A.N.: WOW! It took me two months to muster up the courage to upload this…
A relatively big chapter, which might compensate the long wait…
Sorry if it doesn't…
(BRIEF) JAPANESE DICTIONARY FOR THIS CHAPTER
Sensei - teacher, writer or doctor; usually refers to a professional. It means doctor in this situation.
THE WAY YOU ARE IS FINE ENOUGH
CHAPTER 8 – SERIOUS SOMETHING
Suoh and Akira sighed. Two days had already passed since they'd dropped Nokoru at home for the last time; it had rained like crazy that entire night, starting as soon as the blonde had entered his home… It was almost like the heavens were waiting for him to be safe inside the sanctuary of his mansion before letting any water drop.
At that time, the Takamura ninja had felt a very strong omen, but he had no idea what could be wrong. Unlike what many would do, he did not brush away the feeling, but decided to remain on heavy guard while the bad warning lasted.
That had been a couple of days before, and since then there was no sign of the Imonoyama boy - not in classes, not in the student council - and at his house no one would say a word about it except for the fact that he was fine, but wasn't able to come to school for some time. It wasn't just Suoh and Akira, everyone was worried: the teachers, his classmates, the Dunklyon team, the members of the other student councils, but no one knew what had happened to him this time.
On the third day since they had last seen him, the Elementary School Student Council Secretary and Treasurer entered the big room to find it heartbreakingly empty. Sighing, both walked to their desks. As they worked, only silence involved them while the worried duo tried to concentrate on their respective tasks, praying that their President would walk through the doors anytime with that cheerful smile he always held.
But no matter how much they waited and prayed, Nokoru simply did not show up neither at his classes nor at the Student Council Room, completing three days since they last saw him.
Both boys seemed about to break down; the atmosphere was just too heavy around them, as if they were ignoring something important.
On the fourth day, however, rumors were spreading fast, and soon enough they reached both the Z classes of fourth and fifth grade, into Akira's and Suoh's ears.
"Nokoru-sama came this morning!"
"Did you hear, did you hear? It seems like the Imonoyama kid is back!"
"I wonder what made him absent for three days in the first place? He isn't one to miss classes…"
"Nokoru-sama is here!"
"Imonoyama-kaichou has returned! I was so worried!"
"Ne (Hey), is he OK? What happened?"
"It seems like he's alright… the other kids said he seemed normal and perfectly fine."
"I wonder what happened?"
"Nokoru-sama…"
"Imonoyama-san…"
"Imonoyama-kaichou…"
The comments seemed to turn into a lot of fused whispers to Akira's and Suoh's ears as each of them sat in their respective classrooms, putting in all their efforts to pay attention to their lessons, the anxiousness in their stomachs so great, it was starting to hurt; they could only think of running to the Student Council Room and find out that their President was there.
It seemed to them like and eternity before the bell finally rang and gave them the necessary permission to head off. Running as fast as possible in crowded halls, they met by chance halfway there, quickly acknowledging the other had also heard the news, and, with their pulses at high pumping, the Secretary and the Treasurer opened the big doors together with hopeful hearts…
Stepping in, they could almost hear their own hearts breaking into a million pieces when their eyes landed on the empty room again: no sign of the blonde anywhere. With sighs, both silently encouraged themselves to go through another boring day of paperwork, when a loud commotion was heard just outside the large doors.
"Nokoru-sama!"
"Nokoru-sama!"
Nokoru Imonoyama's fangirls.
That's all that was registered before the Secretary and the Treasurer heard a low reassuring voice and before they could notice anything more, their President was standing before them, body leaning against the hastily closed wooden doors, a bit of sweat on his forehead as his eyes closed in attempt to concentrate on reestablishing the labored breathing.
"Will I really have to go through all of this every time I miss a few days?" He questioned himself aloud. Just then, when opening the beautiful blue irises, he came face-to-face with his two kouhais. "Uh-oh," he thought mentally, "Suoh's not gonna be happy that I'm late."
