The days following the confrontation were marked with pain. Kurama carried on his daily business, school and home life, offering polite smiles to those around him, but they were only a mask for the sadness in his heart.
He had been sure that the next meeting at Koenma's would be too much for him. They all had to report in for debriefing over the fight a day ago. To Kurama it had been much longer ago and he could no longer recall the details of the battle. Yusuke told most of the story, while Kuwabara filled in some details.
Hiei had arrived late and kept to himself in the back of the room, never speaking once. Kurama could feel him back there, but didn't dare face him, couldn't really. Almost before the meeting was officially closed by Koenma, the fire demon broke for the door and was gone, before Kurama could even wonder if it would be worth it to face him.
"Hiei sure seemed out of it today," Yusuke remarked as the three remaining teammates exited the office.
"I dunno I kinda like the shrimp quiet," Kuwabara smiled.
"Heh, yeah I guess he's not really chatty anytime, but did he seem off to you Kurama?" They all stopped walking and faced the nervous kitsune.
"I didn't really notice," Kurama lies.
"See he must be fine then, if something was bothering him Kurama would have noticed," Kuwabara said and resumed walking.
"Yeah I guess you're right," Yusuke continues walking, "You know him better then we do Kurama."
Kurama feels a sting in his chest as if he had been struck by a knife. He had thought he'd known Hiei, thought they had been allies, friends even, but now? He didn't even know if they were anything anymore.
"I'm afraid you give me too much credit detective," Kurama muttered following the other boys out.
"Something bothering you Kurama?" Yusuke asked raising an eyebrow at his friend's sudden darkened expression. Kurama didn't reply, causing Kuwabara to laugh.
"Lay off Urameshi, you just looking for someone to be having issues aren't ya?"
Kurama gave his polite smile, the one that fools the world and makes them forget.
"I'm sorry gentlemen, but I must go now, homework you know," Kurama gives another fake smile and walks away.
Yusuke frowns.
"I'm telling ya Kuwabara, something is gonna on with them."
"Ya I know, I'm spirit sensitive remember? Whatever it is they don't wanna talk about it so it's better to just drop it."
"Guess you're right. Just hope it doesn't screw up any missions we got coming up. I need those guys focused."
"Come on Urameshi, they're demons, what else do they have but focus?" Shrugging the two wander off towards the arcade while the small figure in the trees watches them.
Kurama had felt Hiei watching, and decided to make a quick exit, no reason to let the interrogation draw out. He wasn't sure how much he wouldn't reveal in his overly emotional state.
"I must watch myself more closely, the last thing I need is Yusuke and Kuwabara asking questions about me and Hiei," Kurama murmured under his breath as he walked home. "Especially since I can't even answer my own questions."
His heart sighed deeply at that. He could feel a headache coming on. This day had been especially taxing.
As soon as he was home he made a lame excuse to his mother about having a project to work on and promising he would eat something later. She looked worried so he smiled and reassured her he had gone for a snack after school with his friends. She bought that and let him go up to his room.
Once there Kurama lay across his bed starring at the window. He had no homework or imaginary school project to take his mind off things. He'd barely eaten at all today and found he had no energy to do so. He just stared at the window sill where he had folded Hiei's clothes and left them.
Everyday when he came home he expected them to be gone, but they were still there, just as they had been yesterday. He knew Hiei had other clothes, he'd been wearing those today at Koenma's, still he had felt certain that he would return for them. Return and give Kurama another chance to explain maybe.
He got up and moved to the window picking up the bundle. They didn't even smell like Hiei anymore. He had washed them in the gentlest unscented detergent his mother bought, but Hiei's scent was gone. His fox senses found this to be the greatest loss of all. It is one thing to not be able to see or hear something, but if you can at least smell it, you know it is real. Kurama sat back down on the bed, still holding the shirts and wondered when something would feel real again.
