meme – Please don't shoot me with your bow and arrows. But their courtship is over and it won't start back up again. (hides behind a huge boulder) Please don't shoot me!

Vindiya – Was it really heart breaking? I did try my best to make it sad and dramatic. As for them being back together, you'll just have to wait and see.

botan's horse – Did you really almost cry? Hope you had tissues then. Don't worry, Hiei won't kill himself. And that wasn't a copy of Hiei in chapter 16. It was actually the continuation of where it left off in chapter 17. so it was the real Hiei.

Suntiger – So have you figured it out yet? But there's still a little bit more that you may have already figured out.

Ryukotsusei – Thank you. I'm trying my best to update fast.

Crystal Koneko – Hai. Big problems. But I'm sure that our favorite couple will find a way to overcome this predicament. Eventually.

Dragon Tamer103088 – Well, there is something that Koenma could do. I think. But he won't really do anything until the end. But whether it's for the good of Hiei and Botan is left to be unseen.

Ellamr – ""Hello! Its really sad!Ah "Botan was the easiest person for Hiei to choose. Because she was- what?"" That part will be left for later. Yes, Hiei will get depressed. Mukuro and Kurama will still be in the story. And that's so cool that you're from Brazil! What is your language called? Sorry for my ignorance. Thank you for reading my story. And I don't know about the new episodes of YuYu. As far as I knew, the creator stopped writing new stuff on it. So I really don't know. But I do know that he is planning on redrawing all the mangas. Mukuro and Hiei with a child? NO!

Hiei's Ice Maiden – You think that this is happy? Wow. I thought this was supposed to be a drama fic. Unless you don't like Hiei and Botan. But you write and read Hiei and Botan fics. Me confused.

Ookami Otome – What man? Who knows what's going on in that cute head of Hiei's?

Robin Autumn – Aww. I hope that the last chapter could put them back together. But that won't be for a while.

RitSuYue – Thank you. I tried my best in explaining everything.

Keira – It will be… a good ending. Well, I like it. It's okay for you to think and write at the same time. It lets me know what the readers really think and I could make adjustments when needed. Thank you.

Hiei's Kat – Thank you. I tired my best.

tuathafaerie – Someone noticed Kuwabara's sixth sense! He's not a complete idiot! Even Yusuke agrees. He said so in the manga! Sorry. I just hate it when I see fanfics where Kuwabara can't even spell his own name. That's away OOC. He may be slow witted and not easy on the eyes like Kurama, but he isn't stupid! And Hiei won't really be looking for a way to stop her dying. You'll find out why.

LoudMouth0920 – I'm trying my best to update sooner! And thank you.

Kitty Kat – You would what? I will finish this. And thank you for all of your compliments/little next to none criticism. Did you really stay up to the wee hours of the morning? Thank you again.

Hiei'sgirl13 – It's okay if you took a little while to review. How was Chicago? If you're confused, just tell me and I'll try my best to explain everything for you, okay?

The Hell I'm Telling U – Thank you.

Caecuslupa – Somehow, they CAN be together. Solution one: Hiei dies and his soul doesn't go to hell. Solution two: Koenma gives Botan permission to reincarnate herself and begin life again. But with a big chance of falling in love with someone else. Solution three: …. You'll find out. But it all depends on certain people. and it's still the same problem if Botan uses the body of someone else who died. It's not her natural body. Plus, what about the people who knew the person of the body that she's using? And thank you for reading.

Miss Kyoshi – I'm trying to updating soon.

Jelly-to-the-Bean – No evil monkeys! I'm trying to update soon.

kahel09 – Thank you.

hatami – Trying to update soon.

tsukigana – Yes Botan is still a ferry girl. Hiei is off somewhere in Makai being a demon.

Kitsune Kit – Botan and Hiei will not be courting again. Sorry. And yes, poor Botan.

wolfie – I am writing. And thank you.

Sometimes being stupid is fun

"You told them," Botan said after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Hai." Koenma moved with discomfort in his sit. He didn't like the fact that he indirectly helped lead to Botan's pain.

"What am I going to do now?" Botan moaned and buried her face in her hands.

Koenma moved to reach out to her then thought better of it. Time. That's all Botan needed. She needed time. Sometimes Koenma hated being a nice guy.