Raising his hands, the blonde was about to make an excuse, when the blue-haired boy and the dark-haired one, having just recovered from the shock, ran up to him, the former bringing up the question Nokoru least wanted to hear at the moment.
"Kaichou, what happened to you? Why didn't you come?"
Smiling mysteriously, the blonde simply raised his ever-trusty fan to hide his expression and walked over to his desk as he smoothly replied, "Nothing, Suoh, nothing that'll require our attention."
There was his kaichou evading the Secretary's questions again. Suoh knew well enough to realize that something had definitely happened to the older boy, and also to quickly notice that it wasn't time to press on the fact yet, so the ninja just let it slip… for the moment.
As soon as the President sat on his big armchair, the three members of the Elementary School Student Council of the CLAMP Campus started working again, as if nothing had ever happened.
Three weeks after the blonde's last disappearance, Suoh still hadn't been able to find out what happened, and it was starting to affect the ninja. It was his job, after all, as a Takamura to protect his one, but more than that, it was his duty as a friend to be worried about Nokoru. The blue-haired boy just knew that something serious had happened, something important, the night when he and Akira had dropped the older student at the Imonoyama estate and it suddenly started to rain hard. Whatever that something was, it had been enough to make someone like Nokoru, who never skipped classes, actually skip them for four days straight.
It was painfully obvious to Suoh that something was up, but it was very frustrating that up to that point he was yet to find a clue that could lead him to an answer.
And he gave a low grunt because of it.
"What's wrong, Takamura-senpai?" Akira asked beside the 5th-grader.
"Uh, oh, it's…" Suoh started, unsure if it would be right to tell his fellow member of his thought on the matter, but quickly made up his mind. "Well, Ijyuuin, I know you're aware of this, so that's why I'm telling you," the blue-haired boy started as he stared at the long wooden doors through which their President had just walked through order to give another of his busy lectures to the University Students of Physics of CLAMP Campus. "I think you've noticed it, kaichou's been weirdly down, although it's almost impossible to tell with his cheery façade: he's actually working once-in-a-while, and you know he usually only does that on rare occasions, and he's always out earlier than he should, as if he has to go somewhere everyday."
"Yes, I've noticed, Takamura-senpai," the smaller boy confirmed truthfully. Yes, he had noticed too, after all, he too had been with them for a few years already. Akira would have been a fool if he hadn't picked up some of the commons and uncommons of his two respected senpais. "It's weird, yes, but what's even weirder is that a lot of things have been happening all at once around him these past few months, remember? First kaichou looked terrible when he fell that day before being kidnapped by NASA - he even fainted, and we had barely ran a bit! Then he is kidnapped and beat up, but we managed to rescue him and bring him to a Hospital. He took weeks to wake up and when he did, he had amnesia; thank goodness that was gone fast!" The black-haired boy commented, looking extremely relieved when the last few words were pronounced.
"Yes, I recall all that," Suoh confirmed interrupting. "How could I forget?"
"Indeed, how? But kaichou took a few days more before returning to the school, and we still don't know why. When he did come back, he actually worked like crazy to finish all documents. Of course, it took him some days to get everything done, and the day after we were back to the normal neglecting. Then all of a sudden, three months later, kaichou becomes incredibly interested in doing the paperwork, but the following day he stops coming to school for a reason we are yet to find out. When he comes back, it seems like he's normal, but we both know otherwise - we've been around him long enough to not be fooled by him that easily."
Nodding once again to his kouhai, Suoh silently noticed that Akira was not that naïve; he did pay attention to facts around him, even if he didn't let anyone else know.
The other continued, "Still, almost a month has gone by since then and we haven't found out why he's so down yet, even though no one else but us notices this fact. Whatever it is, if it's bothering kaichou up to now, it's something serious. I've been thinking about it lately, about all of this, and I think, although I don't know how, that all of these facts are somehow connected." The smaller boy concluded his thinking and looked at the blue-haired boy beside him for an answer.