The next day was more of the same, polite, fake smiles that fooled everyone. Kurama seemed the same, though maybe he didn't raise his hand in class as often and had actually misspelled a word in one of his assignments. He just shrugged it off and continued making it through the day.
On his way home Kuwabara came running up to him.
"Hey Kurama wait up," The taller boy panted stopping a few feet from the fox.
"Koenma wants us to go check something out, we're supposed to meet out behind the arcade so Botan can take us there," Kuwabara explained.
"Do we know where we are going?" Kurama asked almost lazily.
"Naw, maybe Urameshi knows, but I'm just supposed to find you and Hiei and meet back there," He replied.
Kurama frowned and braced himself for the inevitable question he knew was coming.
"Where's Hiei?"
"I have no idea."
"What do you mean? You guys are always showing up together at the same time, now you have no idea where to find him?"
"I'm sorry I really don't."
"Well that's just great, I have no idea where the shrimp goes when he's not around. You sure you don't even have a guess where we should look for him?"
"Perhaps it's best if we just meet the others, I'm sure if Hiei wants to be found he'll show up there."
"Whatever, I wish he'd quit being so selfish you know? Other people depend on him and he pulls disappearing acts like this."
Kurama said nothing, but followed Kuwabara to the arcade where Yusuke and Botan were waiting.
"Hey guys," Yusuke greeted them, "Where's Hiei?"
He had asked the question of both of them, but Kurama felt it was directed at him. For some reason this annoyed him.
"I'm afraid sharing a probation term does not make me his keeper, I don't know where he is right now," Kurama said his eyes narrowing just for a second.
As soon as the words had come out he regretted them. It was not his way, he was always so polite and calm, and while not exactly rude, the statement sounded far enough out of his character that he knew it wouldn't be forgotten.
"I was just asking," Yusuke said, looking confused.
"No worries we have ways of tracking Hiei down, "Botan said all chipper, "you boys go on ahead and I'll send him along when we find him."
"Yeah sounds good, hurry though, he'll be mad if he misses all the fighting and this mission sounds pretty easy already," Yusuke said his expression returning to normal.
The boys made their way through the portal. Yusuke and Kuwabara landing in the pile on the other side while Kurama landed gracefully next to them.
"One of these days your showing us how you do that," Yusuke grinned trying to shake the awkwardness of earlier. Kurama was glad he was so willing to move on and nodded.
Now if only Hiei was more like Yusuke, Kurama thought as they began exploring the terrain a little, he could just move on and forget what had happened, go back to the way things were. Is that what he wanted? To forget it and move on? Kurama wasn't sure.
"Uh, guys I think I found what we were looking for," Kuwabara called peering through some rocks.
"You've got to be kidding me," Yusuke moaned eying their prey.
Even in his fixated mind set Kurama chuckled a little. Their quarry was little more then some puff sprites, not even full demons, just little bursts of energy that had gained a consciousness and had for whatever reason decided to work together. It did not make them appear any more dangerous, being pink.
"We're here to fight cotton candy?" Kuwabara asked looking severely disappointed.
"I guess so, I mean Botan said there were energy beings gathering and we had to disperse them before they could cause problems," Yusuke explained, but even he wore a pained expression.
"Perhaps it's better Hiei didn't come along, I don't think he'd appreciate putting his skills to use for this cause," Kurama said. He hadn't meant to bring up Hiei again and regretted even saying anything as soon as the words left his mouth.
"Yeah well he should still be here, he's part of the team," Yusuke growled. Clearly he didn't want to suffer the indignity of dispatching the puff balls alone. Kurama decided to be quiet now, better late then never.
"Alright lets get this over with," Yusuke frowned and stepped out from behind the rocks. "HEY, TIME TO BREAK UP THIS LITTLE PARTY."
The puff sprites gave no notice and began swirling together forming a bigger puff ball.
"You sure those things can even, like understand us?" Kuwabara asked moving beside Yusuke.
