"I Do"

Chapter 6

Stand By Your Man

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Shinji would normally tell you that only a certain amount of things scared him.

Piloting Unit 01...

Facing an Angel in battle...

Failing someone who really needed him...

Asuka...

Well, he had a new fear.

Apparently, somewhere between when Rei left and he entered the kitchen, he had been sucked into a parallel reality. His proof was the normally feisty and violent pilot of Unit 02, standing in the doorway and blocking his only escape route, wearing very little.

She was also exposing this fact to him as she shifted slightly, revealing that it was only the chains that were hiding her modesty...well, not anymore.

Only two things...well, three things were going through his mind.

The first—and by far, the weakest voice—stated that Asuka was nearly naked in front of him, trying to jump-start a libido worn out from last night, when it had been brought back from the dead.

The second—and by far, the loudest voice—stated that he was going to be killed as soon as Asuka came back to reality. Obviously, the girl was either drugged, drunk, or suffering a head injury or fever. When she returned to normal, she would castrate him.

The third—and newest voice—simply promised God as much pain as possible for placing him in this hell.

As Asuka advanced towards him, the third voice grew louder.

PenPen turned up the small TV inside his room, trying to drown out the sounds he knew would soon be coming.

He liked the kind one, he really did. He gave him food, allowed him to go first in bathing, and scratched his back when Misato's boots weren't around.

He was the perfect Master.

Too bad the angry one had set her sights on him.

He would be missed.

"So," continued Ritsuko, "you are saying you are completely innocent about this."

Misato was having a bad day. She had a bad hangover, was hungry since she hadn't gotten any breakfast or lunch, and was just yelled at by her best friend for allowing Shinji and Rei to have sex. Wow, never knew he had it in him...or she had it in her...wait, was that a joke? "Um...as the one in charge, I say everything is fine."

"Everything is not fine, Misato!" screamed Ritsuko. "Do you know what this could do? What if Rei gets pregnant? What if Shinji loses concentration in battle if Rei is injured, or vice versa?"

"Nothing to worry about," she said dismissively, wanting to find a vending machine and break it open. "Actually, I say they will fight that much harder to make certain the other is safe."

"Dr. Akagi?"

She stopped her prepared retort to Misato, to answer Rei's call. "Yes, Rei?"

"Could you please patch me in to Section 2? I am uncertain as to the safety of Anata, as he is alone with Pilot Souryu."

"Rei, I'm sorry, but this is a sync test. I—" She was cut off as Rei disconnected from her end.

"Well, Ritsuko, looks like you upset the newlywed."

She soon began to yell at Misato again.

Rei was perturbed. She merely wanted to check in on her husband, as was demanded by the uneasy feelings she was having at his current whereabouts. She switched to a private line that only her EVA had, which enabled her to connect directly to the MAGI system. "Connect me directly to Section 2."

She waited for a few seconds, but no one was acknowledging her. "Override and activate connection."

"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

"Man, that Ranma guy makes a hot girl!"

"Man, wish I had that curse!"

A small twitch in Rei's left eye began to grow. "Excuse me."

"Man, look at that Shampoo girl!"

"Damn, she is hot!"

"Excuse me!"

"But what about that Akane girl?"

"Man, she is a raging lesbian if I ever saw one."

"YOU WILL GIVE ME YOUR FULL ATTENTION OR I WILL HAVE YOU DRAGGED TO TOKYO-2 BY YOUR PRIVATES!"

The guys of Section 2 immediately went quiet, and turned to face the monitor showing the very twitchy and angry pilot of Unit 00. "Um...yes, ma'am?"

She smiled in such a way; two of the group knew they would need to change their pants soon. "I wish for a direct feed from the surveillance on the home of my husband, Pilot Ikari."

"Y-y-y-yes, ma'am."

As her display shifted, she began combing through the myriad of cameras to locate her husband. I must remember to remove these cameras from the bedroom, as well as any other place I may wish to be intimate with Anata.

She froze at the image being sent by Camera 12-B-6.

Shinji was not in the kitchen, but in the front room, having dived past Asuka, but not recovering quickly enough to avoid her attack. He was down on his back, as the German pilot crawled up his body on all fours, her outfit leaving little to the imagination.