Suoh promptly replied, "I know, and I don't think this has got anything to do with the Dunklyon Team either. I checked - they haven't had any missions since their choukan was kidnapped by the NASA officers," he explained, "I think we've got to find out what's going on with him before things get worse. My instincts tell me that we better help kaichou as soon as possible or it'll be too late."
Turning to the 5th-grader, Akira calmly questioned him. "Takamura-senpai, do you really want my help?"
And to this, Suoh only nodded.
With that simple nod, what the black-haired boy asked the older one next caught the latter by surprise; Akira really was keener than the Secretary gave him credit for.
"Then stop hiding things from me and tell me what you found out, Takamura-senpai. I know you've been researching about kaichou lately too, but I kept quiet until this moment because it really isn't in my place to be curious about it. The situation now, however, has changed: kaichou's in trouble somehow and we both know it, so if we want to help him, the more the both of us know, the better it will be for us to figure it out what to do and how to act."
Silence invaded the room as its two occupants stared firmly at each other, one with determination and the other in awe. Of course, sooner or later, Suoh would come out of his stupor, and when he did, the 5th-grader already knew that the best thing he could do was tell the younger boy of what little he'd already found out about the blonde's health background, which was basically all the ninja had researched anyway.
Suoh had just finished his explanation when the Kindergarten Student Council President and Treasurer walked in, a look of concern clear on their pretty faces. Surprised, the two boys were caught off-guard, but before they could recover to greet the girls properly, the small black-haired kindergartener asked them a question, cutting off all ethical procedures.
"Do you know what's wrong with Imonoyama-kaichou?"
The two older students couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. Had she noticed it too?
"Why?" The ninja asked suspiciously, the look on his face wasn't exactly of pure joy and the girl couldn't help but cringe.
"Well," she started, but her voice trailed off.
At that point, Nagisa stepped forward - knowing she had a much better relationship with the 5th-grader than her president - still a bit intimidated by the menacing expression on her crush's face, but not that scared as to back down from it. "Because we just saw him down the corridor and he looked uncharacteristically spaced out. We had to call him three times to get his attention and by then we were shouting and he had already passed us. Of course, the moment he came back to this world and realized he'd just ignored two girls, your President was immediately on one of his knees and apologizing profusely to us."
"Yes," continued Utako, now a little more encouraged as Suoh's expression had considerably softened, "he reached out and brought the back of Nagisa-chan's hand towards his lips and kissed it. When he did that to mine, however, my attention was caught by something cream-colored surrounding his right wrist, the hand that held ours when he kissed them. When I realized it was bandaged, I questioned him and Imonoyama-kaichou suddenly smiled and said it was nothing, but I'm quite used to his happy smiles and I assure you, that one was a fake. Something's most definitely wrong." She finished.
Akira had to agree with his secret girlfriend, and he was inwardly proud she'd noticed it too, but before he could say anything, the other boy suddenly sprinted past the three younger students and ran through the wooden doors in a flash, leaving behind his shocked kouhais, but they promptly ran after him.
Of course, if he had gone far they would never catch up to the trained Takamura, but the ninja's goal was close enough, so the three were able to see him again pretty soon, almost at the end of the long corridor. Akira, Utako and Nagisa stopped a few feet behind the blue-haired boy to regain their breath while closing their eyes; when they opened them, however, the three saw something none had expected: Suoh was holding Nokoru's shoulders very firmly, and by the looks on the blonde's face, very painfully too as the 5th-grader's fingers dug into his skin and the amber eyes seemed to pierce right through him, the expression on the ninja's eyes none too happy.
"W-What seems to be the problem… Suoh?" The 6th-grader asked innocently, an obviously false smile on his features.
The martial arts master didn't answer, he just stood there with the scowl on his face. When Suoh did move, his hands rapidly moved from Nokoru's shoulder blades to both his wrists, raising them in the air at about the same height as the blue-haired boy's forehead, clearly revealing the blonde's heavily bandaged wrists.
