The Life and Times of an Average Coward
Chapter 13: Her (Part I)
Kaigaku peaked through the small slit between the thin paper doors, eyes wandering of what the blind caretaker was keeping in the small room. Kaigaku had seen the new kid that the crybaby monk-in-training was clutching on his thin arms, the kid was probably around his age, but he hadn't really got a good look at him other than that he was really pale and sweaty and most likely sick. All Kaigaku knew about him is that he was found passed out in the middle of the forest, probably gotten lost and fainted due to exhaustion.
(Maybe he was running away from something, like how Kaigaku ran away from the bastard who he was sold to. That time, Kaigaku ran and ran as far as his feet could take him, not giving a damn if it's all bloodied and bruised, he just want to be out of there. Away from the disgusting pervert who collects children with uniquely colored eyes. As much as Kaigaku wanted to forget, Kaigaku was one of the most precious ones, with his dull turquoise eyes.)
Done searching, he held his breath when he was finally able to set his one eye on who he was looking for.
He stared at the sleeping child, but before he could take in his appearance, Kaigaku's heart suddenly went to his throat when the closed lids of the sleeping boy(?) opened, only for intense rich amber – almost gold with the aid of the soft candlelight – to stare back at him directly with curiosity. It was the most intense ten seconds of Kaigaku's life, before a smile started forming on the boy's delicate features.
It was a sad thing.
His golden eyes were still a little red and puffy with some tear tracks still present on his overly flushed cheeks, a sign that he probably has a fever. The boy's hair was long – probably reaching the boy's back – and choppy, a right sort of mess on the futon that he currently laid on, glowing brown, yellow and orange with the provided lighting. His skin was pale, paler than even Kaigaku's to be healthy, but they still glowed like every part of the weak boy, who's smiling at him with sadness and warmth.
Kaigaku can almost physically feel the heat in those glowing golden eyes.
It was… new.
Kaigaku had long been used to the cold, the cold he had grown up to, the coldness of his old room having only a thin moth-eaten blanket as a shield, the coldness and the staleness of each meal while eating with his family, the coldness of his parent's eyes as they looked at him, the coldness of the chains that held him down to his equally cold cage, the cold that he lived and breathed for the longest of time.
He was also quite familiar with hate.
Hate that was ever present for his cold useless parents who also hated him back, and then hate for those who oppose him, for those who have what he doesn't have, for the perverted bastard that wants to keep him in a cage, hate for those who were cold to him, for those who wanted him to feel the cold, and lastly, he hated those who hated him. The last mentioned where the type that he hated the most.
Him being kept in this temple after having been caught stealing had introduced him to the comfort of being bathed in lukewarm water. It was a new experience then. Being surrounded by children his age who had grown up to this kind of environment.
(He hates them for having that luxury.)
The blind caretaker doesn't understand him nor did the other children, Kaigaku was sure that with that progress, the lukewarm water would soon grow colder and colder and colder until Kaigaku was left to bathe with the bone chilling cold once again.
(And he would choke in his hatred for them, so bitter and so cold and he is right Goddamnit! He is never wrong. As much as he knows, those who crosses him are in the wrong.)
This boy seemed to glow and give off heat.
Like the sun. This boy is the sun.
(Does the boy ever feel like he was boiling? Isn't that too much? Too much warmth for Kaigaku. He should be evaporating with this heat, disappearing—)
(Kaigaku wants to feel and bask in this heat. He doesn't care if he gets boiled, melted or evaporated. He just doesn't want to go back to the cold, cold, cold winter. The bone-chilling ice in his veins, the cold hatred and the cold, cold, cold, darkness of the gaping hole in his little box of happiness.)
"Kaigaku-kun," The deep rumble behind him made Kaigaku jump a little, turning around, he came face to hips towards the tall blind teen that Kaigaku somehow could tolerate despite his crybabiness. "You should be in bed right now." A large (luke)warm hand ruffled his hair and he bristled before slapping it away.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go do that any way, no need to fu—." He felt the sightless stare boar heavily onto him, and he glared before turning his back. "—dging lecture me. Just wanna see the new kid."
Kaigaku scowled then stomped his way towards the boys' shared bedroom, making sure that his loud footsteps can be heard, and he hopes that it wakes up somebody. He wishes it was Sayo, the youngest of them here, he hates her and her over all whininess and clinginess to the blind teen.
(Kaigaku hates her the most, because unlike most of them, she came into the temple while she was still a baby. No memories of being abandoned like the lot of them, no memories of wandering around and starving for days and certainly no memories of being sold and running away from their new "owner".)
But as he drew near their sleeping quarters, Kaigaku can't help but think back to the sick boy who had a sad smile but still managing to look like he was the damn sun.
That night, Kaigaku begins to dream about all that warmth wrapped around himself, always there with him, with no hatred heavy on his heart, just with his own sun in human form, always smiling at him and always looking at him with care and kindness.
A few years later, after spilling his hatred towards the concept of being a family because of one stupid meddling effeminate boy. Kaigaku would look back on the memory of the first time seeing Senritsu. It was certainly a memorable one, a lasting impression just with one gaze and a sorry excuse of a smile. Kaigaku tightened his hold on Senritsu as he let his tears fall for the first time since he was told that he was being sold off to some fucker, it was warm. Senritsu is warm to the touch just like Kaigaku suspected. She smelled like his favorite peaches, the rainforest and homemade red bean paste. It was wonderful. She is wonderful.
Kaigaku had never met a person who can be both so lovely and so warm.
(Slowly, the cold broken thing that was Kaigaku's forgotten box of happiness was being mended.)
Only her.
Only Senritsu.
This girl…
Sanemi stared at the girl currently resting on the futon. Her peaceful sleeping face seemed to mock him even further, her hair now unbound by the hat? Bandanna? (Whatever, it's like something Uzui would wear) splayed across the sheets, the only color that remained on her person, the redness on her cheeks had disappeared after breaking off the fever earlier this day. The sunlight coming from the open sliding panel, playing with her brightly colored hair, making it all the more golden, like the last streaks of sun beams stretching across the sky at dawn, emphasizing her paleness.
He didn't know since when or how he became a poet to say this crap, but, without her nervous doe like eyes darting about, it's like she's gone completely lifeless.
(Her eyes were so warm, so full of life and genuine kindness.)
It bothered him more than it should. Sanemi had only spent maybe a few mere hours interacting with her twitchy self yet he doesn't know why he felt this way towards her.
Maybe because she reminds him so much of someone. Someone precious to him. Someone who he held very dear and very close to his heart.
