A.N I'm back as promised with another update before the end of the weekend. I need to say thankyou to Cath for the title of this chapter and to Jess for some of the ideas used. She made some really great suggestions for this story and I think you're all going to enjoy them. Now just a short note for those of you who read TMTCTMTSTS I just wanted to let you know that I will be taking a short break from that story. I promise that I'm not forgetting about it but I have a new job starting this week and I really need to concentrate on the next few chapters of this one as they are going to be really intense. Anyway make sure you all leave me lots of reviews if you want me to continue this story. Otherwise I'll think that you're not enjoying it and I'll be forced to give it up. LOL. Ok hope the latest chapter lives up to expectations and once again a huge thankyou to all those of you who have been reviewing so faithfully in the first four chapters. I've appreciated the response to this story so much.
A Time Best Forgotten
Part One
Big Things Come In Small Packages
Taylor climbed the stairs to her bedroom grateful for the fact that Lucas had taken Zach for the day. She was about to open a Pandora's Box literally and the last thing she needed was to have Zach with her when she did. She didn't hesitate as she entered her room going immediately to her closet and reaching to the back of the shelf at the top to pull out the box that she knew rested there. It was only as she looked at it sitting on her bed that she found cause to pause and take stock of exactly what it was that may or may not lie inside. There had been so many times in the previous five years that she had wanted to open the box and search for answers amongst its contents but she had never allowed herself to do it. Never allowed herself until today but now the day had arrived there was no point in further denying it. It was time to learn the truth and she had to believe that this box would hold the answers that she so desperately needed.
Five years of waiting, so many times she had taken the box out and looked at it running her fingers over the cardboard flaps that had been stuck down so firmly resisting the urge to tear them open. The temptation to see what lay within had been huge but even greater was the fear of what she would learn when she did. Now that fear was gone she was sure that she knew the worst of what lay within. She knew the what now she needed to know the why.
She could clearly remember the day that she had received the box. The entire events of that day had been so deeply embedded into her brain that she doubted that she would ever forget. The day she had decided to go to New York and surprise her sister with a visit had turned out so differently than she would have ever expected.
She had arrived at their apartment knocking confidently on the door and tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for an answer. Finally the door opened and Haley stood on the other side stunned to see her older sister.
"What are you doing here?" she hissed at her.
"Hey now can't I come and visit my baby sis. Besides I've got some news that I would prefer to share in person." Taylor told her as she shed her coat standing back and gesturing with her hands dramatically.
Haley barely even glanced at her as her eyes flickered worriedly to the suitcase sitting at Taylor's feet.
"You can't stay here." She blurted out instantly as Taylor stared at her incredulously before her eyes flicked to a point over her shoulder before moving back to Haley and smiling.
"Haley," a new voice said entering the conversation, the way he said her name sounding almost like a reprimand. "Now what sort of way is that to speak to your sister? I'm sure she's had a long trip and by the looks of her we certainly can't put her out onto the streets." His assessing gaze having already taken in the information that Haley was yet to realise.
Haley blanched momentarily before turning to face her husband. "Of course she can stay," she told him hearing the tone of her voice "I just wanted to make sure that it was ok with you."
"Haley honey don't be silly why on earth wouldn't it be ok with me? I think its wonderful that you're sister has come to visit and judging by the look of her she has some big news to share with us."
Taylor looked between the two of them curiously, Haley wore such a strange look on her face but Taylor couldn't quite place it. Looking again at Chris she couldn't help the shudder that went through her body, there was something off here she just knew it. What she didn't know was just what it was that was giving her such a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looked once more at Haley silently asking for answers but Haley averted her eyes. She watched as Chris reached out sliding an arm around Haley's waist and hugging her tenderly and saw the flash of fear that went through her eyes for just a moment before she relaxed her body in her husbands grasp. What Taylor could not see was the fingers of Chris' hand digging sharply into his wife's side. A smile came to Haley's face as Taylor continued to look at her but it didn't reach her eyes and Taylor once again felt a sense of foreboding twisting her gut.
"Well my two favourite James women would either of you like a drink? I think we should all go through to the living room and have a good old catch up. Leave your suitcase here Tay, Haley will show you to your room later."
