There came a time
when the risk to remain tight in the bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-Anais Nin
Could he not just admire her; youth, bloom, lips, softness…must he spy. His focus would have to become sharp, cruel and suspicious while appearing on the outside to be civil…civil enough to engage her in conversation, get her talking about herself…every meeting will become contrived. He was resolved by the time he had reached the dungeon, it was his debt after all and he would see clear to paying it off. The only question left was why. Dumbledore must have had news that she was on to something with her research, it couldn't be anything sinister, merely a bright idea.
He made his way over to the bookshelf to scan Dragonflowers for clues. He read and gazed at photographs for half an hour when he came across a journal entry in the middle of the book. The expedition had just set up camp in the Blackforest of Germany and Hermione's comments caught his attention.
Blackforest, Germany August 1
The forest is cool with a floor of ancient pine needles. Charlie is very excited about Germany, there are many nooks, crannies, and mountain caves and river bends for dragonhunting. He has been corresponding with a professor at the university nearby and will be paying him a visit tomorrow. I will have plenty to do as well, gathering and sorting, many of the wildflowers are on the wane in August but if I go deep enough into the forest I may be successful. The evening primrose I'm searching for blooms twice a year and if I can find a well-lit glade by all accounts I should find my treasure…
Snape paused here and looked to her sideline notes pertaining to the primrose, he himself had long known the healing properties and its use for pain, it was a popular ingredient and fairly abundant, being a biennial meant there were more opportunities for procurement. The notes were written on a slant in the margin, small and faded, more a stream of consciousness than a purposeful reminder for later research;
Grind the petals
Add the liquid
Recite the numbers
Timing maybe everything?
He furrowed his brow, Recite the numbers?
He turned back to the end of the entry;
Charlie has taken an extended hike to the far south end of the forest, his professor friend, Andy, a doctor of paleontology lives a double life as muggle and wizard, researching birds and on the side conducting private research on the life of Dragons. We have all got on famously but alas I had to go my separate way today.
I found an outcropping of primroses and have gathered as many as possible without disturbing their root ball. Their quality is better and sturdier than any other I've found and that can probably be attributed to the acidity of the soil.
Snape paused to glance at the color photo of the primroses in the upper right corner. They were laid out on a table with a white sheet spread under them. The variety was a deep burgundy with a bright yellow face, they were placed delicately next to a cauldron, and in contrast they appeared as frightened little maidens. Snape's attention was drawn to two books aside the cauldron, they were obscured partially by the leaves so with a flick of his wand the photo in the book sprang up before him like a portrait and he teased the edges to enlarge the image.
"Arithmancy for Potions" and "A Proper Time for Magic" What are you planning Granger?
He knew the first title well, it was a somewhat intricate text that only his higher-level potions classes were introduced to, but only a few applications were applied, more as a nod to interdisciplinary study than as any serious scholarly application. But the second was a volume that had escaped him and that in and of itself was unusual, perhaps it was a text she had procured through her travels, although the title was in English, Miss Granger, no doubt had language translation spells at her disposal.
He restored the photo and resumed reading the journal entry;
…my hike back was not as enjoyable. I stopped halfway through at a cluster of rocks that was just off the path I had marked. I never saw the small viper that had struck out from inside the rock. Andy and Charlie told me the next day it was probably a common adder, black with a zigzag pattern running down its back. At first I thought it was a bug bite but by the time I had made it back to camp I was feeling dizzy and feverish. Luckily my colleagues had changed their plans and returned to camp before me. As soon as they saw me they knew something was very wrong. It is all a blur for me so I'm afraid my account doesn't make a good first hand story but Charlie has told me that his friend quite probably saved my life. There must have been blood at the bottom of my leg from the puncture wound and although small, the pressure of walking had caused blood to pump out. Andy acted quickly, slit the puncture wound with a knife and sucked out the rest of the venom.
Charlie thinks that I shouldn't hike alone anymore…
"Sensible.." said Snape into the night.
But we are always short handed and I don't want to lose any advantages, I have conceded to wear a necklace so that he can check my position if the hour becomes late, but only on the condition that he will wear one as well, after all his pursuits are much more dangerous, I'm just picking flowers.
I think perhaps it is more than that Miss Granger, Snape mused.
The next morning Snape went down to breakfast, solemn after a night of reading and puzzling. This morning there was only one goal in his mind and that was to visit his apothecary, and potions supplier, Bertram Garni. When Hermione Granger and Charlie Weasely sat down near him at breakfast he was lost in thought over if it was more probable that Betram had gone ill or senile, his countenance belied his somber mood and Charlie was the first to notice.
He leaned toward Hermione conspiratorially, "Looks like Snape just lost his best friend, but we all know that's impossible." Charlie smirked as he took a bite of potatoe from his fork.
Hermione responded with a tight lip smile to placate her business partner but she considered Charlie's words and wondered if the intended joke might be close to the truth.
She turned to her friend to explain, "I'll soon find out I'm due to accompany to the apothecary this morning. I'm sensing they are friends…of a sort."
"Well, when you figure out what sort let me know." Charlie shook his head and laughed. It was the Weasley's laugh to be sure, Hermione had experienced it time and time again throughout her Hogwarts career, it was a jovial sort of omniscience about situations and people, annoying really but usually dead on in the end. This time she wasn't so sure, Snape seemed different since she'd returned or maybe he seemed different because she had changed. The world was bigger now and more often she walked on unfamiliar ground, less sure of herself and in turn less sure about others.