His mother was small – though the Agatsuma brat was not small by female standards, smaller than him at least – afraid, stupid – because if she was any smarter, why would she marry that fucking scum – but so, so very brave. Her smiles were always filled with warmth no matter how much pain she was in. Even if she was exhausted, even if she wasn't feeling well, she would still give that reassuring warm smile that never failed to put them at ease. A gentle voice, a gentle lullaby, despite the hoarseness from hours of crying from being that scum's fucking punching bag, she would still sing to them, every night in the comforts of their shared worn futon, it never failed to put them to sleep. She gives off kindness and care and love – even to that scum, even to that fucking bastard who dared to call himself her husband – and so much more to everyone she meets. So what if the Agatsuma brat was kind of like that, so what if she was always afraid but still have it in her to stand and fight. So what if she gives smiles that felt like the sun, despite her want to cry her big eyes out instead. So what if she could sing, so what if she could carry sweet gentle tones that promises warmth and comfort despite how everything looks like it would fall apart. So what if she's stupidly kind, always thinking of others more than herself, always giving others comfort despite her own pain. So what if she's all these things and that, so what if they shared some similarities. They don't even look alike or speak alike. Sanemi shouldn't even be comparing them to each other in the first place because it's unfair on Agatsuma, comparing her to someone long dead, comparing her to his long dead mother who he killed.
(Ha. He's really disgusting, isn't he? Comparing her to the dead. Comparing her to a person whose life he had ended with his own hands.)
Sanemi glared even harder at her sleeping face.
Why the hell didn't she tell me that she was a girl from the start?
Thick split eyebrows started knitting together, eyelids fluttering slightly as a small grimace started forming on pale lips.
"K-Kaa-san…"
Sanemi swiftly looked away and faced the open doorway, staring at the stone garden instead. It felt like he's witnessing something he shouldn't have. He clenched his fists tightly, remembering the small pouch that Agatsuma had on her person.
…
"How is he?"
The doctor squinted at him, sharply rearranging her reading glasses that was perched on her nose.
"It's, "How is 'she'?" Shinazugawa-san." She glared at him even further when she took in his surprised reaction but otherwise, barreled onto her diagnosis without a care. "Agatsuma-san is now stable, the venom in her body just needs to be sweated out and her body is reacting accordingly by running a high fever. The venom is highly paralytic and would have been capable of stopping the heart from beating from the slightest ingestion. The reason for the venom's delayed reaction might be because of her constant use of full concentration breaths, thankfully, she didn't stop even when she fell unconscious or else it would have gone really awry."
Sanemi directed his gaze towards the young 'woman' whose face was heavily flushed, her red lips quivering, mouthing words every now and then.
"I would give her the medicine once her fever breaks to help with the recovery and also," He glances back to the doctor, the stern woman holding out a black pouch with white triangles on it.
"What is it?" Sanemi took it, putting in a bit of pressure, he felt five round objects inside, they were squishy and firm like grapes but it's bigger than a normal one.
"I don't know, I found it on her person. That's al,l and I'll be taking my leave now." With a bland tight lipped smile and a bow, the medical professional let herself out.
Sanemi stood there, alone, his curiosity getting the best of him as he stared at the pouch, wondering what its contents are.
He knew that he shouldn't really be snooping in his subordinate's personal belongings but he was already untying the knot of the drawstring pouch before he could rethink it, opening it up to see its contents.
And what he saw had him in a full body shock.
Inside the small bag were five eyeballs.
One was a pair of metallic silver eyes, one that clearly resembled their current case's result – Kaya and Jirou's – it was still relatively fresh compared to the other three, with blood still present on the optic nerves that it was connected to.
The next pair was also a familiar one, one that Sanemi sees whenever he looked into a certain unemotional bastard's eyes. But this pair looked far more lifeless, the blue faded and dull unlike the rich blue irises that the water bastard has, and just looking at them sent goosebumps running across his skin and an irrational anger blooming in his chest.
Fuck Tomioka Giyuu for being able to get under his skin without even being present. The guy just entered a new level of annoying.
Lastly, the lone eye brought a different weight onto his chest, burning and uncomfortable. A dawning realization coming to him, a perfect conclusion based on Agatsuma's reaction alone after dealing with the pair of demons.
As if to solidify said conclusion, he heard a gasp from Agatsuma – an improvement to her earlier condition where she couldn't even lift her tongue – as tears started to fall from her eyes, staining her redden cheeks.
"K-Kaa-san! N-No… pleaseee!"
He immediately looked away, pulled the drawstring and placed the pouch on his inside pocket.
"Fucking hell."
Gritting his teeth, he knelt down and wiped away Agatsuma's tears and snot with his kerchief lest she drowns on it and make a mess of herself. Slowly, she settled down after a moment.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me that you weren't a man?" Sanemi asked even though he knew that he would not get an answer.
Thinking back, she probably thought it was unimportant with the situation at hand or – his mind replayed her flustered stuttering and the obvious nervousness she exuded in such high levels – she's just too timid to say anything.
Face wiped clean, he stared at Agatsuma's face once again and cursed himself why the hell he didn't just go with his gut instincts earlier, and why the fuck did he just let an injured woman carry two children earlier. Though honestly, he didn't know she was injured then, but the truth still stands.
His mother would have had his ass if she was here, probably talking his ears off with doing such an ungentlemanly thing.
"What a pain in the ass."
…
And what a pain it really was.
Sanemi couldn't leave because he must give the blasted pouch to her, and he could only do that if she was awake. The eyeballs were carefully preserved in an icebox to avoid it from rotting and was placed in a jar with an odd smelling liquid provided by the hag. The thing has been sitting there for two days now, like a demon's version of pickled grapes.
Damn, why couldn't she recover sooner?
(Well, Sanemi could actually leave already and just ask the couple who owned the house to give it to Agatsuma when she wakes up, but he dutifully ignores that the fucking option exists and reasoned that as her senior, he should at least take responsibility over his subordinates. Though undeniably, if it were anybody else, Sanemi would've stayed only until the news that the noob was stable and he'd be on his merry way, but for some reason something compelled him to stay. And no, he was not going fucking soft on the blonde, there's just no fucking way that would happen.)
Speaking of why the brat couldn't recover any sooner, Sanemi could hear three footfalls making their way to the room. It was the Morie siblings.
Sanemi had already expected that the children would be intimidated towards him, but he didn't expect that the three would take such a liking towards Agatsuma. After hearing that Agatsuma collapsed that night, the three children had been adamant on visiting the blonde and insistent on watching over her, even though Sanemi had already told them that it wasn't their fault that Agatsuma was currently unconscious. It's part of her job and that's one of the dangers of it.
The rice paper door slid open and there was about three seconds before the three children decided to go in, taking seats on the laid out zabutons (Japanese cushion) on the floor. Sanemi didn't bother to face them and continued staring at the garden outside, the familiar faint scent of the wisteria flowers blooming from the trees outside were almost calming if it weren't for the meaning behind being planted at this very house.
Demons gotta stay out somehow if a demon slayer was recovering here, a precautionary measure if ever the demon fuckers managed to find any of the Fujisaki houses. And if the house happened to stand in a land where it was not possible for a wisteria tree to thrive in, they have wisteria incense to turn back to.
