THE PENTHOUSE - EVENING

The sad remains of Samandriel had long since been hauled from the living room of the apartment and the space scrubbed. The room was now full of demons and monsters, drinking and killing time, as Lloyd Price's cover of "Stagger Lee" boomed merrily from the jukebox. Lydecker seemed to be the center of everything, as he told some apparently hilarious story about the capture of an archangel. Inferno's house band, Outside Her Syndrome, were bothering anything remotely female in the room, and subsequently getting laughed at by Dolly and Mog, who were understandably having none of it. Butcher was drinking in the corner with a small, dark man. Neither of them looked happy.

Shipley sat on the piano bench, idly playing a few bars of an old Gershwin show tune. He didn't feel like mixing. When he'd finished his story, Lydecker made his way over to the piano and set his drink on it.

"Freddie, Freddie, Freddie," he said, jolly and winded. "I've been working on Moeko and Keiko, and they both like your New Guy mystique and that quiet, 'Calvin Klein' thing you do with the back of your head. Let's go."

"Where are the big bosses?" Shipley asked.

"Uh,... Balthazar's probably doing a celebratory orgy," Lydecker said, "and I think Crowley said something about being covered in heaven-goobs and having to burn his suit, so he's likely having a little funeral for it in his bathtub."

Just then, King came in pushing a mail cart, holding a clipboard in one hand. Everyone started whooping it up when they saw him.

"Simmer, people, simmer," he said loudly, and checked his board. "The total this week is eight thousand, that's up over four-hundred from last week. Good work everyone!"

There was some cheering and self-congratulations at that.

"Also, this week's winner is Dolly again, with a whopping seven-hundred!"

Dolly curtsied to a round of applause and whistling. They all started happily going through the mail. All but Shipley and Lydecker.

"What was that about?" Shipley asked.

"Hate mail," Lydecker said. "And death threats. Dolly always get the most because she's breaking up Crowlthazar."

"What in the hell is... Crall..."

"Crowlthazar," Lydecker said. "It's, like, the biggest 'ship in the fleet."

"I... don't follow," Shipley said.

"'Ship," Lydecker said, as if he was stupid for not knowing, "as in, relationship. Crowley's with Balthazar. Their friendship, their possible romance - will they, won't they? Have they? You hafta know this if you're gonna work on Inferno."

Shipley looked a little twitchy. "Yeah, about that-."

"Ugh, god!" Lydecker started trying to scrape something of his foot. "It think I've still got sniper on my chelsea boot. That's three times this month!"

"Do you ever wonder about the angel?" Shipley asked, deep in thought.

"You mean Samandriel?" Lydecker asked, distracted. "Yeah, no, we... exploded him, so... not much to wonder about."

Shipley gave him a snotty sideways glance. "Not the dead one, Thinkenstein, the other one. Balthazar. You ever get the feeling he's... I dunno, hiding something?"

"This is what you're doing instead of Keiko?" Lydecker asked. "Work day's over, we've already done our thinking, dude."

And yes, it was really weird to hear someone with a posh London accent use the word "dude." Unless, or course, you'd spent any amount of time with Lydecker.

"Besides," Lydecker went on, "if he's hiding anything, it's probably that he's gonna betray all the demons, and when that starts happening, Crowley'll just-." He pantomimed ripping Shipley's still-beating heart out and crushing it, complete with a raspberry sound effect thrown in. "Butcher and Legion have a pool going about when we'll hafta kill 'im."

He gave a salute to Butcher and the guy he was with, Legion. They saluted back grudgingly.

"Everybody knows the angel is probably gonna go crazy and try to kill us all," Lydecker said. "I mean, he's an angel. It's sort of their raison d'être."

"I think you might be wrong about that," Shipley said. "I think... Okay, I know I'm the greenhorn and everything-."

"I don't know what that means," Lydecker interrupted, sipping his drink. "Carry on."

"I know I'm new around here," Shipley began again - quietly, as though he didn't want anyone else to hear. "I'm gettin' a different read off these guys. And I feel like I'm the only one who's seein' this."

Lydecker picked up on his surreptitious vibe and sat next to him on the bench, being all hushed and serious with him. He even put his drink back down.

"What'd you think's really happening?" Lydecker whispered.

As soberly as anyone's ever said anything, Shipley answered, "I think Balthazar and Crowley have a thing for each other."

At that, Lydecker busted up laughing. Really, really laughing hard, he tried to brace himself on the piano and was smashing white keys in the process. Shipley looked around, worried. Lydecker was making an awful lot of noise.

"It's not funny," Shipley whispered. "I think those two guys might be in love with each other."

That only seemed to make Lydecker laugh louder. "You're one of those bloody Crowlthazar people!" he wheezed. "Oh, god, your name's even Shipley!"

"Would you shut up?" Shipley whispered, punching Lydecker on the shoulder. "I don't 'ship' them, okay? I'm not even a hundred percent clear on what that means. Look, I'm just sayin', it seems like there's something going on here that no one's talkin' about. Maybe I'm wrong, but why is it so hard to believe? I mean, they could be."

Having had himself a good giggle-fest, Lydecker sighed and caught his breath. "...Just glad I wasn't drinking when you said that," he whispered. "I get the read, dude, I do, but that's just their way. Crowley likes to make people uncomfortable, and even in this day and age, the quickest way to do that is a dude with a dude. And Balthazar's flirty and intrusive, because he's a slut and that's just what we're like." He raised his glass proudly to that and took a drink.

"Yeah, I get all that," Shipley said, frustrated, "but it's not what I meant."

"I was here at the beginning," Lydecker said, "and I'm telling you, the angel can barely stand demons. Besides, even if he did fancy Crowley-." He'd started to chuckle and had to get it under control. He cleared his throat. "Even if he did, it'd be one way, wouldn't it? 'Cause demons... you know. We can't."

That seemed to upset Shipley. "What are you saying?" he asked. "Demons can't fall in love? That's crazy."

"We don't have the gears for it," Lydecker said with a shrug.

"So, what," Shipley said, getting a little ticked, "you're saying... that I couldn't meet somebody and fall in love?"

"Just stands to reason," Lydecker said. "No soul, no love."

"But... that's all we are," Shipley said. "We're souls. Yeah, broken ones, but... who's to say we can't come back from that? Right? If we can still feel all the hate and wrath, and despair we knew in life, and all the things that dragged us down into the pit, isn't it possible that we could still feel something that could lift us out again? That we could find something sincere, and... and pure, and be pure with it?"

Lydecker stared at Shipley for a moment. "That was heavy," he finally said. "That's was really beautiful."

"Shut. Up." Shipley said.

"No, I really mean it," Lydecker said, smiling. "I like the idea - that demons can fall in love. It's fantastic."

"Yeah, well, I'm just saying it's possible," Shipley grumbled, and went back to playing his tune.

"Yeah, I know it is," Lydecker said. "'Cause if it wasn't, how d'you explain how in love you are with me?"

Shipley shoved Lydecker off the bench... He kinda had that coming.