AN: Geez, how many times do I hate to say it? I don't freaking own Teen Titans!
Chapter 4: Fireworks
Raven had been silent for two hours. They were finally leaving the bowling alley after five more games. The whole time she had had to put up with those teenagers constant remarks about her glowing white skin. She walked very fast as they headed for the car. She was in and had her seatbelt on before the others even reached the car.
Beast Boy was quite upset with Robin. He had said that they would leave six games ago and he broke his promise to her. He knew that she mustn't have been happy about that. And those rude teens couldn't have helped with the way she was feeling.
"Are we going home now?" asked Starfire.
"Not yet, I have one more place for us to go," said Robin smiling at her.
Beast Boy almost spoke up, but he just bit his tongue. He looked over at Raven. She was staring out the window, her forehead pressed against the glass. He knew she had been secretly crying for a while now, but he wasn't sure exactly why. It could have been for many reasons; he just wasn't sure which one.
Robin pulled into the parking lot of the city's park.
"Please, what are we doing here?" asked Starfire.
"You'll see," said Robin stepping out of the car and running over to help her out.
Beast Boy quickly got out and opened Ravens door for her. She didn't even look at him. She just unbuckled and got out of the car. Her face was as placid as it had ever been, and that scared Beast Boy.
Robin grabbed a blanket out of the trunk and instructed Beast Boy to do the same. He did and the four headed into the park. Robin told Beast Boy what was happening, and then each "couple" went their own way into the park.
Beast Boy found a nice spot out in the open and laid the blanket down. Raven had followed him, but she really didn't know what was going on. Not that she cared at all.
"You might as well sit down," said Beast Boy sitting on the blanket.
"Fine," said Raven and she went to sit down on the blanket. "Why are we here, anyway?"
"There're fireworks tonight," said Beast Boy.
"That's lucky," said Raven plainly.
"Actually, Robin arranged for them," said Beast Boy. "Guess being a superhero has its perks after all," he chuckled. He looked at Raven for a reaction, but none came. "Raven, are you okay?"
"What do you care?" she asked, bringing her knees under her chin.
"You seemed a little… upset back at the bowling alley," said Beast Boy. "And I thought I saw you… crying."
"I was not crying," she said through her teeth. The tree near them split in two. She only hugged her knees closer to her body.
"Raven, I know you were crying," said Beast Boy. "Was it because Robin lied to you?"
"Beast Boy, I wasn't crying," she said again, slightly turning away from him.
"Was it because you're really having a bad time?" he asked.
"For the last time, I wasn't crying," she said, her voice just cracking.
"Was it… what those kids were saying to you?" he asked.
Raven bit her lip and felt her throat begin to tare. Hot tears crept into her eyes, but she refused to let these ones escape. "I don't know what you're talking about."
The sound of a high pitched whoosh filled the air and suddenly there was a colorful explosion above them. But Beast Boy didn't take his attention away from Raven.
"Yes you do, and you sound like you're about to cry again," he said.
She quickly whipped around and looked Beast Boy right in the eye. "I am not going to cry, nor have I been crying at all today. Now leave me alone." She stood up and began to walk into the darkness of the night, only being lit up by the fireworks above.
Beast Boy jumped up and ran after her. "Raven, I know you were upset back there," he said catching up with her. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"
"Because it's none of your business," she said not stopping.
"Yes it is," he said running in front of her. "I'm your teammate and your friend. Why don't you trust me enough to tell me what's bothering you?"
"Because I know that you don't really care about me," said Raven. "The only reason anyone ever wants to make sure I'm okay is because they're afraid that if I get upset I'll blow something up. Well I'm sick of being used and I just want to go home."
"Do you really think that that's why I'm trying to help you?" asked Beast Boy. "Because I'm afraid of you? Of what you'll do? Raven, I'm trying to help you because I care about you. I know that we haven't been really good friends lately, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna just let you be upset." He took her by the shoulders softly. "Now, please, tell me what's wrong."
Raven looked up at Beast Boy and she felt the tears that she had been holding back pour from her eyes. She quickly wiped them away, but it was too late. Beast Boy had seen the tears. "Nothing's wrong," she said looking back down to his feet.
Beast Boy sighed and let go of her shoulders. "Fine. If you don't wanna tell me then at least come and sit back down on the blanket. Once the fireworks are over we'll be going back home where you can lock yourself in your room and cry all you want." He turned and headed back towards the blanket. Raven stood there for a moment and then followed him back to the blanket.
The fireworks continued on for twenty minutes. The two sat there in silence. Neither were really watching the show. Beast Boy was slightly angry with Raven for not telling him anything and for her thinking that he was afraid of her. Raven was furious with herself for letting those tears appear in front of Beast Boy. She also couldn't believe that he actually cared about her.
"I hate being stared at," she said at last.
"What?" asked Beast Boy, a little startled.
"I hate it when people stare at me," she said. "And I hate it when they make fun of me because of the way I look."
"Well so do I," said Beast Boy. "I've just learned to ignore it and not care about what other people think."
"Well I can't do that," said Raven. "I feel what other people feel; I know what they're thinking. And when they look at me, I feel like they see what I really am. I feel like they know that I'm… evil."