There was the rustling of cloth and a sigh of relief.
"Looks like Agatsuma-san's fever broke." Ichigo the eldest said, relief in his voice.
"Does that mean she'll wake up soon?" Kaya asked, fiddling with the sleeves of her yukata.
"I don't―"
"The hag said that she'll probably wake up soon." Sanemi stretched his arms over his head, leaning back and letting his spine curve, the satisfying pop was music to his ears. "She's tough as you brats have seen during the fight and even managing to carry your crying asses. So, quit worrying your little heads already, it's fucking annoying." He stood up from his seat, making his way outside to occupy the training ground and let out some fucking steam to the training posts.
But before he could step foot on the engawa (outer corridor of a traditional Japanese house), a raspy, shaky voice spoke up.
"L-Language S-Senpai…"
He whirled his head back.
"The fuck?" He muttered.
"L-Language." The fucking brat even had it enough in her to glare and motion her head to the children.
"I can talk however the fuck I want, you stupid brat. But first of all," He walked back towards to his earlier place and grabbed the brat's collar. Sanemi ignored her squeaked of fear and the other brats' crying protest.
"You should've informed me immediately that you got fucking scratched by a scorpion's butt extension you fucking dumbass! Do you have fuckin' air for a brain or just plain stupid?!"
"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry for being s-stupid! I, I'm s-s-sor-r-ry!" She continued her apologies even if her voice kept cracking up.
(He should stop. He just woke up after all. But he's so angry, Sanemi had always let his anger drive him, he should really stop.)
He shook her back and forth for a few seconds, maybe if he did this, the fucking brat's brain would suddenly have some common sense.
"Are ya tryin' to get yourself killed?! What did you expect from a demon's scorpion stinger? A fucking all-cure vaccine?"
"I—"
"If you say sorry again, I'll make sure that you won't wake up when I put you to sleep."
Her mouth clicks shut.
(She's getting paler, Sanemi should really stop.)
"Shi-Shinazugawa-san you should—"
"Educate her. I know, so shut it brats." He cowed them with his glare, but the eldest, Ichigo's eyes were glaring at him.
Sanemi ignored him.
"Listen here you stupid fucking brat, if the demon involved is some sort of demented hybrid of a fucking venomous animal or a fucking crawler then, if it fucking gets you, even if it looks like a tiny scratch or even the tiniest fucking needle poke, fucking say something alright? Use the last remaining brain cells you have in there and fucking think! Use some Goddamn common sense! I swear, the new recruits are getting dumber by the year. Now, do. You. Fucking. Understand?"
She nods her little head but Sanemi doesn't pays attention.
(He'd always been driven by his emotions, that's not surprising.)
And on and on, he continued berating her with the ferocity of a devastating hurricane, not giving a fuck that there were children in the room, that the girl was still recovering, his mind just focused on one single mindset to fucking impart that she could've died because of fucking stupidity.
(What is she even doing in the Corps in the first place?! Soft (kind) people like her shouldn't be in this business, people like her should be living peacefully, happily, and away from this fucked up profession. Weak (good) people like her are one of the reasons why Sanemi is fighting, because that's the duty of the strong, it's only right that they fight for those who were weak. And she's still young, around the age of his equally stupid brother, young people like them should be thinking more about their future, finding love and starting a family, not in a work that with the slightest slip could cause them their fucking lives.)
Wide watery frightened amber eyes stared back at him, her mouth running a mile a minute filled with apologies.
"I really, really, r-really, really am sorry for acting like I o-only have one brain cell, b-but with all due respect S-Senpai,"
Despite all the tears, the nervousness and the fear, she still looked him in the eyes, daring to glare at him. The next words that were about to spew in his mouth caught in his throat by the look that she gave him.
Fuck.
"Y-You don't get a say on what I should do with my life. Y-Yeah I might be weak, stupid and cowardly,"
What?! When did I ever call her a fucking coward?!
"B-But I chose this because I want to protect the people that I love, keep them safe, help o-other people to be safe, to not let them experience fear brought by demons, and for me to feel w-wanted and accomplished a-at something. T-That I can d-do better for m-myself and for o-other people."
Sanemi could only blink at the onslaught of words, spilling from her.
"I k-know that it's selfish of me, but a friend once told me that it's okay to be selfish within reason. And I… I don't want to be left behind again." She looks down to the side, and Sanemi withheld the urge to right her head so that she would keep staring at him with those big eyes of hers. His brows furrowed even more when he felt her tears falling on his hands that was currently holding her collar.
Sanemi glared at the tears as if it had personally offended him, making him feel even more frustrated. And then she looked up, her glassy amber eyes glaring at him with heat.
"I'm gonna k-keep being a demon slayer and do w-what I can and t-that's it. You can't change my mind."
Why does she have to be so…
(Then his traitorous eyes decided to focus onto something else.)
Sanemi was reminded once again that she was, in fact, a young woman when the yukata loosened a little, showing her collar bone and her creamy― Oh fuck no! Don't you dare fucking look down Sanemi you―
He willed himself not to blush and quickly (gently) pushed her back down and looked upwards for the sake of not looking at the young woman who he had almost took advantage of with her vulnerable state.
And no, he did not do that gently. He just doesn't want to get yelled at by the hag later.
(Good God, if his mother where to see what he just did, he would have to forfeit hearing for the rest of his life. If he were able to get out alive when she's finished with him. He could already feel the phantom pain of getting both ears pulled. And why is he even acting like a fucking flustered pubescent teenager?! It's not Sanemi's first-time seeing cleavage, he have seen tits all on their own because of a handsy drunk excitable geisha – he had a mission at that district okay, and not doing shitty one night stands, so shut your piehole Uzui – hell he has a fucking colleague who leaves her fucking uniform two buttons open – she should really get refitted, Sanemi had lost count of the people Obanai had left half-dead for staring at her wrong or for staring too long – and so, why the fuck is he acting this way?!)
Huffing, he flicked an irritated hand to his right ear and continued, now looking at her with a glare. He ignored his warm ears.
"Just don't be fucking stupid the next time or else you won't even have a next time."
She nods her head silently, tears still falling from her too wide eyes.
(And no, it doesn't make him feel bad at all, nope, fuck no, na-ah, not at all. She looks like a pathetic small hamster, with her nibbling on her lower lip like that, her glistening eyes staring at him with fear. It doesn't make him feel anything. Not at all. Sanemi is fond of beetles and definitely not fond of rodents who likes to stuff shit on their cheeks and eat said shit later. He was not fucking bothered.)
Sanemi thought of giving the brat more warranted verbal lashing, but she looks like she's about to faint on the spot, paler than she had been earlier. He'd never hear the end of it from the hag of a doctor if he makes the girl faint after waking up in a two-day coma.
Sanemi curses himself inwardly for letting his emotions get the better of him.
"Get the hag."
There was a second before Kaya was sitting up and immediately out the door, tabi padded feet thumping across the floorboards.
