"I Do"

Chapter 8

Consequences

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I'm a father! I'm a father! I'm a father!

As usual with some people; they hear a suggestion and run with it.

For our proud and often depressed newlywed, Misato's comment was on a marathon run.

I'm a father! I'm a father! I'm a father!

Right now, Shinji had yet to leave the elevator for the floor on which the dignitaries' quarters. Currently, he was in the fetal position, the elevator stopped, rocking himself, trying to come to grips with that possibility.

I'm a father! I'm a father! I'm a father!

You see, Shinji never was one to think ahead of events. He could only think of the failures he could achieve with such events.

I'm a father! I'm a father! I'm a father!

As such, he was thinking of what his biggest possible failure would be.

I'm a father! I'm a father! I'm a father!

It would be ending up like his father, Gendo.

Gendo stared at the screen. Already, he swore he would eliminate all purple dinosaurs.

"But Papa-Smurf always says..."

He would now eliminate every blue creature.

Wait, Rei has blue hair.

Is she a smurf?

If she is, I will have to kill her.

All smurfs must die!

Some would say not much has changed with his...education of children's cartoons and shows.

Rei sat in her chair, eating her soup and salad, trying to decide where she would go next.

Her former home with her husband was ruined because of Asuka's pettiness.

I hate Pilot Souryu.

It feels...freeing.

She needed a new home.

Plus, she needed to decide if she was human. Since an Angel could only sync 100 in theory, by surpassing that, she had proven she was human.

But, she was also based on Shinji's mother.

Did that mean...Shinji was now in an Oedipus relationship?

I will need to consult Dr. Akagi to find out how much of me is Yui Ikari.

She set back to eating, never once considering the fact that she might actually be in the Oedipus Complex.

After all, how many fourteen year old clones worry about being pregnant?

Technician Doe entered the elevator with his sister, Technician Jane Doe. Both were surprised to see the Ikari child in the corner, mumbling.

Jane looked at him. "Should we take him to the infirmary?"

John smiled. "Nah. Look, you can have all sorts of fun with him." He moved closer to Shinji. "Shinji, they need you to pilot again."

The both watched as Shinji "eeked" and started chanting "Mustn't run away!"

Jane lowered her brow. "That was mean, brother."

John just smiled. "Watch this!"

As they stopped on their floor, he leaned over Shinji again. "Pilot Ikari, when we get off this elevator, it will go down a floor and Pilot Souryu will get on. She said she wants to talk to you again."

Shinji stood, began screaming, and ran down the hallway off the elevator, loudly proclaiming the Angels would not use him again.

"BROTHER!" cried out Jane.

John just smirked. "Yes, it was cruel and spiteful." His face got a teasing smirk. "But it was funny, huh?"

Misato was enjoying her steak and fourteenth beer. She had spent the last few hours making up horrific tests to mess with Asuka's mind.

She hadn't had that much fun since her and Ritsuko convinced the head of the self proclaimed Celibacy Club that she had just had a night of wild sex with Misato herself, Ritsuko, and Kaji. Ah, good times...good times.

Her musings were cut short as Shinji ran into the room screaming, and dived under her desk.

"Not gonna let the Angels sleep with me! They'll steal my purity and use it to make super clones that will rip the world apart!"

Well, he wasn't exactly in his right mind to begin with.

But at least he made a reason for the Angels "supposedly" wanting Asuka to sleep with him.

"Shinji?" Misato felt a severe twitch coming on. "Why are you under my desk?"

"Cause Asuka is looking for me so she can steal my seed and release super Angels onto us all!"

Yes, big twitch! "Shinji, you do know that Asuka has been in medical isolation for the last two hours, being tested."

"Um...no."

The twitch worsened. "So you were running around, scared out of your mind, and just let your imagination come up with this ridiculous reason."

"Um...well...when you put it like that..."

Misato was about to start yelling when she realized the situation Shinji was in.

She had worn a skirt to work today.

A short...skirt. "Shinji, what color are my panties?"

"They are...ACK!"

Shinji tried to jump and run.

But he was under a desk...a large wooden desk with a marble counter top.

The desk jumped a little, almost spilling Misato's beer. She pulled back her chair and looked as Shinji slumped to the floor, his breathing still steady, indicating he had merely knocked himself out.