A muffled whisper was heard from Suoh's lips. "Not just one, but both, kaichou," he started, and then his voice raised enough to become a shout. "Can you tell me what the hell's the meaning of this!" He barked, startling the older student and the three younger ones.
"I fell and hurt myself the other day, that's about it. Stop making such a big deal out of this, Suoh!" Nokoru replied calmly, to which the blue-haired boy could only gape back.
"That's a lie and you and I know it. No matter what, you won't tell us what's going on? I know what these mean, kaichou," Suoh answered, shaking the arms in his hold a bit to emphasize his last words, "I just don't know why they are here. Won't you tell me?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," replied the President as his eyes darted away.
Sighing, the 5th-grader let go of his senpai and told him to hurry; after all, the blonde still had a lecture to give. When the older boy was out of sight, the ninja turned back to face his kouhais and was taken back by their startled expressions.
"Sorry, I guess that was uncalled for," Suoh said, "but this is getting me beyond my limits. Kaichou told us before exiting the Student Council office that he wasn't coming back today after the lecture because he has some urgent business to deal with. I think he's actually going to wherever he's been running off to lately, so I propose we follow him and find some clues that could answer his weird behavior."
"Like a stealth mission? Isn't that a bit too low, Takamura-senpai?" Akira asked.
"It is, and normally I wouldn't resort to this, but I see no other opportunities to help kaichou unless we find out what's wrong with him, and since he obviously won't tell us, we'll have to find out by ourselves. So yes, it would be some sort of stealth mission, Ijyuuin." The ninja answered.
The two girls, hearing the conversation, looked at each other and nodded before Utako took a step forward to voice their request. "Can we please come too? We're awfully worried about him," she asked - her head up with pride, but eyes down in submission.
"Of course, just keep quiet," was the older of the three's answer.
The four younger students had patiently waited outside the large auditorium for two hours and a half before the blonde's lecture was over. When it finished, the small group hid behind the long red curtains that separated the main lobby from a smaller room, but almost as big, until Nokoru finally walked passed them. Silently, Akira, Suoh, Nagisa and Utako followed the 6th-grader, always careful to keep a safe distance between the boy and themselves.
The first thing that caught their attention was the fact that the Elementary School Student Council President was going to a hospital. When he'd fainted after running too much and thoroughly refused being taken to one the two boys had thought their President hated Hospitals and would avoid said place with all his might. At that moment, however, the blonde was walking through the doors of such an establishment as if it was the most normal thing in the world, as if he were actually entering his home.
"Pretty weird," was the thought ringing through both their heads, but they silently followed him into the hospital anyway.
When the group entered, they barely got a glimpse of the blonde turning around a corner and a medium-height woman after him, long black hair in an enormous braid that trailed behind her.
They tried to go after, but the receptionist clearly told them the area was off-limits to anyone who wasn't either staff, patient or authorized, giving them an obvious hint that she knew they definitely weren't any of the cases. None of the four, of course, were satisfied by such an answer, so they quickly devised a plan to get through unseen, and since the lobby was relatively full of people waiting anxiously for either friends or family, Suoh, Akira, Nagisa and Utako actually managed to enter the restricted area unnoticed without any problems.
Once through, they hid behind a corner, avoiding a group of three doctors that were just passing by the moment the four entered. As soon as the coast was clear, the small group of students silently searched around the many white rooms, avoiding being seen as they looked for the blond President.
When they were about to give up after searching halls and rooms of all sorts for about ten minutes, effectively getting lost in the process, a familiar voice was heard in a whisper.
"Thank you, Suzumura-san. I'm sorry for troubling you nearly everyday. I know changing these bandages of mine all the time must be a pretty dull job."
They gasped almost inaudibly upon realizing it was Nokoru's voice and hid behind another corner.
A sigh was heard and they guessed it was from the long-haired woman seen earlier with the blonde, Suzumura, as he had called her.