"Tch. I'm out of here." Sanemi stood up. "And give this idiot some fucking water, God, her voice is making my brain fucking itch."
And just like what he said, he turned around and set his sight towards the training grounds, leaving Agatsuma, the girl who brought up too many painful reminders. He left while the two little boys fussed over her and her reassuring them with that familiar looking smile that once brought him at ease.
Sanemi didn't look back, ignoring the confused nervous gaze bearing at him from behind.
(Maybe he should have left altogether, that would have been more ideal.)
God-fucking-damnit.
When I woke up, I didn't really open my eyes immediately.
(And wow, would you look at that, I'm not dead. Yet.)
I just kinda laid there, relishing the fact that I could feel again. The soft yukata's feel on my skin, the weight of the blanket on my body and most importantly, the world filled with noise coming back to me.
(By the Music Gods, that was awful. I would take hearing every breath taken, all the leave rustling from every goddamn tree, the ambient sound of the earth underneath, the thumping of heartbeats, flowing of blood, loud thoughts of people, every step and movement of every living critter from a three kilometer radius any day rather than the absolute radio silence from the deep void. It was like suddenly going blind. It was unnerving to the deepest core of my person.)
The moment that I lost it earlier had thrown me into panic and the assumption that I was dying again.
(It felt like I died.)
Because what else could it be?
My world had never been quiet.
Everything is always cacophony of sounds and suddenly not hearing anything was the scariest thing I've experienced other than getting pranked as a teen when some assholes – thought it was funny and called me phone during class, the bitch excused herself to the bathroom and pretended to be a nurse from the hospital telling me that Mama died via getting shot in the forehead.
(I ugly cried at the middle of an interesting discussion about the SOH-CAH-TOA in trigonometry. My teacher actually thought it was because of the subject. But when all things were finally explained, the bitch got dismissed with her accomplices were suspended. Once they have been exposed, the teaching staff – ruled by my lovely music teacher who knew about my situation as the designated half-asian kid to be bullied the most – got on a crusade that ended with more kids suspended and suffering from a lifetime of detentions with about three of them actually getting kicked out. After that whole dumpster fire, the rest of my junior high years were more tolerable and manageable.)
Ever since I came to this brand new universe where man-eating demons roam at night, where a secret organization fight them with special blades and breathing – stop it Sen, stop thinking about JoJos when you just almost died – breathing right gives you unrealistic stat boost, the only thing that had been constant in both lives was my pessimistic outlook about myself, my overbite and my ears. This world is so unrealistic, ridiculous, so animeish and so much like an overly done isekai adventure trope or a light novel.
Or it could also be summarized as a badly written self-insert fanfic for some generic shounen anime by a very self-indulgent fan that hopes to become a writer someday.
Well, going back to the topic at hand – which was me waking up, but not having the balls to actually open my eyes yet because, what the hell? What if I'm already on my third life now since silence had been a thing before the new world weewoed to me – I stretched my senses outwardly, focusing on my ears and letting it be my eyes at the moment.
I recognize the worried fluttering fireflies of the Morie siblings and the veritable howling angry gale that was Shinazugawa-senpai.
"The hag said that she'll probably wake up soon."
I could hear the stretching of well cared muscles rippling underneath the skin, blood rushing through the veins, controlled breaths that was doing what I could guess was total concentration breathing – a true pillar could do that subconsciously and even while asleep. I can do it too, courtesy of Jii-chan, Tengu-jiji, Sachi and the trio of emotionally retarded pillars, but I don't like doing it too much because of the much more heightened hearing range and depth – then the bones bending and bending 'till a pop was heard.
"She's tough as you brats have seen during the fight and even managing to carry your crying asses. So quit worrying your little heads already, it's fucking annoying."
It's clear that the temperamental pillar was not in a good mood, he was angry and irritated – a running theme of his person it would seem – but there was an underlying worry in there, of understanding, sadness, nostalgia and then denial. A whirlwind of emotions, that one.
It was quite a way to wake up.
And he really shouldn't be swearing right in front of impressionable children, then again, I should give him props for trying to be reassuring in his own way.
Shinazugawa-senpai walked towards the open doors where I assume was a garden but before he could take one more step I spoke up.
"L-Language Senpai." Oh God, that hurts.
He abruptly whirled his body and if it were me I would probably be suffering from whiplash, then again, I shouldn't really talk, I'm already suffering as is.
By then, I managed to peel my heavy eyelids open, stunning me for a moment because of the sudden pouring of light to my retinas.
"The fuck?"
Really?! Watch your mouth young man! There are children here! Not even three feet away!
"L-Language." I pointedly looked at him and twitched my head to the three siblings' direction.
O-oh.
I inwardly cringed at the dark look he gave me. Anger rolling off of him in waves.
God, maybe you shouldn't let me wake up at all.
"I can talk however the fuck I want, you stupid brat. But first of all,"
I can't even look away or move my body as he stomped his way towards me and suddenly, our faces were but a few inches apart, with him lifting me by the collar. This close, I can make out his spiky looking lashes and the jagged scar coming from his right cheek running through his nose and then the one crisscrossing above his right eye and another one above it. I've already established it before, when I first saw him, Shinazugawa Sanemi is the type of guy who easily blows up, a person unafraid to show his frustration and wore it like a suit of armor.
Maybe I should've withheld my tongue. But that's too late for me now.
"You should've informed me immediately that you got fucking scratched by the fucking scorpion's butt extension you fucking dumbass! Do you have fuckin' air for a brain or just plain stupid?!"
I can tell that he is oddly concern and guilty towards me by the way that the howling tornado inside him waver with a slight turn to another direction, but at the end of the day, a tornado is still a tornado. That means he's unabashed to show it through yelling at my face and cursing my brain cells to hell and back.
I feel light headed, overwhelmed, so very tiny and very, very weak in the face of his anger. My eyes blurred – damn these genetics – and then my mouth started vomiting apologies after apologies. Because he's probably right.
But not all right.
Yes, it might've been a big mistake for someone like me to pursue this dangerous job, that I don't really have much of the qualifications in continuing to do so, but still, I've already promised to myself that I would protect the people that I love and will come to love in the future. I've set my sight onto this job the moment that Yuu decided to become a demon slayer.
It was a stressful affair on my part at that time because I don't know what I should do, watching Yuu and Sachi train their butts off and almost drowning every other day.
I don't want to lose anyone anymore. I don't want to be the one left behind. I don't want to have someone that I love die before me.
I know that I'm being selfish – and Mui-chan had always reminded me that there's nothing wrong with that – and entirely stupid. But since when was I smart? I'm supposed to be 32, an adult that could make decisions for herself and this is what I chose.
So, I glared at him and told him – damn the stutter – that he wouldn't be able to change my mind. That I can decide for myself of what I want to do, thank you very much.
This is my life and if I die again, I guess, what else can I do about it?
