"I Do"
Chapter 9
Best Laid Plans
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Shinji and Rei were walking home. School had been cancelled after Hikari's father had shown up with a shotgun, demanding to know what Toji had done to his innocent girl to warrant the need to marry in secret.
Oh, Shinji had an idea what would have led to that.
It was most likely the act of the girl currently hanging off his arm.
Yes, Shinji was in a new spiral of self-doubt, pity, sadness, depression, and anxiety. Currently, it was not caused by the usually self-confident friend: Toji, pissing himself at the enraged father, nor was it because the teacher had shot said father with a tranquilizer gun meant for pandas.
No, it was because he needed to talk to his wife. "Um, Rei...about our marriage..."
"Yes, Anata? Is it displeasing in some way?"
"No-no-no-no! I mean, um...well...I am worried about something."
Rei blinked. "What worries you?"
"Well...I...I'm just worried that if we're not careful, we might become parents before we're ready."
Rei stared for a moment, before entering silent contemplation. Anata is not ready to be a father, which is understandable, as he had no positive role models to build any idea of how to be one. On further thought, I have no idea how or what would be required of me as a mother.
This is...disconcerting. Anata and I are too ill-prepared to be parents. And with the Angels still attacking, we can ill afford me to be incapacitated due to pregnancy. I will need to contact Dr. Akagi for further information.
"Anata, we will discus possible precautions with Dr. Akagi. With our current employment, it would be ill advised for Unit 00 to be out of function."
Shinji sighed, but still was worried. "Um, Rei, what about what we've done so far?"
Rei's eyes opened to their farthest. She had not counted on that fact. Grabbing Shinji's hand, she changed their destination towards NERV. "Then we should not delay this meeting any further."
Shinji was currently debating about whether or not this was a moment to panic.
Well, that was externally.
Internally, multiple facets of Shinji were running around what was a mental creation of a control room, screaming.
Fear Shinji was huddled in the corner. "No, not ready to be a dad! The kid will hate me!"
Anger Shinji was punching a wall, a great feat, as he was only a foot tall. "Damn it, this is all the old man's fault!"
Anxiety Shinji was outside the room, too big to fit in the doorway. "WAH! MY LIFE IS OVER! THE SUPER SOLDIER ANGELS WILL KILL MY CHILD AND USE ME TO PRODUCE THE FOUR HORSEMEN!"
The rest of the other representations of Shinji were running around, throwing papers into the air, running in circles, and screaming about the end was near, as a red alert klaxon was wailing.
Calm Shinji, bearing a striking resemblance to Gendo, merely sat at the main controls. With his fingers steeped before him. "This is not a pleasant scenario."
Asuka slowly made her way down the hall in the NERV medical facility. After countless hours with every possible examination possible being done, she now made her way out, before Dr. Akagi could design a new test to try and find "that pesky Angel" inside her.
She swore vengeance against the First Child. Yes, Rei would pay for the pain, suffering, and embarrassment she had suffered in her quest to free Shinji.
And more of that embarrassment was coming as she walked through the facility like she had just lost a rodeo.
"Care Bears, use the Care Bear Stare!"
She paused before the door the sound had come from. "Damn, some kid must really be messed up if they're watching that."
Gendo stared at the screen, watching as the miniature bears faced off against some evil.
Yes, Gendo was slowly going insane. I must prepare. After we kill the Angels, we must prepare for the days these bears try to invade our world.
One can only wonder what the next DVD series will be.
Shivering, Asuka continued along the corridor. First, she would get dressed in her normal clothes after taking a hot, long, bath. Then she would seek out Kaji, and explain to him how much she hated being exposed and confronted like Rei had done to her. He needed to learn she did not tolerate failure.
And then...she would rescue Shinji from the Doll, and he would be so grateful he would pledge his eternal allegiance to her, the best pilot around.
Ritsuko Akagi was tempted to light up another cigarette. Damn Kaji for stealing my stash.
Before her sat the Ikari family, well the two currently sane members. "Well, due to some medical issues, Rei is unable to have children in the short term. But within a few years, I do believe she will be able to have them."
Shinji sighed as he dodged the bullet. The facets in his mind were slowly finding a seat, as the alert was lowered to yellow.
Rei exhaled slowly. She was sterile for the moment, but later... "Dr. Akagi, does my unique nature have something to do with that issue?"
Ritsuko was shocked. "Um...Rei, Shinji does not have the clearance for—"
"It does not matter. I will not keep a secret from him." Seeing Shinji's confused look, she turned to him. "Anata, I have to inform you of something."
Ritsuko sat back, pulling out a moon pie. Sure, they weren't as necessary unless she was...relaxing. But without her stash and the fact her Minuteman was currently under heavy plaster, she might as well relax with a good live action soap opera.
"Anata, I am not completely human."
Shinji blinked. Was Rei a warrior from outer space, sent to fight the Angels? Maybe she was from a long dead race killed by the Angels, sent here to save Earth? "Okay, they what are you?"
"I...I am an Angel/human hybrid."
As strange music played up the dramatic tension of the moment, Ritsuko quickly shut the door, promising to remind the technicians that the damn elevator radio was too loud once again.
Shinji just blinked; his mind currently blank as the mental control room underwent explosive decompression, even managing to suck Anxiety Shinji through the doorway.
Rei waved her hand before Shinji. "I think I broke Anata."
Ritsuko pulled out some smelling salts and waved them under Shinji's nose. She hated when stories were interrupted.
"Um...Rei?"
"Yes, Anata?"
"You are still you, right?"
"Yes, Anata."
"And you won't be destroying the world, right?"
"No, Anata. I will protect it. At most, I will only destroy some property while fighting the Angels, or if Pilot Souryu makes another attempt to claim you."
"And you really love me for me?"
"Yes, Anata."
