had a difficult expression right now. He only sighed and bared with it, it's one of those whimsical mood his father has.

"U-Um… Ano?" The room seemed to pause when a new voice entered the conversation.

"N-Nice to meet you all I guess."

~Taisho Secret~

Tsuyuri Kanao is not a girl. I had a hard time making this decision but I ended up going with it 'cause why the hell not? Creative liberty and all that shiz. Should I change his name to something else? Any suggestions people?

Also, during the fight, Ukogi flew somewhere safe.

*'Kaya ko to!' – I can do this!

'Kaya mo to!' – You can do this!

*Zen-nii and she – Sen convinced them to refer to her as Zen-nii and they are referring to her with gender neutral pronouns that could mean both she/he depending on the context.

A/N: Y'all people! Sorry if I can only update about once a month but, I ain't dead but I am dying 'cause of schoolwork. Literally.

After staying up for a few days finishing unending task and different projects, I eventually fainted with a nosebleed. Doing all nighters is something an anemic like me shouldn't be doing, but what can I say, I was pushed by the pressure of deadlines and doing good at school.

I've always been on the very grade-conscious side and I can admit that it was very unhealthy and Mama had lectured me plenty to stop worrying about ink on paper. Just afraid of disappointing them afterwards you know, typical Asian parents type of thing. Damn, my whole sleep sched is messed up!

But hey, did you guys expect angry wind scarry boi to appear on this chapter?

I'm not really very satisfied of how this was written and I had a really hard time pulling into Sanemi's POV and I had to rewrite a huge chunk because of it. I could really use some work when writing action scenes, it was a real struggle writing it since, as mentioned before, English ain't my first language. Writing it as stress-reliever was a huge good on me though, I haven't been able to watch any anime really and it makes me a little sad.

This author's note has gone long enough, and it's currently 2:10 in the morning and I should probably sleep.

Stay healthy and always keep breathing, until then!~

Edited: 12/30/2020