I've already experienced it once; it was peaceful however brief that experience was. I'm not scared of death. I'm just scared at the act of dying itself. The loss of senses, the loss of feeling anything. The last one was extremely painful. Let's just say that I don't want to die by getting shot once again.
After saying my piece, Senpai looked bewildered in every sense of the word. The whites of his eyes widening even further. But before I could ask him if there's anything wrong, his face went red, and I was lying down again.
The sudden jostling despite being gently and carefully done, almost made me vomit even though I haven't eaten anything yet from just being woken up and all.
"Just don't be fucking stupid the next time or else you won't even have a next time."
All I can do is nod with the reminder slash threat, just having realized that my throat feels as dry as a damn desert and just as itchy as if someone shoved a full cup of sand onto my larynx.
The sound of guilt throws me off for a second, followed by heavy duty cursing from Shinazugawa. It took me a minute to realized that he wasn't doing outwardly when I stared wide-eyed at his face.
Whoa… what a vocabulary of vulgar words. Kinda impressive and mortifying at the same time.
"Get the hag."
From the corner of my eye, I saw Kaya get up and was rapidly out of the door in a second, she sounded uncomfortable and worried.
"Tch. I'm out of here." He stood up. I don't know how, but he managed to look aggressive by doing that simple motion. "And give this idiot some fucking water, God, her voice is making my brain fucking itch."
Then he was out. Leaving me a little winded and confused with two little boys fussing over me. I didn't take my eyes off of him until he was but a white speck from the distance, the glass of water being shoved to my lips was a stark reminder that I am, indeed, very thirsty.
Moments later, a stern looking woman came in with Kaya. Her sound was that of a very well-tuned shamisen, very cutting accompanied with a buzzing twang, stern and intense but can be soft and peaceful at times. By the look she's giving me, I can definitely say that she is not amused, not by me at least, but I could already guess who. Her dark eyes glared at the open doorway before softening when she looked at me.
She reminds me dearly of…
"Amai-obaa." Blinking slowly, I realized that I said that out loud when the woman looked at me in surprise. "A-Ah sorry! You just reminded me just a bit of the kind lady from my village, y-your eyes look the same uhh..."
Gah. Good going me, way to go at getting the best first impression to the person handling your health. Really Sen, just amazing.
She gave a small smile, her eyes still soft. "You may call me Rin-sensei, Agatsuma-san." Rin-sensei settled down at the zabuton that Shinazugawa-senpai occupied earlier. "You must be tired," This she narrowed her dark eyes, and I could hear the signature sound of irritation coming from her. Man, Rin-sensei and senpai does not really get along don't they.
"But I'll have to ask you to stay awake for a while longer. I'll ask you a few questions and do a quick checkup to see if there's anything that I've missed, and afterwards, I'll have some porridge be brought here. You don't have to eat all of it, but a few bites wouldn't hurt. You have to have something in your stomach but don't overdo it or you'll end up regurgitating it back up. Now, are you still with me so far, Agatsuma-san?"
I simply nodded. Too tired for anything else.
"Now, let's start with the checkup, shall we?"
Stethoscope in hand, she first started with my heartbeat and then my lungs and the very tiny barely noticeable scratch I got from the scorpion demon. It was followed by questions that asked how I felt at the moment, if I'm feeling dizzy and such.
When the food came the checkup was done, the sound of my grumbling stomach was very expected and embarrassing.
"I'll be taking my leave now, just remember what I've told you Agatsuma-san."
"A-Ah yes! I'll be sure to remember Rin-sensei." I think it's in my best interest to not forget really. Bowing slightly, I gave her a smile. "Thank you for treating me Rin-sensei, truly thankful."
Rin-sensei smiled in return and she sounded amused for some reason. She got up and was about to leave when she turned back, there's a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.
"It was my pleasure treating you. But before I go, I'm going to give you some advice." Her sound got more amused though her face went back to cool indifference.
To that, I just nodded dumbly.
"Send letters to mother once in a while, she might not look it, but she's the type to get upset if you don't check in on her about how you're doing. Seeing your personality, I think she cherishes you quite a lot and it's a testament that you were even able to call her a grandma."
I once again, I blinked dumbly while she just nodded and let herself out.
Too hungry and too tired to care of what was that about, I shrugged it off and reached out with a thank you to Ichigo who was eager to do what I want.
A cute kid. Hope he grows up nicely and not into an asshole.
(Like some people.)
…
What Rin-sensei said to me earlier didn't really register to me until a plate of very familiar tasting dango came for me during snack hours, it was delivered after I've already gone for a nap for four hours straight.
…
"Damn, why didn't I realized that she's related to Amai-obaa? Should've seen that coming."
~I'm sorry that I left you all alone! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!~
"N-No, it's fine really. Besides, you did the right thing, you could've been hurt too."
I smiled at the fluttering sparrow chirping away at my face. Raising my pointer finger invitingly, he landed on it after five seconds of hesitation. Lifting him closer to my face, I planted a soft kiss on his head.
"I'm glad to see you safe Ukogi-kun," The smile I sported turned into a grimace, and I dutifully looked outside the open doorway and stared at the burning orange painting the lightening sky signifying a brand new day. The cool breeze that entered left me shivering, so I snuggled down further at the fluffy warm blankets that the kind Fujisaki couple had given me.
"I'm very sorry for not being able to lift myself back up immediately. Sorry for being such a crappy partner. Sorry for being such a crappy demon slayer. Sorry―"
Ukogi's shrill chirps of disagreement stopped when the door that led to hallway slammed open, almost derailing it from its track. And lo and behold, it was an irritated fresh from the bath Shinazugawa-senpai, who was wearing a lilac and lavender colored yukata. I knew that he's going to pass over my room to get to his, but I didn't realize that he would come for a visit.
Or, he did it because we were too noisy for early morning.
"You!"
Then he stomped towards me aggressively. I wonder if he could actually do things non-aggressively.
Once he's gotten near me, I scooted a little to get away from him and bowed my head lower so that I can be a ball of self-disappointment and fluffy blankets.
His angry sound wavered with a twang of guilt but his forehead remained crumpled, stretching the jagged scar there.
"Didn't I told you to stop apologizing so much!"
"I-I'm s―" I slapped my mouth with the one Ukogi was perching on. The bird dodged in time and situated himself on my hair.
For one intense minute, he just stood there and glared at me. And I stared back at him with wide eyes, waiting.
Waiting…
Waiting…
Waiting…
His eyes did an up-down glare at me, he continued to glare some more before a ring of embarrassment and irritation came from him, he tsked and suddenly turned around.
"You're not a shitty demon slayer as you think you are. But you're a shitty dumbass that's for sure." Then he proceeded to aggressively stomped once again and slammed the door shut behind him.
The whole time his ears were a little pink on the tips.
I was a little confused by it. Shinazugawa-senpai is very much like a tornado like his sound suggest. Very forceful, intense and would leave damage as he sees fit. Coming and going as he pleases.
