"I Do"
Chapter 5
The Other Woman
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Asuka was pissed.
While this was not unusual, her reason was.
The doll...the emotionless doll...had married Shinji.
Not only that, but she had bedded him as well.
No, Asuka Langley Souryu did not take second place to an emotionless doll. She would not lose, even the little worm known as Shinji Ikari, to the doll.
He was her prize. Did she not spend countless hours trying to make him into a better person through negative reinforcement? Did she not share her first kiss with him? Did she not pilot an EVA with him; allow him into her precious Unit 02?
But no, apparently it was not enough to keep the doll from claiming what was hers. Somehow, Wondergirl had tricked Shinji into it. And now, Asuka would have to get him back.
But to get him back, she would sadly need help. The teacher was worthless, as he had passed out two hours after class started, mumbling about pineapples, bombs, and asshole kendo captains. Kensuke had reminded her they had "counseling" after school, but her glare silenced him.
So she was now here at NERV, at the office of the only person who she would trust to help her. As he opened his door, she got to the point before he could greet her. "Kaji, I need your help to seduce Shinji away from his doll wife, Wondergirl."
The spy known as Kaji Ryouji blinked. He had been preparing to give Asuka an excuse why he had to leave quickly. After all, with Gendo holed up in the infirmary for the next month, he would have an easier time getting the information the Japanese government and SEELE desired of him.
However, this sounded too good to pass up. If Ikari had married Ayanami, then SEELE would love this, as it showed Gendo was either up to something new, or completely out of control. "Um, sure. Now, why don't you explain this to me?"
As he shut his door, he knew today was going to be a good day.
Shinji slowly made his way into the kitchen, bath robe wrapped around him. When he had left school with Rei, they had only made a side trip to the store for lunch before heading home and sleeping. He discovered his sheets had been changed...most likely by Rei while he was cooking breakfast, and didn't even notice until both him and Rei were back under the covers that they were both nude.
He fell asleep before the awkwardness got to him.
Now, he needed to prepare them lunch. Rei had asked for a small portion of meat, saying she wanted to acquire the taste so that they could share more types of meals together.
Of course, he noticed two things immediately upon entering the kitchen.
One, Misato was still passed out on the table.
Two, PenPen was on the ground with a bruised eye, showing that poking Asuka when upset was perhaps not the brightest idea the penguin had had.
Sighing, he pulled the newly purchased salmon from the fridge and began to heat it up in the microwave. As soon as he had finished opening a beer and laying PenPen inside his room, he took the plate out, sat it on the penguin's stomach, and closed the fridge door; only the sound of the small TV inside the fridge letting him know the hot water penguin had woken up.
Opening some cans of soup, Shinji prepared as much as he dared hope with his guardian passed out. "Man, without someone forcing her to, she'd sleep all day."
Finally, a meal was made ready, and Shinji began to set it all on the trays. His wife was still in their bed asleep. Man, that will take some getting used to. And he would prefer to eat his last meal with her and keep Misato as far away as possible.
Plus, it was a few steps closer to the bathroom should Rei not be able to stomach a small amount of Chicken Noodle Soup.
Shinji stopped at the doorway of the kitchen. Had he come to accept the marriage? Was he really standing at a threshold to having a happy life?
"Nah, Asuka will come home and kill me."
Shinji just plastered on a smile and headed for his room. Sure, he was married, and most likely, soon to be killed in action by Asuka. So why not enjoy the last hours of his life.
Before he left, he heard a small clock go off, signaling the hour. It was followed by Misato mumbling about proving that Kaji was actually a minute-man.
Shinji shook his head as the "Too Much Information" warning light came on.
But should he survive, he now had something to tease Kaji back with.
"So, Kaji, you understand why I have to do this?"
Kaji was tempted to open up his "special" cigarettes after hearing Asuka's story. Somehow, she told him that she wanted Shinji for her own self, without making it seem like she was a hormonal teenager or that she had any desire for Shinji. "So, exactly what do you want me to do?"
"Simple, I need you to get Wondergirl here tonight so I can seduce the baka and rescue him from the doll."
Yes, definitely smoking the good stuff later on tonight.
But there was a positive side to this. If he could use the three pilots to create enough havoc, then he would have no trouble securing the files he needed. "Okay, Asuka, I'll help you. Maybe I'll talk to Ritsuko; I think Rei might need a new sync test."
Asuka smiled and left, never once hitting on Kaji.