Taylor followed behind them her curiosity getting the better of her, desperately wanting to know what this strange vibe was that she could feel pulsating through the room. She perched on the edge of the chair unable to ignore the fact that Haley was looking everywhere but at her, her eyes constantly darting around the room pausing only briefly occasionally on Taylor's face. Taylor tried unsuccessfully to catch her eye as Chris busied himself at the bar fixing them all drinks.
"So," Chris said looking back at them over his shoulder "When are you due?"
Haley looked at Taylor finally registering the bulge of her stomach.
"Oh my God you're pregnant," she said surprise registering in her tone.
Taylor moved uncomfortably under Haley's intense stare.
"Um in about three months," she told them as Chris walked towards her drink in hand.
Handing it to her he smiled, "here you look like you could use this."
Taylor took it from him gratefully taking a long sip and smiling at the sensation of the alcohol coursing through her system.
"Taylor you shouldn't be drinking," Haley reprimanded her.
"Hell Haley it's only one drink. I really don't think it's going to do that much harm," Taylor said with a shrug of her shoulders, giving the impression of carelessness about the fate of her unborn child.
Haley stared at her tensing slightly as Chris perched on the arm of her chair placing a hand on the back of her neck and giving it a light squeeze.
"Haley I think Taylor's old enough to take care of herself and any baby that comes along. It really isn't any of our business." He spoke quietly so that only she would hear what he was saying before turning back to Taylor and smiling at her the very essence of the perfect host.
Taylor could see Haley sipping at her drink the glass barely having time to leave her lips before she would bring it back gulping some more of the fiery liquid down her throat. She was surprised, Haley had always professed not to have much of a taste for alcohol but looking at her now it was obvious that she had developed one. She could only assume that this was what came with living the high life as a famous singer. She wondered how long it would be before she ended up splashed across the front page of the National Enquirer. Headlines trumpeting the fact that Haley Keller Grammy Award Winning Singer was in rehab for alcohol abuse. Of course knowing the tabloids they wouldn't stop there they would be bound to come up with some other weird and wonderful story to add to it. After all a celebrity ending up at Betty Ford for alcoholism was hardly anything new.
Lost in her thoughts she almost didn't notice as Chris looked at Haley's now empty glass and shook his head slightly at her. She saw him lean down to speak in her ear but straining her ears she was just able to make out his words.
"Slow down honey, you don't want to look like a lush."
Haley had visibly tensed as Chris' hand came to rest on her shoulder and Taylor had once again wondered at the strangeness of her sister's behaviour. She was so jumpy Taylor could almost swear that she was getting ready to bolt from the room at any moment. She knew that it had been quite a while since she had last see her but this nervous creature in front of her was not the sister she remembered.
Chris looked up feeling Taylor's gaze upon him and smiled tightly at her, that smile supposed to be so warm and endearing appearing more and more fake the more she saw it.
"Hey I've got a great idea," he said suddenly "Why don't the two of you go shopping this afternoon? Take my credit card and buy some things for the baby. You never know Hales maybe seeing all of those tiny clothes will finally get that biological clock ticking. Aren't all women supposed to want children? I thought that was just a fact of life. You're getting older you know Hales you're not going to be able to put it off forever."
Haley shook her head mutely and Chris sighed "Well we'll see. Why don't you buy yourself something too while you're out?"
He stopped looking at Taylor. "Maybe you can convince her that its time for us to be thinking about having a family. God knows I've tried on more than one occasion."
Taylor didn't bother to respond to Chris, although she had met him on a couple of occasions before there was something bothering her about her brother in law but she just couldn't quite put her finger on it.
"Standing up she looked at Haley, "Shall we go?" she asked.
Haley stood up and made to follow Taylor out of the room but before she could Chris caught her hand pulling her back to him. Pressing the card into her palm he leaned down kissing her hard on the mouth.
"You know what I like, so I'll look forward to seeing what you bring home with you. Perhaps you can do a little fashion show for me when you get back."
He ran his eyes over her body from head to toe as Haley stood before him. Taylor could see that she was ever so slightly shaking. She started to move away again but his hand still held hers not allowing her to go anywhere.