"Well, you have several choices," Koenma said to fill the silence in the room and did it without thinking. "I could give you an extended vacation where you could just relax. In Ningenkai or Reikai, whichever you prefer. You could go back to work and bury yourself in it. Or you could just…." Koenma stopped at a lost for words.

"Thanks," Botan whispered.

"Stay here….?" Koenma meekly said, feeling stupid.

"Thanks Koenma. Really. I appreciate it. But I think, that I want to be alone right now," Botan said. Her head bent low as she got up.

Koenma's heart went out to her and steeled himself when he saw a tear drop fall from her eyes. Sometimes Koenma hated being ruler of Reikai.

"Wait, Botan."

"Koenma please. I just want to be alone." Her messy bangs covered her eyes and her mouth made a heartbreaking smile.

Half of Koenma wanted to do as she asked. His heart almost blurted out that she can go. That she could leave. Whatever made her happy. But he couldn't. Because he was a king. Because that's what good rulers do. Leniency could only go so far. Even if it was the first offence, she was still top ferry girl and should know better than to do something so stupid.

So Koenma had to do what he was about to do. Sometimes he hated being a king.

"I'm sorry Botan but this can't wait."

Botan slumped back into her chair. "What do you want?"

Koenma noted that her voice was low, sad, and impatient. She really wanted to get out of the office. He took a deep breathe. "When you agreed to use the body that we provided for you, you knew the terms that went along with it."

"Oh," Botan said in a far away voice. "I'm sorry."

Hidden emotions that were suppressed for far too long bubbled inside of him and came out as anger. "You're sorry?" he said more than asked. His tone made Botan look up at him. "Botan, you worried all of your friends and strained your soul so badly that you needed to go to the Restoration Room because you neglected to give your soul a rest! It could have gotten worst for you! What if I didn't find out about it in time? What then? And don't try to say that you forgot."

Botan closed her open mouth. Koenma continued. "And all you have to say is sorry? Sorry? Well I'm sorry Botan but I just need to know why you did this stupid thing that you've done. You won't even get to visit Ningenkai for at least one ningen day. Not to mention that we trusted you to take care of yourself and the body. I should just put you on probation."

Tears ran down Botan's eyes. Regret instantly washed Koenma's anger away. He couldn't look at her anymore, so he turned away. This isn't what he wanted. He never wanted to be the cause of her tears. And this isn't what she needed. She didn't need to be given the third degree by him. As a ruler, this was a good time for it. As a friend, he should've waited until the pain subtle.

Suddenly he felt like a horrible friend. What the hell did he think he was doing? Botan would never trust him again after this. A good friend would have sympathized.

"You're right."

"Huh?" Koenma snapped out of his own scolding.

"You're right," Botan repeated. "I was stupid for neglecting my soul to get any rest." Koenma flinched. "I was so, so stupid. But I am still sorry. Because I am stupid. I just wanted to spend all the time I could with Hiei. When I first left my body and returned, I couldn't feel the warmth that he gave me when he touched me. I couldn't even make my mind remember the warmth. And I panic and didn't want to have to go through that again. So I stayed. But is that so wrong? To want to stay with someone?"

Koenma looked away from her again. How many times had he not done something and fall way behind in paper work just to spend a few minutes with her? How many times had he ignored his other workers just to continue on a conversation with her about how often she should change the outfit of her kimono or hair length every century?

And he knew the answer to her question because he also did a similar thing. But his consequence was not bad enough to endanger a soul. And there lies the difference. It's just too bad she'll never know. She'll never have the companionship the desire to want to stay with someone.

Sometimes it sucked to be him.

"No. It's not wrong," Koenma answered. "It's just… you have to be willing to pay the price. And if the price is worth it. It really isn't about if the desire is right or wrong."

There. Something to make Koenma feel his worth. A small, tiny flicker of hope in her eyes. It went as quickly as it came, but it was there nonetheless.

But what was the hope for?

"Botan, is the vacation that you have right now alright with you?" Koenma asked carefully.

She bit her lip. "I'll think about."

Then she got up and left.

She'll think about it. Koenma weighted the pros and cons to it, all the while hoping that she won't do anything stupid. Again. He wasn't sure if he had the power to spare if she did something really stupid.

What was worst was that he wasn't sure if he'd let himself use a large amount of power on her expense.

"What do you intend to do now, Hiei?" Mukuro's eerie voice asked.