After getting over his depression for being ignored by the redhead, he left to talk to Ritsuko.
Then...he would light up.
Gendo was slowly going insane thanks to the latest DVD the Technician Doe had placed in the player.
Thanks to Hamtaro, soon, all hamsters would feel his wrath.
"THEY DID WHAT?"
Kaji checked his ears to make certain they were still working after Ritsuko's outburst. "Yep, married legally and enjoyed their first romantic night as man and wife. From what I heard, she gave Shinji high marks."
Ritsuko was trying hard not to freak out. True, her love interest's main project had just hopped into bed with his estranged son, proving she was not the faithful follower of Gendo's dogma she had appeared to be. Moving over to her desk, she pulled out a bottle of flavored vodka and took several shots to calm her nerves, before staring at the doomed messenger. Yes, she was pissed that she had not been informed about this, that Misato had been lacking in her responsibility, and that apparently Section 2 needed to be eliminated and replaced. "So, Shinji and Rei are—"
"Together, an item, doing it, playing slap and tickle, doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel, making—"
"I got it!' She began considering what the damage would be. Gendo might try and have Rei II eliminated and activate Rei III, which meant memory alteration, as well as a "cleaning" of the documented sources.
Of course, it hurt her that apparently, Shinji could make a virgin's first time a great experience, while Gendo was a "WAM! BAM! Thank you, Ma'am!" person.
Of course, if she had evidence that their relationship was beneficial...
"I was going to suggest bringing them in separately and testing their sync ratios, since I doubt Commander Ikari will be too happy about their relationship."
"Fine, I will call Rei in for a sync test today, and have Shinji come in tomorrow. Besides, I need to talk with both of them independently to make certain they know of possible consequences to starting a family so soon."
As Kaji left smiling, he set to making plans on which data repositories to hit tonight.
Ritsuko, meanwhile, was making plans to both dress down her friend for allowing Shinji and Rei to have sex, as well as trying to squelch an urge to find out if perhaps the newer model of Ikari was better.
Rei was lying on her husband's chest, enjoying his scent. Lunch had gone well, and after some momentary discomfort, she had managed to keep the soup inside her stomach. While the prospect of eating meat seemed wrong to her, she was willing to try to so as to lower her husband's discomfort on the subject.
As her phone rang, she rolled over on the bed, since Shinji had taken the side against the wall, and answered the phone.
She had a small tinge of anger in her voice. She was enjoying her private time with her husband, and while sleep was not as...enjoyable...as sex, she still enjoyed the sensation of simply holding him. "Yes?"
"Is it necessary?"
"I understand. I shall come at the determined time."
"Thank you."
She hung up the phone, and proceeded to set the alarm clock to wake her up in an hour. She would be hard pressed, but she would get to enjoy a little more time with her Anata.
Quickly thinking, she dialed the number to Section 2, and had them proceed to do surveillance on Shinji when she left. After all, Pilot Souryu was no doubtedly going to be upset with him.
She always was.
"Perhaps I should help her marriage as well. If it has helped me, surely it will help her."
She resolved to do just that as she clutched her husband again. Yes, getting Asuka in a happy marriage was the best for everyone.
Asuka arrived home, placing her newly acquired wears in her bedroom, before waking up Misato. She needed to make certain her guardian was gone, as it would not help her plans to seduce Shinji. "Misato, didn't you need to be at work...like eight hours ago?"
"Huh? What?" Misato was still recovering from her latest drinking binge.
"Misato, it's two in the afternoon."
"ACK! I'M LATE!" Asuka began rubbing her but after she landed on it, watching as Misato ran around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to quickly dress and head off to work.
Smiling to herself as her guardian left, she made her way to her room. Taking one last look at Shinji's door, she entered her room. "Now, should I wear the see-thru negligee, or the crotchless panties? Whatever I do, I must work my hardest to save the baka."
Hey, she believed it.
As the guards at Section 2 were watching, they sat back in their chairs. "Now that was a great episode. I honestly didn't think Sponge Bob would survive."
"Me too. Now stop hogging the weed."
"What's on next?"
"Um...Jerry Springer. The subject is 'I fell in love with another man's fiancée'. Kind of weird."
"Hey! Weren't we supposed to be doing something?"
"Nah! If it was important, we would have remembered it."
"Yeah!"
"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"
As Rei left her home, she had a sudden bad feeling that Shinji was in trouble. But that made no sense. After all, Section 2 was watching him.