Misato just smiled and returned to her desk, resuming her consumption of the steak. "Still got it, but too easy."

As Rei made her way down to the medical ward to stand by her husband as he had a CAT scan done to ensure his accident had not caused any brain damage, she tried to reflect on what she had heard from him while talking to Misato on the phone. She could make out him talking about being a lousy father, being used by the Angels to create the Four Horsemen, and something was so purple.

When she asked Misato about those comments, she said she would explain the first two when she got to Medical.

The purple thing...Misato said she had no idea.

The Temporary Commander is lying.

But, she had other things to worry about.

She had yet to decide how to tell Shinji that she was essentially an altered clone of the Second Angel: Lilith. Add to that, a small amount of her DNA was that of Yui Ikari. I will need to assess with Dr. Akagi to make certain Anata and I are not siblings or cousins.

As she entered, she caught a target she still had yet to slake her thirst for anger on.

Asuka was strapped down on her medical bed, several IVs running into her. She looked half dazed, had multiple bandages over her body where they had been forced to either inject something or withdrawal something for a test.

And as she caught sight of the First Child, her anger rose...as did her fear.

As Rei approached, a new feeling grew within her. The anger was still there, but seeing Pilot Souryu helpless and unattended, she felt...mischievous.

"Pilot Souryu, I have come to assist you."

"MRPHF!" Asuka was still gagged. Not exactly for a medical reason, but the staff had just gotten so tired of hearing her cry out.

Nobody questioned exactly why Technician Lieutenant Kasumi Ono had a ball gag in her locker at work.

No one wanted to know why Technician Lieutenant Kasumi Ono had a ball gag in her locker at work.

"I will not allow the Angel that possesses you to consume you while you suffer." She moved over to the defibrillator, setting the charge for maximum, as she moved the paddles towards Asuka.

The redhead's eyes grew as wide as possible, as her body frantically tried to seek escape and her voice tried to draw attention to the obviously psychotic First Child. Part of her mind also saw this as vindication for trying to "rescue" Shinji from Rei.

Another, larger, part was saying that Kaji would pay for his failure.

"Do not worry, Pilot Souryu," said Rei, maintaining her monotone voice, as the now fully charged paddles neared Asuka's body, "Anata will know that you fought the Angel to your last."

Asuka's eyes rolled back into her head, as the fear finally drove her unconscious.

Rei blinked, replacing the paddles and shutting off the defibrillator. "It is no fun if she passes out. But that did feel...good."

Smiling, she left the Pilot's room. After all, she still had to check on her husband, and determine what the purple thing was that he had been mumbling about.

As the group arrived at school the next day, a few new changes had taken place.

The teacher now had a small liquor cabinet in his classroom, complete with mini-fridge. His gun was oiled, and he was ready for anything now.

Kensuke looked around, but not finding Asuka arriving, decided to keep quiet about the unscheduled walk of Unit 00, as he did not need a second female pilot mad at him.

Toji and Hikari were standing together, chatting, not yet aware that Rei had already put in a request for them to also receive a marriage certificate.

Or that said certificate had arrived at the Class Rep's home, had been found by her father, and that he was currently loading up his shotgun.

As class began, the teacher began to call out the roll, not surprised the Rei's last name was now Ikari. "Souryu, Asuka?" He looked around, before turning his attention to Shinji, who was supposed to live with the bane of his existence.

Shinji gulped, not wanting to talk, as he might reveal the reason he had thought was why she had been after him.

Rei decided to speak first, and promised to make a mental note to discuss tact with her husband. "Pilot Souryu is currently under full observation for possible Angel contamination. She made inappropriate actions towards my husband, and I was forced to stop her yesterday."

The reactions were mixed.

Kensuke felt his world begin to glow as if he was in heaven. The Red Devil was out of action. For how long? Didn't matter. But he could now request to be dropped from the fake marriage, since his wife was mentally unstable.

After all, he couldn't complete the assignment if she was quarantined.

Hikari just stared lovingly at Toji.

Toji wondered why he just heard a car screech to a stop outside the school, as well as why he was suddenly very afraid for his safety.

The teacher decided that was all the explanation he needed. Yes, it looked like today was a Vodka Day.