Shinji exhaled. "Then I find no reason to worry about this. As long as we are together, the Angels cannot stop us."
"Thank you, Anata."
Ritsuko was drying her eyes. She always lost it on the sappy parts.
Kaji looked over the data he was going to send the JSDF and SEELE. It was amazing what all he had gathered. Apparently, without Gendo or his second, plus with Misato in charge, and the apparent disorder of Section 2, he was certain he could plant a bug in the ladies restroom and no one would know.
Not to say he hadn't done that already. Those dates he took the girls on didn't pay for themselves, and the Internet was a popular place to have the video feeds from those bugs posted.
As he slid back in his office as the files were being sent, he turned to see Asuka before him, a gun in her hand.
Yep, he was going to need to raid Maya's stash after this talk. Dr. Akagi's was just too weak, and Maya always knew where to get the good stuff, as expected from NERV's logistics officer.
As Asuka cocked the hammer back, she smiled. "Kaji, dear, exactly how did you fail to keep the First Child from discovering my plan to free Shinji?"
"Asuka, I take it your plan didn't go well?"
Her eyes narrowed. "She fucking ripped into a building with her EVA and plucked me out. That would be a no."
He nodded. "Well, I said I would try. How was I to know she had ways to circumvent procedures to keep her here?"
Asuka lowered the gun. "You will help me defeat the First Child and claim Shinji. And I promise, if I have to get another checkup to confirm I am not possessed by an Angel, you will get a prostate exam with this pistol and a bullet suppository, understand?"
Kaji scratched his stubble, knowing the next thing he said would get him into trouble, most likely shot, but then again, the medical facility had just gotten a fresh batch of high potency pain killers. "So, you want to be the one nailing him every night?"
"Yes," she said nodding, before her eyes went wide. "I MEAN NO!"
Sure he got pistol whipped, but the new pain killers and the memories of Asuka trying to take back her comments were well worth it.
Rei sighed as she lay with her head on Shinji's chest. Apparently, his berserker self had taken over again during sex.
Oh yes, she was growing quiet fond of that berserker aspect. It was determined to always defeat an Angel, and since she was a hybrid...
Yes, I was defeated. Thoroughly, utterly, and enjoyably defeated, I could not continue, and I do believe the bed will have to be replaced. It sounded as if the box springs were broken.
Anata is...very skilled.
She went to sleep, knowing she would enjoy battling Shinji's berserker side as often as she could.
It wasn't the thought of winning, but the prospect of the battle.
Yes, hours and hours of glorious battles.
Misato was staring down Asuka again. Security had found her hobbling out of the complex when they recaptured her and brought her back.
Apparently, she forgot that their home had an EVA fist-sized window now.
"So, I take it you are still planning on letting this farce continue?" Asuka asked accusingly.
"Well, Rei's sync ratio has more than doubled since the marriage. Shinji's rose by forty-eight points. So I would have to say that the marriage has been a good thing so far." Misato smirked as Asuka's face went pale, before shifting into Pissed: Third Gear.
"They...they beat my scores?" She was squeezing her right hand into a fist, almost to the point that she was about to cut into her own skin.
"Yep," Misato said as she pretended to look at the report to prove that she was being truthful. The fact was the Ritsuko had yet to point out how much Shinji had improved. "If we knew this was what it took, we would have hooked them up months ago." She got up from the room they had assigned to Asuka and left. She could tease the German girl more tomorrow about asking Rei nicely to see if a romp with Shinji would raise her sync ratio.
Besides, she had to go question some techs about where the giant victory fan that was found floating in the LCL pool of Unit 01 had came from.
The three EVA units stood outside.
Well, two stood. The Angel—classified as Leliel—had just absorbed Shinji. Misato was about to recall the other EVAs to begin to formulate a new attack plan.
But the Angel had already made a mistake.
"GET YOUR OWN DAMN MAN, BITCH! HE'S MINE!" screamed Rei, as Unit 00 dove into the warped space the Angel had created, progressive knife in hand.
The bridge crew could only stare in amazement. Unit 00 had actually been growling as it leapt, almost like Unit 01 did in berserk mode.
"Hey! If anyone is saving the baka, it'll be me, not some doll!" screamed Asuka, as Unit 02 leapt into the warped space as well, ax in hand, growling as well.
As all three EVAs finished disappearing inside the Twelfth Angel, Misato turned towards Ritsuko. "Um...are we going to get blamed for this?"
Ritsuko gave her a dirty look. "Oh, no. We aren't in trouble. Just you, Temporary Commander."
Misato opened another beer. It was so going to be one of those days.
Omake by Lord Raa:
As strange music played up the dramatic tension of the moment, Ritsuko quickly shut the door, promising to remind the technicians that the damn elevator radio was too loud once again.
Shinji just blinked; his mind currently blank as the control room underwent explosive decompression.
Rei waved her hand before Shinji. "I think I broke Anata."
Ritsuko sighed, she hated when stories were interrupted. "Undress him and wave your panties under his nose. That should wake him up."
"I am not going to take my husband's clothes off in front of you, Dr. Hentai," Rei said with what passed for venom in her voice. "Get your own stud-muffin."
"Spoilsport," Ritsuko griped.
Omake by Shinjithegoodsharer:
Ritsuko Akagi was tempted to light up another cigarette. Damn Kaji for stealing my stash.
Before her sat the Ikari family, well the two currently sane members. "Well there is good news and bad news... first the bad news. Rei is most definitely pregnant with your child, Shinji, and said child is apparently an angel -human hybrid."
Shinji stared at the good doctor before choking out. "What's the good news?"
"Well from the looks of it, you have about 3 months head start before Gendo can pick up a shotgun." 3.1 seconds later, Shinji was running out of NERV as fast as his puny legs could carry him.