All right, this is a shorter than average update but its 3am. Also, i know its been waaaay longer than normal with my updates, but people, i was on vacation!And it wasnt a totally great holiday either, it was almost but not quite as depressing as my christmas holiday which was the worst christmas of my life but lets not go into that now. Same disclaimers, i dont own blah language and content blah be warned blah dee bleh.

Erm, forgot what i was gonna say...erm...thanks as always for the fantastic reviews, seriously, if you knew how much it means to me to see the 'email from botfanfiction..etc' in my inbox, you would probably review me just out of pity! But yeah, i love all you peepsl sepecially my peep peeps, you know who ya are ya crazy bunch, Addle Eddle, seriously, with the rockin, keep it up darlin for serious!

But yep, thats that. Enjoy it folks!xx

Bergen was sitting in her usual seat, her face pale and drawn, her hair pulled back into a simple ponytail. She had a note pad on her lip and her face had that flushed, scrubbed look you get from washing your face after crying too much.

The group sat around her, silent, shocked. Amanda had been quietly weeping for a while and Bebe and Drew sat on either side of her, trying to comfort her.

Poe, it had been discovered had escaped from her room by picking the lock on her window and using braided sheets to climb down. She had used more braided sheets to hang herself from the tree and it had been remarked that given how tightly the sheets had been braided together, she must have been working on them for some time. She had never expected, or planned, to leave St Patrick's alive.

It was the day after she had killed herself and the staff at the institute where trying to get things back to normal, resuming therapy sessions. Jack, after calling his mother, had been discovered by Dr Bergen, pleading with his mother to come and get him while he huddled under a desk, his eyes fixed on the tree where Poe had died, even though she had long since been cut down.

Evelyn however had been briefed and on what to do if Jack acted in such a way, and could do nothing more than tell him it was for his own good being in St. Patricks.

When Bergen had given Jack a sedative and led him back to his room to sleep away the day, she had seen something unnerving in his eyes, almost like some last dim light that had been there had gone out, and she was concerned about his reaction to his mothers actions.

He sat now at the same window Poe had sat at every day and he realised it actually smelled like her, a sweet, clean smell, like scented soap.

Bergen took a deep breath "If anyone has anything they would like to say, feel free" she said, her voice hollow.

"Like what?" Drew asked softly "What could anyone possibly have to say?"

"I know you're all feeling…a lot of shock, a lot of sadness…Poe was one of our little family here and she had her problems but she was some one we all loved…you must have some feelings about what happened?" Bergen sounded exhausted.

"It's fucked up" Bear snapped.

He had been close to Poe, viewing her as probably his only friend.

Jack had seen them together outside of group and it was obvious Bear had been nuts about the girl, and the tiny girl had adored the hulking teen.

"She was…I…It shouldn't have happened, it shouldn't have been allowed to happen, you all fucked up, you knew she had tried to kill herself before, you knew she wouldn't talk about it…you fucking knew she still had all those problems in her head and you didn't watch her close enough" his voice was almost incoherently thick with emotion.

"Bear. This was no bodies fault, Poe-" Bergen started.

"Fuck you 'it was nobodies fault' It was your fault! You ass holes" Bear spat and something in the way he said it signalled the end of his participation in the session.

Bergen sighed "Any one else?" she looked around "Jack…you where outside Jack…you saw her more closely than any one here…what are your feelings?"

Jack gave her that blank eyed look and she shuddered. She had seen his distant 'thousand yard stare' as his mother described it, that studied, blank look he hid behind when he felt endangered. But this was different. There was nothing in Jack's eyes. She couldn't have described it to some one who hadn't seen it but she felt a knawing fear in her stomach a word rose in her mind 'dead'. Jack's eyes where dead. He had given up completely to what ever deep rooted despair lived within him. "Jack?" she said concernedly, "Sweetie, talk to me?" She rose from her seat and stepped closer to him.

