A.N.: I think this is a shorter chapter here people... Please don't kill me! We're almost at the end! Not that it's something to look so forward to…

And, uh, I know you're gonna think I exaggerated in some numbers here, but this is fanfiction, so I figured, "Why not?" and just typed it down.

THE WAY YOU ARE IS FINE ENOUGH

CHAPTER 9 – WHAT WE NEVER KNEW

Several uncomfortable moments passed as one adult and five kids were caught in an eerie silence, none able to say anything. Despite his instinctive shout, Suoh had also been rendered quiet after it, but once he realized what he'd done, the blue-haired ninja decided he might as well speak his mind anyway. "No, kaichou, the worse you can do right now is stay away from us. If you're feeling lonely, then backing away from the people around you is just going to make it worse, no matter how much you wish it'd just make you numb to the feeling of solitude."

Slowly standing up, releasing himself from the nurse's arms, Nokoru seemed like a trapped animal: body shaking and eyes widened in fear of something the other students couldn't quite put a finger on. "Suoh, how long have you been here?" He asked in a low voice.

"Kaichou, we really didn't…" the inquired boy started, only to be interrupted by a shout uncharacteristically coming from his President.

"I ASKED YOU HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE! HOW MUCH DID YOU HEAR!" Nokoru screamed. Good thing this was the part reserved for the blonde, otherwise they would have been scolded for making so much noise in a hospital.

The others, including the woman, were very shocked by his reaction, and the blue-haired boy decided enough was enough. Walking closer to his kaichou, he inwardly flinched when the older boy seemed to back away as if fearing him, although outwardly there was no visible reaction from the amber-eyed kid. Before Nokoru could run, Suoh suddenly disappeared from all their lines of view and just as abruptly appeared again seconds later with the blonde over his right shoulder, tightly kept there by a strong hand. Bowing slightly to the only present adult as he politely thanked her in a whisper, sooner than anyone could react, the ninja was gone.

"Please excuse us, we have something to discuss."

The words hung in the air and it took the remaining people some moments before they realized what happened, and when the nurse recovered, she immediately started scolding the younger three students for eavesdropping and trespassing.

"Just because you are Nokoru-san's friends, that doesn't mean you can do that to him, but really I do hope Takamura-kun can get that boy to lighten up, he's had enough!" She finished her speech, and then gave them all a big smile before ushering them out.

It took some time for the blonde to realize what the Secretary was doing, and by then they were both out of the hospital and halfway to the silent park near it.

Suoh could run that fast.

"PUT ME DOWN, SUOH!" Nokoru screamed when his senses finally registered what was going on. "I SAID PUT ME DOWN!" But no matter how much the blonde bellowed or struck his fists against his blue-haired kouhai's back, they just didn't stop moving until finally reaching the small and secluded park at one of the far ends of the CLAMP campus. Just to help hide themselves a bit better, Suoh jumped to a medium-height branch of a tall tree, where he finally set the older student down on the wide limb and leaned himself against the trunk.

"So, kaichou, care to start explaining what's been happening with you? Akira and I - not to mention Ookawa-kaichou and Nagisa-san - are very worried about you," the 5th-grader asked in a casual voice, arms crossed over his chest and eyes staring intently at the blonde.

Not getting up from where he was set sitting, Nokoru turned his eyes away and simply mumbled something barely audible.

"There's nothing weird happening lately, Suoh. I'm perfectly normal."

"All right, then let's start over, what is it that you just have to tell me?" The ninja asked, emphasizing the word 'have'.

"Nothing," was the mumbled answer, "absolutely nothing."

"In that case," started the Secretary as he broke the support the trunk had given him and walked the few steps necessary to reach the President, "let me help you," he said, kneeling in front of the older boy.

With a sudden movement that caught Nokoru totally off-guard - especially since his unusually slow reflexes were obviously a lot inferior to Suoh's incredibly fast ones - the latter's swift movements soon had the blonde's wrists once again raised in the air by his tight grip, much like he'd done earlier. "Would you kindly explain why these are here, kaichou?" The boy asked his upperclassman, the latter's wrists firmly held by the hands of the former.