Shaking her head, she entered the NERV compound. Even if she knew she was being overly nervous, she would still endeavor to complete her needed tasks.
Besides, once she was inside Unit 00, she could have the Section 2 security feeds from the apartment forwarded to her display inside the entry plug. If for nothing else, it would ease this feeling of distress she had.
As the elevator began to descend, she dialed up Section 2. "What is the current status of Pilot Ikari?"
"He's fine."
"Is Pilot Souryu endangering him?"
"Nope, everything's fine."
"Very well."
Oddly, the call just made her more nervous.
"Who was that?"
"Oh, the albino pilot. She's worried about the Ikari kid."
"What? Like anything would ever happen to him. Now if that guardian of his would just finally throw him down and have her way with him—"
"Nah, she's still stuck on that Kaji-asshole. Now stop talking, Jerry's about to introduce that Ukyo girl's fiancé."
"Man, I never would have guessed Tsubasa was a guy."
"Now let's bring out...Ranma!"
"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"
Shinji slowly began to set out dinner. Rei would be gone for most of the day with her sync tests, so he would set some aside for her.
Still, he felt bad. He wished that he had gone in with her; a first for him: actually wanting to pilot EVA. True, it was more to spend time with his wife. Still not used to that.
Of course, it also had something to do with the fact he was certain Asuka was home.
Yes, he would admit self-preservation played a role in that decision.
Sighing, he gave PenPen his meal and shut the fridge door, noticing how the hot water fowl was enjoying the pampering he was receiving. Well, maybe from now on he'll be nicer to me when Asuka nails me again.
Though he doubted it. The redheaded pilot had yet to confront him on not only his marriage to Rei, but the resulting acknowledgement that they had had...relations. If anything, it symbolized that the storm was still out to see, preparing to drown Shinji in a tsunami of rage and angry fists.
And while his ego had received a boost when Rei commented on his performance last night—a small boost mind you—he was still uncertain about things. Would she divorce him when the assignment was over? Why exactly did she take the assignment so...literally? Why was she doing all that she was doing?
And of course: when would this happy little moment in his painful existence end?
"Oh, Shinji?"
Right about now.
Shinji slowly turned around, seeing Asuka standing in the doorway, blocking his only route of escape, and wearing a large housecoat. A locking chain sound was all he needed to hear to tell him that PenPen had abandoned him to his fate. FUCKING PENGUIN! "Um...Asuka...how can I...help you?" He tried to not show or feel fear. After all, the German might be able to smell that fear and attack.
Her smile did little to calm the nerves of the pilot of Unit 01. "Shinji, my sweet baka, I have a little present for you."
I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! "Um, you don't need to get me anything, Asuka." I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
"Oh, but I needed to do this for you, Shinji." She then dropped the housecoat to the floor, revealing the outfit she had on underneath.
It was a full body fishnet stocking that was very see-thru; a leather loin cloth covered her waist with metal studs, a set of small chains covering her breasts...sort of.
He was fighting the urge to lose control and pass out. I'm married! It's a trap! "Um...it is...very nice, Asuka. Um, I'm sure Kaji will love it."
Smiling, she advanced on her prey. "It's not for him, lover boy. It...is...for...you."
I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
Omake #1 by Hawk:
"Now that was a great episode! I honestly thought that she'd jump him the moment they hit the sack!" Agent One exclaimed, leaning back in his seat as he observed the two pilots sleeping peacefully.
"I keep telling you, it's not a reality soap. We are working for a covert organization working to save the planet from the threat of these 'angels' and our job is to keep an eye on the pilots." Agent Two groaned.
"Yeah, yeah. So you keep telling me. I still don't believe it." Agent One retorted. "Besides, you're the one who brought the popcorn."
"I was feeling peckish..." Agent two muttered with faint hints of embarrassment, popping a few kernels into his mouth, enjoying the salty flavor.
"What's on next?" Agent One asked.
"Not a reality soap!" Agent Two snapped. "I guess we can watch the kitchen for a while, I always get a kick out of seeing that penguin pick Misato's pockets."
"What do you suppose he does with the money?" Agent One asked with a befuddled expression.
"I intercepted this in the mail yesterday." Agent Two gloated, snatching a DVD from the shelf behind him.
"'Horny Penguin Nuns III - The Last Cummin'." Agent One quoted off the cover. "'Watch these holy birds take it all the way', 'The Daily Penguin rates this movie five salmons and four trouts', 'You have never seen Penguina del Rio like this'." he continued, then shook his head. "Why is the cover sticky?" he asked after a few moments, peering intently at the plastic cover.