"Okay then. Everyone, get with your partner and work on your project."

"Um," said Kensuke, "my partner is crazy and locked up for our safety."

"Fine, go play in traffic. You get an A."

"YES!" screamed Kensuke, as he ran out to find any house of religion and begin to thank whatever deity saved him from the German Bitch.

He didn't notice the guy walking towards his classroom with the shotgun. He had his wish, what did that matter.

Omake by Typhonis:

Misato was about to start yelling when she realized the situation Shinji was in.

She had worn a skirt to work today.

A short...skirt. "Shinji, what color are my panties?"

"They are...ACK!"

Shinji tried to jump and run.

But he was under a desk...a large wooden desk with a marble counter top.

The desk jumped a little, almost spilling Misato's beer. She pulled back her chair and looked as Shinji slumped to the floor, his breathing still steady, indicating he had merely knocked himself out. Though why he had a nosebleed was a puzzle to her. Then she realized why: she had forgotten to wear panties today.

Misato just smiled and returned to her desk, resuming her consumption of the steak. "Still got it, but too easy."

Omake by Shadowbakasama:

Kagi had been doing research on Saotome Ranma to determine the secrets to his fighting prowess. (Actually he's looking for the secrets to Ranma's ability to attract beautiful girls.) During his talks with the boy's father, Saotome Genma, he learned of many training techniques to increase one's abilities in martial arts. (And that there are gullible fathers out there who will set up their daughters with a handsome boy if you don't ask for too much dowry.) So now Kagi had a plan, he had acquired the training manual for an Ultimate Fighting Technique that didn't require that much training to learn. (And he had heard of a beautiful, athletic, aristocratic young girl with a moron for a father.)

Thus after acquiring some Hawaiian tourist gear and a trip to Furinkan High School, he was all set up to marry into money. Then a trip to a pet store and a fish market was all that he needed to get the supplies for the advanced training for Pilot Ikari Shinji.

Talking Gendo into having Shinji learn an Ultimate Technique to fight Angels with was easy, once the DVD player was turned off and he quit ranting about killing of all purple lizards and blue dwarves, after all Gendo was concerned about using his son to kill Angel. It didn't matter to him that you might have to drive him insane to do it.

Convincing Rei that she couldn't accompany Shinji during his advanced training was harder, but they needed her in Tokyo-3 incase an Angel appeared.

Of course Kagi is much smarter than Genma, and had read the entire manual, he did take some precautions: One, if Shinji was scarred or didn't survive the training there would be an investigation and he would take the fall, so Shinji was equipped with protective gear, including a face mask and a cup in addition to heavy clothing and a hood. Two, if Shinji told Rei about the training, well the less said the better. Luckily he had heard of a memory erasure technique while in Nerima and hired an old crone to use the technique on Shinji after the training.

The training itself went much faster than Kagi had expected from talking with Mr. Saotome, it only took two days (I suppose that Shinji at 14-years-old has a much weaker will than Ranma did at 10.) and after a herbal shampoo and rinse he was ready to go back to Tokyo-3.

Later...

This Angel was too fast and agile for the EVAs to pin down with gunfire or engage in melee combat. It was all the EVAs could do to keep the Angel from separating them long enough to put an EVA out of action.

"Commander, I believe it is time to use the Neko-Ken Protocols." Kagi suggested.

"Yes, Kagi-san, you may be right." Gendo replied from his wheelchair. "Luckily the Angel hasn't entered the city."

Gendo picks up the mike to talk with the EVAs. "Pilots Ayanami and Souryu, you will need to protect EVA 01 while we activate a special combat system. We will have to cut off communication to EVA 01 and lock it's systems for a hopefully short period of time. Carry on."

Gendo then turns to Dr. Akagi. "Lock out the motion systems of Unit 01 and begin playing the feline hologram into the cockpit."

Shinji was in a panic, they had locked out his controls, and then he heard a noise in the cockpit. "Merrow." His heart sped up and he fought the restraints to get loose, then he saw them, they were thin and scrawny as if starved, their hair was matted down and filthy, their teeth and claws shined silver and red in the limited light, and then their evil glowing eyes all locked onto him. They lined up around him and crouched down... then they pounced and all went black.