When there was no reply, Suoh lost control over himself, the urge to help his President and get the truth out of him greater than any other feeling he'd ever felt before. With animal strength, the pale wrists were soon revealed as the Secretary ripped away the bandages with rough force, causing Nokoru to cry out in pain even after they were off. "WOULD YOU KINDLY EXPLAIN WHAT THESE ARE DOING HERE, KAICHOU! WOULD YOU PLEASE MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAD TO CUT YOUR WRISTS IN A SUICIDAL ATTEPT!" He shouted angrily, hands now holding up the blonde's forearms, which pretty much showed the big red scars in the otherwise flawless skin.

A that moment, due to the way their cover had been briskly torn off, the cuts had reopened and red rivers were dripping down both of them, eventually reaching Suoh's hands, and only then did he realize the damage he'd caused and the pain he'd obviously inflicted on the still struggling Nokoru.

Startled, the ninja hastily let go of his senpai as if the latter were on fire. "Kaichou, I'm sorry, I was just very angry and… Oh, I'm so sorry!" Suoh began rambling, but somewhere along the words, he noticed the older boy stopped moving and had hung his head down, hiding his face.

The quick moment of silence was interrupted by the President's low voice. "I wish she hadn't found me when she did, bleeding on the floor that rainy night."

"Kaichou," Suoh started, but was then interrupted by Nokoru's sudden outburst as the blonde raised his head so quickly it almost startled the ninja, especially when he saw the heavy streams of tears running down from the sky blue eyes now tinged with red.

"THE ONLY THING I REGRET IS NOT DYING! AND IT'S THE THIRD TIME I'VE TRIED!"

After a brief moment of surprise, the 5th-grader embraced his senpai gently, as if cradling a baby, though the blonde was anything but. Loud sobs were muffled on his chest, but they were heartbreaking enough to the Secretary.

"Am I really that incompetent, Suoh? Am I such a fool that, besides the fact that I can barely do anything physical other than walk or simple movements without straining myself, am I so useless that I can't even get a simple task like this done correctly!" Nokoru asked softly.

Hearing the deeply felt words of sadness, Suoh thought it best to let the other know what he'd gathered. "I see you're in another case of depression, aren't you, kaichou? This would be, what, your eighth time?" The blue-haired boy asked softly as he gently stroked the 6th-grader's hair.

Suddenly, Nokoru tensed and looked up at him, fear clearly edged on his features. "How did you…"

"I've done research lately. Too much stuff was happening to you so I couldn't just pretend everything was fine. I know about a lot of your hospital visits, though I'm sure I'm nowhere near the true extent of them, I see it's bad enough with what I've found out. I take it you have been having heart problems too, with all I've heard you say today and because you fainted after a simple sprint that day when NASA tried to get you some months ago before actually succeeding to kidnap you. Analyzing all this, I'd say we said some things that really got you down that day, didn't we, and then it quickly evolved to another case of depression, leading to a suicidal attempt yet again," the ninja reasoned.

"I do ask you, kaichou, not to wish for your own death. You have no idea how your absence affects Ijyuuin and I, even when it's just for a few days. Besides, you are most definitely not incompetent. It's not your fault you were born with so many psycho-physical problems, but what matters is not what you outwardly do with your body, it's what you have in your mind that counts, kaichou… I thought you knew that," Suoh said calmly. At this point, a genuine smile was his facial expression; the hand on Nokoru's head was joined by the other as both rubbed the President's back in soothing movements. "And in your case, kaichou, you are the most valuable person in the world. I've never seen anyone that can be as smart and as genuinely kind as you are."

Though he knew Suoh wasn't the cold boy everyone thought him to be, in fact being, quite contrarily, gentle and polite when he wanted or had to, to Nokoru it seemed impossible that he was hearing those words from the Takamura heir; but the fact that they came from the young ninja seemed to have double or more the effect it would have had anyone else said it to him. He didn't know why, perhaps it was because Suoh was his best friend - and the first he'd ever had - or maybe it was the fact that the Secretary never said anything like that, so when that happened, it was special. Either way the sky-eyed boy was simply happy, content that at least for that one instant, he wasn't alone anymore, which was enough to soothe him into a peaceful sleep, partly induced by his kouhai's hands skillfully moving on his back.

"Thanks, Suoh," he whispered, a light smile on his lips, before finally falling into obliviousness.

The thanked boy only smiled back, though it obviously went unnoticed by the unconscious blonde in the ninja's embrace. The latter decided to just enjoy the moment a bit longer before settling the older student in his arms and, silently jumping down the tall tree carefully while avoiding as much impact as possible so as not to wake the other, Suoh carried his upperclassman all the way back to the hospital, where Akira, Nagisa, Utako and nurse Suzumura waited at the reception.