"Ah... Neveryoumindaboutthat!" Agent Two snapped and took the DVD back, carefully putting it back on the shelf he'd taken it from. "Now, let's see if we can angle one of the cameras down Misato's cleavage!" he hastily added, to divert the other agent's attention from the DVD.
"Oh, yeah! That'll do wonders for the ratings!" Agent One approved enthusiastically.
"We're not editors for a reality soap. How often do I have to tell you that?" Agent Two groaned.
Omake #2 by Hawk:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Wah!" Shinji exclaimed as the unexpected sound made him loose his balance and stumble. His head swiveled around towards the direction he'd heard the howl of anguish from.
Through the reinforced walls of the apartment, made to withstand a direct hit from an 80mm shell.
Through several skyscrapers, built to remain standing even in the midst of a war for mankind's very survival.
Across nearly a third of Tokyo-3.
"I AM A DEAD MAN!"
"Wow, Aida-kun certainly has a healthy set of lungs on him." Misato commented from the breakfast table.
"Kensuke?" Shinji exclaimed, blinked and realized that his sexy guardian was correct. That had indeed been Kensuke. But just what could have upset his young friend to such a degree?
"ASUKA IS GOING TO KILL ME! MARRIED, TO HER! THE RED DEVIL!"
"Ah." Shinji said as realization struck. He turned away from the stove and glanced over at Rei, who was seated at the breakfast table, calmly reading the morning newspaper as she waited for breakfast to be served. "Rei. You wouldn't have something to do with Kensuke and Asuka getting married, now would you?" he asked.
"Indeed, dearest. I discovered that the two of them had not yet been properly wed, so I informed city hall that the two of them were in fact married and requested that they send confirmation of this to both of them posthaste." Rei replied.
"Oh? How did you manage that?" Misato asked.
"I showed them my NERV ID and informed them that piloting an Evangelion is tricky business. Keeping track of the EVA's feet is a task that demands much concentration and accidents do happen from time to time." Rei stated calmly. "After I proceeded to inform the clerk and his manager that I knew where their homes were located, they became most helpful."
"Does Asuka know yet?" Shinji asked.
+Cli-click+
The sound of a pump-action shotgun loading a round into the chamber was deafening in the kitchen, as Asuka quite calmly strode through the kitchen, heading for the door.
"Ah. Guess that answers my question..." Shinji mumbled under his breath, afraid to say or do anything that would shift Asuka's attention to him.
Misato had no such qualms, however.
"Going somewhere, Asuka?" she asked.
"Yes. I'm going out to buy myself a couple of presents to get over the fact that I turned out to be a widow at such a young age." Asuka cheerfully replied.
"Aida-kun is still alive." Misato pointed out.
"Not for much longer." Asuka said and slammed the door shut behind her.
Omake by Lord Raa:
Ritsuko pondered the results of Rei's latest sync test. "She's improved considerably since the last one. Perhaps allowing them to stay together might not be such a bad idea."
A knock on her office door made her look up.
"Yes?"
The door opened to reveal Rei looking at the blonde with a concerned look on her face.
"Is there something I can do to help you Rei?"
Rei advanced to Ritsuko's desk. "I have seen the way you have been looking at Shinji-kun since you found out about our marriage."
"And?" Ritsuko asked, feeling slightly unnerved by the tone of Rei's voice.
"I understand that you are curious about his abilities as a lover. You wish to compare and contrast with his father," Rei said with a knowing smile.
"I never said that," Ritsuko protested.
"That is true, but I can see by the look in your eye that you are jealous that I bagged the Ikari family love machine. I will allow you to enjoy a night with my husband. For a price."
"What are you talking about?" Ritsuko feigned ignorance.
"I will rent out Shinji-kun to you for one night for 15,000 yen. I want him fed and back in one piece before 2.30 am," Rei explained. "A minute later and you will ruin it for everyone."
"Ruin it for everyone?" Ritsuko parroted. "What do you mean?"
"If people cannot abide by my rules, then I will have no choice but to take my husband off the rental market."
"That's pretty cold," the blonde noted.
"But it is in the Nabiki Tendo Guide to Exploiting Your Family for Fun and Profit," Rei smiled as she pulled out a copy of the book in question.
Omake by Shadowbakasama:
"I have something else for you as well." Asuka says as she stalks Shinji.
"W-what else?"