"Hey I just gave you the means to go shopping don't I get a thank you?"
Shooting a look over to where Taylor stood studying the entire interaction intently she quickly raised her face to Chris kissing him hoping that he would not be tempted to drag out the show any longer than was strictly necessary. He thrust his tongue deeply into her mouth never one to shy away from putting on a show to a captive audience. As he moved his tongue around Haley's mouth his eyes caught and held Taylor's and she could see the look he was shooting her way. She was sure that if his mouth were not otherwise occupied it would hold a victorious smirk. He knew who held all the cards in their little world and he liked people knowing just how important he was in the whole Haley Keller image. Without him it would not exist and he revelled in the fact that it gave him yet one more thing to use in his quest to control her.
They left the apartment walking in silence to the elevators. Taylor kept her eyes trained on Haley's face as they walked waiting for her to say something to break the silence. But Haley it appeared was unfazed by the deafening silence between the two women and Taylor knew that it was going to have to be up to her to make the conversation.
"So why on earth do you need to take his money to go on a shopping spree? Surely you're a millionaire by now and if not you must be damn close to. So why take his money?"
Haley looked at her unsure of whether she really wanted to go into the details of her financial arrangements with her but she could tell by the way Taylor was looking at her that this was one of those situations where she would not be able to simply brush the question aside. When Taylor set her mind to something she was like a dog with a bone and would not give up until she felt she had been given a satisfactory answer.
Drawing a deep breath Haley spoke quickly hoping Taylor would accept the answer that she gave and move on. The last thing she needed was to have Taylor dwelling on the anomalies of her situation.
"Chris has the credit cards it's just easier to let him handle all the finances. You know I've never been any good at that sort of stuff. Plus you know I'm just so busy with all the concerts and recording it just makes sense to let him take care of it." She stopped abruptly hoping that Taylor would not comment on the garbled explanation she had just given.
Taylor stared at her looking for some sign of what was going on with her. It was bad enough that she honestly expected the load of complete crap she had just fed her to be simply accepted but there was something else going on, something that she just couldn't lay her finger on at that moment. There was something else behind her words, a truth that she was not sharing and Taylor decided in that moment that she would do everything in her power to find out the truth of Haley's situation. It didn't take someone of Einstein's intelligence to figure out that Haley would not want to tell her but she was not going to take no for an answer.
"You can not be serious," Taylor said aghast at the thought of someone else husband or not controlling another adults spending in that way. "You must be making squillions why on earth would you let him do this to you. I mean it's not exactly like the two of you need to stick to some tight budget and besides the simple fact of the matter is you're the one who brings in all of the money. Why the hell shouldn't you be able to spend it whatever way you please?"
The car pulled to a stop on Fifth Avenue in front of Barneys and Taylor was momentarily distracted. "Oh wow that's Barneys." she said with a touch of awe. "Is this where we're going shopping?"
"Yeah well I figure it's a good place to start," Haley said "but if we can't find what we need around here then we might head over to Bloomingdales."
"Ah I'm sure this will be fine," Taylor said still slightly in awe. "Hell if I can't find what I want here then I don't deserve the title of shopping queen. Let's go," she said grabbing Haley's hand excitedly and dragging her out of the car, her interest in Haley's financial affairs temporarily forgotten.
For the next five hours Taylor dragged Haley around finding armload after armload of things to buy. She could see that Haley was lagging but as far as she was concerned they had barely even gotten started. The benefits of having a rich and famous sister were becoming more and more appealing to Taylor with every passing moment. Finally Taylor exhausted even herself and placing the last bag down for the driver to load into the car she turned back to Haley.
"Alright Haley, it's your turn."
"My turn?" she asked warily.
"Yep we're going to find you an outfit that's going to have every guy aged between fifteen and ninety in New York panting after you."
Haley looked appalled for a moment. "Oh come on Haley," Taylor said "I promise it will be fun."
Forty minutes later Taylor stood behind Haley grinning at her stunned expression in the mirror. "I told you it was perfect for you."