The twitch returned with a vengeance as she watched. Rei then felt an overwhelming amount of emotion, trying to identify it.

Happiness? Nope, definitely not.

Sadness? Nope, seeing Asuka attack Shinji was not sad.

Anger? It did feel close to what she had felt when Shinji had insulted the Commander that time.

But this emotion was far stronger...and directed fully at the redheaded pilot.

Pilot Souryu is attempting to seduce Shinji. Why? Is Aida not enough for her? She has not asked for permission, and she is deviating from the assignment.

The most likely reason is that she has either snapped—which is a strong possibility from her psych profile—or she is attempting to steal Anata from me because she has found her husband inferior.

This...is not acceptable. She is interfering in my scenario.

Anata...is...MINE!

"I'm telling you, Ritsuko," confidently proclaimed Misato, "they are good for each other. What's the worst that could happen?"

Misato and Ritsuko were brought out of their argument when Maya yelled to them. "Unit 00 is launching!"

"WHAT?" both screamed as they ran to the main console. "Rei, what are you doing?" asked the frantic Ritsuko.

"Anata is in trouble. Section 2 surveillance shows that Pilot Souryu is attempting to seduce Anata and steal him from me. This cannot be allowed. That is all." With that, Rei cut communication and disabled remote access to her EVA: another skill only she knew about.

Ritsuko paused from her frantic attempts to regain control over Unit 00 via remote to stare at Misato. "'What's the worst that could happen' you say. I bet you didn't know about this either, huh?"

"Hey, what are the odds Asuka would do that?"

Ritsuko sighed as she began to retake control again. It was sadly obvious how little of those psych profiles Misato actually read. "Well, perhaps you would like to call home and inform Asuka that Rei is coming with her EVA to teach her a lesson." Ritsuko decided to say something that would actually make the temporary Commander of NERV move. "Perhaps before Rei tears apart your building to get to them."

It worked.

"SOMEONE GET ME A PHONE LINE NOW!"

Asuka smiled as she nibbled on Shinji's left earlobe. The baka had been unable to escape her, stunned by her tactics. She already had a...obvious...indication that he enjoyed her outfit, as well as the attention she was graciously giving him.

Already, she had been able to...remove...several items of his clothing. The only thing remaining between her and her goal of securing Shinji for herself was his boxers.

Soon, she would claim ownership of him, make him never again need to seek comfort from the doll.

He was hers by all rights, and now she was going to prove it.

If only that damn phone would stop ringing, and Shinji would stop trying to keep his boxers on.

Unit 00 was pissed.

Okay, the soul of Dr. Naoko Akagi had many reasons to be pissed. Her daughter was banging her former love interest. He spurned her to focus on his precious Rei. He had her absorbed by Unit 00 when she was no longer useful to him.

Spurned did not begin to describe the woman's disposition since then.

Now, thanks to the memories of Rei, she learned how truly pathetic Gendo had been in bed.

I was with the wrong Ikari!

This did little to help her confidence. Imagine finding out that the man who you had been sleeping with was so bad, a fourteen year old virgin was better on his first try than him.

It didn't help to find out that you were with the Minuteman of the family, while another girl got the Navy Seal.

So, what would she do now?

Rei had turned against Gendo, and was willing to do anything to protect her new light. She was currently piloting with fierce intent on removing another new obstacle against that light: Pilot Souryu.

Normally, the soul bonded to Unit 00 would fight against Rei, if for nothing else than spite.

Now, it would support her.

After all, Unit 02 had always been too bitchy for her tastes. So, you think your daughter is so fucking wonderful, huh? Well, we'll see how wonderful she is dangling from a progressive knife in her underwear.

Silly girl, she was thinking Asuka was wearing them.

Shinji slammed his door shut, locking it. Bracing himself against it to further hold off the enraged and...confused...pilot of Unit 02, he took stock at what had so far occurred.

As far as he could tell, Asuka appeared to be suffering from a mental break of some sorts. She was intent on...performing acts...with him, which would violate his marriage, as well as went against the normal nature of the Second Child. Her outfit indicated she had put time into this, which either indicated this was premeditated—which didn't make sense to Shinji—or she was under some sort of control.