He was both direct and not at all. Even if you weren't his target, he would still leave you a little winded. He cycles through many emotions and I'm getting tired just hearing it. And that's coming from an overly emotional person like me.
(The part that he was both direct and not at all is kinda like Yuu, though I don't think Shinazugawa-senpai would appreciate it if I compared them to each other. Yuu did say that the wind pillar is one of the four – them being the insect, snake and surprisingly, mist – that he doesn't get along with. They are both so blunt that their words are sharp, but at the same time, they don't exactly say what their thoughts are. It's all so confusing, but I've gotten used to Yuu. If Shinazugawa-senpai left me winded then I guess Yuu made me feel like I was drowning. There's just so much flooding emotions that I just can't even.)
What got him so embarrassed anyway?
Then I looked down at myself where Shinazugawa-senpai had glared at so much that I thought it was gonna burn a hole.
Oh for the love of the Sound God!
("Achoo!" "Ara, ara~ maybe I should check that out before it goes worst." "I'm good Shinobu-chan, this flamboyant God has never gotten sick!" "Well, if you say so, Tengen-san." "It's Tengen-sama!" "Okay, I'll remember that, Tengen-san." "That's not very flamboyant.")
"Ukogi-kun…"
~Yes?~
"Where's my katana?"
~I don't know, but I'm sure that they kept it somewhere safe.~
"Ah. Then can you get me a knife, anything sharp will do."
~…Why?~
"I'm going to commit seppuku."
…
…
…
…
…
~WHAT! NO!~
Not minding the bird flattering at my hair, circling, chirping, and pecking at it, my body felt so warm at the sheer pure embarrassment that I wen red all over. I drew up my knees and buried my face there in shame.
I mean, suffocation is as good as gutting yourself. Keeps you dead and all that.
GaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I JUST FLASHED HIM WITH MY BOOBS – WELL, NOT ALL OF IT, I MEAN, HE DIDN'T SAW MY NIP― AH! OH GOD BUT STILL, I FLASHED IT TO HIM UNKNOWINGLY! OH MY GOD I WANT TO DIE! THIS IS EMBARRASSING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I MIGHT AS WELL DIG A HOLE! DAIKI-OJIICHAN AND KAA-SAN WOULD COME BACK TO HAUNT ME FOR BEING A SHAMELESS GIRL! OHGOD!OHGOD!OHGOD! NONE OF THE BOYS SHOULD KNOW THIS! NONE OF THE BOYS SHOULD KNOW THIS! THEY'LL GO BALLISTIC! OH SPECIALLY NOT OYAKATA-SAMA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'LL DO BUT I KNOW THAT IT WOULDN'T BE GREAT! CURSE YOU SLEEP MUSTED YUKATA THAT WON'T STAY CLOSED! I-I-I―
I passed out afterwards, thankfully.
I was never able to look at Shinazugawa-senpai again without blushing so hard and diverting my watery eyes. Thankfully, he didn't mention it at all.
Maybe that's why he was so apologetic and ashamed as he left. But the whole point is, I should've righted my yukata as soon as waking up, what if I've accidentally flashed on one of the kids, hell I even opened the door outside first!
What's wrong with me?! I'm not a flat-chested little girl anymore! I should really watch out for my appearance these days; my body type isn't the same as I've had before. As Hibiki, I was slender, tall with just the right amounts of curves to tell that I was in fact a girl. The current me though is a bit shorter than the first, but more filled out with lean muscles. And I got… Kaa-san's curves that's for sure. Maybe I should stop binding my chest too much, Rin-sensei did say it wasn't good for someone who practices breath styles.
But after this incident…
Maybe I should still bandage it but not as tightly, my cover's been blasted to smithereens so why should I continue with this farce. A pillar – outside of the three that I am closely bonded too – had found about my true self. Besides, I mean, I carry a sword – even though the sword ban is very much a thing here right now – and I can protect myself. I also have unlocked the god-tier level for the skill of running away so, if worse comes to worse, I could haul major ass when I need it.
Curse Japan for not having bras available yet!
Wait…
I can sew…
My face met my palms in a timely manner.
Why the hell did I ever think of making one! God! I really am a dumbass! I'm making one as soon as I can!
Alright! After I've done my routines, I'm gonna go and get some materials. Hopefully, I'm not being a bother to Mr. and Mrs. Fujisaki for requesting this, but I'm sure they have some old yukatas that I can work on. I only need a few slips of cloth and garters – that I sure hope that they have, but if they don't, I think I could work it out still – then I'll be able to breathe easy and be secure that I won't be flashing anyone any time soon.
Done introspecting, I breathed deeply, closed my eyes and moved through the five forms that I currently have on my arsenal. The sixth one is still on the works, I can't seem to figure out how to do it still, I had a visual on what I would be doing but I just can't do it.
So, repeating the five forms is what I'll have to do for now.
First form: Thunderstruck
Second form: Storm Surge
Third form: Rainstorm and Flash Flood
Fourth form: Thunderstorm
Fifth form: Splitting Thunder Cross
"Oi Agatsuma!"
I stopped as soon as I heard his call. My back instantly going ram rod straight as a blush spread throughout my face.
"S-S-S-S-S-SenPAI! A-A-Ah! W-What i-is it?" Even though I was facing him, my eyes carefully stayed on his left shoulder.
He tsked, clearly already irritated. And I wasn't even doing anything wrong this time!
"Did the hag allowed you out already?"
I let my gaze wondered to look at his eyes but swiftly averted it when it turned out that he was staring right back at me with his large dark gray eyes.
"U-Um…" I gulped down when I found my throat suddenly going dry, the warmth on my face going down to my neck. "Y-Yes. Rin-sensei allowed me to, s-she said that it'll be g-g-good if I moved a l-l-l-little w-w-while also doing full c-concentration b-breaths to f-f-fully swe-sweat out the ve-venom in my body a-and to he-help exercise my lungs and such so that I don't have more trouble b-breathing." I winced everytime I stutter a word out, hopefully he wouldn't cuss me out for it.
"You had trouble breathing?"
Oh thank the Gods he didn't mind the stutter. But why is he still angry and is that… c-concern in his sound? Nahnah. I must be mishearing things again. My ears aren't up to snuff just yet after all.
"U-Um yeah? I m-m-mean, when I t-took a nap yesterday a-after eating, I was w-woken up suddenly because I wasn't b-b-breathing." God, that was scary as hell. "A-And it was a g-g-g-good thing Ichigo-kun was t-there o-o-or else…" I didn't manage to finish my sentence, and I think Shinazugawa-senpai already gets what I'm saying.
"What."
I gulped at the sudden jump of aggression in his voice.
"I mean, I w-was, I-m-mean I c-can't, I w-wasn― SORRY!" I fumbled with my words as he had then decided that coming closer towards me is much more ideal distance.