Small smiles were formed on their faces as they greeted him back.

The two young couples sat in Nokoru's private hospital room watching as the black-haired nurse treated the blonde's wrists again: first washing, disinfecting and then bandaging. The said boy was sleeping peacefully on his bed, but there was, this time, a somewhat content expression on his oblivious face.

"So, Takamura-kun, have you been able to figure out what's happened to Nokoru-san?" The gentle woman asked as she finished bandaging the left hand, carefully placing it on the mattress, and started the same three-step process with the right one.

"Yes, Suzumura-san, I have, and kaichou confirmed it," the 5th-grader answered politely.

"Oh, he actually told you?" She asked somewhat surprised, though her eyes never wandered away from her task. "Nokoru-san isn't the kind of person to say it to anyone, even when he was drugged to do it! It took us years to find out what was wrong with him the first time he tried something like this, and even so, it was actually because we overheard him talking to himself. If he had it his way, we would never understand… Not that we are really able to do anything about it. Nokoru-san is too intelligent, so no matter what we try with him, this boy always finds a way to dodge our efforts!"

With the last words, the nurse finished clothing the sleeping boy's hands and, giving the right one a soft pat, she gently placed it on the bed. "I guess you can say that where the body lacks, the mind surpasses, because Nokoru-san's body may be feeble, but you all know how much his mental capabilities are high."

Sighing, the longhaired woman got up and motioned them outside the room. Once they were out, she closed the door, though not locking it, and turned around to face them. "Please, follow me to my office, there's something I'd like to show you," the kind woman asked as she lead them away from the large hall and into a maze of corridors and rooms until they finally stood in front of a door which held the nurse's name printed on the glass square.

"SUZUMIYA CHITOSE"

Opening the door to let them in, Chitose closed it behind herself and sat on her chair when the four guests were comfortable enough on their respective spots: on the couch were Nagisa, Utako and Akira, from left to right facing her, and Suoh, refusing to sit, leaned against the wall to her right, beside the black-haired boy.

"Look, I'm telling you this because you four were the closest to reach the truth about Nokoru-san. Saiyonji-sensei and I have been treating him since he was born, so we know a little bit of how he thinks. As much as you may know, I'm sure you haven't yet figured out a lot of things about him, so I'll tell you some details I'm sure you wouldn't have dreamed of, and all I ask in return is for you to watch over him. I can't bear to see him like this any longer! It's the third time he's tried to kill himself!" She said, practically screaming the last sentence, which had the three younger students taking in a breath… They hadn't known what the Imonoyama-kaichou had attempted until she said it.

Noticing this, the nurse continued, "I see you hadn't figured it out yet, even though that doesn't change the fact that you're still the only ones who noticed something's not right about him." Nurse Suzumura paused a bit, looking at each of the four children before continuing.

"Nokoru-san tried slitting his wrists a few days ago, that's why they're bandaged. The first time he sought suicide, it was jumping from the top of this very hospital - and mind you, that would be the thirty-second level. The second time he tried shooting his own heart. Fortunately in both cases someone stopped him before he managed to do anything, although he was very close to succeeding twice. Can you guess why he would do such a thing?" She asked, directing the question at the three on the couch.

Akira, Utako and Nagisa simply looked at each other in question before turning back to the older woman and simultaneously shaking their heads in denial.

"I thought not. Nokoru-san was born with serious physical limitations and psychological conditioning that no one has yet been able to understand, and because of it, he has a very high tendency towards depression. It's amazing how he's been able to fight it, actually. Truthfully, if it weren't for his strong will, despite his surroundings, Nokoru-san should have been dead by now, or at least gone through more than 20 cases, but impressively we've only registered less than ten, including this one," she trailed off.

"How exactly is it that impressive, Suzumiya-san?" Akira asked after a moment of hesitation, voicing the others' exact thoughts.

"Enough to keep him alive for more than five years, despite his three suicidal attempts. In truth, Nokoru-san doesn't have good enough physiological conditions to keep him alive for so long… what keeps him going is his strong will," the nurse explained, at this point looking directly at the blue-haired boy as she made a small pause on her words before facing all four again.