"Miss Granger, I'm leaving in a few minutes…if you are still interested?" His tone was noncommittal.
"I'm ready whenever you are?"
They rose and departed the Great Hall, Albus looked without comment but made a mental note to make time for a chat with Severus this evening.
They walked quietly, he a quarter step ahead debating if he should begin the process of probing her now or wait for the walk back, when he heard Miss Granger speak.
"I have stolen from you professor."
She had caught him off guard and he rounded to look at her, his own face drawn into confusion.
"Stolen?…from me…?" He was searching his memories, unfocused on the present. It only took him a few moments.
"Oh, the potion ingredients, in your third year…well that was wrong indeed…but under the circumstances necessary."
"You did know…I was never sure?"
"Miss Granger, I hardly think we ought to dredge up old grievances about each other when you were a student."
"But what I'm referring to just happened yesterday."
Snape's eyes grew, "You stole something from me yesterday?"
"I suppose stole is the wrong word, I should have said borrowed."
"Speak plainly Miss Granger, you are muddling with the point." They were now in pace with each other and had wended their way down to the front gates.
"When I was giving my lecture yesterday, on the bleeding hearts, the students were losing interest, there were other people I could have borrowed from; Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupine but to be honest the one that was so vivid…was you. I have to admit using a little Professor Snape goes a long way." Hermione smiled hoping she hadn't gone to far in her explanation.
He opened the gate and turned his mouth down covering his reaction with his outstretched arm but as she passed in front she could tell by the lines about his eyes that she had made Snape smile.
He closed the gate and cast the protection spells, she stood off to the side waiting for him.
Unsure if he wanted to comment on her admittance he remained silent as they resumed walking, but something felt unfinished and he knew he should probably keep the conversation going for other reasons.
" It's not stealing, you are finding your way…and sometimes we borrow from others on our way to finding ourselves."
" It felt like stealing."
" It didn't injure me, or hurt anyone…you tried something, perhaps the fact that it was so effective is what is bothering you?" He smiled openly.
"Perhaps" her little laugh was taken as an agreement.
They were coming up to the apothecary and Snape made to hold the door for Hermione.
"Now let's see about Bertrand?"
The bell rang above the door as they entered Hermione was assaulted by the thick pungent scents of ingredients. Snape, unphased by the seeming lack of oxygen, walked to the counter purposefully.
"Bertrand!" He called out, questioningly.
A door slammed in the backroom and Snape raised an eyebrow, Hermione could tell that things were not how they should be.
Bertrand Garni stepped through the doorway, he was tall, with broad shoulders but slim. Hermione could see just how trim because he appeared to be tucking in his shirt as he walked.
"Severus, good to see you." He shook his head in mirth…" school has started already, hard to believe." He walked to the side of the counter and put on a linen apron.
"You have been well this summer… and your family." Snape inquired with a curious tone.
"Excellent"
Snape turned and gestured toward Hermione, "This is one of my former students, Hermione Granger…" Hermione walked over for the introduction, surprised how civil Snape was outside the classroom.
"A pleasure." Bertrand gave a small bow
" It seems Miss Granger has had an order she placed with you go astray? Do you possibly still have it?"
Bertrand's polite smiled slipped and a look of frustration slid over him.
He went to his notebook and looked up the order, I don't have an order from Miss Granger, and perhaps you are mistaken
"I'm sure I sent you a letter and I received a confirmation letter in return." She dug in her pockets for the note and produced from the folds of her cloak the reply. She handed the apothecary the reply and he started to shake his head.
"I must confess, I have been having much difficulty training my son, you see he filled in for me in August when I was called out of the country on a family matter. I can fill this for you now…half charge."
"That will not be necessary Bertrand. We see the predicament but my order was off as well, short on quite a few dry ingredients…I knew there must have been a reason."
Hermione saw Bertrand's eyes widen with checked fury, she was very glad she wasn't his son right now.
"Oh professor, my apologies."
Snape waved his hand as though the apology was insulting and in that gesture Hermione knew exactly what kind of friends they were, although she knew Charlie would never admit to not having Snape pegged.
Bertrand set to work immediately and Snape turned to browse about the shop, when he wasn't watching Hermione looked over at him and she noticed that he was holding his wand up his sleeve with the tip resting on his palm.
After a quarter hour Bertrand had the ingredients ready for both Snape and Hermione, their packages lay side by side on the table. Snape signed for his and then Hermione brought out her purse to pay ,she was rifling through the change when she looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Snape pocket the reply note she had presented and was left on the counter. She didn't say anything, but paid Bertrand and thanked him.
They left the shop but once outside Snape put his arm out to stop her.
"Granger, wait here a moment."
She watched as the wand slid out and he headed toward the back of the building. A few moments later, he returned, wand pocketed.
She looked at him questioningly.
"Something is wrong. "
"What, What is it?"
"It's Bertrand, his son didn't misplace your order or make a mistake on mine." Snape bent his head in thought and agitation.
"How do you know?"
" Because he's dead."
"What!"
"Not here Miss Granger" Snape took her arm and began moving in the direction of the Three Broomsticks. Once inside he escorted her to a table in the rear and motioned to Rosmerta for service. After the drinks were ordered and served he began his tale.