"Ah no I don't think so," Haley said wrapping her arms around herself trying not to stare at the way the metallic silver material clung to her body. It fell to her knees in a slim fitting skirt and the top consisted of not nearly enough material Haley felt as she tugged unsuccessfully at the deep v neckline trying to get it to sit higher above her breasts knowing that the back dipped just as low exposing just as much skin.
"Haley you can't be serious. This is a Narciso Rodriguez. You do not turn up your nose at a Narciso Rodriguez. You have to buy it," she told her sister forcefully seeing the doubt playing over her features. "Oh come on Haley this dress is perfect for you. How can you even think about saying no?"
"Taylor it's just too expensive," Haley told her "now I should probably get it off so we can get home. Chris will be wondering where I am."
"Oh my God Haley this is horse shit. Yeah it's an expensive dress but what's the point of being rich if you can't buy whatever the hell you want? What's really going on here Haley? I can't shake the feeling that you're not giving me the whole story. Is this about Chris?" she said suddenly as the truth began to dawn in her eyes. "Well I guess if you really don't want it then you had better take it off."
"Yeah I should do that," Haley said looking at her expectantly waiting for her to leave the room.
"Well go ahead," Taylor said "we grew up together. We're both women you haven't got anything that I haven't."
"Taylor um I…."
"What is it Haley spit it out? Do you have some reason why I can't stay in here? I mean the only thing I can think of would be that you have something to hide. You don't have anything to hide do you Haley?"
Taylor could see the stricken look in Haley's eyes as she looked at her before she forced herself to appear calm. "Of course not Taylor what could I possibly have to hide?" she said with a small laugh as if the very idea struck her as ridiculous.
"Well then go ahead," Taylor said crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot impatiently as she watched her.
She half expected her to try to make another excuse to get her out of there, she could almost see the wheels of her mind turning trying to find her escape clause but she also saw the moment where the knowledge that she would not be able to do this without Taylor being present finally hit home. She watched as agonisingly slowly she pulled down the zip her eyes locked onto Taylor's as she did, the moment she lowered the dress Taylor gasped in shock. Her eyes locking onto the ugly purple bruising prominently displayed on the left hand side of her rib cage.
"Haley what happened?" she demanded an answer from her sister but none was forthcoming. "Haley you have to tell me."
"It's nothing," Haley told her sister anxiously grabbing for her clothes and quickly pulling her shirt over her head wanting to hide herself from Taylor's all seeing gaze.
"How can you tell me that that's nothing?" Taylor ground out her eyes flashing angrily at Haley's inability to admit the truth that was so obvious. Even without seeing the bruising her suspicions had begun to form and now she was confronted with the blatant truth and Haley was still trying to deny it. "I can't believe you're letting him do this to you."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Haley said insistently.
"Oh come off it Haley give me some credit here. I have got eyes in my head you know and I'm not completely stupid."
"Taylor stop you don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't give me that crap Haley. He hit you now what the hell are you going to do about it?"
"You're wrong Taylor. Chris would never hurt me. I can't believe that you would even suggest such a thing."
"Oh really," Taylor said so if that's the case then why don't you explain to me where that bruise came from Haley. Well go on tell me."
Haley took a deep breath before continuing quietly. "I just fell over ok."
Taylor wanted nothing more than to continue arguing with her trying to force the truth from her but she truly didn't believe that it would get her anywhere. She may be the loud one of the two of them but there was no doubt that Haley was the stubborn one and the last thing Taylor felt like right now was trying to drag the truth from her. She would be staying for at least a few more days she had plenty of time to get Haley to admit the truth about her life to her.
In the car on the way home Haley remained silent apart from a few words to the driver when they had first come out which Taylor had been unable to hear she hadn't spoken a word. Looking at her now Taylor could see that she was completely lost in her thoughts.
They hadn't gone more than a few blocks when they pulled up in front of an austere looking grey building. Taylor looked at Haley inquisitively. "What are we doing here?" she asked.
"Just come with me," Haley said "There's something I need to give you."
"Ah Haley," she said as she followed her up the stairs and into the bank "you don't have to pay me off. I'm actually asking you because I care about you. Surely you don't think that I'm that low that I would actually blackmail you with this."