"Sir, Pilot Ikari is panicking, his heart rate has doubled and his brainwave patterns have become erratic." Dr. Akagi exclaims. "Whoa. ... He seems OK now, but his brainwaves seem off."

"Don't worry Doctor, this is expected." Kagi says to reassure her. "I think he's in the correct mindset now Commander."

"Yes, Dr. Akagi, release the lockouts on Unit 01." Gendo commands as he picks up the mike again. "Units 00 and 02, back off and let Unit 01 deal with the Angel, do not make any moves that Unit 01 could perceive as threatening."

Rei was concerned; they were sending her Anata against this Angel without backup. She and Asuka were already arguing with the Major over the radio when she saw Unit 01 walk past her on all fours with a grace she had never seen before in an EVA, not even the footage of the berserk Unit 01 moved this smoothly.

The cat saw two figures in front of him, facing the evil that had invaded his territory. They belonged here; the enemy did not, so he walked past them to face the intruder. He arched his back and yowled at it to scare it away, but it threw something at him, it was like a beam of too hot sunlight, but it was easy to predict the throw, so he rolled to the side and charged.

The enemy was unready and fell underneath his claws; he knocked it onto its back and dug for its 'life'. He clawed into the enemy's chest and cut the ball that was its 'life' into pieces with his sharp claws.

"Commander! Unit 01 just jumped the Angel and used it's AT field to tear open its chest and destroy the core!" Misato cried in triumph.

"Dr. Akagi, lock-out Unit 01's controls again and release a sedative into Pilot Ikari."

At the debriefing Shinji didn't recall how he had destroyed the Angel, and said that he hadn't ever practiced making the EVA walk on all fours and had no idea how to focus an AT field into a cutting weapon.

Afterwards Rei sought out Commander Ikari for some answers. She had hacked into the bridge logs and heard some things she wanted explained.

"So Gendo, why was my husband acting like a cat?"

In another part of Tokyo, Kagi was meeting his gorgeous wife-to-be at a large estate.

After being shown in by a vertically challenged ninja, he waited to see the girl for the first time. He had seen pictures; she was very attractive and had a thing for black roses from what he had heard.

The he saw her, she was wearing a tight black dress that showed off her cleavage and legs very well, and she had her black hair in a ponytail from the side of her head. She approached him with a bouquet of black roses and looked him over.

"Well hello there Kodachi-chan, I know this is a surprise, but when I saw your beauty and poise/"

"Hmm yes, you'll do." Kodachi said interrupting him. "Here, I picked these flowers for you."

Sniffing the black roses turned out to be a mistake, as they released a cloud of dust in his face and he discovered that he couldn't move.

"Father, did you bring the priest that I asked for?" She said while lowering him to the couch.

"Yes, yes, I got him right here kiekie." Kagi heard from behind him.

The ceremony went very fast with her holding each cup of saki to his lips for him to drink, and then she and her father signed the marriage license, and she used a pen in his hand to forge his own signature by skillfully moving his frozen hand. Then the priest signed the documents and departed with them to have them filed the next day.

"Well Anata, now that we are gloriously wed, it's time for us to retire to my room so that you can perform your husbandly duties." The deranged girl said while putting him over her shoulder and carrying him off. "I've acquired some special herbs and mushrooms to make things go easier. I believe you are familiar with my source, an Amazon Elder by the name of Cologne. Why she even mentioned that we would make an excellent couple, something about both of us having nary a scruple between us. OH HO HO HO HO!"

Omake by Lord Raa:

Misato took a deep breath as she prepared herself for the Commander's briefing.

"Sir?" she asked after knocking on the door.

"Enter," the hoarse voice ordered.

Misato opened the door and saluted.

"Commander, this is the latest development with the pilot," the captain started. She looked up when she heard a gurgling sound. "Sir?"

"Purple… so cute …yet so evil… must destroy all purple …" Gendo said in a crazy tone as he twitched violently.

"Sir?" Misato leaned in.

"ARGH! Purple overload!" Gendo screamed as his heart rate skyrocketed.

When Misato reached over to shake the bearded man out of his delirious state, he passed out.

"Hmm, perhaps now would not be a good time to mention that Asuka is having some kind of mental breakdown," the acting commander mused.