"She was fourteen" Jack said dully "She was a little tiny kid and she killed her self. But hey, it wasn't the first time she had tried it right? I mean she cut her wrists and they saved her that time right? Interrupted her…but she wasn't one of those people who would be deterred, she had a mission in mind, a goal, and she achieved it. I say good for her, I respect anyone who sets out to achieve their goals and does it, we should all follow her example" Jack's usually deep voice was high and a little breathy, and Bergen could see the deadness in his eyes giving way to a manic wildness.

"Jack" she said, keeping her voice low.

"No I mean it, well done to her! I'd applaud but every one seems a little on edge so I wouldn't want to startle them, but hey, didn't she look peaceful swinging in the wind like that, it's a shame she didn't have like, a ball gown or something to wear, that would have made for a much more striking visual effect, although it might have been a little clichéd, and I kind of think Poe wouldn't like to seem clichéd, so maybe dying in her pyjamas was okay with her" Jack couldn't stop the words that bubbled up and out of his mouth "But I don't know, I didn't know her that well, I do know she was bat shit crazy but she was just about the only person in here who seemed to be having fun with her life such as it was, and I envy that but I guess its all irrelevant now, because she died, it doesn't matter who was or wasn't watching her closely enough, she probably would have found away even if she'd been tied down to her bed, you all said it yourself, she had no where to go, she had no one to go home to, she didn't want to be here, but she made what she could of it while she was" he blinked and stared at his hands as if he'd never seen them before, then looked up at Bergen with wide, terrified eyes.

As she looked at him, he lost what ever tenuous grip on reality he had had, physically reeling back away from her, his eyes questioning "Jack, please, no, Jack don't do this!" Bergen snapped at him but he was backing away from her, fear in his eyes.

He was losing his mind, and he knew it. His face crumpled and tears began to flow from his eyes, as his mind, desperate to protect him from any more trauma, began cutting off any ties to the outside world, trapping him in a bubble of his own fractured psyche. He was watching her with desperate eyes, pleading with her to save him, but even as she stepped toward him, something in side of him broke and he tipped his head to one side, his blue eyes rimmed with red, surrounded by tired circles and shadows. Bergen grabbed his hands "Jack, this is real" she squeezed his hands "Focus on this, please Jack, focus on my hands on yours, stay with me!" she almost begged.

Jack shook his head silently as the rest of the group watched and pulled his hands out of hers, almost as if he was consciously letting himself slip away.

"Jack…please!" Bergen said feebly, but he had gone.

Evelyn Mercer had her sons at her back and a look of anger and determination on her face. Dr Bergen looked at the three boys as Evelyn, her eyes like steel marched into the hospital and glared around at the gathered doctors and nurses.

Bobby Mercer was rage distilled; it hovered around him, a cloud of potential violence and danger. Beside him, Jerry Mercer seemed like a sliver of ice beside the raging fire that was Bobby, but his sharp, intelligent eyes, held a glint that said he was not to be misjudged; he was just as scary as Bobby. On Jerry's left, Angel Mercer was a tall dark shadow who moved with the fluid grace of a military trained killer. His eyes where as cold as Jerry's and the boys flanked their mother like avenging angels.

"What exactly is it you think you're doing here?" Evelyn Mercer snapped, her voice so angry that Bergen actually flinched "You tell me to ignore my son when he calls me, begging me to let him come home. You make me tell him no, it isn't right for him to leave this hospital because he will get better by being here…he didn't tell me that a girl had killed herself so while I hated telling him no, I couldn't deny that it seemed to make some sense as a treatment method. But now…now you're telling me that because I told him no…because I denied my son, he is in fact, even worse off than he was before?"

Bergen opened her mouth to speak but Evelyn started up again "Don't" she snapped, one harsh sound "Is he detoxed from the drugs? Nod yes or no"

Bergen actually gulped and forced herself to nod, feeling like a ten year old who had been caught by her grandmother committing some insufferable grandmother sin.

"Well in that case, have some one pack his things, he's coming home with me" Evelyn stated simply.

"No! Miss Mercer, I don't think he's ready to leave" Bergen started to protest but Evelyn's eyes, if possible, grew colder than before until Bergen felt as if she was staring at two tiny pools of ice.