Takeru watched her carefully from the corner of his eye. He knew about Mukuro's feelings for his Lord, but he wasn't quite sure how she'd react to it. A lot better than he expected that's for sure. He thought that she'd give a lecture on how that that was the consequences for pursuing a relationship with a ferry girl or not say anything at all. He didn't expect her to ask more about the subject.

He chided himself for not giving her much credit. She was after all a demon.

Then again, she was a demon. They handled their emotions differently than elves. And ningens. He shouldn't have compared his kind to theirs or think that they'd respond in the same fashion.

Hiei didn't even flinched when he looked at her in the eye and said, "Continue on with my life."

Takeru saw a brief look of satisfaction on her face. Now that was something that he expected.

"Takeru, leave us."

And that wasn't.

He looked towards Hiei for directions, hoping that he didn't have to leave like Mukuro ordered. He was his overlord's confident. Aside from a couple of people like Kurama, who hasn't been visiting a lot lately, and Yukina, for obvious reasons, and probably Botan too. But Hiei nodded his head and Takeru got up and left.

Sometimes he hated not being a demon.

Hiei made a half smirk at Takeru's resentment for being sent away. The elf was hardly ever sent away and was hardly ever seen not composed. To see him like that was one little up for the day. Though Hiei still had to force his smirk.

Inside he frowned. He wanted to hit something badly. Maybe even kill. Ruining and destroying his bedroom and other parts of Makai didn't give him much satisfactory.

The feeling that he was currently experiencing did not sit well with him either. It was a mixture of emotions. Anger, sadness, resentment, anguish, bitterness, lost. So many emotions and feelings that he didn't think he was capable of overwhelmed him and threatened to consume him. Hatred for the abhorrence sensations tempted him to slash himself deeply just to focus on the physical pain than the tidal waves of the mental ones. Beat his head against rocks and wall didn't help him much either.

Almost anything would be better than this pain that he felt. Shame also wormed its way into his heart. His pride of cutting himself off from weakness that feelings provided was gone. Evaporated. He knew that it would never return. He could recover but will he will always have the stain of being broken and subjected to such petty emotions. It just gave him another reason to get angry. And when there was a large amount of anger, there was deep power boiling inside him that needed to be let loose else he'll explode.

Another reason was that despite all of his feelings and hatred, he still wanted to see her. The baka onna that still plagued his mind and refused to leave his heart. A renewed disgust for ningens went along with it. If Botan had been a demon, this wouldn't be happening. He should have known better.

But he was weak and needed to find a mate to calm his raw nerves that demanded a woman. And he just had to go and care deeply for someone that now he had to pay the price. Heartbreak was a bitch.

"I need to kill something," he announced.

"I was waiting for you to say that," Mukuro said.

"Let's train. I need to let off some steam." He got up and cracked his neck. "It's getting dull mourning something that the fates didn't want."

"I didn't know that you believed in fate," Mukuro lead him outside. "I didn't know that you mourned either."

Hiei fell into step with her. "I don't."

"To both?"

He didn't miss a beat. "To both."

But you do grieve.

Hiei mentally scowled. Grief and mourn were the same. If he didn't mourn than he didn't grieve. It wasn't an either or.

But it is. To mourn is to express grief. To grieve is to sorrow or cause harm.

So you're saying I was the cause of all of this?

You made her cry. Hurt her.

She was the one who did it first.

And in turn, hurt yourself.

Hiei couldn't believe that he was arguing with himself. He was getting as bad as humans. He forced the voice inside his head to be silent. It took a little while but he finally had some sort of peace in his mind, even if it was from himself. Outwardly he scowled. A nearby demon fled from him.

"You're going to scare everyone from here," Mukuro commented.

"And that would be a bad thing?"

"Only if you want them to be apart of your army."

"There'll always be more to have as solders."

The rest of the walk to their special training grounds was silent. Once there, Hiei immediately took out his sword and leapt towards Mukuro. She blocked him and jumped backwards. Rage boiled inside Hiei. Running at an incredible speed helped soothe him. Rising his sword to cut Mukuro in half made him feel more alive. She dodged the incoming blow.

It didn't matter to him that he missed her. They still had the rest of the day. This after all, was what he lived for. Fighting to the death or until one or both of them could no longer stand. The feel, scent, and taste of blood. No fear of consequences. This is what he should have been doing for the past two weeks or so. The trill of battle and desire to become stronger. That is what he needed out of life. And his sister too. Nothing more, nothing less.