"Nokoru-san, for how long do you plan to be like this?" She asked. When nothing but silence greeted her, the kind nurse continued. "Please, don't do this again. It's the third time you've attempted it already and we've had a tough scare each and every occasion you did. Please, stop or you might not be as lucky as the three previous times! The amount of blood you lost this time was nearly fatal - had they not found you in time, you would have been dead."
"In other words, you're saying I can't even do that right - that if I try again, I'll be saved once more just so others can throw my uselessness back at me, right?" The boy asked.
A sharp intake of breath indicated the woman had been offended by such a statement, and that was the first time any of the four had ever seen or heard of Imonoyama Nokoru offending anyone directly, worse off, a lady none-the-less.
"Of course that's not what I mean, Nokoru-san! I've been treating you alongside Saiyonji-sensei ever since you were born! You know, or at least you should, that both she and I care deeply for you, and it hurts us to see how much you're straining yourself, how much you're denying yourself! Please, if ever the burden gets too much again, talk to us, or to whomever makes you feel comfortable enough with, just don't scare us like this again!" She cried out; the others could tell by the sound of her voice that she was on the brink of tears.
"Of course, I'll make sure I succeed next time," was the blonde's bitter reply. It drove chills in Suoh, Akira, Nagisa and Utako to hear the Elementary School Student Council President speak with such a tone of voice; his had always been so friendly and cheerful. This was definitely a new side of him they were witnessing, and certainly few were the people that knew about this other personality of his.
Except for Suoh, the other three were still not sure of what exactly had the blonde done that the nurse was telling him not to do again, but it seemed serious enough for her to effectively start crying and pleading to him. "Please, don't," she begged, the boy's hands held in hers. "Please."
Then only silence played there, the air tense around the hall. Suoh mentally noticed no one came by that area, so he guessed they were probably in the part of the Hospital that was restricted to Nokoru. His thoughts were broken by the nurse's speech, somewhat confirming the ninja's suspicions.
"This part of the Hospital was reserved for you only, Nokoru-san, and while that can seem to be a privilege for many, to you it seems like a burden, because I know you hate coming here, even though half of your life was probably spent in this place. Saiyonji-sensei and I really wish we could undo this fact, but there's no changing the past, Nokoru-san. We can only pray you stop hurting yourself to this extent, after all, the only reason why this part of the Hospital is yours is because you keep coming here - each time with a new problem more serious than the last - and though you're usually at no fault for that, most of our worst scares were thoroughly caused by you," she stated calmly. There was no accusing tone in her voice; everything was said swiftly and cautiously as the nurse held her patient's hands in hers, his gaze locked by hers.
With a sigh, Nokoru replied in a low whisper, "I know, and I'm really sorry for that, Suzumura-san. You and Saiyonji-sensei have been wonderful to me since the first day I can remember of my life, but this is all building up too much against me, to a point I can't even think clearly any longer."
"Would you at least tell me what caused it this time? I know you must have been feeling quite down to have done this, though you are usually very controlled, Nokoru-san," she asked. When he didn't answer anything, she tried guessing. "Was it Takamura-kun and Ijyuuin-kun?" The nurse asked, and instantly knew she'd hit the bull's-eye by the way her patient flinched.
At the mention of their names, the two hidden boys looked surprised at each other and then realized the two girls were looking at them questioningly, almost accusingly, but all Akira and Suoh could do was shrug; neither of the knew what they could have done to their President, especially if they were always on the lookout for his safety and well-being. The blonde's late response, which was followed by a sigh, only made the four's curiosity strengthen.
"You can truly read me like a book, can't you, Suzumura-san?"
"Well, it wasn't that hard to guess, Nokoru-san, as they're the only reason capable of driving you that sad and into despair that great," she answered. "Now, tell me, what happened?"