"Tell me no again" Evelyn said quietly, her voice daring Bergen to do it.

Bergen gaped at her.

"Now, show me what I need to sign to take him home and don't you dare try to get in my way or I will have my sons retrieve my boy from what ever room he is in and I can assure you, they will not be neat about it" Evelyn told Bergen.

"There's no need for you to make threats" Bergen felt her temper come back from where ever it had been hiding.

Evelyn fixed her with a look that all but nailed her to the wall "I haven't made any threats. I've only made promises. When I make threats, you'll know"

Bergen took a breath "Miss Mercer, Jack is not well enough to be moved anywhere, a sudden upheaval like this could make him worse"

"Worse?" Evelyn suddenly shouted. She had been speaking in low, clipped tones up until now, which had some how been scarier than if she had come in yelling, but the sudden burst of emotion made Bergen step back as the boys flanking Evelyn reacted to her outburst as if the four of them where tuned together like some fine instrument.

The boys as one, tensed like cats waiting to pounce. The almost imperceptible movement changed everything about them Bergen suddenly realised what Evelyn had meant about threats and promises. Before the three boys had been a threat of violence. Now they where a promise, and Bergen found herself wondering if she could get the whole damned family to leave without anything being broken.

"You should at least see him first, tell me if you think he should leave" Bergen suggested, her voice high and a little breathless.

"GET ME MY SON" Evelyn actually shrieked, taking a step toward Bergen as she did.

Bergen actually turned on her heel and all but ran away from the family. Within forty minutes all the relevant paper work had been signed and Jack was sitting in the Mercer family car, sedated for his own sake, almost totally unconscious. His brothers where sitting in the car with him, Bobby in the front passenger seat, Angel and Jeremiah sitting either side of Jack. All three where glaring at Bergen as she handed Evelyn a folder and some pill bottles "If he needs it, give him one of these, but no more than four a day…you should probably also think about installing some childproof locks, he tends to try and wander off every now and then" she told the older woman "We really are sorry this happened…he's a very damaged boy"

"Don't you dare make excuses or so help me I will knock you on your ass" Evelyn growled and Bergen was beginning to understand why Evelyn could control the boys the way she did. She was god damned terrifying.

"If you find you're having trouble with him, we'd happily re admit him for proper treatment" Bergen told her.

"If I call you it will be to inform you of an impending lawsuit. As it is, I may not go down that route, I wouldn't want to do that to the other children you have here" With the last, Evelyn shook her head, giving Bergen a once over that made Bergen, in her relatively demure outfit of slacks and a blouse under her lab coat, feel like a barely dressed street walker.

Evelyn turned away and marched to her car, climbing in. Without so much as a backwards glance she drove away, but her sons, they turned as the car was pulling out and gave Bergen the same look their mother had, that once over that made her feel as if she was literally nothing.

Angel was sitting in a chair , one foot on the side of Jack's bed, rocking himself back wards and forwards as he watched Jack. Jack had been doped up all to hell and the Mercer family hated it, so they had opted not to continue with the sedatives he had been prescribed, and where hoping to now detox him off what the doctors had given him.

They had decided to take it in shifts to watch him, to make sure he didn't get sick, or even get up and try to leave, which he had done not long after they first got him home. He hadn't struggled or fought when they guided him back to his bed, simply shuffled with them with frightening complacency.

Angel watched his baby brothers chest rise and fall rhythmically, remembering with a shudder the cold stab of fear he had felt when he had gotten the news from his CO that Jack was in hospital. The man, despite not being too fond of Angel, was aware of the bond the brothers shared, so had been particularly sensitive when he told Angel that his 15 year old brother had tried to kill himself. Angel had been even more shocked when the man had told Angel that he would be getting time off to go to his family, to deal with what ever problems they where having. More than once, while Jack slept almost unstirringly, Angel had found himself doubting his own eyes and had carefully leaned over, laying his hand on Jack's chest, feeling the solid beat of the boys heart.