The world was starting to spin around me as my face got hotter and hotter, my breath coming in difficult. My ears are ringing in a way silence can make it. Sweat was dripping over my face as I desperately tried to breathe.
ohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGOD!
The slap that I got from my back had me gasping for air and I was again, thankfully, breathing.
OhLordohLordohLordI'mbreathingagainI'mbreathingagain―
"―UCK WAS THAT?! YOU WEREN'T BREATHING YOU ASSHOLE!"
Then I straight up wailed on crying, like the first time when I was woken and I found out that my limbs where numbing again. But of course, crying is counterproductive to my situation and I ended up shorter in breath.
I heard another 'tsk' from Shinazugawa-senpai before he was suddenly kneeling on the dirt with me – since when did I fell down? – one of his hands on my shoulders while the other went to tilt my chin upwards so I was looking face to face with him.
"Look at me." I met his eyes hesitantly, but the gentle squeeze on my chin had my eyes wandering up to meet his dark gray eyes. "Stop crying and start breathing with me."
Without much thought I followed his orders and started breathing alongside with him. It took me a while, but when I managed to regain my breath, I realized that while I was focused on breathing, he cleaned up my face. Wiping down my tears, sweat, snot and saliva with a refreshingly wet towel that he pulled out of nowhere. But by the three minute mark, I realized that we weren't alone anymore on the training ground, that Rin-sensei and the children were standing just a few meters away from us. Rin-sensei was worried and irritated beyond belief while the Morie siblings were all worried.
Actually, Shinazugawa-senpai sounded concerned and guilty and angry with himself.
After a few more minutes of continued controlled breathing, I wasn't liable to a panic attack, Shinazugawa-senpai stood up with a, "I'm outta here." And marched off to direction of the forest without looking back. He was filled with turmoil and he was―
'―cker! Well done you asshat, you almost killed somebody by giving them a panic attack! That's gotta be a new record for you! That shit-faced violent fucker's blood does runs within you, great just fucking gre―'
"Wait Senp―"
Like the wind, he vanished before I could call out to him.
Dear Gods…
"I think that's enough activity for the day Agatsuma-chan. A bath and a meal are in order."
I stared at the three line a bit longer before trying to pick myself up. Trying, being the keyword here because my legs till feel like it's made of cotton, unable to support me at all. Rin-sensei immediately helped me up while the three children trailed behind us as we entered the house.
―why do I have to be so much of a coward?
The jar full of formaldehyde and five lifeless eyeballs stared back at me. My already sunken mood plummeting even downwards after feeling a few seconds of relief that I didn't loss the eyes that I've carefully picked up after burying the others swiftly. My eyes were still rimmed red from crying over the earlier predicament and from the thought of losing this thing that I'm currently cradling close to me. Rin-sensei had been very understanding and immediately fetched it from where she had stashed it from, after confirming that I won't have anymore panic attacks, she sent me to the bath and delivered me some food afterwards.
I'm now coming to terms that I finally did it.
That I've actually managed to kill the demon from my nightmares, that I finally got back the pieces of the people that I held close to me.
A proof that I'm not so weak after all, that I can actually do this, that I could actually save lives, that I am capable of being strong.
I should visit Kaa-san and Daiki-ojiichan's grave again and then make one for Tsutako-nee, back then Yuu didn't really have it in him to go back and see Tsutako-nee's body. We didn't really know where the villagers buried her and we didn't really want to come back to the village and ask.
Now I'm just here, staring at the jar, feeling heavier than ever but…
"You guys can come in if you want."
I could hear the collective jolt of the three children standing behind the door, before the door slid open to show the Morie kids already on their sleeping yukata like I was.
"Come on," I smiled encouragingly at them as I placed the jar on the nearby cabinet. "There's a lot of room for you three in this huge futon."
And there was, as if the fluffy and comfortable blankets wasn't enough, the kind Fujisaki couple had provided me with what could be a king sized bed but in the form of a futon. Yeah, there's a lot of space, but I've been used to sleeping in a smaller one or even sharing a bed or just having another futon beside mine. Being sandwich between Yuu and Sachi when they're both over or even sleeping with Kai or Mui-chan or whoever gets to get in earlier I suppose when Mui-chan was over. They did this all with the excuse of having only three rooms at Jii-chan's house.
Having this much space is a little jarring I suppose; besides, I favor enclosed spaces than open ones. I feel safer when there were walls surrounding me, reassuring in a way that I know that I'm the only one occupying the space, that it was just me.
That I don't have anything to be afraid of.
The first to move was Jirou, immediately trying to crawl onto my lap before being followed by Kaya who situated herself to my left and then Ichigo to my right.
"What's inside the jar Nee-san?"
Oh wow… how should I even tell them without being so abrupt? I can't exactly tell them, 'oh hey, that one is my dead mom's eyes, the blue ones is from my friend's dead sister and that… yeah… it's your mom's'. I'll sound like a deranged asshole if I do that.
"A-Ah that?" I pointed at it, just to make sure,
Jirou from my lap nodded, his dark brown hair bouncing with the action, his huge pair of silver eyes looking at me with curiosity. I could only sigh at it really.
Not really knowing what to do, I grabbed the jar again, taking care not to jostle the kid that was now perched on me. Once I brought it to a clearer lighting, I heard their collective gasps and then the sound of grief, mourning and sadness rebounded at the room, their light moods immediately going down.
Much to my alarm, Kaya and Jirou started to sniffle, Ichigo wasn't immune to it either.
I held onto the jar a little tighter before putting it back.
"We'll bury your Kaa-san tomorrow and hold a prayer for them, okay?"
They all nodded.
"Agatsuma-san," Ichigo started, his brown eyes looking glassy from unshed tears. "Thank you for everything."
My eyes watered at the heartfelt simple words. Simple words that filled me with both happiness and sadness.
The world is a cruel place, and children really shouldn't be suffering from that cruelty. At this moment, it greatly reminded me why I was doing this, why I started demon slaying as a damn career.
I smiled tenderly at them, ruffling their heads, and bringing them closer towards me.
"Y-Your welcome, but really, it's my job to do what I did."
I swiveled my head when I heard the sound of rushing wind around the corner, it was still annoyed but thankfully, he seemed to be in a much better mood.
Thank God he's okay, I hope I can talk to him tomorrow and apologize. Stupid me for being so sensitive.
"What is it Nee-san?"
Kaya's soft voice brought me back to the room and out of further negative thoughts, bringing back my smile and squeezing them closer.
"How about you guys sleep here?" I suggested. "I mean, if you guys want to, I w-won't mind. The futon is too b-big, and I'm used to having little space or h-having someone beside me. So, if you guys want to, you c-can."
"Really?" Jirou yawned and rubbed at his eyes. Gosh, what a cute kid.
"Yes really."
The younger two stared imploringly with impressive puppy eyes at their older brother.
"Can we Nii-san?"
"Yeah, Nee-san says she doesn't mind."
The boy just smiled at them exasperatedly and fondly, ruffling Jirou's head with his newly healed hand.