"Well, Sensei gave Kensuke and me these marriage aids." Asuka tells him as she gets a couple of water bottles from the fridge. "When I showed them to Kaji he went and retrieved an Artifact that was confiscated from the Musk terrorists in China. He said it would enhance the performance of these powders. Although I am curious as to why using a ladle would increase the potency of these drink powders." 'Of course he also said that this would break up the marriage between Shinji and the Wonder Doll, but he didn't tell me how.'
"So we drink them?" Shinji asks as he looks for an escape.
"Not exactly." she replies as she pops the spout on one bottle and squeezes the bottle spraying Shinji with a stream of water.
"Ahh! You got me wet!" Shinji yells in a high pitch of voice than usual.
"And now for me." Asuka says opening her bottle and pouring it over her head.
Asuka grows about 4 inches in height and her chest and shoulders expand as her breasts shrink, her muscles bulk up and she groans in pain. "Arh. It made my thong shrink! Oh man! Talk about riding up! Ouch!"
Of course Shinji is seeing the change and hearing the lower voice of Asuka and looks down to see her, ugh scratch that, his thong bulging out in front. Looking a little lower she sees how her wet shirt is molded to her perky breasts and how the cold water is making her nipples stand out. Lifting her hands to her breasts Shinji gives them a little squeeze and checks out the heft and estimates that she will need a C-cup, then her mind decides it's been a tough day and it's time to shut down.
#Thump#
Meanwhile Asuka is pulling out her thong to get a little relief and notices a few changes. 'Bigger, stronger hands. /Check. / Large uh package. /Check. / OK, Houston we have a problem. /No shit Sherlock. /' Looking up and seeing the Shinji isn't going anywhere for awhile, Asuka goes to the bathroom to get out of his suddenly inappropriate clothing.
Standing in the buff in front of the mirror Asuka checks out the new body. 'I look stronger than Touji.' Asuka thinks as he looks at his muscles. "Of course I'm half German; I'm naturally going to be larger than most Japanese. And I've always exercised, now, as a man, I have the muscles to show for it."
Putting on a robe Asuka goes out to check on Shinji and maybe get a little something to drink. "Yeah, I could really use a stiff drink about now."
"Ahh look at little Shinji-chan." Asuka says while dragging the girl over to the couch. "I wonder where the green hair came from?"
After laying Shinji on the couch Asuka goes after a six-pack of lager and settles into the other chair. #Pop-fisss# #Chug-chug-chug# "Ahh. That hits the spot. Hey! Shinji!"
"What!" Shinji yells back. "Man what happened?" She moans after sitting up to fast.
"You fainted like a little girl." Asuka informs her. "Here, I think you need a beer."
"Beer? Yeah, sounds good. Gimme." Shinji snags the 16 oz lager that Asuka tossed to her. "You didn't shake this up did you?"
"Nah." #Pop-Fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz#
"Ahhh!" Shinji yells as the beer foams all over and soaks her shirt and pants.
"Didn't need to, just throwing it to you was enough." Asuka remarks trying to hold in his laughter. "This brand has a really good head of foam when poured, so even tossing it around will get it to spew."
"You bitch!" Shinji hisses at him.
"Ah ah. Now I'm a Son of a Bitch. Get it right." Asuka replies shaking a finger at the cute girl. "Now let's get you out of those wet clothes." He says while pulling Shinji from to couch and pushing her towards the bathroom.
"I'll make you another drink!" Asuka yells to Shinji in the bathroom while looking thru the drink fridge. "Hmm, beer, beer, beer, bourbon. Ahh Boilermaker! Heh heh heh. The first rule of scoring on a date: Get the girl hammered." So he gets the bourbon and beer out, then pulls out a large pitcher and some mugs. "She'll never know what hit her. Heh heh heh."
Later ...
Shinji woke up with a terrible headache. The light was too bright, her mouth was dry, her stomach was unsettled, and she was really sore, all over, but especially in her groin. 'I didn't drink that much did I? Shows me to try and out drink Asuka.' "Ugh."
"Well, looks like Shin-chan is up."
Shinji looks over and sees a buff looking red-haired Gaijin dude in her bed. "Wha-what happened?"
"You should have taken it easier on those Boilermakers."
"I thought it was just beer."
"Well that's still a poor excuse for forgetting our wedding night Shin-chan."
"NANI!" Shinji pulls the sheets off and sees that she is naked, he is naked, and that that soreness in her groin was explained by the red stain on the sheets. "NOOOOOO!"