It was a habit he had gotten into when they where all much younger. For a long time, not long after Jack had come to live with them, Angel had had sudden flashes of fear that Jack was dead in his bed, like the little girl Keisha, whom Angel had known in one of his group homes before he came to Evelyn's house. Keisha had been a perfectly healthy four year old, taken into care because her parents had died in a fire she had escaped totally unscathed. She had big, love filled eyes and a beautiful little smile, and Angel, a hard nut to crack even then had been nuts about her, taking her on as a surrogate little sister for a short time. Then one night, he had awoken gasping and hadn't known why, but had been compelled to go to her room. He had found her, cold and long dead, SIDS, he was later told, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. There had been no reason for her death, it was as if God had simply decided she wasn't for this world and had taken her back. Angel had suffered nightmares for weeks after wards, but eventually learned to deal, but after meeting Jack the old feelings had come back. Now, he couldn't sit still any more and he leaned forward again, careful not to disturb Jack as he laid his hand over his heart.

It thumped against his palm, strong and steady and Angel looked down at his brother sadly. Though he slept soundly, Jack's was frowning slightly in his sleep, his brow furrowed, his lips pursed petulantly. Angel stroked his hair softly, wishing what ever demons where tormenting his baby brother would leave him be.

"Hey" Jerry called gently from the door way.

Angel turned to see Jerry holding two steaming mugs "Ma made cocoa" he smiled slightly.

Angel returned to his seat and took the offered mug, taking a deep breath, savouring the smell of the mug. None of the boys, not even Evelyn had many good memories in life. But those that they did have had almost all happened in this house. And some how, where almost all focused around cocoa.

"So guess what?" Jerry's smile widened slightly as he spoke quietly.

"What man, you getting your teeth fixed?" Angel joked, knowing his brother wouldn't be bothered.

"Only after you get plastic surgery you ugly bastard" Jerry smirked, both of them settling easily into the habit of harmless, sibling rivalry "Naw, man…I'm gonna be a dad" he raised an eye brow.

"Are you serious?" Angel stated, feeling a smile dancing over his lips.

"Just heard, Ma and Bobby are having champagne downstairs, I'm just drinking this then I'm goin home to see my baby momma" Jerry was smiling like a lunatic, but his eyes where joyous.

Angel set his mug down and stood, pulling his smaller, but older brother into a bear hug. "Congratulations man!" he said quietly "That's a beautiful thing" he released his brother.

Jerry shook his head, blowing out a deep breath "Scary though…a little kid, me?" he shrugged.

"Hey bro, don't worry, Ma raised you. Besides, you're the smartest of us all any way, cept maybe for this crazy little bastard if he could get his shit together" Angel nodded at Jack "You gonna be an incredible father, I mean that man" he said sincerely to Jerry.

"Thank you. I mean that…you're gonna be an uncle. Shit Ma's gonna be a Nana!" Jerry smiled even wider "That's the thing though…you know what Bobby and me did to the fucker hurt Jackie?" he asked seriously.

"I wish I'd been there man, shit" Angel nodded.

"Well…shit like that, that's family you know…that's out of love…but the other stuff we do, hustling and stealin shit and hockin it…I don't think, if I'm gonna be a daddy, I don't wanna be doin stuff that could get me taken away from my family you know?"

Jerry started as a hand touched his shoulder and Bobby walked into the room.

"You saying you want out of what we do?" Bobby asked quietly.

"I don't think it would be appropriate…I don't know man, I mean I'll always be there for the family, that shits just a given. But I think if I have the choice to go straight, which I do…I think I should!" he shrugged.

Bobby sat down on Jack's bed and automatically began checking the kids head for a fever. "If that's what you think you gotta do man, I can get behind it" he told Jerry.

Angel nodded in agreement "You're gonna be a dad. And since between the four of us we can tell you exactly how to mess that up, you're probably gonna be the best dad in the world cos you'll have us helping you out" he smiled.

"Speaking of four, what are we gonna do to fix this little cracker Jack?" Bobby asked.

"We're gonna do what ever the hell it takes" Jerry shrugged, as if it where the most obvious thing in the world.