Nokoru sighed yet again, taking a moment before he explained as less detailed as possible. "Not much, really. It was just a comment Suoh made that day, and then he and Akira ganged up on me as they asked about whom I liked. I know they were just playing around, trying to get back at me for a comment I'd made to each of them regarding their loved ones, but it seems they got really embarrassed. Even though I knew back then and now that they didn't really mean everything they said - though the effects were indirect - it just hurt so much that all I could think about was doing something to block the emotional pain. At first I did it by finishing my papers, and I must say my Secretary was very pleased at that," the blonde said, smiling at this point as the memory played in his mind, "but all along, all I was doing was building up sadness inside me. I don't know, I think it just got too much when I was left alone yet again. My bedroom walls and I, sounds like a good name for a poem, doesn't it?" Nokoru explained, ending the speech with a sarcastic question, and suddenly, he cried.
It took all of Suoh and Akira to keep themselves in their spot, from not going to aid their kaichou as the latter cried his heart out. As the tears escaped the beautiful blue eyes, the blonde's knees seemed to weaken and he fell down on them. The nurse quickly kneeled beside him and took the boy's whimpering body in her arms, bringing his head to rest on her chest as he cried out.
"I can't hold on like this much longer," he whispered, the words almost completely muffled between sobs, but still clear enough for the hidden students to hear, "if this keeps up, you'll have more to worry about me than just my physical heart problems. I can feel it, if nothing changes soon, I'll probably succeed next time."
Whatever thought passed through the woman's head triggered by those words, it surely wasn't good, clearly illustrated by the fact that she only cradled his head tighter to her chest.
"No, please, don't," she pleaded. "Don't let this loneliness beat you, Nokoru-san, I know you don't want anyone near you, I know why too, but you can't let these feelings control you, it's just too great a risk!"
"Then there's no problem, is there? I'm always at risk, no matter where I go. That's why I can never have anyone too close to me and you know it, even if I've already let you and Saiyonji-sensei closer than I should. I made exceptions for Suoh and Akira because I just can't bring myself to repel them, there's something that keeps nagging at me to stay with them, I think it's called friendship, or, at least, that's what I'd like to believe," the blonde started.
In the brief pause between Nokoru's spoken words and the next, the ninja remembered about the first time he'd talked to his President, when the blonde had first been kidnapped once the Takamura boy had entered the older student's life. At that time, the woman who was in command of taking Nokoru to NASA had stated twice the fact that the Imonoyama kid was always alone, never allowing anyone near him in order to not let anyone be hurt because of him. As Suoh combined those words with the present situation, the 5th-grader cursed himself for forgetting that.
"I don't blame Suoh or Akira responsible for any of this, in fact, it's all my fault for letting them become close enough to begin with, but, that day, it hurt so much! Really, I only play with the fact that they like someone because I'm very happy for them. It's not out of envy, as people have accused it to be, and it's not out of sulking either. I'm really happy that they have a chance to have something people consider normal. Maybe because I can never allow myself the chance, I don't understand such feelings and ended up toying with something that's not my concern to begin with. I've grown so used to their company that I can no longer think myself without it, but maybe I was better off before - without anyone - that way I would never have involved them in all of this," the blonde trailed off, but even if he had continued, there would have undoubtedly been an interruption: a shout was heard coming from behind him as soon as the last words escaped his lips.
"No!" Suoh shouted, coming out of his hiding place and startling Nokoru and Suzumura-sensei as both whirled around in unison to look at the intruder.
The Imonoyama heir, still on the ground and in his nurse's embrace, stared in shock at the blue-haired boy, eyes widening even more as he watched Akira and the two girls come out, reluctantly, from behind the corner, but never going beyond the Takamura heir's back.
And time seemed to freeze there and then.
END of CHAPTER 8 – SERIOUS SOMETHING
A.N.: God, that was long, my shoulders are stiff! Well, tell me what you think of it - Did the chapter come out OK? I put a whole lot of effort on it so I hope it's all right.
Does anyone know what happened to Nokoru?
If not, we'll have a confession next chapter, so worry not! But you might have to worry about waiting if this rhythm keeps up… .
As usual: comments, criticisms, mistakes, observations and all that stuff, please leave a review. I work hard on these chapters and feedback is always appreciated!
Syaoran-Lover KaiLi signing out!