Getting lost in what he would almost call a dance with Mukuro, Hiei didn't think about Botan. And that's just the way he preferred.

Botan sighed to herself. She was sick of crying. But the more she willed herself to stop crying, the more the tears came running down her cheeks. Never had she ever cry this much. Then again, never had she ever experience heartbreak. Botan put her hand on her mouth to hold back a snob.

She really didn't like crying.

She also recently didn't like gossiping.

Because the funny thing about spirits, they never were one to be totally silent. She could hear whispers and glances thrown her way. It just made her heart break even more.

"Did you hear?"

"About Botan and what's his name?"

"I heard that it was Hiei."

"…. Botan ….. Hiei …."

"I thought that he hated ningens."

"He doesn't even work for Koenma-sama!"

Botan got up from her fetal position and left. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to not think. She not wanted to be reminded of Hiei. She just needed to be alone and cry. Once she found a seclude spot, Botan sat down and let the tears fall. She was tired of fighting them to stay inside. And then against her will and her mind screaming no, her heart decided to reminiscence about the past weeks.

The way that Hiei touched her when he corrected on a position or move….

The way that his skin felt so warm….

The way that his eyes were so red and when he looked at her with them….

Botan shivered. She remembered when she tripped and fell when she running to catch up him when he was mad at her. She still got to hug him. Then he forgave her for a stupid mistake that she made. Guilt and shame washed over her. It seemed that all she had been doing lately was do stupid things. And all she did for them was apologize.

She really was a baka onna. She didn't deserve him. He needed someone better than her. Someone who could fight, who didn't need protection, and who wasn't a baka. He didn't need her. She was just a burden who couldn't fight and she was once a human. She'd be housed in a ningen body even if she did miraculously get back together with him. And then she'd be faced with scorn by other demons and others who would want to eat her. Not many would respect her for who she was because she a ferry girl. One who work for Reikai who taught people who to fight them. To kill them.

Nothing good would come out of a relationship with him.

And despite all of it, she knew that she loved him.

The half breed fire demon who couldn't muster up a smile for anything unless he was in a fight or it was for Yukina. The wielder of the Dragon of the Darkness Flame who had the biggest ego she ever saw when it came for asking help or admitting that he was weak. Hiei, who loved ice cream and to which he fondly called sweet snow. The person who would do anything for Yukina because she was his sister. And more than that, his twin.

"There you are," Ayame said coming up to Botan. "I've been looking all over for you. Are you alright?" Ayame had been looking for her friend for a while. When she heard all the gossip and rumors flying around Botan, she was delayed because she had to put a stop to it.

"I miss him," Botan whispered.

"What?"

"I miss him," Botan repeated. Tears welled in her eyes. "I did something stupid didn't I?"

Ayame hugged her. She loved the blue hair ferry girl dearly. It hurt to see her close friend in pain. It hurt to see Koenma in pain because of Botan's pain. She was there when Hiei left Reikai. Ayame could tell that he was hurt even though he face was emotionless. There was just so much pain.

"Did your heart tell you to do what you did?" Ayame stroked Botan's back as comfort.

"Yes." Botan almost choked on her snob.

Ayame pulled Botan away so that the other girl could see her eyes. "Then you did nothing stupid. Following your heart is not stupid. Do you understand Botan?"

Botan nodded her head and then went back into Ayame's arms for comfort. It was nice to have a friend in a time of need.

"What should I do now Ayame?" Botan asked quietly when the tears finally stopped following.

"What does your heart say?"

Botan searched for what her heart wanted. "I want to see him."

"Then you should go see him."

"I don't have a body."

"I'll contract a body for you."

"You'd really do that?" Botan asked hopefully.

"Of course."

"Thank you Ayame!" Botan hugged the other woman tightly. "I'm going to see him. I don't care if I have to wait all week but I want to see him. I have to see him. I have to talk to him. I can't just sit here and cry anymore!" Determination was set in her eyes. Nothing would stop her. Whatever price she had to pay, she knew that it had to be worth it. It just had to be. Nothing else was acceptable.

"Then wait two ningen days," Ayame informed her as she got up. "It'll take me that long to build another body for you and I don't think that Koenma-sama should know about it just yet."

"Hai," Botan agreed. She sniffed a bit, feeling better. She was going to see him again. Then everything will be better again. There was hope.