Chapter Six
Realistic Illusions

"Ah, Roger…" his girlfriend had said in a strange tone of voice. It sounded almost like she was trying to warn him of something.

He had looked up while asking, "Yeah?"

Roger had not expected to see a young woman who was not either Joanne or Maureen sitting on the sofa. The only other woman remotely close to their circle would be Alison, Benny's wife. But she hardly fraternized with them, though her husband had begun to slowly come around. This young woman—at first—was a complete and total stranger to him.

She was pretty, with a fair, radiant complexion, long dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, and bright green eyes accentuated with eyeliner, eye shadow, and mascara. She looked fairly young, perhaps around Mimi's age of twenty or so. A faint sense of dèjá vu had enfolded him when he first glanced upon the girl, but it was lukewarm at best. Frankly, he really couldn't place the girl.

Until they locked gazes.

When her green eyes locked onto his, he felt all the breath leave his body in a single instant. His expression froze on his face so that it did not even reflect the shocking emotions now coursing through his system. Awareness of everything else including his girlfriend fell away into some remote background. The only thing he could see was the girl, that suddenly very familiar girl with those haunting green eyes, eyes he had not looked upon for over three years…

It can't be…This is some kind of an illusion. She can't be…

"Regan?" The name was barely a whisper, but the word held more meaning and emotion than any audible declaration could ever possess.

Had he relapsed back into using? Was he now under the influence of far more hallucinogenic drugs than heroin had been? Or had he perhaps fallen in the shower and hit his head? Was he unconscious on his bathroom floor and sinking further and further into this tantalizing dream world? He wanted to believe this was all real, but fear held him back from taking that critical step. For years he had hoped in vain that his sweet baby sister would be returned to him. Now, when he was standing only six or seven feet away from her, he just couldn't make his disbelieving mind latch onto the possibility. He was too afraid of his tenuous grasp on hope and sanity being severed forever. Because if this turned out to be one fantastic illusion, he was quite sure he would lose his mind.

"Roger?" the girl asked. She slowly stood up. The movement somehow broke the strange spell of immobility over Roger.

"Regan? God, I must be crazy," he stammered. "Is it really you?"

He shot a glance over towards Mimi, who nodded affirmatively, assuring him that he was, indeed, seeing what he thought he was seeing. Her dark eyes flitted back to his sister and then to him. A knowing smile formed on her face. That was the only assurance he needed. He let out a deep sigh of relief and tension, crossing the few feet separating him from his sister in two huge strides and engulfing the girl in his arms.

Damn it, I'm crying again and I don't even care, Regan thought to herself as she buried her face in her brother's chest. She could barely even hear what he was saying over the din of her own sobs. Years of worry, anger, resentment, and a whole cavalcade of horrible emotions and feelings that had plagued her since the night she left home dissipated on contact with the person she loved most. All that remained now was a feeling of completeness, a sense of true contentment. All this worry about reuniting with her family, most especially Roger, had been hanging over her head for so long. With that worry gone, she felt like no door was closed to her now.

"Ow, Regan! I can't breathe!" Roger gasped. His wet green eyes grew wide with surprise at his sister's unpredictably strong grip.

"Oh!" Regan exclaimed. She released her brother from her deathly tight embrace, chiding herself for not curbing her strength. She would definitely have to be more careful in the future. She certainly did not want to have to explain herself if they ever figured out that she was unusually strong for a twenty-year-old female. The time for that would come, but, for now, she wanted to keep that off the table.

She smiled through the tears of pure joy that were flowing freely down her cheeks. Her makeup was probably ruined beyond repair, she figured. She felt an upwelling of strange impulses, like laughing and jumping around as if she were on top of the world. Regan could honestly not remember feeling this elated in her entire life. She knew she had been pretty happy when she had realized she had survived the Sunnydale battle, but that incident had absolutely nothing on this reunion with her brother. All the grief she had been feeling moments before after learning of her brother's loss and how she had not been there to comfort him through it, it was all pushed back into the forgotten recesses of her mind. For now, she was only entertaining emotions that brought on euphoria.

Roger was studying her intently, drinking in the sight of his grown up sister. "Look at you! You've gone and grown up on me, sis!" he mock scolded.
"Eh, just a few inches," Regan admitted, though she was beaming proudly. She quirked an eyebrow at her brother. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's changed." She reached up to run her fingers through his damp hair. She smiled approvingly. Before, she would have never thought the longhair look would have looked well on him. However, after seeing it, she decided her opinion could be reshaped.

She looked back up into his eyes again. Beyond the glowing joy she could see in them, she noticed that his eyes looked far older than they should. She frowned slightly when her Slayer senses picked up on some deeper, intangible changes that her brother had undergone. Though on the outside he looked youthful and healthy, she sensed some troubling inner turmoil broiling deep beneath his calm exterior. Something was drastically different about Roger, and this was something that went beyond grief and age.

