AN: YAY! School is over, my on line course ened two days ago, I finished baby-sittingmy little cousin, and I finally have free time to wirte and update! Sorry to keep you all waiting so long. Originally I had more to write, but it would have taken at least a couple of more days until I updated.Oh and,for now, I will stop writing comments to every single reviewer because there isjust too much of all of you.It doesn't mean that Iam notthankful for all of you, it's just that it puts a lot of workon me.

Explanations will be more in depth in the next chapter. Thank you and enjoy!

Botan

'What happened? Where am I?' Botan thought to herself.

She uncurled herself from a ball that she had formed herself into. It was strange that she didn't feel the need to stretch herself after being in such a tight position for who knows how long. But she felt relaxed, as if all her troubles were gone, slipped out of her hands like water. She felt refreshed, content, warm, and something else. Never before had she felt so… well to put it simply, free.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. She had felt this kind of freedom before. It was laced in her very soul. She just couldn't seem to remember when. In fact, now that she thought about it, she didn't remember anything at all. This too was strange. But Botan didn't think much about it. Maybe her memories will return over time. Or maybe they won't. She didn't want to think about it because then it would spoil this wonderful feeling of freedom that she was trying to enjoying.

The familiarity of this feeling didn't bother her either. Nor did the fact that the only thing she remembered was her name, Botan. Maybe that wasn't her real name. Who knows? Who cares? For now, not Botan. If that even was her real name.

Botan took a good look at the room that she was currently in. Sliding doors located in the very front, a box that looked like a panel a few feet away from her, and some white light bathing her form. This room didn't look familiar. She looked down at herself to see what she was wearing. She saw her birthday suit.

Oddly enough, this didn't upset her. The thought that another person, mainly a male, could walk into the room and see her without any clothes on didn't upset her. She found it really strange that she didn't feel embarrassed, distress, or nervous. Again, who cares? This sense of freedom might never come again. The feeling of her burdens being lifted, of no worries, cares, or anything replaced everything that was once there and left her with contentment. It wasn't perfect happiness, but it was the next best thing.

The next thing Botan noticed was that she was floating in the light. She looked down, trying to see the ground, but couldn't find it. The light was in the way. It could be an inch away or a few feet down. She couldn't tell. Then she looked at the door again and saw that the top was about even level with her eyes. Though she didn't really trust her eyes because the whole room was white clean, as well as the light, so there was chance that there was no floor.

Then how could you explain the floating, light, lost of memories, and the nakedness?

Maybe she was dead.

Botan thought hard about this new possibility. "It could be true," she said to herself. After all, there were many, many stories of what happens when a person dies. Like a person losing all of their memories (check), having the ability to float in the air (well, she was floating, but it could be the light playing tricks on her), becoming transparent (missing that), gaining ghostly powers (so far nothing), and the list goes on. Anything was possible.

"I think that I'm dead," Botan said out loud. Again, the thought didn't faze her. It amazed Botan that something as big as being dead didn't bother her. Maybe she was a strong person, the kind of person that everyone looked to for emotional support. Pride welled up inside her. She liked that, a strong person.

She could imagine it. All of her friends coming to her for advice or to just talk to her to get a load off their shoulders. Blank, faceless people gather in a crowd just to talk to her. And for some reason, she saw herself doing most of the talking instead of the other way around. Now that was really odd.

"Maybe I give a little too much advice?" Botan mused to herself. "Or maybe people just like to listen to me talk. I must be popular!" she giggled to herself.

She closed her eyes with even more content. Things were looking good. Then her face scrunched up, as if she was in a bad dream.

Are you sure Botan?

Who was that? It sounds….. Familiar.

Yes. Don't trouble yourself over me.

That was me! That second person was me! I know it was! It sounded like me!

It looks like Botan here has a lot more of a love life in the past two weeks than you ever did in your whole life!

Hey! I do too have a love life!

Riiight.

So familiar.

Would you stop picking on him! I swear that I'll–

I bet you that you won't even lose your virginity by the time you're 25.

You're on!

Yusuke! You are such a jerk!

Yusuke. I know him! And the others…

Ow! Keiko! That hurts!

Keiko. And that means that the others must be Kuwabara and Yukina.

Botan, your usual visitor is here.

Genkai. I remember. I turned around. I wanted to see him. I wanted to thank him. I wanted to smile at him. But mostly, I just wanted to see him. But I didn't see his blood red eyes. I didn't see him at all. Why didn't I see him? Why?

I wanted to so much.

Botan!

That was everyone. I didn't see him. But I felt him. He was near. I remember holding on to him. I didn't want to let go. Never wanted to let go. If I did…

Then pain. A lot of pain. I can't move. Everything is on me. It's too heavy. I remember, I can't move. Couldn't move. I don't want to do this any more. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to rest. I wanted this weight off of me. But I wanted to stay even more.