"Actually, we have Takamura-kun to thank: since you came into his life, Nokoru-san has another reason to be alive, or so he says. He told me it's fun to be around you, and then Ijyuuin-kun came too. Nokoru-san always has a smile when he speaks about you two. He didn't tell Saiyonji-sensei and I, but we both know enough about him to figure out that when he met both of you, it was the first time he learned what the real meaning of the word 'fun' is. Since he's an Imonoyama, even if his body is weak and all, his mind is definitely not, so he was given the proper treatment for his health and the training any Imonoyama receives."

With a sigh and a disapproving scowl, Chitose proceeded with the explanation, the other four in the room quiet as they heard it attentively. "It's not easy to be an Imonoyama… Just the mental stress is enough to take a normal person down. Even for a kid, the responsibilities are high, so they are trained since birth to have a strong personality, hidden by a cheery façade. Of course, in Nokoru-san's case, it was probably a hundred times worse due to his emotional conditions, but he never backed down and has, in fact, triumphed greatly over many things.

"Nokoru-san has to come here about three times each week, no exception, for a physical check-up and to take medicines against depression and stress," she said, at this point a playful smirk on her lips as she stared at them. "Add all that up with his other responsibilities, such as the Imonoyama Power Plant and being the President of the CLAMP Campus Elementary School Student Council, not to mention other eventual activities. Nokoru-san is amazing…" The nurse trailed off, eyes shut as memories displayed in her mind.

The faces of Akira, Nagisa and Utako were of disbelief. Sure, the three of them and Suoh belonged to famous or rich families – if not both - but none of them had to worry too much about anything else besides studying and the Student Council duties, and that alone was sometimes too much. None of the three could dream about adding anything else to their busy schedules, though the 4th-grader also had to strive with the secret identity of Nijyuu Menosu Kaitou.

Registering each of their disbelieving faces in her mind, Chitose continued, "Of course, those three attempts do not exclude the countless times he's been brought here for treatment due to kidnapping consequences and such things. When Takamura-kun is out with Azuya-chan and Ijyuuin-kun is with Ookawa-chan, Nokoru-san is…"

"Huh! Just a moment, please! How did you know Ookawa-san and I go out sometimes? We never said that to anyone!" Akira questioned abruptly standing up, his face clearly showing his confusion, though it was also tinted with a soft red, much like the color on Utako's cheeks.

Knowing of this for the first time, Nagisa silently questioned her friend with a look and the black-haired kindergartener, with a very shy nod, confirmed it.

"Well, what I know comes from Nokoru-san, so if you didn't tell him, let's just say he knows more about you than he lets on," the nurse answered him with a smile.

Head bowed, Akira apologized for interrupting and sat down once more, waiting for her to continue, which she did.

"There's no problem, Ijyuuin-kun, you do have the right to know. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, well, when you two leave with these two lovely ladies, Nokoru-san is left alone. I know he never complains and says he doesn't want to hold the both of you down. He told me once that he did not wish to tie you two to him just because there's no telling when he might collapse and die. But… when he's alone, Nokoru-san usually gets kidnapped. Fortunately the extra bodyguards have always been able to handle the job, either paying the ransom or successfully getting him back, but not without a few 'reminders', of course. Some of them have even lost their lives doing it… and Nokoru-san always blames himself for it, but there's nothing he can do to avoid it. The reason he gets kidnapped so easily can be summarized in an equation: a lot of money, a magnificent intelligence and a very frail health so as not to be able to react soon enough, not to mention his heart problems if he tries to run; so it all makes him a perfect victim to abduct.

"Nokoru-san was always surrounded by bodyguards, a fact that gave him very little space; even so, the number of times he was kidnapped was outrageous. When Takamura-kun came and became his protector, the bodyguards were cast aside to a secondary role, but even if it was just one person watching over him, the number of times Nokoru-san was kidnapped after that reduced considerably, as have his injuries, whether mental or physical. I have to thank you for this, Takamura-kun," Chitose said, standing up and bowing gratefully at the boy.

Embarrassed, Suoh raised his hands before him as if surrendering himself, "No, don't worry. It's really a pleasure, there's nothing to thank me for."

"Yes, that maybe so, but, Takamura-kun, as good as you are in protecting him, you can't always be near Nokoru-san, and he no longer wanted to be surrounded by so many people once he tasted a bit of freedom in your hands, and we can't really blame him for that. He's been carrying the guilt for the death of about six or so bodyguards for some years now, as much as we say none were his fault. I guess Nokoru-san's sense of responsibility is too big, so he prefers risking himself than the death of more people. When neither of you are around and he has to go out, in the few seconds or minutes it takes to exit the building to his limousine, countless times he's been abducted." She trailed off, giving the boys time to process her words.