This unnamable change gave Regan a queasy feeling in her stomach. She knew her brother better than anyone, or, she used to know him better than anyone. The only other one that could give her a run for her money would be Mark. However, with this super-empowered intuition Fate had bestowed her with, she was able to probe deeper into those with whom she had an intimate connection. As of right now, she was rather wishing she didn't have this particular gift.

Roger's brow furrowed when he saw the dazed, troubled look on his sister's face. "Regan, are you okay?"

For a moment, it appeared that she hadn't heard him. Soon enough, though, she shook her head and gave him a confident smile. "I'm fine. I'm better than fine."

Roger grabbed his sister's hands and squeezed them both. His mind was still straining to wrap itself around this entire situation. That she was standing before him in perfect health—actually looking better than when he had last seen her—was beyond astounding to him. The manner in which she was dressed implied she was making a decent living. How had she managed to survive on her own let alone bring herself up to a higher station than she had been born into? He had known she was resourceful and smart, but to make something of herself out of virtually nothing was not something he had ever pictured. It was truly a miracle to him that she was alive at all.

"God, Regan," he intoned, pulling her close. He closed his eyes while more tears trailed pathways down his cheeks. "I thought I would never see you again."

"I'm so sorry, Roger," she whispered. "For all I've put you through. I never meant to…"

"Shhh," Roger interjected. "I don't care about that right now. And I'm the one who should be sorry. I should've never said those things to you. It was all my fault."

"No, it wasn't," she said, pulling away and looking him in the eyes. She laid a hand on each side of his face. "It wasn't your fault. It was the drugs. You weren't you that night, and I should've known that then. I shouldn't have been such a stubborn coward."

Roger's eyes widened when he remembered all that had changed, especially in regards to the drugs. "Regan, there's so much I have to tell you."

Regan nodded, smiling knowingly. "I ran into an old friend on my way in. He beat you to the punch."

Roger was confused for a moment until he remembered that Benny had visited that morning as well. He sighed and led Regan back to the sofa. He sat down, feeling much like a balloon that has been deflated. All his euphoric joy from before was beginning to dissolve from the grim news he knew was coming next.

"So, you saw Benny?" When she nodded, he sighed. "What did he tell you?"

"That you went into rehab. That you were clean," she said, her tone laced with emotion. "You have no idea how wonderful it was to hear that, Roger. I'm so proud of you. I knew you could beat the drugs."

Roger smiled faintly with gratitude, although he didn't quite share his sister's feelings. He couldn't exactly feel proud of himself for being seduced by drugs in the first place. Drugs had ruined his life, leaving him to try and salvage a new life from the pieces. He had managed to make a pretty good life for himself now that he was back on track. But the price he paid for would ultimately spell the end for him. How would Regan take it when he told her he had HIV? He assumed that Benny was smart enough to keep that personal issue secret.

"He also told me…" Regan took a deep breath. Her countenance became more noticeable somber. Roger felt a surge of alarm. Had Benny told her about his condition? "I'm so sorry, Roger…about April. I couldn't believe it when I heard it. It must have been horrible. I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

Roger would have sighed in relief had not his sister been sitting right beside him. As it were, he averted his eyes from her gaze and nodded. "It's okay. I've let it all go."

Regan tried to smile, but she instead she drew in another deep, tremulous breath that warned of weeping soon to come. Roger put an arm around her shoulders and tried to assure he that he didn't fault her for not being there or for April's suicide. "Regan, it's all right. It was probably better for you that you weren't there. I'm told I was a complete bastard after that. Apparently, withdrawal and grief don't go well together."

That inspired a smile from the forlorn girl, though she tried to hide it under her solemn façade. Roger wondered if she had been told about Angel's death. Judging from the complete absence of grief and, for that matter, remarks or questions in regards to it, she probably still did not know about it. It was easy to predict how she would react to that news, for she had idolized Angel when she was younger.

Didn't we all?

Should I tell her? Or should I let Tom be the one to break that news? Has she even seen the rest of the group yet? I am her brother, so I should be the first one. I mean, she ran into Benny by accident.

Brushing away the disconcerting thoughts of being a bearer of bad tidings, Roger decided he wanted no more pain or grief to taint this reunion. He wiped some of the strands of Regan's hair that had gone array out of her face. Roger could not help but marvel at the immense amount of physical change she had undergone. She was still his sister, but she was no longer a gawky, teenage girl. She was now a confident, beautiful young woman. He felt himself swell with pride.

"You look great, Regan," he remarked. "You're beautiful."