To be with him and finish what we started.

No!

Koenma.

Hiei! Hiei! Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei!

It was like a mantra. Over and over I called out to him. I felt him enter my mind. I wanted him to help me. It was getting worst.

Help me! Hiei!

Why wasn't he helping me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Like a mantra. Everything was turning out like mantra going over and over and over again. I just wanted it to stop.

Hiei, help me! Don't leave me!

Botan.

There's golden light. This presence. I know it. It feels….

Botan, do you hear me?

…not like Hiei. I wanted Hiei! Not Koenma! Hiei!

Hiei! Hiei! Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei Hiei! Hiei! Hiei! Hiei! Hiei! Hiei!

The mantra continues.

He's still here! Hiei is still here! I can barely feel him but he's still here!

Let go.

No! I won't let go! If I do, he'll go away. I'll go away. I don't want to leave him! I don't want to leave him alone! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

Let go.

No!

Kami, it hurts. Why can't he just leave me alone? Why can't it all just leave me alone! Why can't he see what I want? I just want to be with Hiei!

Botan, you have to let go.

The light got stronger. Brighter. I couldn't struggle anymore. I didn't want to either. It was getting harder. So much harder. The need for rest and sleep that I've been avoiding so much has finally caught up with me.

Maybe I wasn't such a strong person after all. I never was. I wasn't even a good fighter. I tired. So very tired. Rest. That's what I needed.

So I let go. I let go of Hiei.

Something fell down my eye. It slowly traveled down my cheek and to the corner of my mouth. It was a tear.

"Hiei."

Her head was buried. Somehow, the room's whiteness had ceased and the light was no longer there. The once floorless room gained a floor and Botan was sitting in the middle of it, somehow wearing a pink kimono. The same one that she usually wore when ferrying spirits. A trace of one lone tear that fell was visible on her cheek. She was curled into a ball and didn't know how long she stayed there.

Time knew no meaning in Reikai. She knew for certain that she was in Reikai. The feel of it screamed out to the very core of her soul that she was back. That she may be back for good. But she refused to believe that it was so. She stilled had her courtship with Hiei going on. She could ask Koenma for a new body since her old one was no longer suitable or capable or use. It probably burned off or turned to dust. If it wasn't any these, Koenma would have done it himself.

If any evil spirit or demon got a hold of a body that was once used as a vessel for a holy being such as a ferry girl, than Reikai could be in trouble. There was enough power in there for a demon to cause Reikai chaos for a month in Ningenkai time. Though the demon had to know about that little fact first and then know how to tap into the power. Chances of that were slim to none, but Reikai took no chances. A month of disorder was enough to throw half of the dead ningen spirits that ferry girls collected into oblivion.

But Botan worried not of these things because the door of the room slid open. Botan quickly stood up, wiped away the trail of the tear, and plastered on a smile. Her fake smile immediately turned real when she saw who it was.

"Hiei!" It was like waking up from a dream for Botan. Hiei was there. Alive and breathing. She didn't notice the emotionless face that he had on or the cold air that surrounded him. If she did, she didn't care. So she ran to him and prepared to hug him with all that she was worth.

If she had been paying attention to the way Hiei looked, she would have seen that her hug would not have been welcomed. Hiei held out his arms and stopped the overjoyed ferry girl from hugging him. But he didn't have to because she was currently a spirit and had no body to hug him with. So she went through him. Botan blinked and turned around to face him.

He looked blankly into her eyes. It gave her a shiver, and not in a good way.

"What's wrong Hiei?"

"You didn't tell me."

Botan looked away from him and laughed nervously. "Did Koenma tell you?"

"You should have told me. You knew what you should have done and yet you did not do it. Why?"

Hiei narrowed his eyes at her. Botan looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that it would have this kind of effect." So soon.

"That's right. You didn't think," he sneered at her. "This is why you are the baka onna. You don't think at all."

"But Hiei," her voice came out teary, just like her eyes.

"But what?" he snapped.

"I just wanted to be with you!" Why couldn't he see that?

"But you can't. Because he told me what would happen."

Everything stilled for her. Her thoughts, her non-existing breathing, this moment.

"W-What? What do you mean I can't?" Her eyes were wide with disbelief and denial. Somewhere in the back of her mind, a small voice was asking, what would happen? But it was so very small, and so very faint. The only thing that processed into her mind was the first sentence that Hiei said.

No! No! No! No! No!

The mantra played in her head.

"Our courtship is over."

Then he walked past her. She couldn't move. Couldn't speak or to call out to him. To ask why. He didn't stop. He walked out the door. And then tears started rolling down her eyes, because spirits too can cry.