"Since Agatsuma-san says it fine then yeah, we will stay."
The quiet celebratory 'yes!' that the two shared melted my heart. Did they really want to sleep with me that much?
I can already tell that they do by the content coming from them in waves, it's honestly relieving that these three are taking things so well knowing what just happened.
Swiftly, I made quick work of tucking us all in, making sure that everyone was covered because it can get really chilly sometime at the early mornings.
At the low lamplight glowing softly around the room, the quiet peacefulness of nature outside make it seem that everything is alright. That the world isn't harboring any evil incarnates that walk around giving his blood to just create chaos. That everything is fine and dandy over grassy meadows and little villages.
But really, it isn't.
Everything's not alright.
But these quiet peaceful moments nonetheless are something to be cherished for what it is.
You never know when it would be the last piece of serenity you're going to experience.
I started to hum a familiar tune just as Shinazugawa-senpai stopped outside the room, just there, a hurricane of clashing emotions clumped together. But the reoccurring one is his deep hatred for himself.
"Let me sing a lullaby
As you close your eyes~
And as you're drifting off to sleep
How I hope that the dreams that you find
Are bright!
Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies?
Where a tomorrow waits for you and I
So hold me tight one more time, but don't kiss me goodbye
'Cause I know that I'll see you on the other side~
I will think of our song when the nights are too long
I'll dream of you for that's where I belong
Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies!
Only, in my dreams, do we meet again~"
Omake: Bird's Eye View (Part I)
Kurotsuchi is in a predicament.
It wasn't really a written law but, Kurotsuchi's kind were not supposed to interact with humans that were not a part of the organization. It was an unspoken law among the kasugaigarasu because who knows if the human they're interacting with could get killed by a demon because those vicious beasts recognized them.
It had happened before. There was once a member of their clan who became friends with a human child and to make the story short, the child was eaten by a demon right in front of the crow and the crow was never the same again. That crow was unable to do their job anymore and, in their clan, it was the greatest dishonor to not serve their purpose.
It was foolish.
This is foolish.
Kurotsuchi continued to visit the loud human child who had eyes like gold.
She was so tiny and always so loud with her feelings. Always so animated and alive. Always afraid of anything.
(It was curious really, when they first interacted, her first thought was that he was Death and has come to take her soul to the Beyond. It was amusing how she came up with that conclusion when he had simply nodded at her in acknowledgement. Simply curious, that a year old child, a hatchling, already knows the concept of death and tales about Shinigamis.)
"S-So, what do you think? I made it so you won't feel too cold while f-flying since it's winter." The tiny clumsy hands had finished its work on wrapping a purple scarf on his neck.
It was winter, and the whiteness of everything made the whole scenery muted, very monochrome. A complete difference when it was spring where everything looked so alive and in fall where everything was vibrant despite it being the dying months of the local flora.
With the muted background, the warm honey that were the child's eyes made it seem that she's the only creature alive in the vicinity.
Kurotsuchi inspects the scarf now wrapped around his neck. It was a deep shade of purple, the main color of the Ubuyashiki family. From the loose pieces of yarn and the haphazard style of knitting, Kurotsuchi could already tell that the human child was the one who made it and not her mother.
Kurotsuchi also noted that the child's tiny hands held small needle wounds.
Inclining his head, he stared at the child's now teary eyes. Oh dear, maybe he had delayed his answer longer than he thought.
Then again, why should he care in the first place if the human hatchling were to cry?
"It's acceptable."
Kurotsuchi watched her expression morph to something else. The clear sadness and disappointment vanished in her bright eyes, turning into pure delight, her wobbling pink lips stretching thin as the redness and roundness of her cheeks became more pronounced with the sheer size of her smile.
It was fascinating to say the least.
Kurotsuchi's kind were not capable of facial expressions seeing that they don't have enough facial muscles to do so. But that said, all humans can do the expressions this human hatchling can do, so why is he so fascinated with her?
(This is foolish. Kurotsuchi knows it's foolish. Getting attached to a human hatchling like this.)
"R-Really?"
What's with her and her non-acceptance to compliments?
It's like she had lived her life always being put down by a lot of people.
And it's strange, because she is just a hatchling, just a scant three years – very young by human standards – of being alive, and from what he had observed from her home life, she is very well-loved and well-cared for. Though the other human hatchlings were always so aggressive towards her, they must've recognized that she's far smarter than them, and they feel threatened by it.
Really, humans and animals aren't that dissimilar in that respect. Even Kurotsuchi can sympathize with her for it. After all, when Kurotsuchi himself was a hatchling the older ones are threatened by him for his intelligence and was the youngest one to ever take flight from his nestmates and was the first to master flight among them.
It is the main reason why he is the youngest to be appointed as the personal messenger of the new Ubuyashiki head.
"Yes really. The design," He pecked at a thread that was settling at his feathers. "could use some work."
Her wide amber eyes crinkled as she giggled at him ruffling his feathers to get the snowflakes away from his self.
"Yeah, I thought the same too. I p-promise to make you a new one that is better, I'm gonna make sure I learn lots from Kaa-san!"
He scoffs. This is truly foolish. Foolish of him to get attached.
"Make sure that you do, it would be embarrassing to explain why I have a subpar article of clothing wrapped around my neck."
But even if it's foolish, Kurotsuchi cannot find in himself to care.
"I hope that it's enough to keep you warm though."
Her tiny fingers glides through his feathers with the slightest of pressure, but even so it was warm. Kurotsuchi leans into the touch.
"I think this is sufficiently warm enough."
She laughs at this like she understood what 'sufficiently' is – which is very likely since this particular hatchling is smart – the warmth of her breath creating a small fog.
"If you say so Karasu-san."
~Taisho Secret~
Senritsu's personality derives from mine. She is me if my anxiety levels are through the roof. We're both pessimistic and have low self-esteem, and I tell you it's hard. Her fear of mostly everything is very unlike me, I am not afraid to touch shit like cockroaches, huntsman spiders or centipedes and other gross stuff that wriggles and squirms. I'm that one girl in the class who finds them cool and when the boys throw shit like that to the other girls to try and scare them, I make sure to catch it and place it under their shirt or throw it back to their face. I'm a little afraid of heights (but I can stomach it) which is funny because that's the one thing that Sen doesn't fear.
A/N: Yo! I ain't dead and I'm sorry if it's been a while since I've updated. I'm still reeling from the amounts of requirements needed to be finished. To whomever had told me that IT was easy, I wish that you stub your toe to corners.
I hope you guys enjoyed Sanemi's POV that took up most of this chapter and I'm telling you that I wrote most of it when I was pissed and frustrated at life in general since I have a lot of pent up stress from college. I hope it helped a lot, I found it easier to do that.
Remember to stay safe, stay healthy and always hydrate yourselves! Love ya and see ya next time, let me know what you think of this chapter and maybe what omake would you love to see.