"No matter how grown-up Nokoru-san is, it's so scary to see a boy his age hold no fear or any feelings whatsoever towards his kidnappers. All he shows and feels is indifference, as if he no longer minds being plucked from safety and put into a dangerous environment!" Chitose couldn't help but let the tears flow at that point. She really loved the blonde as if he were her own family. The first memory of his hollow eyes looking back at her after being rescued and brought to he hospital, those eyes had haunted her since… rainy sky depths that stared at her as if nothing else mattered. "He's so used to it that he's become indifferent to such things! It's just not right!"

An awkward silence followed; Chitose kept crying until Utako and Nagisa were at her side and soothed the good woman down. The lavender-haired girl decided to ask her question then. "Suzumiya-san, you keep referring to Akira-san and Suoh-san as if they were responsible for Imonoyama-kaichou, but what about his parents, his family? Don't they come in first?"

The older woman looked sadly at the little girl inquiring her and answered while caressing Nagisa's pigtails. "I'm sorry if it sounds like that, but I have no intention of accusing anyone here. However, I'm afraid that what you propose, normal as it may sound to anyone else, is just not how it works for Nokoru-san. The Imonoyamas are very busy people, and it's not just about money either. The only close enough relative he has to pay him attention is this CLAMP's Rijichou, and even so, she's also too busy, so they rarely see each other in person.

"In fact, usually communication between two members of the Imonoyama family is done using videos, internet or telephone. The only time I've seen anyone else come to see Nokoru-san in person wasn't exactly the best experience in my career. That person had come back to Japan for a few days when he learned that your President had just been kidnapped for the seven hundred and twenty-eighth time, that family member came to the hospital and entered the room where Nokoru-san was being checked by Saiyonji-sensei because he had apparently been shot, or so I was told. All I heard was that person screaming things I wouldn't dare repeat, and then some noises.

"When I entered it, the room was a bit messed up, Saiyonji-sensei was propped up against a wall and Nokoru-san was lying in the bed, his face was red and swollen and the right arm that had been shot was still bleeding. I believe that was the day you first rescued Nokoru-san, Takamura-kun. Saiyonji-sensei said he looked really happy until that relative of his came. The noises I heard were her hitting the wall and this person hitting Nokoru-san. They didn't tell me much more, and I really believe I don't want to know. Is that the kind of family you want me to trust him to?"

At such a question, the other four were silent. Of course it wasn't, but none of them could bring themselves to answer it, after all, they were too surprised at the reply she'd given them… Though they were trying to, they couldn't picture themselves without their parents' support, without the family's support, much less under such circumstances, and yet Nokoru had been able to, facing even worse limitations.

It was inspiring, yet it was also very sad.

"Do you see now, what I'm trying to ask you? Azuya-chan, Ookawa-chan, Ijyuuin-kun, Takamura-kun, I'm asking, no, I'm begging you to give Nokoru-san support. That boy's strong, very much so, but he won't be able to hold out much longer, Nokoru-san's slowly breaking. Everyone needs help; I'm pleading you to be his.

"There's no need to spoil him, just understand what he has to go through, give him space, don't leave him alone so often, make sure he's always guarded without him noticing… Just please watch over him! Try to have him come here only the three times he needs to for the regular check-up; Saiyonji-sensei and I love seeing and treating Nokoru-san, but we'd rather he didn't have to keep coming here because of these cruel situations… It pains us too much," she requested, bowing her head to all of them, her tears once more flowing.

After a few seconds as the words dawned on them, the four broke into smiles and crowded around her in a group hug.

"Yes, we'll take care of him," the boys said in unison while the two girls nodded. "Leave it to us."

END of CHAPTER 9 – WHAT WE NEVER KNEW

A.N.: There we go, 'everyone' discovered! This was the last chapter, now all that is missing is the epilogue!

As I mentioned before, I know some numbers were waaaaaay off, but I wanted to try working with absurd situations in this story, which (sort of) explains the 728th time Nokoru was kidnapped when said relative arrived. Since that was three years back and such incidents have diminished considerably since then because of Suoh, I'd say this last time (the stupid rocket thing with NASA in the first phase of this fic) would be 740 or so. Suoh made quite a difference, though - mind you - the other bodyguards weren't incompetent, our ninja is just too good!

Comments, criticisms and whatever, you know the drills! Just review!

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