"Thanks," Regan said. "I like the hair…yours, I mean. It's not a bad look for you."

Roger laughed.

"You should see it when it's dry and tangled," Mimi piped up from over in the kitchen. After spending so long trying to act like she wasn't there while simultaneously not wanting to leave, she finally felt like it was safe for her to remind them of her presence. Brother and sister both turned their identical green gazes to the young woman, looking much like they had forgotten she was still in the room. She smiled ironically and waved at the pair.

"Meems, come on over here," Roger said, beckoning her over.

Mimi was only too happy to comply and fairly relieved that the awkward tension seemed to have worn out its welcome. She had briefly considered leaving the room and taking sanctuary in the bedroom, but the stuff going on out here was far too interesting to miss. She would have been forced to listen at the door, which would have just ruined the entire moment. Besides, they seemed to do fine with her here. And she might as well had not been there for all the attention they gave her. Of course, she could understand that little sister who has not been seen nor heard from in over three years would trump live-in girlfriend of a little over a year.

"I would give you both a proper introduction, but I guess you two have already met," Roger remarked with a sardonic smile on his face. He pulled Mimi down onto his lap and nuzzled her neck.

"Yeah," Regan said, smiling at the couple. "Mimi actually recognized me. Apparently you've been showing her movies of me."

"I almost didn't recognize her. I almost let her walk away. Damn good thing you showed me that movie, Roger," Mimi pointed out.

"Yeah," Roger mused. He looked back at Regan, remembering again how different she looked. "So, you gonna tell me what happened to you and where've you been these past three years…or am I going to have to guess?"

Regan grimaced, causing Roger and Mimi to frown in worry and confusion. The last thing Roger wanted to do here was jump to any outrageous conclusions. The problem with that was that the normal conclusions were not making any kind of valid sense to him, and he could not fathom any explainable "outrageous" conclusions. He literally could not come up with any kind of explanation to account for what had happened to his sister, why she had kept out of contact for so long, and why she appeared to be doing so well for herself. The only one who could answer those burning questions was Regan…and she was not looking to be particularly forthcoming at the moment. This scared him a little.

"Roger…" Regan began after much inner debating. "There is nothing I would love more than to tell you everything. But I can't right now. I mean…there is so much more to it than just telling you where I was and what happened. It's extremely complicated." She winced at how completely ridiculous she must sound, but she could think of nothing else to say. "On second thought, it's beyond complicated. It's…well, I can't really think of a word right now, but whatever it is…it's that."

Christ, I sound like a complete moron who's failed English. Hey, I actually did fail tenth grade English. But that was only because I was lazy.

"What?" Roger asked, looking very baffled.

Regan took a deep breath. "Let me reword that. I will tell you the whole saga of my life of the past three years, but you gotta trust me when I say you are not ready to learn this stuff right now."

"Why not?" Roger queried, his brow wrinkled with frown lines.

"Because," Regan replied in a voice that sounded almost like a whine. "It's like you know how they say, 'Truth is stranger than fiction'?"

"Yeah," Roger said.

"My story's kind of like that," Regan told him.

Mimi stared at the girl as if she had suddenly sprouted two heads. She should have suspected something weird was behind this whole event. She exchanged a brief glance with her boyfriend, who looked just as clueless as she. Though Roger looked to be more disappointed than anything. She couldn't really blame him. If Regan had been her sister, she would definitely want some kind of bone to be thrown her way. By Mimi's thinking, a girl can't just go missing for three years and them come back without a good explanation. Of course, there might be forces here at work greater than the three of them. Maybe Regan wasn't talking because she couldn't…maybe she would be punished for talking!

Okay, that's it. You are not reading anymore of Mark's old screenplays before bedtime. They give you way too many crazy ideas, Mimi chastised herself.

Roger took a few moments to come to terms with the fact that Regan's explanation was being withheld for some indefinite amount of time. He had no idea what he could possibly not be ready to learn. But, if that was what his sister wanted, he didn't feel like he should push her to talk. He did not need a repeat of their last meeting.

"Okay," Roger conceded. "If that's what you want…I'll be patient. The only thing that matters is that you're back. You're home."

Regan let out a sigh of relief, grabbing her brother's hand. "Yeah, I am home."

Come on, you guys didn't think I'd leave you hanging for long, now, did you? You're all lucky I had the day off school today. I'll have you know, I could have been typing up scholarship essays, but I decided to crank out this chapter. Hope you enjoyed!

Remember: more reviews equals happy captain which equals more creativity which equals quicker updates. If you've managed to scramble through that verbose equation, it means I want you to REVIEW!

Next chapter ought to please a few of my readers because we finally edge in some Slayer action! Well, that's my plan, who knows what the muse will say about it.