Yes! She's under control of an Angel! They are making her sleep with me...because...because...

No idea, but they have to be controlling her.

"Dear, open up, so that I can give you a present," said Asuka in a sing-song voice.

It reminded Shinji of a movie he once saw. Any moment now, she would break through the door with an ax, saying "Here's Johnny!", and proceed to do whatever the Angels had set her to do.

She had nearly succeeded in the living room. Asuka had decided to stop playing with him and rip the boxers off. Doing so, she overestimated the strength she would need, and ended up falling backwards with the torn pair of under shorts, allowing Shinji time to run into his room and lock the door.

"Um...Asuka...you aren't yourself. Don't worry, we'll find a way to fix this."

"Oh, I know how to fix this, Shinji."

"You do!" Great, she is fighting back!

"I just need to take you for hours, until we fall exhausted to the bed, as we bask in the afterglow of the great sex we'll have had."

Shit!

He needed to relax and come up with a plan. He considered jumping out the window, but they were too high up for him to survive.

That's Plan B then.

Well, he had a lock on his door, and the place had been made to hold back a small army. He should be safe from one possessed German girl.

Of course, he ran for the window when he heard the one part he had forgotten.

The keys to the rooms were hanging outside of the room.

Too late, Shinji realized that his window was too small to let him out.

"I'll get you for this, God. I'll kill every Angel I see, make certain Unit 01 steps on any church I find. I will have payback. This I swear."

"Hello, Lover Boy!"

"EEP!"

If you listen quietly, every time a bell rings, God is laughing at someone.

Right now, his TV was focused on one poor boy, which was slowly turning to see a redheaded demon standing in his doorway, twirling a set of keys in one hand, with a pair of handcuffs in the other. "Look what Misato left in the open. My, I wonder what we could do with these? Has my Shinji been a bad, bad, boy?"

Many bells began ringing.

Rei entered in yet another command as she switched to yet another umbilical cable. This is tiresome.

Already, she had made it near the apartment. Sure, she had accidentally crushed three cars, a VTOL, an ice cream van—It never let me sleep late—a person walking a dog—That will teach them to relieve themselves on my doorstep—and several stop lights.

Well, lucky she never had to pay for repairs. After all, she was on a mission to rescue her husband and fellow pilot.

From what? Well...that would be something for the publicists to figure out to make NERV look better. That busload of nuns should have known better. The Angels are not swayed by anyone singing Kumbaya.

As she approached the apartment, another thought hit her. How will I stop Pilot Souryu?

She was currently inside the building, while Rei was stuck inside Unit 00. So...how was she going to stop Pilot Souryu from having her way with Shinji?

Rei smiled the same smile that had made two members of Section 2 piss themselves.

Asuka had once again resumed her position on top of Shinji, staring into his eyes. "Now, Lover Boy, I will show you how it's really done." Yes, I will win!

"Um...Asuka...someone's watching from the window." His eyes were wide, unable to believe what he was seeing."

"Baka," she said in her same sweet tone she had been using, refusing to risk her usual berating tone on him until he was her love slave, "we are on the tenth floor. No one can see...in...our...um." She had slowly turned towards the window, having already grabbed Shinji's hands to place them onto her breasts.

She was now seeing the face of Unit 00. Its jaw was open, producing a large growl, as its progressive knife was held nearby enough to allow both to be seen from the small window.

"Pilot, Souryu," came the voice of Rei from the external speakers inside her EVA, "please dismount my husband and come outside. I wish to...discuss...your current actions with my husband."

Omake by Shinji the Good Sharer:

Misato shivered as she sat tied naked to the chair. Asuka had a glazed look in her eyes while staring at Misato which naturally would make most women nervous. "R-Rei? Can't we talk about this? I mean it was only a joke right? I don't really want to seduce Shinji when you and Asuka's backs are turned."

As Rei took the needle from Asuka's arm and set it on the table she smiled securing Asuka's strap-on firmly around the nude girl. "I appologize Major, I cannot take that chance with my Anata. This drug I confiscated from the local Yakusa will keep her in a high state of arousal for hours, I suggest you prepare yourself to be turned into a lesbian."

Misato's screams through the night turned from horror to something else. Kaji never got any again.