Haley said nothing walking straight to the manager's office and knocking tentatively. Hearing her voice they both entered the office. "Oh Mrs Keller what can I do for you?" the fifty-ish slim woman asked as she rose from her desk.
"I need to get into my safety deposit box," she told her "Can you please arrange that immediately?"
"Certainly Mrs Keller please follow me."
She led them into a small room at the back allowing them to sit down as she brought the box out to her. Haley opened it up as Taylor peered over her shoulder surprised to see that there was the only item contained inside. She looked curiously at the cardboard box wondering what on earth could be so valuable in an ordinary box such as that one that she could need to keep it locked in a bank vault. Taking it out she held it in her hands for a moment before turning to Taylor.
"I need you to take this, but you have to promise me that you won't open it ever. The only time you can open it is if something happens to me. Taylor you have to promise me." She said earnestly.
Taylor looked at her quizzically clearly waiting for her to explain further what the box contained but Haley remained silent simply holding the box out to her. She took it from her surprised to discover that it really wasn't all that heavy. For something that supposedly was so important she had expected it to have a much more significant physical weight. She turned it over in her hands feeling items moving inside as she did.
"Taylor I'm trusting you with this, please don't let me down."
"Ok gee Haley give me some credit will you."
Haley gave her one last searching look before turning and walking out of the room not waiting for Taylor to follow behind. She eventually followed after her still staring at the box in her hands.
Coming out of her little journey into her past Taylor looked once again at the box resting on the bed. It was hard to believe that she had kept it for five long years and had never opened it. From the moment she had got it in her hot little hands she had wanted to open it certain that it contained the answers that she had been looking for. But somehow she had resisted the urge but she would not do that anymore. Haley had made her promise that she would not open it unless something happened to her well as far as she was concerned something had definitely happened and it nullified any previous agreement.
With shaking hands she pulled open the flap at the side tipping it up so the contents spilled out onto the bed. Pawing through it eagerly she was surprised to see that the contents appeared to be nothing out of the ordinary. There were two leather bound journals that Taylor assumed were what Haley had used for jotting song lyrics and ideas into. She had seen her with books like these almost ever since she could write so was not surprised by their presence. What did capture her attention were the two envelopes now lying on the bed. One was plain no writing on it to give any indication of what it may contain the other one bore Nathan's name in handwriting that Taylor had trouble recognising as Haley's. It appeared that her hand must have been shaking badly when she wrote it.
Taylor picked it up holding it gently up to the light tempted to see if she could get an insight into the contents. Sighing she brought it back down to rest in her lap she knew what she had to do with it, she just wasn't sure if she should. Placing it down she picked up the other envelope lifting the flap and peering at the contents. There appeared to be photos inside, pulling one out Taylor glanced at it before dropping it almost immediately glaring at the offending article almost as if it had burned her. There it was the proof that she had been looking for glaring back at her in sharp Technicolor.
Clasping a corner between the tips of her fingers she lifted it up taking a deep breath as she allowed herself to look more closely at it. It was a photo of a woman's breast with one of the nastiest looking burns Taylor had ever seen. She could tell with only a quick look that it was about the size of a cigarette and she gasped as she saw what she instantly recognised as Haley's hair hanging down into the photo. Picking it up she slipped it into her pocket walking out leaving everything exactly where it was taking only the envelope with her.
Picking up her keys she called up the stairs to her sister. "Haley I'm going out. I'll be back in an hour or so."
Unsurprised by the lack of response she walked out to her car climbing in and immediately started the car up she needed to do this now before she lost the courage that it would require. Ten minutes later she pulled up in front of the house walking to the front door and knocking loudly. She waited impatiently for an answer hoping there was some other reason for the lack of a vehicle parked out the front. When no-one answered though she had to accept this was not going to go the way she had hoped. Taking the two items out of her pocket she slid them under the door before turning and walking away. She needed to go see Lucas and her son. Needed the reassurance of being with her son but she also needed to ask Lucas if he could keep Zach for the weekend even though that had not been their original arrangement. There were things she needed to do this weekend that would not be pleasant and she did not want her son there when they happened. She had to protect him from that, protect him from the realities of the world that would all too soon be thrust upon him.