"They are aware of us, though I doubt they understand what you say to them," Kurama explained.
"Well I tried to reason with them," Yusuke said sarcastically. He pointed his finger at the growing pink mass, taking aim.
"Yusuke wait!" Kurama said urgently, but too late.
"Bang," Yusuke grinned sending a blast at the puff spirits. The energy pressed against the gooey pink orb before being absorbed into it. The mass tripled in size.
"Damn what was that?" Yusuke asked recoiling from the engorged spirit.
"I tried to warn you, sprites are pure energy, if you use spirit energy to fight them you only further their cause for growth," Kurama explained, "this is one of the few times when a battle must be won by force alone."
"So you want us to touch that thing?" Kuwabara asked looking disgusted.
"Hn."
Kurama closed his eyes, things just got worse.
"About time you showed up shrimp, we got a special job for you," Kuwabara grinned.
"I was under the impression the three of you could handle this, clearly I overestimated you," Hiei spat, looking towards Kuwabara and Yusuke.
"We didn't want you to feel left out," Yusuke replied.
"I don't feel detective, I'm not weak," Hiei said calmly his eyes for the first time meeting Kurama's.
Kurama's glared at him, what game was he playing at now? As if this week hadn't been difficult enough now he had to deal with Hiei making cutting remarks at his expense for the rest of his life? Being rejected was something he could deal with, but being ridiculed was quite another.
"Go home Hiei, your assistance won't be needed," Kurama growled pulling out his rose whip.
"No way, if we can't use spirit energy we're gonna need him," Kuwabara pointed out.
"Hiei go start slicing that thing up and we'll have to pound the bits back out to energy, seems to be the only way to get rid of it," Yusuke said.
"I can handle it," Kurama snapped. That was twice in one day he had behaved abnormally to Yusuke's orders, and Yusuke had noticed.
"Take it easy Kurama, there will be plenty to go around and I don't wanna be here all day chasing around those little puff balls."
"Of course," Kurama said, stepping back.
Hiei smirked at the exchange and drew his katana, a second later he was putting it away.
"I'll let the humans take it from here," he said leaning back against the rock.
The ball of energy broke apart into hundreds of little bits. Yusuke and Kuwabara went to work immediately pounding them into nonexistence. The energy releasing from its physical form and back into the air. Kurama snapped his whip taking out a few as well then turned to face Hiei. He could only retain his composure for so long, and Hiei had pushed him too far with his "humans" comment.
Scowling he made his way to where the small youkai was watching.
"What are you doing?" Kurama hissed.
"Watching fools," Hiei replied unblinking, his eyes forward to where Yusuke and Kuwabara continued fighting.
"Do you count me among them now?"
"You placed yourself there Fox, not I."
"Trusting you with my feelings makes me a fool then does it?"
"Stupid Baka, having feelings makes you a fool."
"And you feel nothing?"
"No."
"Then why are you trying to hurt me? If you truly feel nothing then why not just ignore me and my feelings? Why drag this out and make me suffer?"
"Hey guys?" Yusuke yelled, he was coated in pink and was trying to pull a collection of spirits off of Kuwabara's head, "little help here."
"This isn't over," Kurama hissed.
"You do not get to decide everything Fox," Hiei replied.
They moved apart and aided the team in dispatching the remaining spirits. When they were finished Botan opened the portal again allowing them to come home. Hiei took off immediately leaving Kurama flustered.
He made his hasty goodbyes and went home again. Once again lying to his mother so he could retreat to his bedroom. Once again eying the clothes folded neatly on the window sill. Growling he shoved them out the window watching them fall heavily to the ground below. He shut the window and pulled the curtain blocking his view of the night sky.
He had put his heart on the line and it had come back in pieces. Now he needed time to put it back together, Kurama swore under his breath that he would not make himself so vulnerable next time.
Stay with me guys, this isn't the end. Author notes to follow the final chapter>