"You're not evil, Raven," said Beast Boy. "Just because you're father was a demon doesn't mean that you're evil."
"It doesn't mean I'm not," said Raven dryly.
"Do you really think you're evil?" asked Beast Boy, shocked. "After all of the lives you've saved? After willingly putting yourself in harms way so others wouldn't get hurt? How can you possibly think you're evil?"
"I just know," said Raven bringing her knees back up to her chest. "It's like how you know you're funny. You feel it within you."
"Yeah, but according to you I'm not funny," said Beast Boy. "And according to me, you're not evil." Raven didn't seem at all comforted by his words. He cautiously moved closer to her. He looked at her and tried to imagine how she could think she was evil. She might have been a little mean at times, but she wasn't cruel. She was a good person. How could she think any different?
"Stop it," she said sharply.
"Stop what?" asked Beast Boy, snapping out of his thoughts.
"Stop staring at me," she said, her voice shaking.
"Oh, sorry," he said, realizing that he must have been looking at her a bit too long. "Well, for what it counts, I really don't think you're evil, Raven. And I'm sorry that I called you creepy earlier. I know we've talked about this before, but I shouldn't call you that."
The finale began and the sound was deafening. The sky was full of all the colors that could ever be imagined. It was all so bright that it was almost like day. A few hundred feet away the two could see Robin and Starfire sitting on their own blanket, though they couldn't really see what they were doing or saying.
Finally it ended and it was time to go home. Raven and Beast Boy stood up, grabbed their blanket, and headed back towards the car. They went to open their doors, but found that they were locked. So they leant against the car and waited. Soon many minutes went by and still Robin and Starfire hadn't returned.
"Where the hell are they?" asked Raven impatiently.
"If it's taking them this long to get back here, I really don't want to know," said Beast Boy shuddering.
"Oh, I hope they're not doing what you think they're doing," said Raven.
A smile graced Beast Boy's face. "Maybe we should go surprise them," he giggled. "Can you imagine the looks in their faces?"
"I'd rather not," said Raven.
"Okay, we'll just wait here then," he sighed and crossed his arms.
It grew quiet between them and soon the sounds of the park at night fluttered into their ears. Random crickets chirped and the leaves were rustling in the trees near them. It was a pretty warm night and the breeze that passed them was refreshing. Raven was grateful for it, since her cheeks were burning from the salt of her tears.
"Raven, do you hate me?" asked Beast Boy out of the blue.
"Excuse me?" she asked, a little startled by the question.
"Do you hate me?" he asked. "I mean, honestly."
Raven thought for a moment and then said, "No, I don't hate you. It's just… hard for me to be around you."
"Why?" asked Beast Boy.
"Because I… I envy you," she said shamefully.
Now it was Beast Boy's turn to be startled. "You're jealous of me?" he asked, shocked. "Why?"
"Because you can be all of the things I can't," she said, looking at the ground.
"Uh… what do you mean?" he asked.
She sighed and said, "You don't know how lucky you are, Beast Boy. You can turn your emotions on and off without anything exploding. You can just ignore people and go about your life without giving them a second thought. You can smile and laugh. Everyone can't help but like you because you're so happy-go-lucky and positive. And even though you've been through some horrible shit in your life you can go on and still live you life with a smirk on your face and a song in your heart. You don't know what I would give to have what you have."
Beast Boy slowly processed all of this into his brain. "Wow, I never knew anyone would actually be jealous of me," he said at last. "Especially not you. And, I know that you think your life is horrible, but sometimes I wish I could be like you."
"No you don't," said Raven, crossing her arms and hanging her head.
"Yeah, I do," he said. "I wish I could be smart like you. You're brain works so fast, almost as fast as Cyborg's and his is half computer! And you're so mature. Not to mention how calm you are when we're in the middle of chaos. I wish I had your discipline over myself instead of always freaking out, like everyone expects me to."
It grew quiet for a moment between them. "Well, I guess we both wish we were like each other," said Raven.
"Yeah," said Beast Boy.
Just then they heard laughter and looked towards the car where they saw Robin and Starfire. Robin was looking around and then caught sight of Beast Boy and Raven.
"There you two are!" called Robin.
"Us?" said Raven. "Where the Hell have you two been?"
"We have been doing the…" started Starfire, but Robin quickly cut her off.
"We were just spending some alone time together," said Robin. "Alright guys, we're going home."
Raven quickly turned and walked towards the car, with Beast Boy following after her. Starfire was all smiles and was staring at Robin dreamily, who had his own goofy look on his face. Raven made an observation and was quick to point it out.
"I like that shade of lipstick you're wearing, Robin," said Raven as she got into the car.
Robin paled and quickly went to one of the car mirrors. He saw his mouth had the faint color of pink lipstick smudged all over it. He quickly began to rub it off with his sleeve. They all got in and finally headed back to the tower.
Beast Boy kept looking over at Raven who was just staring out the window, looking very tired. He figured she should be what with all of the emotions she had been repressing all night and then her crying episodes that he knew she would never admit to. He wished there was something he could do for her. He never knew that she was jealous of him, of all people. She always acted like she couldn't stand him, so why would she want to be like him? He certainly had been reading her wrong for all of those years.